Why tell the Bishop?

[Solstjerne76]

I became active in church again 3 years ago. But i have never talked to the bishop about all my wrongs while i lived of the world.

I have only been in his office once to talk about the 10% thing (dont know the word in English, menaing how to write it, only how to say it)

I feel God has forgiven me for all my wrongs, I feel the Holy Ghost daily, i get inspiratitions, my prayers are answered and I am truly blessed.

So why should a person who has been away from church for a while confess their sins to the bishop?

Then everyone should confess their sins every week to the bishop since we all sin in one way or the other..Where do a person draw the line to put it like that?

[applepansy]

The 10% thing is spelled tithing.

God has already forgiven you of your sins prior to baptism. At baptism you were washed clean and you get to start over. If you've been inactive for awhile and done things you knew were wrong its not like a new convert.

You do not need to be in the bishop's office every week confessing all the little sins they don't need help to overcome. If everyone did that our Bishop's would be living in their offices and never see their families. If I am unkind to my husband over something trivial I don't need to see the Bishop to repent. If I'm so upset at my husband I go kiss another man, then YUP! I need to go talk to my Bishop.

The serious sins, or when we feel we need help repenting and being forgiven, are when we go see the Bishop. The serious sins are anything that would keep you from attending the temple for the most part. Anything that weighs heavily on your mind even after you stop might be another reason to see the Bishop.

Several years ago I was having nausea problems related to my health issues and medications and I was still working. I wasn't always at home where I could make ginger tea. Its really hard to steep a cup of tea in a moving car. So I'd stop and buy a cold Green Tea or if that was unavailable whatever tea was available. I knew I wasn't drinking it because I enjoyed it but because I was nauseous and if I didn't I'd be on the side of the road throwing up. But it started to bother me. Its probably something I could have done on my own, but I went to talk to the Bishop about it. The tea was medicinal not recreational therefore it wasn't considered a violation of the WoW. That helped me to hear, but then the Bishop told me to go home and pray about it again and then come see him the next week. I did and I felt better about it.

The other rule of thumb is if something is bothering you enough that you ask on an internet forum then you should go talk to your Bishop and find the peace you''re seeking.

Best Wishes.

Edited August 2, 2012 by applepansy

[RipplecutBuddha]

I went through a similar process, but at the same time, I discussed everything that happened during my absence from church activity. My reasoning was like this; At the very least the Bishop will have some background on you he'd otherwise lack. This means he'll be better equipped to help you remain active and continue to grow in faith. If the issues of your past are resolved, they're resolved, and the bishop will be happy to leave them there. However, there are some things he ought to know about, especially if it involves an addiction of some kind. This is the most common thing that requires ongoing support regardless of whether it's drugs, acohol, pornography, etc. Addictions are tough to beat, let alone tough to beat by yourself. The bishop can tell you when local addiciton recovery meetings are held, if necessary.

The truth is that the Bishop is a judge in Israel and in order to claim the full blessings God wants you to have, the Bishop has to know where you stand. It's not that you need to repent to him, rather you need to report to him of your repentance to God.

Finally it sounds like you're on good solid ground again, and congradulations on coming back.

[Misshalfway]

My understanding is that a person needs to talk to the bishop about the types of sins that require priesthood authority to clear. (serious sexual transgressions is the most obvious.) We don't need to confess all of our sins to a bishop each week. Unless, of course, our weekly sins are serious in nature.

When I conceptualize the repentance process, I've learned to do so with a solid grounding in personal responsibility, an embracing of agency, and an evaluation of my own set of desires for spiritual growth. If I have desire to be clean, and then to progress in spiritual refinements, I'll seek out the paths that help me do that. Seeing the bishop is sometimes part of that. It's not really about "needing" the bishop as a person. It's about his priesthood office and how we need the confession/restitution piece to transform our hearts into something more fit for the kingdom and for the companionship of the holy spirit.

[Misshalfway]

My understanding is that a person needs to talk to the bishop about the types of sins that require priesthood authority to clear. (serious sexual transgressions is the most obvious.) We don't need to confess all of our sins to a bishop each week. Unless, of course, our weekly sins are serious in nature.

