mnn727 Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 So what do you tell a long term member, that has in the past been very active and what I would consider rock solid, that is now becoming less active and says the only reason is that he is having doubts about the existence of God. He still shows up at Church a couple times a month, maintains Temple worthiness standards (but doesn't attend the Temple), allows the HT (me) in, There is no sin involved (at least that we are aware of), nothing in the Churches history or teaching that bugs him, just a falling away from a belief in the existence of God. He says that the spiritual experiences he believes he had, could have been just wishful thinking. I'm kind of at a loss as how to help as this persons Home Teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skalenfehl Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 He has obviously ceased personal study (Book of Mormon) and personal prayer. If I were his hometeacher I would be sensitive to his needs, be an active friend in his life, all the while engaged in much fasting and praying for his welfare. This will require sacrifice on your part. Follow the examples, which are many, of the Nephite and Lamanite Saints. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Love him no matter what, continue to be his friend, and pray for him. As his home teacher it's within your authority to continue to encourage him in your visits to do family and personal scripture study and prayer. Even if my husband can't do any other message, he asks about or suggests those things. Good luck. I admire your concern and care beyond your monthly visit. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pntkl Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 He says that the spiritual experiences he believes he had, could have been just wishful thinking.I'm kind of at a loss as how to help as this persons Home Teacher.Someone doubting God is likewise doubting their fellow man's belief in God. You can't be forceful, in your approach. Let your faith be a guide. Show this man charity, which is love. Take an active interest, beyond a monthly Home Teaching visit. Being a friend in service to someone that is going through a 'dark night' as some like to call it can be more valuable than if you were to read a thousand Scriptures.Love,T.J. Wood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Very hard situation. Has he been through some especially difficult trials? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnn727 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) Very hard situation. Has he been through some especially difficult trials?Nothing that he has mentioned.He has obviously ceased personal study (Book of Mormon) and personal prayer.. He admits his scripture study is not daily, but not stopped completely, but says his prayers have actually increased, but he's not getting any answers. I asked him if he was looking for certain answers and he says he would be happy with yes/no/maybe or even 'try again later' (his words).It seems to me like he really wants to believe, but just doesn't know how to any more. I continue to recommend the basics (prayer, scripture, FHE, Church). He says he knows the basics are important in belief (he's taught Gospel Principles in the past in 2 different Wards), but that to him the basics starts with the assumtion that there is a God, and he's just no longer able to accept that assumption. Edited April 30, 2012 by mnn727 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Nothing that he has mentioned. He admits his scripture study is not daily, but not stopped completely, but says his prayers have actually increased, but he's not getting any answers. I asked him if he was looking for certain answers and he says he would be happy with yes/no/maybe or even 'try again later' (his words).It seems to me like he really wants to believe, but just doesn't know how to any more. I continue to recommend the basics (prayer, scripture, FHE, Church). He says he knows the basics are important in belief (he's taught Gospel Principles in the past in 2 different Wards), but that to him the basics starts with the assumtion that there is a God, and he's just no longer able to accept that assumption.If he is doubting the existence of God, then what kind of answer does he expect? I would worry that he is getting an answer or that he won't recognize an answer. Perhaps that is where you can start? Help him recognize the Spirit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skalenfehl Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 There have been times in my life where there was emptiness and I know it was because Jesus Christ wasn't there. May I recommend that he assess his life of any sins that would prevent him from worthily partaking of the sacrament? It is this weekly ordinance that ensures daily communion with the Comforter and Its guidance, "that [he] may have the Spirit to be with [him]. Becoming worthy is one of the first steps as is beginning a serious study of the Book of Mormon. As for answers to his prayer, it truly is a wrestle with the Lord. I spent over three hours in prayer to receive a specific answer recently. It begins with a sincere desire and a real commitment. The gospel truly is a plan of happiness, which is what he is seeking. I also believe it is very important to "remember" what the Lord has done for us since the days of Adam. If we remember all the work he has done for us and in our lives individually, by taking stock of our blessings, we begin to realize that we have not truly been left alone. We just need to adjust our bearings. Moroni teaches us this in his final chapters. All my best to you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEthePrimate Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 He has obviously ceased personal study (Book of Mormon) and personal prayer.Baloney. I personally know people who continue studying the scriptures, including the BoM, after they go inactive or leave the Church. Studying something =/= agreeing with it. In fact, one fellow I know still reads the lesson manuals, follows Church news, and the Conference Reports, which is better than probably 90% of the people who attend meetings. He doesn't agree with everything, but he likes to keep up-to-date on what's going on, especially because members of his family are still active.My advice for dealing with someone who has doubts about the Church is to not assume that they are doing anything wrong (like sinning, or whatever), but to just be Christlike and be their friends. If you suddenly stop associating with them because they no longer believe, that will only serve as evidence to them that there is something wrong with the Church. People can, and do, leave the