Anglealucy Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 My friend wants me o go to a club and dance we used to do this as a girl night out before I was Mormon can I still go if I don't drink or do you think it would not be wise.. How do I explan to her if it's not wise to because I'm afraid she will be upset Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 My friend wants me o go to a club and dance we used to do this as a girl night out before I was Mormon can I still go if I don't drink or do you think it would not be wise.. How do I explan to her if it's not wise to because I'm afraid she will be upsetIf you refrain from anything that violates the Word of Wisdom and Law of Chastity, I see no reason why single LDS cannot enjoy themselves at a club! I say, go and have fun, and meet some new people :] I remember those days, I had a blast. There's a time and place for everything, if you're single and wanting to have a good time with some friends - go for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anglealucy Posted August 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 What if you are married but husband is not lds and says its ok to go is it still ok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 I moved this thread to advice as it was in the "how to do" questions that pertain to how to do things on lds.net. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 What if you are married but husband is not lds and says its ok to go is it still okReally, it's a personal decision between you and your husband. If you both feel that going to a club without each other and with friends is fine - then fine. If your husband gives you the "green light" that it's okay to go but you feel it's not - then don't go. A good friend or group of friends will understand your decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alucarD1975 Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 What if you are married but husband is not lds and says its ok to go is it still okif your husband is cool with it why would it be an issue?order a diet coke and dance your butt off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scatyb Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 maybe just not touching? I guess for me as a husband, jealousy rears it's ugly head and I would think that going to a place where physical contact can lead to temptation would be a bad idea. I wouldn't want my wife to go, at least without me. Of course I couldn't "put my foot down" or command, but I would sure hope she wouldn't even want to place herself in such a situation or go dancing without me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alucarD1975 Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 maybe just not touching? I guess for me as a husband, jealousy rears it's ugly head and I would think that going to a place where physical contact can lead to temptation would be a bad idea. I wouldn't want my wife to go, at least without me. Of course I couldn't "put my foot down" or command, but I would sure hope she wouldn't even want to place herself in such a situation or go dancing without me.wow got a little jealous streak? if she wants to grind on some guy or meet other guys or cheat she is going to do it night club or no.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martain Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) The fact that your asking whether or not it's ok indicates to me that you can see reasons why it might not be. You want to know because if it's not ok, you don't want to go and if it is ok, you don't want to feel guilty doing it right?If I were in your shoes I'd want to know what the scriptures and the prophets say on the subject and what the Church teaches as this would be my compass in making such decisions. If you're like me in such thinking, then I would refer you to the For The Strength of Youth guidelines under the 'Music and Dancing' section which reads:Music is an important and powerful part of life. It can be an influence for good that helps you draw closer to Heavenly Father. However, it can also be used for wicked purposes. Unworthy music may seem harmless, but it can have evil effects on your mind and spirit.Choose carefully the music you listen to. Pay attention to how you feel when you are listening. Don’t listen to music that drives away the Spirit, encourages immorality, glorifies violence, uses foul or offensive language, or promotes Satanism or other evil practices.Dancing can be fun and can provide an opportunity to meet new people. However, it too can be misused. When dancing, avoid full body contact with your partner. Do not use positions or moves that are suggestive of sexual behavior. Plan and attend dances where dress, grooming, lighting, lyrics, and music contribute to a wholesome atmosphere where the Spirit of the Lord may be present.If based on these guidelines the club you're considering going to does not meet the cut, then you would be wise not to go. Proverbs 22:3 A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.Yet how to tell a friend without giving offense? Sometimes offense is unavoidable but I don't think this would be the case. Simply have a copy of the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet and have her read that section. Then say that these are the guidelines you strive to be obedient to. She'll recognize that it isn't her you're objecting to but the club which should diffuse any feelings of offense.=) my thoughts at least. Edited August 19, 2012 by Martain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martain Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 if your husband is cool with it why would it be an issue?You need only replace the 'going to a club' with 'drinking alcohol', 'smoking', 'having a threesome' to see why 'if your husband is cool with it' would not be a good moral guideline to determine whether there would be an issue or not.Don't you agree that it's not so much what her husband is or isn't ok with as it's about following prophetic counsel and whether a thing is right or wrong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 You need only replace the 'going to a club' with 'drinking alcohol', 'smoking', 'having a threesome' to see why 'if your husband is cool with it' would not be a good moral guideline to determine whether there would be an issue or not.Don't you agree that it's not so much what her husband is or isn't ok with as it's about following prophetic counsel and whether a thing is right or wrong?Hmm... I didn't know that Thou Shalt Not Go To a Club was a commandment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 What do you do in a club? I am not sure what a married person going solo with friends would do there and be living gospel standards. Maybe my idea of clubs is wrong. Dancing with strangers