How should I go about this?

[JodyTJ]

I first off want to tell you how I got interested in the LDS Church and why it is difficult to actually go through with it. So here it goes! :)

This won't come to a surprise to anyone, but the first I ever heard of the Church was during the Republican primaries. And know, Mitt Romney isn't the main reason I started researching. I actually first heard about the Church from Jon Huntsman (former governor of Utah I believe?), when he was making his "Mormon" jokes with Romney. But eventually, I got more and more interested when they started talking about Romney becoming president, and becoming the first Mormon president. So I thought to myself, "What the heck is a Mormon" and I eventually learned the official name of the Church and went to its site, which is quite helpful. I've also been on mormon.org, which is an awesome site. I do know the basics of the Church, but I do admit, I don't know as much as I'd like. I also don't know if the BoM is true (I still have doubts).

And then there's why this is so difficult... and it's mainly because of my parents severe and I mean severe opposition to anything Mormon and me becoming Mormon. I did contact some missionaries and they came to my house. I wasn't there (I was at school), but they left me the Bible and BoM. My parents were not happy and eventually thought out the BoM. I don't know how to get around this.

Do you know any way I can do this without my parents knowing? I want to be discreet about this.

[Roseslipper]

How old r u jody? I joined the church a few wks before I was 21. at first my dad and step mom didnt know. I kept it from them. My dad was the first one to marry out of the faith with his 2nd marriage. My mom died when I was 3 yrs old. I was born into a jewish family as I was in my late teens I wondered why Jewish people dont beleive in Jesus, He's Jewish, yHe taught the Jewish people and so on and so forth. I didnt know anything about the Lds church. In 12th graDE OR 11TH cant remmeber to far back haha. I meet a girl who wasnt a member but was intersted in the church, we went our own way, then one day I just desided to walk in the Church, my family didnt know, and I was never the kind of girl to go out alot. All of a sudden Im going out and my dads thinking in his mind why?? but never asked me. Then one day while I was driving to the sister missionarys home, the sisters called and my dad picked up the phone, and asked what was going on??? well to make a longer story short when I got to the sisters home, they told me I needed to go and tell my dad. so I left. I was probably nervous. But I knew my father loved me alot as I did him. When I got home he was asleep. So I waited in the living room. I was suppose to go out that night to a church dance called the golden green ball, we dont have them any more. Since my dad was sleeping I desided to go to the gas station deli we owned, my step mom was there in the deli. So I told her. She told me it was my life, my choice. When my dad got out of the car at the station, he took his pointer finger out and wiggled at me like come here, and he said sister and used my last name, he was not mad, didnt scream, or anything he was just hurt. I joined the church it was the best thing I did in my life.

[Wordnerd]

Since your profile shows that you are 18, you are an adult and can meet with the missionaries or even get baptized without your parents permission. That said, if you want to live in their house you will need to respect their rules and feelings. I feel a lot of times parents are opposed because they are not familiar with the church and they feel it will somehow "steal" their children from them. If you give the impression that you are sneaking around, it will only confirm your parents fears. I would recommend that you tell them you plan to learn more about the church, but offer that you will not invite the missionaries to their home if they are opposed to it.

What you can do is:

1. Download an electronic copy of the Book of Mormon onto your phone or tablet, or read it online at lds.org

2. Ask the missionaries to meet with you at a church building instead of your home

3. Watch General Conference, which is on next weekend, it is available online, on lds.org or in some areas (like Alberta) on TV, it would also be broadcast to local church buildings

4. Watch other church produced media, available on the mormon channel on YouTube.

5. Attend the church services for your local ward, you can find your ward by inputting your address on lds maps (lds.org/maps)

If you are open and honest with your parents they may accept your choice to learn about the church, especially if they see that it is a positive influence in your life. Your level of respect and honesty will go a long way towards their acceptance of your choices. At your age is when you need to begin making adult decisions if you are proving that you are making mature ones it will help them to accept that you are growing up.

[Hyena]

I know exactly how you feel. I JUST went through this, I still am. My family is severely opposed to this faith. My brother is a baptist minister. When I mentioned my interest in the church my brother darn near stages an intervention. My mother flat out said she'd rather I had no religion and go to hell than join that "cult."

The amount of hatred and intolerance left me stunned. I ceased to discuss it with them. My mother began having "heart attack" symptoms every time I tried to talk about my feelings. It would be "Oh, I feel so light headed! My heart is fluttering..."

For a while I considered a dual identity. Being in both religions to keep the peace. I'd convert in secret and just attend church occasionally with my mother and brother. This way, everyone is pleased. But eventually I realized that I love this church too much to live a lie. I could not knowingly sit in another service and listen to people be instructed in the wrong teachings. To be led blindly. I casually mentioned to my family about the baptism but I don't think they believed me. Ultimately I just let the subject drop and never mentioned it again. That was a month ago. I've been a happy Mormon and faithful since then. I don't explain why I do what I do or why I changed the way I do certain things like stopped drinking tea and ceased watching shows with graphic or pornographic images. I don't explain where it is I go every Sunday morning without fail. I decided that by living the life, my example will be my argument to them. Let my actions speak for me and the LDS church, not my words. I stopped living in fear.

