A Thread Of Pearls

[Gwen]

Hi everyone, I though it would be fun to have a place to share our "pearls". not a place for debate, or to discuss the doctorines. but to share the little miracles and tender mercies of the Lord. experiances in our lives when we felt the love of our Heavenly Father, when our testamonies grew. This isn't just for LDS. I beleive we all get witness from the Holy Ghost that guides us in our lives and testifies of principles, example being that i have heard many non lds share very powerful stories of "mother's grace". For this to work it must be a safe place. no debates here. if someone shares a principle you don't understand bring the subject up in another thread, and if at all possible try not to quote from this. just say someone mentioned in another thread the principle of X and i have a question...... no one likes to have to defend their testamony and sacred experiances. however, at the same time as evidanced in other threads there are many who are struggling. for me one of the best was to stay positive is to read of others wonderful faith affirming experiances. i would hope this could be a place for us to share and feel the spirit. we can debate elsewhere.

Matther 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

NO SWINE LIKE BEHAVIOR PLEASE!

Thanks :)

I'll get started with an experiance that realy built my testimony in a way that has carried me for some time. I did share this in another thread and if fact it is a copy from it, sorry to those who are reading it twice. I will share another when I have more time to write.

I was preparing to go to the temple and a new stake presidency was called. I knew most of the brethern being called and while I liked the stake pres. one of his counselors i didn't like. i had a negative encounter with him a year before. anyway, i didn't worry about it, being the first time i was going to the temple i would interview with the stake pres. anyway. well, my interview came and the stake pres had another more pressing issue to resolve and sent his counselor, the one i didn't like. i had some questions i wanted to ask and desided i wasn't going to ask him, because i didn't like him (real mature i know). i went in for my interview, we talked and then he asked if i had any questions. i had a long list and decide to ask just one. i asked my one question, he went on for about 20min. answering it. he finished talking, and said, "I'm not sure if I even answered your question. Did that help?" what he didn't know is that he had answered EVERY question on my list, and the spirit was very strong with me. i feel the Lord used the situation to teach me. what i learned without a showdow of a doubt is that the Lord does qualify whom he calls. just becouse of a perosnality difference between us didn't mean he was not inspired or quified to perform his calling. this is something i KNOW. years later i have questioned if the bishop was doing as he should, or if i was doing as i should in my calling. instead of getting mad and leaving church because i don't like the bishop or because my calling was to hard (i have seen many do both) i remind myself that i know whom the Lord calls he qualifies. All is well. i keep to my testimony and in time all works out fine.

ALmom

[Gwen]