When I conceptualize the repentance process, I've learned to do so with a solid grounding in personal responsibility, an embracing of agency, and an evaluation of my own set of desires for spiritual growth. If I have desire to be clean, and then to progress in spiritual refinements, I'll seek out the paths that help me do that. Seeing the bishop is sometimes part of that. It's not really about "needing" the bishop as a person. This kind of growth really isn't about the bishop wants, desires, opinions at all, although counsel can be helpfully compelling sometimes. It's about his priesthood office and how we need the confession/restitution piece to transform our hearts into something more fit for the kingdom and for the companionship of the holy spirit.

[Traveler]

I became active in church again 3 years ago. But i have never talked to the bishop about all my wrongs while i lived of the world.

I have only been in his office once to talk about the 10% thing (dont know the word in English, menaing how to write it, only how to say it)

I feel God has forgiven me for all my wrongs, I feel the Holy Ghost daily, i get inspiratitions, my prayers are answered and I am truly blessed.

So why should a person who has been away from church for a while confess their sins to the bishop?

Then everyone should confess their sins every week to the bishop since we all sin in one way or the other..Where do a person draw the line to put it like that?

It may not be necessary to make an appointment to confess everything. However, in the course of obtaining a temple recommend or for a calling you may be "asked" give an account or counsel with the bishop.

There are two things I believe will help understand what is best. First - the bishop is there to assist you. He is your friend and someone the L-rd has given responsibility to help you - he is not there to determine if you should be forgiven or not.

The second thing relates to something that Joseph Smith said. It was something like - if a person is truly repentant of their sins they will not hide them but openly confess them. This does not mean that you will go around telling everybody everything you have ever done wrong. It does mean that you are honest in both recognizing the mistakes and sins you were involved with and do not hide what you did. Sometime you can be a great help to others because you can understand struggles they are having - sometime with a simple - "I understand what you are going through - I struggled with that as well during my inactivity."

You can be and should be a great asset to the L-rd because you now can assist others that face things you have conquered. There is no shame in helping other because you stumbled once where they struggle (a great coach understands not just what to do but those things which are a distraction - we call this experience) in fact you have opportunity to be a great friend that understands to many in your ward. Much more that someone that may not have insights that you have obtained. If the bishop understands this he may be able to use you with other struggling as you once did.

The Traveler

[bytor2112]

Why? Because that is what the Lord requires us to do. My best friend was inactive for 15 years, he was an endowed member of the church and married in the Temple. During his absence from the church he lived completely outside the gospel and committed adultery.....multiple times and ultimately divorced. He is now excommunicated and working toward re-baptism.

Better to speak with Bishop and make sure all is well.....

[Vort]

I became active in church again 3 years ago. But i have never talked to the bishop about all my wrongs while i lived of the world.

I have only been in his office once to talk about the 10% thing (dont know the word in English, menaing how to write it, only how to say it)

I feel God has forgiven me for all my wrongs, I feel the Holy Ghost daily, i get inspiratitions, my prayers are answered and I am truly blessed.

So why should a person who has been away from church for a while confess their sins to the bishop?

Then everyone should confess their sins every week to the bishop since we all sin in one way or the other..Where do a person draw the line to put it like that?

I think you may be misunderstanding the idea of "confessing to the bishop". In Roman Catholicism, from what I understand, members are encouraged or even required to confess their sins to a priest, who then assigns them a penance and grants absolution. This is not at all what is done in the LDS religion.

Your sins are between you and God, and only God can grant forgiveness. For all the sins you commit each day, you go before God, lay out your life, your efforts, and your shortcomings, and ask for his grace and forgiveness. Then you try to do better next time. That is the pattern.

Why do you talk to the bishop? You talk to the bishop in either of two cases:

1. You want to. You want the bishop to help you out with a particularly difficult situation.

2. You have committed a transgression that potentially puts in question your membership status in the Church. These are typically "big" transgressions, such as criminal activity, abuse, sexual transgression, and the like.

