Temple Marriage?

[Hyena]

What is a temple marriage? How does it differ from a regular wedding? Or rather, do Mormons have more than one type of marriage? I was reading how it seems to be the hope of most to be married in the temple. It sounded like there is some advantage in the afterlife for this? Is it related to sealing? Or is that something completely separated to be "sealed" to someone else? What is involved in a temple marriage that you wouldn't have in a normal wedding? If the wedding is held in a temple, are guests allowed to the ceremony? How if you must be Temple worthy to enter an LDS temple? Finally what are the requirements of being temple Married? Must your partner also be a Mormon? If so, do both have to be Temple Worthy or just temple recommend? If Mormons do not drink alcohol, what is served at the wedding reception? Is there an approval process? How does one get approval for a Temple Marriage?

[estradling75]

Start with this

Gospel Principles Chapter 38: Eternal Marriage

[Connie]

Here's a good link: Temples

And another: More Information About Temples - MormonTemples.org

Edited November 27, 2012 by Connie

[skippy740]

Hyena,

Your question is more in how do we mix our current culture about marriage with our temple sealing ceremonies.

And typically we don't even try.

Temple sealings are very small in nature. Typically attended by close family of the bride & groom who hold current temple recommends and are worthy to enter in the House of the Lord.

Yes, you and your spouse will not only need to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, but also temple worthy to enter in the temple.

Temple recommends are signed by 3 people: your Bishop, your Stake President and yourself. One should only enter the temple when worthy to do so, even when you hold a current recommend.

Most LDS wedding receptions (generally held at your local ward meetinghouse) have a LOT of sparkling apple cider. The benefits are that the non-members won't give any embarrassing toasts that you'll later regret! :)

[skippy740]

BTW, another frequently asked question comes up on this topic:

"Can't we just get married and get a temple sealing later? This way ALL my friends can be in attendance?"

And all I can say is "yes" and no.

In the UK, all marriages by law must be public. So the Church allows one to be married and be sealed immediately afterwards.

In the USA, we don't have such a law. If one has a civil ceremony, the Church requires the couple to wait one year before being sealed in the temple - regardless of temple worthiness.

This is probably the one area where I personally disagree with church policy & procedure.

Think about it: An LDS couple planning to be married in the temple sends out "reception invitations" to non-members, instead of wedding invitations. It can create an unnecessary negative discussion about LDS sealings... and that "you're not worthy to attend". It would certainly make life easier for everyone if the Church would allow a temple worthy couple to have a civil ceremony and a sealing ceremony in the temple the same day.

It also seems to be an LDS cultural stigma to have a civil ceremony - particularly if you were raised in the Church. It's typically assumed as a sign of pre-marital sexual relations. It's not always the case, but be aware of it as a cultural thing among us LDS.

Edited November 27, 2012 by skippy740

[Hyena]

Hyena,

Your question is more in how do we mix our current culture about marriage with our temple sealing ceremonies.

And typically we don't even try.

Temple sealings are very small in nature. Typically attended by close family of the bride & groom who hold current temple recommends and are worthy to enter in the House of the Lord.

Yes, you and your spouse will not only need to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, but also temple worthy to enter in the temple.

Temple recommends are signed by 3 people: your Bishop, your Stake President and yourself. One should only enter the temple when worthy to do so, even when you hold a current recommend.

Most LDS wedding receptions (generally held at your local ward meetinghouse) have a LOT of sparkling apple cider. The benefits are that the non-members won't give any embarrassing toasts that you'll later regret! :)

This creates a potentially unique problem. You see, my family is almost CERTAINLY to never transition to Mormonism. In fact, my younger brother is becoming quite a well respected and exciting young Baptist minister who is invited to give sermons at many different churches due to his impressive preaching (I call it fire and brimstone from the pulpit). My mother is more reserved but leans towards him whilst my father (who passed away a year ago) was staunchly irish Catholic as is all my family from that side (and until recently, me as well). My other brother and sister.. well they arent particularly aligned with any spiritual institution either by choice or lack of interest.

So given that... I would hope someday to be married within the Temple should I become LDS and meet an LDS woman that would find me worthy of such an honor as matrimony. What this means, however, is that tragically, I would have absolutely no one there for me at our Temple Marriage. In the long run I suppose I wouldnt be too bothered by that, but you can see how this might make for an uncomfortable situation.

But a lot of great links and information given here.. Thanks everyone. I appreciate the warmth and friendliness Ive recieved on these forums. Im seriously considering speaking to a missionary very soon. Perhaps as soon as right after New Years. I dont want to bother anyone during the Holidays when they should be spending the time with their families.

[Hyena]

One thing bothered me greatly in my reading:

“In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;

“And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage];

“And if he does not, he cannot obtain it” (D&C 131:1–3).

