Frustration

[applepansy]

Because the church doesn't agree with the way my parents live. Not me. My parents. So they say I can't be baptized until I move out.

Are your parents FLDS? I only ask because it would explain why the church would expect you to move out. If your parents are living polygamy or are sympathetic to the concept then that could cause conflict in your faith.

Edited September 4, 2012 by applepansy

[skippy740]

Article of Faith 2:

We believe that man will be punished for their own sins and not for Adam's [or anyone else's] transgression.

[SportManiac_1]

Yeah. There's a lot of stuff you people don't even know about. (I'm not calling you ignorant. Who would research something like that?)

[SportManiac_1]

My parents aren't FLDS but they are polygamists

[skippy740]

"You people"?

[Guest]

And yet you are the one representing yourself one way, and then making cryptic changes to your story as you see fit.

[SportManiac_1]

Well I consider myself Mormon. I go to church every week. I've read the BoM. I love conference.

[Guest]

Okay, in the case that what you're telling us is accurate, I'm going to switch gears.

If you are living in a polygamist situation and your LDS leaders are telling you to get out, please do so. I don't know a great deal about polygamist communities, but I do know that they are not a fair or healthy situation for young men. Find a job, find an apartment with some LDS guys (there are usually listings at LDS Institutes of religion), and get on with your life. Rehabilitate yourself from your upbringing, and then follow the Spirit and build your life.

If any girl knows you are living in a polygamist household and she's in her right mind, she will run off.

If she knows you're in a polygamist household and you want 12 kids, she'll run off scared.

You need to focus on you, break away from where you are, and start living as an LDS man with monogamous intentions if you want any worthy LDS girl to look at you as any sort of marriage prospect. Good luck.

[applepansy]

Yeah. There's a lot of stuff you people don't even know about. (I'm not calling you ignorant. Who would research something like that?)

Of course not. You haven't told us all about your life so how could we possibly know.

My aunt and uncle were excommunicated for embracing polygamy. This is the aunt with 11 children. Several of their children were excommunicated too. This all happened more than 20 years ago.

Today... my aunt and uncle have been rebaptized. But the damage to their children has been irreversible. One of my cousins has 22 children and 4 of his 5 wives decided they didn't want to live polygamy anymore and left. He is struggling to support his children and has turned to alcohol to numb the pain. His brother won't have anything to do with organized religion. He married into the Allred family of polygamists and found out they actually issue "callings" to people to commit crimes. Then he found out his daughters were being sexually abused. He had to leave the state in fear of his life and hasn't seen his children in years. The next youngest brother refused to live polygamy for a long time but now he's deeply involved and won't talk to his parents because they were rebaptized. The girls...well some of their husbands have other wives but all of them are working to support their children because their husband's cannot support everyone.

Polygamy is a selfish concept. There are many many victims and most of them are children. Some of the victimization comes in the crazy ideas they are taught, such as every family should have 12 children or they are selfish.

I completely understand why the church won't let you be baptized until you move out of your parents home. You need to forsake that lifestyle completely before you can become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I wish you all the best in your journey through this life. I hope you'll be able to forsake some of the things you've been taught and find the peace and happiness the gospel brings.

[applepansy]

Well I consider myself Mormon. I go to church every week. I've read the BoM. I love conference.

That's all great. But you're not a member until you've been baptized.

[SportManiac_1]

Okay, in the case that what you're telling us is accurate, I'm going to switch gears.

If you are living in a polygamist situation and your LDS leaders are telling you to get out, please do so. I don't know a great deal about polygamist communities, but I do know that they are not a fair or healthy situation for young men. Find a job, find an apartment with some LDS guys (there are usually listings at LDS Institutes of religion), and get on with your life. Rehabilitate yourself from your upbringing, and then follow the Spirit and build your life.

If any girl knows you are living in a polygamist household and she's in her right mind, she will run off.

If she knows you're in a polygamist household and you want 12 kids, she'll run off scared.

You need to focus on you, break away from where you are, and start living as an LDS man with monogamous intentions if you want any worthy LDS girl to look at you as any sort of marriage prospect. Good luck.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with my family/household. I've got brothers and sisters who are members. 3 served missions. 1 serving. My parents love conference and the BoM. My dad goes to church every week.

And as a side note.. A few of my brothers and sisters didn't have to move out. They changed it a year or 2 ago.

[applepansy]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with my family/household. I've got brothers and sisters who are members. 3 served missions. 1 serving. My parents love conference and the BoM. My dad goes to church every week.

And as a side note.. A few of my brothers and sisters didn't have to move out. They changed it a year or 2 ago.

The rule was changed with good reason.

Once of my cousins serviced a mission in the Southern States. His parents would write to him and tell him who he could teach and who he couldn't teach. Most of which was against what the Church teaches. Also, when someone would ask if the church still practiced polygamy the young missionary whose parents were living polygamy would often answer yes, when if fact, the Church does not endorse the practice of polygamy.

[Guest]

My advice to you is to prayerfully read the second chapter of the book of Jacob.

Edited September 4, 2012 by Eowyn
forgot chapter

[skippy740]

It could also be that the faithful LDS congregations are great "recruiting" ground to find a mate and marry into the polygamous family. This is probably an additional safeguard to help protect others and not use church membership as an endorsement of the person's lifestyle.