Ok, here is another pearl from my life. Sorry it is so long. I had my first child and he had something the Dr. called exaggerated marrow (sp?) reflex. It looked something like tightening every muscle and holding it for a few seconds, and then releasing it and crying, more like screaming, like he was very scared. The whole thing, start to finish (calmed down) lasted 30 sec. or less. The Dr said he would out grow it by one month and he did. I had my second child and he had the same thing. Only he would instead of crying right away he would “hold his breath” and turn blue. This too was gone by one month. I had my third and he had what appeared to be the same thing. This time however he would sleep all the time. He didn’t make eye contact the way my others did as newborns, he only ate every 6 hours and that wasn’t much. I took him to the Dr, he said that the birth was very hard (difficult delivery) and he was 2 weeks early (not considered premature) and he had more than enough weight (9 ½ lbs) not to worry, he was just tired, and needed the rest. Let him sleep and he will wake up fine. At around one month he quit the marrow episodes (as we came to call them in our house) and he woke up. He hit this world ready to learn it all. All seemed to be well. At almost 3 months exactly he again had a marrow episode. It was late on a Friday, so I decided to watch him and keep an accurate chart of when this happened, how long and what was going on when it started and then on Monday see the Dr. The length and frequency increased over the weekend and by Monday I was convinced they were seizures. My husband had administered a priesthood blessing by this point. The Dr agreed and referred me to a specialist in the city next to us (1 hr north). I had an appt first thing Tuesday morning. I went and the neurologist said he wanted to do some brain scans and other tests and gave me a prescription to help stop the seizures. The scans and things were scheduled for first thing on Thursday morning. The medicine did nothing, the frequency and length continued to increase until they were lasting appx 3 min. and were coming every 2 hours. He wasn’t eating but every 12 hours by this point. I went in for the test. The last test of the day was 45 min. of brain scans (EEG i think it was called). By this point he hadn’t made eye contact, or smiled at me in nearly a week. As soon as I was headed out the door he had a seizure, I brought him back in so the tester could see what was going on (a witness). The director of the testing department (office down the hall) heard the commotion and came in. She also watched it. She then told me to immediately return to the neurologist before leaving town. When I got to the Dr’s office, she had already called, asked him to see me immediately and sent the brain scan results for him to review ASAP. I thank God for her being there. The Dr. took me into his office and sat me down and said you have a very sick baby I want you to take him directly to the hospital from here. We have to stop these seizures. He said he was very worried about the brain damage that can be caused from prolonged seizures. He told me to use his phone, it will call anywhere in the world, call who you need to (he was Islamic I believe). I called everyone I knew. Family dropped everything and drove 6 hours to take care of our other children, others started contacting family to participate in a group prayer and fasting on that Sunday. Friends of family members who were taking time off work said they would pray for us. As I left the Dr’s office to go to the hospital he asked if there was anything else I needed. I said a prayer would be nice. He said I can do that. I don’t know for sure how many people were praying and fasting with us by this point. Within less than an hour they were pumping meds into him on an iv, the Dr prescribed so much that the nurse checked the Dr’s orders twice and had another nurse confirm before starting. It was hard to sit there and just wait. In the very early hours Sunday morning (still in the hospital) he started whining and breathing hard (the way children do after crying a lot). I was calm but concerned, I called the nurse in. She watched for about 5 min. she thought things seemed fine, but wanted to try to wake him up just in case. We started moving him and rubbing him to wake him. He opened his eyes and for the first time in over a week made eye contact with me and smiled and then went right back to sleep. The room was calm and I knew then all would be fine. The Dr called every morning and evening to check on us and said I prayed for your baby today. I would tell him thank you and I prayed for you today. He would say I’m fine pray for your baby. I reassured him that I could pray for more than one person at a time. Anyway, he called Sunday morning to tell me he was diagnosing him with west syndrome. He scheduled me an appointment with a children’s hospital that was another hour north from where I was (2 hours from our home). He released us Monday morning, the appt was for Wednesday. The second Dr. said that it wasn't west and it was a misdiagnosis. This did not feel right, my son still couldn’t hold his head up, or follow anything with his eyes, and although the seizures had stopped he wasn’t eating but every 4 or 5 hours. I went back to the first Dr who was very upset and proceeded to show me his credentials and explain that he was indeed the better Dr and had not messed this one up. However, I knew what I felt that Sunday morning when he smiled at me and this reassured me. The Dr offered to help me find any Dr I wanted for a third opinion so that I would know what was best for my son. My husband and I prayed and decided to wait and let the Lord work, the seizures were stopped. Around 9 months we saw the Dr again. We did 6 hours of brain scans. The Dr again took me in his office and sat me down. I wasn’t nervous. He said I can find nothing abnormal about your son’s brain. I have evidence of my diagnosis from before and I know your son was sick. This stuff doesn’t just go away, prayer saved your baby. Officially I must remove my diagnosis and lawyers won’t let me write prayer in charts, but prayer saved your baby. He then set out a plan to have him off the meds for his first birthday. He also took us out in the hall, called his nurses around and showed off (in his words) his miracle baby. I feel like the diagnosis was correct and that Sunday morning when he smiled at me was when he began his journey to being healed. He will be 3 in December, med free since year one, and no one can tell he ever had any problems. In fact he is so into everything that I sometimes call him my little monster and my husband laughs and says don’t forget that one is your little miracle. Now I know that everyone’s prayers and fasting aren’t answered this way, but I do know that if our prayers hadn’t been answered that there would have been a reason. Trust in the Lord.

ALmom

[Ray]

Okay, here is one of my pearls.

There's a pearl in every thought that's inspired by God, but at first we may not know it's there.

So if I see a pearl that I know you don't see, and I know it's from God, I will share.

And if you think there's a pearl, when I say there is not, you can think what you want.

I won't care.

You can do what you want. You can think what you want. There are false pearls out there.

Be aware. :)

[Princess3dward]

Hi..

I am still young...

But being a convert, I think I have a little fron the outside to share...

I will not go into detail, because I would get emotional and never finish a post...

Okay...

And I have OCD... so I WILL type anyway a lot...

I can't help it.. and if I try and take it out.. I cry... No lie...

Anyway.