That sounds an awful lot like ugly and obese people are totally going to get hosed in the afterlife, pardon my language.

Full disclosure, Im a big guy and not terribly attractive or interesting. So basically, Im going to be looking down a celestial barrel of never achieving the highest level of reward because what are the chances Ill be married any time soon if ever?

So it seems to me that LDS single members get the short end of the stick. This would depress the heck out of me. I wouldnt want to be a member of church where worst case scenario Id be looked down upon for being single and at best openly pitied by fellow members over something I cant help. Plus Id never feel happy realizing Im "different" from all the other members.

Also, from what Im reading, Temple marriage is eternal. I see nothing where it can be undone. So does this mean that divorce is something that is not allowed or performed as far as the Mormon Church is concerned? Once sealed, the sealing is permanent and eternal?

Edited November 28, 2012 by Hyena
More questions.

[annewandering]

A lot of people never marry in this life. They will have a chance later and be sealed by proxy.

Yes there are temple 'divorces'. They are not done lightly and they do not take place just because a person gets a civil divorce. This has to be requested to the First Presidency.

My husband had a cancellation of sealing, which is what it is called.

Hey I know lots of ugly fat people who are happily married! Me for instance. Dont give up yet.

[skippy740]

This creates a potentially unique problem. You see, my family is almost CERTAINLY to never transition to Mormonism. In fact, my younger brother is becoming quite a well respected and exciting young Baptist minister who is invited to give sermons at many different churches due to his impressive preaching (I call it fire and brimstone from the pulpit). My mother is more reserved but leans towards him whilst my father (who passed away a year ago) was staunchly irish Catholic as is all my family from that side (and until recently, me as well). My other brother and sister.. well they arent particularly aligned with any spiritual institution either by choice or lack of interest.

So given that... I would hope someday to be married within the Temple should I become LDS and meet an LDS woman that would find me worthy of such an honor as matrimony. What this means, however, is that tragically, I would have absolutely no one there for me at our Temple Marriage. In the long run I suppose I wouldnt be too bothered by that, but you can see how this might make for an uncomfortable situation.

But a lot of great links and information given here.. Thanks everyone. I appreciate the warmth and friendliness Ive recieved on these forums. Im seriously considering speaking to a missionary very soon. Perhaps as soon as right after New Years. I dont want to bother anyone during the Holidays when they should be spending the time with their families.

While I spoke of LDS customs, let's get in the real world.

My brother got married about 6 months ago to a young woman he baptized into the church.

When her parents first found out about temple sealings (and that they wouldn't be allowed to attend), their first reaction was along the lines of "We'll burn it down first!"

Not exactly a way to "win friends and influence people" - on both sides.

Over time, they've actually taken missionary lessons and (last I heard) are taking the lessons seriously enough to consider baptism.

So, when it came time for my brother had his fiance to plan their wedding, they finally decided on a civil ceremony. This meant that they could be together, and save their temple sealing for when her parents could go... and their parents could be sealed to each other and their daughter, and their daughter sealed to her husband.

I think it's worth the wait and shows that my brother is willing to compromise for the sake of his bride and her family.

***

BTW, as for bothering missionaries during the holidays... believe me, it's okay. Missionaries do not serve at home. They are sent to another area. I live in California, but I served in Tennessee. There is no immediate family where missionaries serve. Their only contact is via email and telephone on Mother's Day and Christmas Day. The rest of the time is dedicated to serving the Lord.

If you want to meet with missionaries, seek them out. You'll help them fulfill their purpose as missionaries. They're "on the job" literally 70 hours per week. They are MORE than full-time.

Let me put it in another way: I'd hate to be the missionaries in your area and NOT have the opportunity to meet you and share the gospel with someone who is diligently searching as you are.

[jayanna]

Im seriously considering speaking to a missionary very soon. Perhaps as soon as right after New Years. I dont want to bother anyone during the Holidays when they should be spending the time with their families.

Missionaries do not live with their families. They don't visit their families, or serve their mission anywhere near their immediate family. They dedicate all of their time for two years to teaching the word of the Lord to those who are ready to learn. They do not watch TV they don't listen to the radio or even read the newspaper. They call their mom twice a year, on mother's day and on Christmas day. That's it. Christmas is a great time of year to investigate. Here in our area there is a great musical celebration, this year there are several different churces participating, tickets are free but are going so fast that they decided to broadcast the performance to the wards.

My husband and I had a civil wedding at about the same time he joined the church and were sealed in the temple later. You can do both. Don't start worrying about what might be. Most people already believe that they will be with their families in heaven, so I don't see your family having a problem with a ceremony concerning that. Have your temple ceremony and then a ring ceremony with all the family and friends after. Alcohol makes people do dumb things at weddings anyway.

You can chat with missionaries on mormon.org