IF, By Rudyard Kipling

[Guest kshRox]

If

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;

If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same:.

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings,

And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

[NeuroTypical]

I have that hanging on my bathroom wall, right next to the scale.

It helps a little.

[Anddenex]

One of the best poems written, however I am truly fond of Ella Wheeler Wilcox. She is one of the greatest poetesses ever -- my purely humble opinion.

[Guest]

I am so thankful for good men in my life. I hope my son will follow suit.

[Ron65]

This is one of my favourites and I often listen to it on youtube. Poetry was originally an oral form so it should be listened to rather than read. If you read poetry then it ought to be read aloud so as to FEEL the words and flow more deeply. It's a bit like songs, they are listened too which makes them come alive, thereby having a greater effect on us.

[Carborendum]

On 12/12/2012 at 8:38 PM, Guest kshRox said:

...
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
...
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:

Epiphany!!!

My daughter came to me last night talking about sometimes it seems like all her efforts are in vain.  She has put tremendous energy into various projects for school, with her friend groups, etc.  And she is so disappointed when she sees someone drop out.  She usually picks up the slack, only to have someone else drop out...

Sometimes it continues.  Sometimes it is too much and she simply can't continue without certain resources from others in the group who have dropped out.

As I was consoling her, I finally understood the words of Kipling which I isolated above.

• Why are triumph and disaster both "imposters"?
• Why would you risk everything you've gathered only to throw it all away on a game of chance?

For many years, I had read this poem.  And I understood the rest of it just fine.  But these two parts (quoted above) always made me wonder (why is this good advice?).  Only as I was comforting my daughter did I understand that I had not yet become a man.

Triumph and disaster are both imposters because we seem to manufacture so many meaningless things to be the "prize" we want in life.  But the reality is that the prize is something that we don't really "win."

Those things we consider to be success or failure are so often just the result of a gamble that happened to work out or not.  Sometimes, you can do everything right and still lose.  But we take consolation in the fact that we did, indeed, do what was right.

Real success or failure is a measure of what we did, not what we achieved -- if you get my meaning.  Every loss is a learning experience.  It is the fact that we keep growing whether we win or lose that makes the experience worthwhile.  Imagine winning, and then thinking, "Ok, I don't need to grow anymore!"

Continual growth is the only thing that we can truly assess as the prize.

Edited March 24 by Carborendum

[NeuroTypical]

On 12/12/2012 at 7:59 PM, NeuroTypical said:

I have that hanging on my bathroom wall, right next to the scale.  It helps a little.

6 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Continual growth is the only thing that we can truly assess as the prize.

 

Mission accomplished.