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abeChristianson

She moved a guy in but will not file for divorce..

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Long story short, I met, I married (for 11 and half years) I left due to her emotional abuse and because she didn't seem interested in going to church. Soon after I left I was hanging out with an old friend from high school. This is after we decided to get the divorce, mainly because I moved out of state and use of porn. After I moved I fell inactive and didn't necessarily hide from the church but I never requested my records to be sent and I know my wife didn’t tell them where I was, but they found me and I started to become active again. I want a temple marriage and all the joys that come with one, so when I talked about it with her she said that she never wanted to have anything to do with the church and she wants to go out drinking and bar hopping. I said that I want to have the divorce filed but she refuses and now she has a new boyfriend living with her. Since he moved in she has been rude to me and will sometimes interrupt my conversations with my daughter. I cannot afford an attorney or the filing fees myself. I feel as though she is playing a game with me. She post daily on Facebook that she loves her new boyfriend and that he is the best thing that has happened to her. I feel discouraged and want to get it all over with. I also want to find an eternal compainion…

Sorry for the disjointed story.... I just need help...

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I started to become active again. I want a temple marriage and all the joys that come with one, so when I talked about it with her she said that she never wanted to have anything to do with the church and she wants to go out drinking and bar hopping. I said that I want to have the divorce filed but she refuses and now she has a new boyfriend living with her.

Have you tried talking to your bishop, or home teachers? If you've talked to your wife and she won't do it, they may be your next best step.

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You can go to your nearest Family Law courthouse and ask questions. There is usually a 'self-help' center to help you with the filing. Don't know about fees, but I'm sure there are some. But it would be a place to start.

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Generally speaking if there are no children involved, or property to argue over, get yourself a paralegal to fill out the necessary forms and file for divorce.

In Oregon, the paralegal I got only cost me $250 and I paid all the court fees (totalled about $260). Took 6 months total.

You don't have to have your spouses permission, or even have her signature. It may take longer without her signing the papers. In Oregon the spouse can not serve the other with the divorce papers. I had run out of money to pay for a person to serve, so my paralegal did it.

You have to pay CLOSE attention to the dates- don't file late! Had I known how easy, cheap and quick it would have been I would have done it 3 YEARS earlier. But I believe the lying jerk, and kept waiting for him to agree to the divorce.

Go to your county courthouse, ask the receptionist where you get the packet of forms to file for divorce. Then DO IT!

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Yes. Go to the family law courthouse as skippy mentioned and ask questions and request help. They know what they're doing and will gladly help you. At least that was my experience. The laws vary so much from state to state it's hard to say, but sometimes filing fees can be waved, depending on the circumstances. My divorce, for example, cost neither myself nor my ex-husband anything (we're in Oregon).

It's too bad she refuses to agree to divorce, especially under the circumstances of now having a live-in boyfriend. If there are no children and if both are in agreement as to the distribution of property, the divorce process can sometimes go very quickly. My divorce was final less than two weeks after filing, but that's because we filed as co-petitioners and were in agreement on everything.

I would add, though, that even with the most amicable divorce, where both parties are in agreement on everything and both wish to divorce, it can still be a traumatic life event.

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Guest mirancs8

I went right into the court house in their legal library and they had all the resources there. Even via email the court is there to guide you through the processes.

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I see billboards all the time advertising divorces for $100-$200, of course that's assuming you aren't fighting over anything and don't have to see a judge... just paperwork filling and name changes if desired.

And I agree with the others, stop waiting on her and move on with your life.

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Why are you going on Facebook and checking up on it when you know the only result for you is pain? Might be helpful to remove her name from viewing. Or even not visit the site. You are so important. It isn't good for you to engage in this if there is no possible good.

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Going through a divorce myself (she filed) , I'd say that you need to get this thing filed so you can begin moving forward. She clearly has moved on and has put you in the rear view mirror. I'd suggest you do everything you can to do the same. And yes, delete the Facebook. I even blocked her from my cell because I don't want the drama. Email works well because it leaves a record and keeps us "nice." I wish you luck with what you are going through. I also hope to find an eternal companion in the future. I hope we both find what we are looking for :)

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Delete or unfriend her from your Facebook! How does keeping tabs on her like that help you move forwards and keep a positive (and healthy) mindset?

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Guest mirancs8

Agree about the facebook. Definately unfriend her because you'll make youself nuts. Trust me.

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There are some attorneys that will help you fill out and file the paperwork, but will not represent you. This is typically at a more nominal fee than retaining an attorney. Some attorneys will work with you when you come up with the retainer. I agree, you have to file and get the motion going. Also, copy-print-screen all her Facebook Wall posts, they now allow those in evidence hearings in Family Law. Since you do have a daughter as well, your best way is to sacrifice and get an attorney to go after custody. There are Dad Organizations to help you with the rights of Fathers. Google Father Rights Organization and look for a local one, met up and network with other fathers. There are typically attorney's there as well.

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Thank you all for your advice. I keep her on Facebook because it is the only way to get recent pictures of my daughter. She doesn't email them to me. The only thing about the divorce is that I live in Montana now and she lives in Wisconsin, so where do I file the divorce papers?

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I would file in Montana and let her work her end however she wishes.

Montana is a no-fault divorce state so you only have to show that you have lived apart for more than 6 months to get a divorce decree.

Shouldn't be too expensive if you do it yourself at the district court but I don't know if they let you do that.

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