trying to pick you up, drinking, loud talking over loud music, watching dancers. hmmm what else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 Hmm... I didn't know that Thou Shalt Not Go To a Club was a commandment.Somehow, you are completely missing the point. Martain spelled it out clearly enough, I thought, so I'm not sure how to make it any clearer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) What do you do in a club? I am not sure what a married person going solo with friends would do there and be living gospel standards. Maybe my idea of clubs is wrong. Dancing with strangers trying to pick you up, drinking, loud talking over loud music, watching dancers. hmmm what else?That's not all clubs. There are tons of decent clubs. And yes, that includes Miami. The Club Capital of the USA. Lots of clubs in Miami is touristy - just a group of people having a fun touristy time enjoying each other's company with music and dancing. No different really than a bunch of people meeting up at the restaurant except there's more to do than just eat. Edited August 13, 2012 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annewandering Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 I cant figure out what the attraction is? I understand singles going there although it doesnt seem like a good plan for staying morally clean. Meeting morally clean lds people just seems unlikely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdfxdb Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 I might be completely wrong here, but when groups of girls go to a club together they generally dance together. If their intent is to pick up guys then it is a different type of outing, and not a "girls night out". As a husband I personally would not have a problem with my wife going to a club as a "girls night out" type thing. If my wife is going to the club to dance with other guys, or pick up on guys or whatever then there are other problems with the relationship that have nothing to do with the club.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 Somehow, you are completely missing the point. Martain spelled it out clearly enough, I thought, so I'm not sure how to make it any clearer.His first post was fine.His second post was not as fine. And that is because he believes that going to a club goes against commandments similar to all the WOW stuff he specified. If that's how he interprets it for himself, that's okay. That's not how everybody interprets it for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 I cant figure out what the attraction is? I understand singles going there although it doesnt seem like a good plan for staying morally clean. Meeting morally clean lds people just seems unlikely.Some people like movies, some people like reading, some people like fishing, some people like going to the beach. And some people like myself love love love love love dancing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) His first post was fine.His second post was not as fine. And that is because he believes that going to a club goes against commandments similar to all the WOW stuff he specified. If that's how he interprets it for himself, that's okay. That's not how everybody interprets it for themselves.He may believe that but his quoted post didn't say that. What he said was that 'your husband being okay with it' is not a good moral standard. He pointed out several examples where it clearly fails, such as, word of wisdom violations or adultery. He did not say, "Going to a club is against the commandments" in the post you quoted. Edited August 13, 2012 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alucarD1975 Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 I might be completely wrong here, but when groups of girls go to a club together they generally dance together. If their intent is to pick up guys then it is a different type of outing, and not a "girls night out". As a husband I personally would not have a problem with my wife going to a club as a "girls night out" type thing. If my wife is going to the club to dance with other guys, or pick up on guys or whatever then there are other problems with the relationship that have nothing to do with the club....exactly!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 He may believe that but his quoted post didn't say that. What he said was that 'your husband being okay with it' is not a good moral standard. He pointed out several examples where it clearly fails, such as, word of wisdom violations or adultery. He did not say, "Going to a club is against the commandments" in the post you quoted.Okay, I re-read it and I see what you're saying. Thanks, Dravin! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alucarD1975 Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 You need only replace the 'going to a club' with 'drinking alcohol', 'smoking', 'having a threesome' to see why 'if your husband is cool with it' would not be a good moral guideline to determine whether there would be an issue or not.Don't you agree that it's not so much what her husband is or isn't ok with as it's about following prophetic counsel and whether a thing is right or wrong?your mistake is that you are drawing a comparison between something that is innocent and harmless "going out wiht your girl friends dancing" and things that are clearly out of bounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 I might be completely wrong here, but when groups of girls go to a club together they generally dance together. If their intent is to pick up guys then it is a different type of outing, and not a "girls night out". As a husband I personally would not have a problem with my wife going to a club as a "girls night out" type thing. If my wife is going to the club to dance with other guys, or pick up on guys or whatever then there are other problems with the relationship that have nothing to do with the club.... I've gone out with the girls and yes some were married. We've gone to a casino to dance. The band was amazing. And FYI, we danced with each other. It was a blast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted August 13, 2012 Report Share Posted August 13, 2012 your mistake is that you are drawing a comparison between something that is innocent and harmless "going out wiht your girl friends dancing" and things that are clearly out of bounds.Wrong. He is saying that the moral guideline of "is it okay with your spouse" fails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted August 14, 2012 Report Share Posted August 14, 2012 I was wondering when this topic would pick up. Ladies! Anyone up for a girls night of dancing and karaoke!? Anatess, I know you're in. Let's tear up the joint! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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