Church because of honest disagreements about doctrine, or because they are troubled about events in LDS history. Take their questions seriously, and if you don't have the answers, admit it, but explain why you remain in the Church even though you don't have all the answers. You can also direct them to people who might be more educated about the questions they have, and see if they can help.Peace,HEP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Help him remember his testimony. Ask him about how he first found his testimony, and what it felt like. Ask him about spiritual experiences he's had along the way. Ask him if he ever felt tranquility, joy and peace while in the temple. Then ask him if he now feels those things away from activity. It may be that he served diligently, but did not feed himself spiritually. He could have burned himself out, because he wasn't feasting on the word, etc. Perhaps encouraging him to also study the scriptures and allow them to penetrate his heart as they once did, so he can feel the peace and joy of God again. That is where he will find his witness of God, and regain his faith. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skalenfehl Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Baloney. I personally know people who continue studying the scriptures, including the BoM, after they go inactive or leave the Church. Studying something =/= agreeing with it. In fact, one fellow I know still reads the lesson manuals, follows Church news, and the Conference Reports, which is better than probably 90% of the people who attend meetings. He doesn't agree with everything, but he likes to keep up-to-date on what's going on, especially because members of his family are still active.My advice for dealing with someone who has doubts about the Church is to not assume that they are doing anything wrong (like sinning, or whatever), but to just be Christlike and be their friends. If you suddenly stop associating with them because they no longer believe, that will only serve as evidence to them that there is something wrong with the Church. People can, and do, leave the Church because of honest disagreements about doctrine, or because they are troubled about events in LDS history. Take their questions seriously, and if you don't have the answers, admit it, but explain why you remain in the Church even though you don't have all the answers. You can also direct them to people who might be more educated about the questions they have, and see if they can help.Peace,HEPI was mistaken. However a serious study of the Book of Mormon does bring a fullness of joy and power, which is promised us of the Savior. I know first hand what my life has been like with and without this power. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timpman Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Consider the Title Page of the BoM: Which is to show unto the remnant of the house of Israel what great things the Lord hath done for their fathers; and that they may know the covenants of the Lord, that they are not cast off forever—And also to the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nationsI think that if someone prayerfully and sincerely reads it as they would a Harry Potter book (devouring it in one or two days), then there would be onomonopias flying and a testimony would be rekindled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEthePrimate Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Consider the Title Page of the BoM: I think that if someone prayerfully and sincerely reads it as they would a Harry Potter book (devouring it in one or two days), then there would be onomonopias flying and a testimony would be rekindled.Dang, what happened to the 'Laugh Out Loud' button?Anyway, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEthePrimate Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 I was mistaken. However a serious study of the Book of Mormon does bring a fullness of joy and power, which is promised us of the Savior. I know first hand what my life has been like with and without this power.People can indeed derive a lot of benefit from studying The Book of Mormon and other scriptures. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 So what do you tell a long term member, that has in the past been very active and what I would consider rock solid, that is now becoming less active and says the only reason is that he is having doubts about the existence of God. He still shows up at Church a couple times a month, maintains Temple worthiness standards (but doesn't attend the Temple), allows the HT (me) in, There is no sin involved (at least that we are aware of), nothing in the Churches history or teaching that bugs him, just a falling away from a belief in the existence of God. He says that the spiritual experiences he believes he had, could have been just wishful thinking.I'm kind of at a loss as how to help as this persons Home Teacher.Be a friend, supportive, and non judgmental. From my experience this is how I got through it.... to quote another post where I talked about it.Taking my own situation I questioned, I had almost 0 faith/trust in god (I won't go into all the details of how I got to that point but know that prior to this point I had a very strong faith/trust in god and there was no major sin). So why did I hold on? I knew I made a covenant to do certain things and though I didn't really trust god anymore I trusted myself. I knew when I made the covenant I believed it (more than believe, I knew) it was a truth for me. Though I was losing confidence in that truth I had nothing to replace it. So my choice was to keep doing what I was doing having faith in myself that it was true at least at some point in my life and keep my covenants as best as I could until either my knowledge of that truth returned or I found something I knew to be a greater truth. ... After years the things I once knew have started to returnThe full post is here http://www.lds.net/forums/marriage-relationship-advice/41166-would-do-more-damage-come-clean-8.html#post631700I also think I had a couple of other good posts (about how someone that was once strong starts to doubt) on pg 7 of that thread. lolI would encourage him to do what I did. Hold onto what you once knew until the knowledge returns or you learn a greater truth. However, one big difference from what you describe in our situations is I didn't question if there was a god but if he really cared about me. I lost my trust in god. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Doubts are one of Satan's tools to distract us. Sometimes we need to doubt our doubts. Is he willing to pray about his doubts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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