I respect them enough to avoid talking about it. But I also am no longer afraid of losing my family, Because I have a new family: the members of my ward. I have come to love my new brothers and sisters dearly in the short time I've known them. Sure on the goofiest Mormon I think ever, And at times I feel like a lost puppy to most of the motherly members but I know that these people care about me to an extent. So no matter what happens I know I will not be alone. Someone in the church will be there for me and will love me.

And most of all heavenly Father will love me.

And that is all that really matters.

[Hyena]

And if you need a friend to talk to I be glad to listen.

Or whatever. Just know that I'm a terrible Mormon Because I don't know anything yet!

[Anddenex]

Just know that I'm a terrible Mormon Because I don't know anything yet!

This doesn't make you a terrible Mormon in the least. I assume we all then would be terrible if we compare ourselves with God's knowledge.

All of us are at different stages, the objective is that we are all progressing. :)

[mnn727]

I second what was said about watching General Conference this coming weekend.

there are 4 broadcast sessions, available on KBYU if your cable/satellite company carries it.

On the internet at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and at select Church buildings

sessions are at 10AM and 2PM MDT both Saturday and Sunday.

[JodyTJ]

I second what was said about watching General Conference this coming weekend.

there are 4 broadcast sessions, available on KBYU if your cable/satellite company carries it.

On the internet at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and at select Church buildings

sessions are at 10AM and 2PM MDT both Saturday and Sunday.

I do plan on watching General Conference this weekend. Would it be on BYUtv (which is what I have)? I saw exerts of the April General Conference of 2012 but not much to make me more informed. My internet is also very, very bad so watching it on my internet is a no-go. Though I plan on getting a Samsung Galaxy S4, and I am curious if the Church has an app or if I am able to watch the next General Conference live on another source?

@Roseslipper

Sounds to me that you have it easy. For me, it will be far more difficult. It's mostly my father who is opposed (my mom is as well, but she's not as mean as he is). He basically says that I was baptized Catholic and should stay Catholic, which is unfair because I don't believe in Catholicism anymore.

@Hyena

I've considered having a dual identity, but it wouldn't seem right to me. I would be living a lie on the one hand, and also lying to my parents. I don't plan on telling them that I have converted (though I will let them know of my interest in leaving Catholicism, but not saying what church), but I do plan on telling them when I am older, and have them clearly understand that I determine my future, and not them. But I need help with contacting missionaries without prompting them to my house.

I also need help with understanding some LDS theology (but that's for another thread).

[Vort]

Yes, it's on BYUtv at noon Eastern (9 am Pacific) and at 4 pm Eastern (1 pm Pacific).

[estradling75]

But I need help with contacting missionaries without prompting them to my house.

I also need help with understanding some LDS theology (but that's for another thread).

You can go to Mormon.org | Beliefs and People of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints You can chat with missionaries there and start learning more about our theology... All from the comfort of your computer

[JodyTJ]

You can go to Mormon.org | Beliefs and People of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints You can chat with missionaries there and start learning more about our theology... All from the comfort of your computer

My father said that they track the people on that site (I've been on it). He said the missionaries came again when we said not to come, and he told me that they said they track people on that site to see if they're still interested. So I am afraid to go on it again. But I think he was just trying to scare me. Not sure though.

[dahlia]

You might want to read, 'Catholic roots, Mormon Harvest' by Eric Shuster. I found it helpful to read about another Catholic's experiences with conversion, but also with the two theologies. His wife has a masters in Catholic theology or some such, so they have a scholarly basis for what they write. The book is easy to read; you won't get bogged down in a deep theological discussion.

[Hyena]

What you can do Judy is locate a ward near your home and pop by during the day to the Church. You can then meet someone and ask them to give a message to the Missionaries to call your personal cell phone. If you explain the situation to them, they DO understand and they are more than willing to work around the situation. They are fully aware of some of the obstacles normal people face in converting into this Church. One thing I would impress upon anyone, from my personal experience, is that joining this Church has to be something you TRULY want, because while we feel joy and completion at finally discovering the truth and serving God with our new spiritual family, becoming a Mormon is not a party. It's choosing a difficult life, at least, and it's marking yourself as a target at worst. You'll find there are people with some violently ridiculous views of our faith. THey think of us as a cult. As bigomists. As racists and bigots. The irony there is that I'm black. And people then consider me a "sell out," as if I volunteered to serve at the white master's feet (I've been told these things recently by some "Christian" black friends, all out of "concern" don't you know..)