My stones.. (maybe not pearls)..

I have a testimony of repentence..

Before I was a member..

I was not at all a good person.

I was actually a 'lil skanky to be quite blunt...

Anyhow (another OCD word... sorry)

Before I was all... ewww... I was with this guy..

And to make a long story short...

BAD BAD relationship..

I messed things up for me so bad...

And now somethings that God asks are harder to so..

The basic underline is JUST LISTEN and don't do them.

I went to my first leadership...

And at the variety night..

I just cried..

The whole time..

No one knows what brought it on...

I was just given too much time to think...

Anyhow...

I cried all night..

And even though I was baptised and all..

and that was supposed to clean me..

I think that the issue was never resolved.

I cried and prayed...

And after that, I found a talk in my purse..

Now... I don't know whos it was...

It was NOT mine...

It was some guy with messy writing and a little sister names Cassie..

Anyhow...

I read this talk, that had nothing to do with my problem..

but it was like it was talking to me.

It was totally solving my issue and making me feel better...

And better yet...

I was forgiven for my awful horrible disgusting sin..

and although the pain will still be there...

and I will be sad about it after I am married, hopefully to someone who followed that commandment (although that might make me feel more like crap.. it is still what I want..), I repented, and felt whole...

Now that I think about it..

I feel blah...

but.... I know it is okay...

And that God understands my rocky journey back...

and that I got it now.. :) And I can go home!

I am sorry..

That was a tangent huh?

Bye!

The weird paragraphing is OCD too.. I am really sorry about the way I post guyz...

I feel bad for whoever has to put up with the weirdness of it.

[Ray]

I think that YOU are totally adorable, Desire'. :)

If you happen to care what I think.

[Gwen]

don't apologize for your pearls Desiré. thank you for sharing. remember, pearls start out as a grain of sand that is causing trouble for the oyster. diamonds are lumps of coal under a lot of pressure for long periods of time. sometimes our greatest trials will become our most valued treasures. :)

[Guest ApostleKnight]

Powerful, Desire. Now that is a testimony.

[Ray]

Now that is a testimony.

I agree... but not because I care what he thinks.

[Princess3dward]

If you happen to care what I think.

I do totally care, Ray.

You are great too!

<div class='quotemain'>

Now that is a testimony.

I agree... but not because I care what he thinks.

Thanx AK, and LOL, Ray!

don't apologize for your pearls Desiré. thank you for sharing. remember, pearls start out as a grain of sand that is causing trouble for the oyster. diamonds are lumps of coal under a lot of pressure for long periods of time. sometimes our greatest trials will become our most valued treasures. :)

Thankies. I will remember that.

It DID do something for a testimony...

no matter how much I wish it never happened..

[Traveler]

Here is one of my pearls. As a teenager I knew and had a personal relationship with Apostle Hugh B Brown. I was able to often converse with him in informal settings. It was my goal to "stump" him with a gospel related question. One day I though I had him for sure. I had caught my bishop doing something he should not have done. I had caught him in the very act. The problem was that no one knew but me. The bishop did not know I saw him and that I knew he had done wrong.

I was not sure what I should do. So I asked Pres. Brown, "Do you support your bishop even if you know that he is wrong?"

I was quite surprised by Pres. Brown's answer - he paused for a long time looking me straight in my eyes, then very sternly he said to me, "Young man you support your bishop --- especially if you know he is wrong because he needs your support more then than he does at any other time!"

The Traveler

Hi..

I am still young...

But being a convert, I think I have a little fron the outside to share...

I will not go into detail, because I would get emotional and never finish a post...

Okay...

And I have OCD... so I WILL type anyway a lot...

I can't help it.. and if I try and take it out.. I cry... No lie...

Anyway.

My stones.. (maybe not pearls)..

I have a testimony of repentence..

Before I was a member..

I was not at all a good person.

I was actually a 'lil skanky to be quite blunt...

Anyhow (another OCD word... sorry)

Before I was all... ewww... I was with this guy..

And to make a long story short...

BAD BAD relationship..

I messed things up for me so bad...

And now somethings that God asks are harder to so..

The basic underline is JUST LISTEN and don't do them.

I went to my first leadership...

And at the variety night..

I just cried..

The whole time..

No one knows what brought it on...

I was just given too much time to think...

Anyhow...

I cried all night..

And even though I was baptised and all..

and that was supposed to clean me..

I think that the issue was never resolved.