There is not always a bright line between these two categories. There is also not always a bright line demarcating whether you "should" talk to your bishop or if you "don't have to". As a rule, when in doubt, talk it out.

[Misshalfway]

I think you may be misunderstanding the idea of "confessing to the bishop". In Roman Catholicism, from what I understand, members are encouraged or even required to confess their sins to a priest, who then assigns them a penance and grants absolution. This is not at all what is done in the LDS religion.

Your sins are between you and God, and only God can grant forgiveness. For all the sins you commit each day, you go before God, lay out your life, your efforts, and your shortcomings, and ask for his grace and forgiveness. Then you try to do better next time. That is the pattern.

Why do you talk to the bishop? You talk to the bishop in either of two cases:

1. You want to. You want the bishop to help you out with a particularly difficult situation.

2. You have committed a transgression that potentially puts in question your membership status in the Church. These are typically "big" transgressions, such as criminal activity, abuse, sexual transgression, and the like.

There is not always a bright line between these two categories. There is also not always a bright line demarcating whether you "should" talk to your bishop or if you "don't have to". As a rule, when in doubt, talk it out.

Wow. You are smart...AND you write bumper stickers.

When in doubt, talk it out. It's catchy!

[Vort]

Wow. You are smart...AND you write bumper stickers.

When in doubt, talk it out. It's catchy!

And that is why I pull in The Big Bucks.

Now please excuse me while I catch the bus into work...

[Solstjerne76]

The other rule of thumb is if something is bothering you enough that you ask on an internet forum then you should go talk to your Bishop and find the peace you''re seeking.

Best Wishes.

Nah. i just trying to understand all the "rules" and what you should and shouldn't do:) I am a curious person. I was born and raised in church but from I became inactive at the age of 18 and came back at the age of 33 made me realize that I never really understood everything, so that is why I am asking.

[Solstjerne76]

I just want to thank you all for answering me:) I have only been in the temple once in my life at the age of 17 to do baptism. I even dont have my patriarchal blessing yet.

I am preparing myself for the patriarchal blessing and to go to the temple to do the full work:) So I thought that prior to this I need to talk to the bishop anyway:)

But i was curious in genereal as well. I have few friends now in church who was inactive like me and they all got different "punishement" and some hasnt got one at all. Some has talked to the bishop and some hasn't.. And over the years I have also heard of two people committing the same sin and one "got away with it" by the bishop (in lack of better word) and the other one lost its membership??

So I get confused and therefore asking here in general. Thank you again everyone.

[NightSG]

The tea was medicinal not recreational therefore it wasn't considered a violation of the WoW.

Hmm...my bishop didn't buy my claims that I was treating my nicotine withdrawal symptoms with cigarettes.

IMO, if you feel the need to ask anyone, you should be able to ask your bishop...especially more easily than a bunch of strangers on a message board.

[NightSG]

And over the years I have also heard of two people committing the same sin and one "got away with it" by the bishop (in lack of better word) and the other one lost its membership??

AFAIK, except for something like murder or child molestation, there would be a lot of factors that might be considered in determining action to be taken. Time elapsed between offense and confession without a relapse would be one, as well as attitude at confession. For example, a person who committed adultery years ago, but hasn't relapsed and ultimately confesses voluntarily with obvious penitence would likely be treated much less harshly than someone caught in the act yesterday who tries to blame it on their spouse for not doing something they want.

What I'm not sure of is serious sins committed during an excommunication; would they need to be confessed before rebaptism? If not normally, then could this be made a condition when the excommunication is initiated? Could the time of the excommunication be set to, say, one year after the last occurrence of a serious sin including any committed while excommunicated?

[olytitan]

I would set up an appointment with the Bishop and just ask. The fact that you are wondering, maybe is a hint that you are humble enough and want to do what is right. Tell him there are things you did in the past while you weren't active, and ask if they are something that you still need to deal with, even though you are able to feel the spirit.

Repentance equal change. Since you've already changed so much, maybe nothing to worry about? I think some of the reasons for telling the bishop is to have someone else to be accountable to, who can give advice, and also help you through the struggles as someone tries to make changes to bad habits.