[SportManiac_1]

Some of these are the dumbest things I've ever heard.

I thought you had to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit to be baptized. Not a broken heart, contrite spirit, and your own place to live. Everybody in our ward says they love us. Some have even said it in sacrament meeting. Whenever somebody is moving us boys are there. My dad runs the food pantry in our city. And no we are not recruiting people. If we really wanted to, we could go to Colorado City (a lot of them are related to us). Heck. Our stake president set apart my oldest brother for his mission. And moving away from this family would hurt rather than help my desire to get baptized. The family is one of the central teachings in the church and now they want to get me away from mine? Everybody being a firm believer in Christ and the BoM

[applepansy]

It could also be that the faithful LDS congregations are great "recruiting" ground to find a mate and marry into the polygamous family. This is probably an additional safeguard to help protect others and not use church membership as an endorsement of the person's lifestyle.

Yes! That was another way my Aunt's family was used.

[skippy740]

Some of these are the dumbest things I've ever heard.

I thought you had to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit to be baptized. Not a broken heart, contrite spirit, and your own place to live

Um... not since the days of the 1830's or so.

Today, it takes:

- Faith

- Repentance, including a broken heart & a contrite spirit

- Commitment to live the Word of Wisdom

- Commitment to pay tithes

- Commitment to live the law of Chastity - including abstaining from masturbation, co-habitation and polygamous relationships.

- Support the 4-fold mission of the church

And for a young man:

- Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood

Over time, the requirements to become a member of the church continue to become more stringent.

In addition, the criteria to be worthy for missionary service is also becoming more stringent than it has been in recent years.

I'm not surprised.

[estradling75]

Some of these are the dumbest things I've ever heard.

I thought you had to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit to be baptized.

+1 to what Skippy said... Plus even by this standard you presented you do not make it just from what you have posted... Would someone with a broken heart, and contrite spirit go off and challenge what the Lords' anointed say on what it takes to be baptism? Or would they humble themselves to the challenge and to everything in their power to jump through every hoop presented knowing that the Lord would bless them for it.

Simple fact you are being tested on just how willing you are to obey the Lord's command as given through is servants. And you are pretty much saying yes I want it, but I want it done my way, the way I think is best. And that has never passed as the proper mindset for being baptized

[SportManiac_1]

Well this post isn't about baptism. It's about girls not wanting big families

[Guest]

I don't know about you but I don't need 12 brothers and sisters to have a big family. I have a ginormous family. I have so many cousins just in the USA - they cover 22 states. And I have so many more cousins in the Philippines - some of them even need visas...

[skippy740]

No... this post is about exposing the possible brain-washing that you've been indoctrinated in over your entire life. That may not have been your intention for this thread, but that's what it really is about.

And how that indoctrination is going to prevent you from joining the church and finding a worthy LDS sister to have your 85 kids with.

[estradling75]

But it is... You are pointing the finger at generic girls not wanting big families... But alot of that is going to be based on the quality of her husband. Is he a good provider, does he do what is required even if it hard for him personally and require him to sacrifice, does he respect women, in general and the one he marries in particular? And based on what you have posted here... You are easy to be seen as failing in all those areas.

And no woman with any sense of self respect is going to come to you and say... Let me be your brood mare. Let me be abused by you and suffer because you are going to put your needs and desires first.

You becoming a good, worthy, man is the very first step you must take before you can even begin to look for a woman in general, and finding that might be willing to have a large family with you.

[EarlJibbs]

I have to say that this has been a crazy ride! I read the first 2 pages thinking that I was ready to post something. Then I get to the last page and BAM! I had to read it all, what a rollercoaster! So here is what I have to say.

NO WHERE has it been stated on how large your family should be. Actually recently in conferences (that as you stated you "love"), it has been said that how many children one has or doesnt have is up to them. It actually states that in the handbook also, and that others are not to judge either way. So anyone calling me selfish for only having 4 children needs to evaluate their own pride.

There are a lot of guidelines and commandments that if followed will lead us to heaven. How many children you have is not one of them. There are a lot of decisions, beleive it or not, that are up to us. And this has been clarified as one of those deicisions. You can state that you are having a hard time finding a wife that wants a gaggle of children, but saying that those that do not are simply selfish is a judgement that frankly you are not rightfully designated to make my friend.

Best of luck.

Edited September 4, 2012 by EarlJibbs

[SportManiac_1]

Lol I haven't been indoctrinated to believe anything I don't want to. And just because a guy wants a large family and for his wife to stay home and raise the kids while he works doesn't mean he is an unworthy, disrespectful, male supremacist. It just means he wants his family to be the way he thinks it should be. And he was just asking why there are no girls who think the same way

[Bini]

Pregnancies take a physical toll on a woman's body. Sometimes, a woman has no choice in the matter due to health risks, and will only be able to bare one or two children. Financial stability is, of course, another important factor to consider. I never wanted a big family. Still don't. The most children I could ever see myself with is about three, and that's max limit. We already have one baby, and in a year or so we'll focus on number two. But in the ballpark of 5 or more kiddos - no way - not for me (and thankfully not for hubby either!).