I cried and prayed...

And after that, I found a talk in my purse..

Now... I don't know whos it was...

It was NOT mine...

It was some guy with messy writing and a little sister names Cassie..

Anyhow...

I read this talk, that had nothing to do with my problem..

but it was like it was talking to me.

It was totally solving my issue and making me feel better...

And better yet...

I was forgiven for my awful horrible disgusting sin..

and although the pain will still be there...

and I will be sad about it after I am married, hopefully to someone who followed that commandment (although that might make me feel more like crap.. it is still what I want..), I repented, and felt whole...

Now that I think about it..

I feel blah...

but.... I know it is okay...

And that God understands my rocky journey back...

and that I got it now.. :) And I can go home!

I am sorry..

That was a tangent huh?

Bye!

The weird paragraphing is OCD too.. I am really sorry about the way I post guyz...

I feel bad for whoever has to put up with the weirdness of it.

Just a note: Once you have repented which includes a covenant - you are as pure and clean and wonderful as someone that has never commited the sin. Sometimes the hardest part of repentance is forgiving yourself so that you can move forward in your covenant. Perhaps it is time you let your heart forget some things in your past. We all have such things that need forgetting.

The Traveler

[Princess3dward]

Just a note: Once you have repented which includes a covenant - you are as pure and clean and wonderful as someone that has never commited the sin. Sometimes the hardest part of repentance is forgiving yourself so that you can move forward in your covenant. Perhaps it is time you let your heart forget some things in your past. We all have such things that need forgetting.

The Traveler

NOTE: This is my own personal belief and in no way effects the views of others!

I believe, that if I was truly forgiven, or truly repented in the first place...

I wouldn't have been as.... blah as I was...

I don't think I truly humbled myself and repented the first time..

I MAY be wrong, and MAY have repented just fine..

But it didn't feel just fine..

[Ray]

I think you're both right from a different perspective.

Repentance involves a change of heart within us, our willingness to abide by our covenants with the Lord

AND

Our Lord who is willing to make covenants with us, which if we keep, He is bound to honor.

Sometimes it takes time to be willing, though, and sometimes it takes time to feel forgiven.

I think that's it in a nutshell... but it's rather complex... there are many more details involved.

[Dr T]

Des,

Do you really have OCD or are u just using that concept?

[Brother Dorsey]

I was forgiven for my awful horrible disgusting sin..

and although the pain will still be there...

and I will be sad about it after I am married, hopefully to someone who followed that commandment (although that might make me feel more like crap.. it is still what I want..), I repented, and felt whole...

Now that I think about it..

I feel blah...

but.... I know it is okay...

And that God understands my rocky journey back...

and that I got it now.. :) And I can go home!

Desrie'...you have nothing to be ashamed about...you didn't know that what you were doing was a sin.....The Lord does not hold you accountable for something that you didn't know was a sin.....you need to forgive yourself Des because the Lord has, he remembers nothing, it's as if it never happened.....remember, all your sins were washed clean when you were baptised.....Des, you should not feel bad, you should not feel ashamed......it's like it never happened...Oh, and be sure you marry only a returned missionary....lol....and yes, you can go home.....keep the faith and endure to the end girlie!

[Princess3dward]

Des,

Do you really have OCD or are u just using that concept?

Me and my dad both do... and my biological grandparents...

I show trates of a "pure O", so says my dad and a doctor I went to about my panic attacks (also supposidly connected....)

So therefore... I don't lie..

Desrie'...you have nothing to be ashamed about...you didn't know that what you were doing was a sin.....The Lord does not hold you accountable for something that you didn't know was a sin.....you need to forgive yourself Des because the Lord has, he remembers nothing, it's as if it never happened.....remember, all your sins were washed clean when you were baptised.....Des, you should not feel bad, you should not feel ashamed......it's like it never happened...Oh, and be sure you marry only a returned missionary....lol....and yes, you can go home.....keep the faith and endure to the end girlie!

This is the best post in the world!

Thank you very much!!!!!

:D :D

[Dr T]

Hi Des,

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder and Panic Disorder is also an anxiety d/o. I wasn't accusing you of lying people sometimes say things like that but don't really mean it.

Dr. T

[Brother Dorsey]

Okay....I have many pearls that the Lord has blessed me with but I want to share the latest.....I will try to be brief.

