Working Mothers...

[Maureen]

There are some women (it has become very many, in fact) who have to work to provide for the needs of their families. To you I say, do the very best you can. I hope that if you are employed full-time you are doing it to ensure that basic needs are met and not simply to indulge in a taste for an elaborate home, fancy cars, and other luxuries. The greatest job that any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging, and rearing her children in righteousness and truth. None other can adequately take her place. (Gordon B. Hinckley)

This is from the Daily Quotes forum, but since it's difficult to discuss stuff there, I've started this thread to discuss it here.

For me, the statement None other can adequately take her place doesn't

work for all women who have given birth. Some women are not natural nurturers, so in some cases other people/family members can more than adequately do a better job.

M.

[prisonchaplain]

If these words are interpreted as general counsel they likely serve well to remind everyone of priorities. If they are taken as universal and exacting truth, without consideration of culture and context, it might be easy to find many exceptions.

[Dravin]

PC, your comment brings to mind a quote by Elder Oaks:

The explanation I gave that man is the same explanation I give to you if you feel you are an exception to what I have said. As a General Authority, I have the responsibility to preach general principles. When I do, I don’t try to define all the exceptions. There are exceptions to some rules. For example, we believe the commandment is not violated by killing pursuant to a lawful order in an armed conflict. But don’t ask me to give an opinion on your exception. I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord.

Link: Dating versus Hanging Out - Ensign June 2006 - ensign

[Guest]

For me, the statement None other can adequately take her place doesn't

work for all women who have given birth. Some women are not natural nurturers, so in some cases other people/family members can more than adequately do a better job.

M.

That may be. But, whether you are a natural nurturer or not, striving to become that nurturer will far surpass somebody else caring for your own child. I think that's the point that is being made. So that, every single woman who bears children may realize that the greatest calling she'll ever have is to be the "mother" of that child... greater than any career or any other worldly achievement.

[Jennarator]

My only big thing is that, well I totally agree with the original quote, but I have always had to work. (Yes to provide the basics, not to get ahead.) But I get judjed all the time. Also, I live in Idaho where people assume that all moms stay home. RS things are planned during the day. I even missed the stake RS meeting cuz they did it Wednesday morning!!

The city itself, plans events and sports during the weekdays in the daytime.

Now I come from San Diego where this rarely happens. People know that some moms have to work.

I am so sick of this happening. My children miss out on me being home and they also have to miss a ton of activities because I can't take them since I work!! I miss things, too. It is so dumb!!

Okay I needed to vent. Thanks! :)

[Maureen]

That may be. But, whether you are a natural nurturer or not, striving to become that nurturer will far surpass somebody else caring for your own child. I think that's the point that is being made. So that, every single woman who bears children may realize that the greatest calling she'll ever have is to be the "mother" of that child... greater than any career or any other worldly achievement.

None other can adequately take her place.

I agree that every mother can strive to be the best they can be, but I think for me the word adequately doesn't seem like the best word to use. If for example, a child looses their mother at a very young age, whoever takes her place I'm sure can do the job even adequately, and possibly exceptionally well. For me, it just seems like a hopeless sentence.

M.

[Guest]

None other can adequately take her place.

I agree that every mother can strive to be the best they can be, but I think for me the word adequately doesn't seem like the best word to use. If for example, a child looses their mother at a very young age, whoever takes her place I'm sure can do the job even adequately, and possibly exceptionally well. For me, it just seems like a hopeless sentence.

M.

Maureen, we may be looking at the word adequately differently. For me, there is the ideal scenario. There will NEVER be something better or even equal than a righteous mother caring for her child - even if she dies. Adequately, to me is something that can replace THAT ideal... and there is none. Anything else - grandmother caring for the child, aunt, etc... can do the job of raising the child but it's not adequate to replace the ideal of a righteous mother.

We see it all the time... an adopted child will always have the desire to find her mother, even if she grows up in a loving home.

But, of course, a child growing up without a mother in a loving home could still have everything the mother can give. But there will always be that bond that is missing. I can't explain it. I just know it is there from friends and family who grew up without a mother. So, I interpret the word adequate as that which can replace that something that is missing.

Edited May 10, 2012 by anatess

[applepansy]

I worked. It wasn't to buy a boat or a bigger house. It was to pay the bills. However, I wish I had made a different decision when I look back at my life and my children's lives. They are now adults. My 31yo son remembers the babysitters, the good and the bad. I truly believe it affected them in ways I can never undo.

We could have done wth less and I could have been home.

Yup... I'm second guessing myself. I made the best decision with the knowledge I had at the time. I just wish I'd had more faith to stay home and be where I was really needed the most. It would have been harder but I think it would have been worth it. Sometimes we need to exercise faith and become "adequate."

Hindsight is always 20-20 until you trip.

Edited May 10, 2012 by applepansy
spelling correction

[Bini]

We see it all the time... an adopted child will always have the desire to find her mother, even if she grows up in a loving home.

Not always.

I was adopted, as was my younger sibling, and neither of us had any desire to seek out our biological parents.

[Guest]

Not always.

I was adopted, as was my younger sibling, and neither of us had any desire to seek out our biological parents.

There goes my theory. Woosh!

[mightynancy]

It's a false dichotomy. A woman can work AND be a great mom. Why does it have to be one or the other?

[Guest]

It's a false dichotomy. A woman can work AND be a great mom. Why does it have to be one or the other?

I don't know where you got the dichotomy from. There was no dichotomy presented in the OP.

[AimeyMalambri]

I agree..

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Working Women

Edited October 1, 2012 by skippy740
Removed quote from political figure/candidate

[Guest ldsashley]

I am a working mother, and I do it to pay the bills. I wouldn't have to if we didn't get ourselves into so much debt before becoming parents, so that debt is the biggest regret of my life. Being a working mother now is the consequence of poor financial choices made earlier. Now, I have to do it in order to meet our financial obligations and have the basics. My biggest hope is that we can pay enough debt off now that I won't have to be full time when baby #2 comes, and we can continue to make progress so maybe I won't even have to work in the future.

I DO feel judged at church, even though nobody really says anything directly to me. I do hear comments made in general like "women who work obviously care more about money than their own children's eternal salvation"

It also REALLY bothers me when any mother (working or staying at home) makes themselves out to be some kind of martyr, like they have it sooooo hard and everyone else has it easy. Everyone's lives have challenges and blessings, and if we would just look a little deeper, we'd find we have more in common than different. Just my 2 cents!!

[classylady]

I never felt judged when I had to work outside of the home. I always felt supported no matter if I was a stay-at-home mom or when I had to work outside of the home. I'm just grateful I live in a day and age where I have the option of choosing either one.

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