A few months ago the wife and I were contemplating a trip to southern Ca. to visit relatives (it had been 6 years). My parents were going to celebrate their 50th anniversary in August so we figured it would be a good opportunity....we sat down and discussed our finances and it look impossible...we had no savings (we are a one paycheck family) and we needed at least $2000. For the next month and a half we had scrimped and saved about half, it was very difficult.....we were getting very discouraged.. ..my wife said maybe we could go later in the month when we had all the money but I was prompted very strongly by the Spirit to go by the 9th, (their anniversary was the 11th). With just a week to go we were still $600 short, we had made all the plans, rented the Van, I took my vacation time etc.. I told my wife the Lord will provide because he want's us to visit relatives....4 days before we were to leave I receive a very unexpected check from my work for monies overpaid for insurance.....it amounted to just under $600. ..the Lord wanted us there! This is just the beginning of this pearl....the Wed. before we left we went to the Temple to thank the Lord for the help and to also seek blessings of safety for our trip. We were off.....first we stopped in Bakersfield Ca. (900 miles from home) to attend my parents 50th...it was great to see them....we stayed 4 days and then went to Los Angeles to visit the wifes parents....while there we were able to go to the L.A. Temple (beautiful Temple). we stayed 3 days.....we traveled back to Bakersfield and visited a final day....I hugged my mother and told her I loved her and went to my dad and he holds out his hand....I just grab him in a bear hug and tell him I love him and he's says I love you too....Next, we were off to Sacramento where we had tickets to tour the new Temple there before it was dedicated.....the next day we went home.....4 days later I got a call at work that my father had very unexpectedly passed away ...now some may say this is not a pearl.....but it's more like a diamond to me because the Lord knew it was his time and gave me the gift of seeing him one last time, to know our parting words were I love you. Don't get me wrong I grieve, but I also rejoice because I know my father walks in the gardens of paradise....if it weren't for the true Gospel of Jesus Christ I could never have endured this tradegy in my life.....But, this pearl still doesn't end .....I flew down for the funeral and spent two days with my mother and siblings....of these, I am the only LDS....I was able to bare my testimony to my Mother of the restored Gospel, We talked about eternal marriage and the Celestial kingdom, we talked for 3 hours the night before the funeral, I was able to give her a blessing and dedicate my Fathers grave.....she now has a Book of Mormon (hopefully she's reading it) .....Yes, the Lord has opened the windows of Heaven and poured out blessing upon me and my family for which I am truly grateful....in the name of our Lord and Savior, the great redeemer of the world, even Jesus Christ, amen.

[LionHeart]

I beleive the thing that destroys more people than any other principle is the fact that after someone commits a sin, they feel condemned for it. At this point, satan creeps and and convinces that person that it's too late for them. They just as well quit striving to earn a celestial glory because they already blew that opportunity, or that they can never be worthy of it now.

Whenever we allow ourselves to fall into temptation, we must repent, recieve forgiveness, forget about it, and move on. We must not let it weigh on our minds to the point that it causes our downfall. Remeber, all sins can be forgiven except the sin against the Holy Ghost.

L.H.

[Princess3dward]

Hi Des,

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder and Panic Disorder is also an anxiety d/o. I wasn't accusing you of lying people sometimes say things like that but don't really mean it.

Dr. T

Ooooohp.

Well.. I ment it..

I mean most of which I say...

Unless it was a really crazy typo...

Which does happen.. in some cases...

[LionHeart]

Okay, here's my pearly addition; if it could be called such:

Last fall I was driving an 18 wheeler for spud harvest. The mud flaps on my truck were mounted to a rod which poked into a hole. The rod had a hole for a pin to keep it from falling out. Mind you, mud flaps are required by law. When I first put the mud faps on, I had such a struggle getting them into the mounting hole that I figured there was absolutely no way they would come back out. So I didn't bother to put a pin in them. A few days later, and much to my disappointment, I noticed one of them had fallen out. I feared that I would go through the port of entry and get stopped by the officers there and get fined a large amount of money. So I said a silent prayer to myself and asked the Lord if He would help me find my mud flap. Just at that moment, a feeling of comfort came over me, and it was like a voice that said "Yes, I will help you find it."

At this point, the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I should get a pin in the other one before I lose it as well. But being the slothful person that I am, I forgot. And the next day, voila; the other one was gone as well. So I sheepishly said another prayer and asked the Lord if He would help me find that one as well. And again, the answer came immediately, however this one was a little more stern. It said: "ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! You knew that it could fall out and yet you did nothing to prevent it. I will still help you find the first one, but you will never see the second one again."

The very next day, I found the first one. But I have never seen the second one since. I just had to build a new one.

Now there were two things that I learned from this. First of all, if you know somethiing could go wrong, and you do nothing to prevent it, you cannot expect the Lord to come bail you out. He expects us to act on our agency and do our parts. He will not do everything for us.

And secondly, and probably most importantly, this experience assured me that despite all of my weaknesses, my Lord has not abandoned me. Nor will He so long as I seek after Him.

L.H.

[Princess3dward]

That is a good story.

I can be slothful too...

:) I will try and correct that before I get into bigger trouble.

[Gwen]

thank you for sharing. those are great.

Brother Dorsey that brought tears to my eyes.

LionHeart i had to laugh with understanding. i can't count how many times our Heavenly Father has shown me great love and support while at the same time chastizing me. because of this i am truely starting to understand what it means to correct with love.

thanks again :)

[foip05]

If im getting this right a pearl is an expearance that happend to you from prayr or asking god

well here mine small but defenetly helped me srry its

I was taking the bus from salt lake, (were i heard of mormons and what there some what a bout)

to alberta. When the bus gets to greatfall they make you get off the bus over nite and being 12 you don't have all the money in the world. He sugessed that we get a hotel room close to the terminal. Of course i jumped at the thought. As i was laying on my bed i got board so i pick up the book two guy gave me while in salt lake. So before reading the book of mormon I prayd for god to be there so i new what to do. And I starded reading thea book. This guy asked some questions as i sat there and i couldnt anserw them not knowing eny thing about your religion. All of a sudden this guy tryed to jumping on top of me, (i think he waid about 200lb). Its like something took over my body. My leg whent up and my foot landed in the middle of his chest. He stopped in his trcaks. I exteded my leg and he fell back off the bed. He looked at me with shock. I grabed my stuff and left. I would like to say the rest of the nigt got better but i wasnt so luky. After I left the hotel, it was still late night so I went to a restrant and orderd french toast and coffee, ( it was all realy gross). As i sat there i figured i could try reading the book again. Then a group of drunk pople show up. After a while they starded bugging me for reading the book of mormon while dirinking coffee and smokeing. The cook told me that i hade to leave becouse i wasnt welcome enymore even though i payd for my meal. This lady sat down and offerd my to go to her house till my bus got there. Of cours i said yes. While at her house they puledl out a bag of pot, but it looked difrent then ive ever seen. it had chunks of white stuff. They offerd me the pipe, i said yes and they sharerd they rest of it with me Everyone starded leaveing or dozing off. As the early mornning came (530-600) I headed over to the bus treminal I starded feeling funny. When the bus came I went to my seet. I realy started getting worried becouse i didnt fell like this last time I smoked pot, and there were thing appering that I knew wernt actully there (my dead brother). Becoming realy scard I thought to pray. It took me a while but I did. I asked for god to take a way what ever it was that was going on with me, I baged him. All of a sudden every thing stopped. the feelings the images all just stoped. I felt as if god was there comforting me and giving me a hug. I said mythanks to him and fell asleep. The rest off my bus ride was much better. I cant help but think all this would have happend a little difrrent if i didnt have the urge to read that book when i did.

All I could think was what will happen next time i try to read the book of mormon

and why did satan try so hard not to let me read your book.

[Gwen]

todayisagooddayihope,

wow, thank you for sharing. yes that is a pearl. i would say that i hope it is only the beginning of your pearl. pearls grow one layer at a time and it takes many layers to get a beautiful and valuable one.

it sounds as though you are very much aware of the Lord's looking out for you. that you have felt the promptings of the holy ghost. and yes it sounds like satan is trying to keep you from reading the Book of Mormon. satan has one plan and one plan only, that is to disrupt the plan of God and bring us away from him. if stopping you from reading the Book of Mormon will keep one more person from God then that is what he will do. Don't let him suceed. Pray for the holy ghost and finish what you started. seek out the missionaries in your area, they will help you. and let me reassure you that you are not alone, anytime i have something planned that will be good for me or my family and will bring us together spiritualy everything goes wrong. satan is at every corner, but through those trials i am reminded that God is stronger than all those things and that if i press forward diligantly he will provide. it becomes more special because of it.

Good luck and God bless you on your journey in the gospel.

ALmom