One thing I learned way early is the amount of bias, stereotyping, and irrational prejudice there are against us JUST for daring to believe. You know how Atheists like Bill Maher treat religious people? Well replace Atheists with OTHER so-called "Christians" and you have a surprising situation where people who claim they follow the teachings of Christ suddenly seem to forget ALL of that "love thy neighbor" stuff when it comes to us Mormons. So be prepared for mental and emotional battles, probably all of your life.

The good news is, this Church more than any other rallies around one another and is truly a FAMILY. This isn't like any other church I've ever experienced, where you go to church, pray, and then go home and spend the rest of the week living like you have no religion at all, only to go sit in Church on Sunday again and assume all is forgiven and you're writing your ticket to Heaven. It is a church of WORK... there is always something to do in the service of the Lord and we live the scriptures, we live by the teachings of Christ, we make an ACTUAL EFFORT to be perfect like Jesus' example (spoiler: we fail at it, alot, but the point is that we TRY). If you can handle that, and if you can handle people you never would have spoken to ever on the street treating you suddenly like a blood relative or their own child or their sister or loved one, then I'd say this church is absolutely for you. If you believe in Christ, and you believe that there is a true Gospel and that it is possible for Heavenly Father to commission a new prophet to complete his works in Joseph Smith and that the fullness of the Gospel has finally been restored back on Earth, then absolutely this Church is what you need. We know it, we live it, we love it! That's our creed, our motto.

All I know is, I'm a very unhappy person. I've suffered a lot in my life. I've tried to reconcile it every which way I can. Sure, people think I'm a bundle of laughs, but in reality, I've been scarred in a number of ways over my lifetime, and there was a period of time when I think I cried every single night for a year. Then I went searching. I found this church. And for the first time in a long time, I am truly, deeply, purely... at peace. Maybe not entirely happy all the time.. but at peace. ANd who could ask for more?

The missionaries were more than eager to meet me ANYWHERE but my house. We met at the Church most of the time to talk. Most of my ward members know that my home is not a very safe place for me to conduct Church business and they accommodate. This church is about LOVE and being a family and they don't want to cause you strife and trouble at home. They will be glad to work with you and around your issues.

One thing I DO want to stress though, given that advice...

I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of aiding you in sneaking around and keeping secrets. I mean, on one hand, it's important for you to do what Heavenly Father would want you to do... our Earthly families have no dominion in that regard... Our heavenly parent's desires take precedent. That said, I would not wish what my life is like on any one. I still feel that in ways I'm sneaking about doing something, when I want to share my testimony and joy with my family. But I know they don't want to hear it, they'll just be combative so I don't talk about it. But I DID tell them my intentions. I did at least ATTEMPT to talk to them about me joining, my baptism and etc. THey just chose not to accept it, and to keep the arguments to a minimum I elected to forgo bringing it up to them. At least for a while. Eventually, I imagine I'll slowly be able to introduce tidbits of my spiritual life to them and they'll grow accustomed to it and maybe even accepting. I don't hold out any fantasies that they'll have a change of heart and join the church themselves someday, but I pray for it.

THe bottom line is, you must find your own path to salvation and your own happy medium of compromise. If you are anything like me, you love your parents dearly and hate to do anything that upsets them. But sometimes, you gotta make an omelet, and that requires shaking a few chickens.

Or something like that.

I'll pray for you, love.

[JodyTJ]

What you can do Judy is locate a ward near your home and pop by during the day to the Church. You can then meet someone and ask them to give a message to the Missionaries to call your personal cell phone. If you explain the situation to them, they DO understand and they are more than willing to work around the situation. They are fully aware of some of the obstacles normal people face in converting into this Church. One thing I would impress upon anyone, from my personal experience, is that joining this Church has to be something you TRULY want, because while we feel joy and completion at finally discovering the truth and serving God with our new spiritual family, becoming a Mormon is not a party. It's choosing a difficult life, at least, and it's marking yourself as a target at worst. You'll find there are people with some violently ridiculous views of our faith. THey think of us as a cult. As bigomists. As racists and bigots. The irony there is that I'm black. And people then consider me a "sell out," as if I volunteered to serve at the white master's feet (I've been told these things recently by some "Christian" black friends, all out of "concern" don't you know..)

One thing I learned way early is the amount of bias, stereotyping, and irrational prejudice there are against us JUST for daring to believe. You know how Atheists like Bill Maher treat religious people? Well replace Atheists with OTHER so-called "Christians" and you have a surprising situation where people who claim they follow the teachings of Christ suddenly seem to forget ALL of that "love thy neighbor" stuff when it comes to us Mormons. So be prepared for mental and emotional battles, probably all of your life.

The good news is, this Church more than any other rallies around one another and is truly a FAMILY. This isn't like any other church I've ever experienced, where you go to church, pray, and then go home and spend the rest of the week living like you have no religion at all, only to go sit in Church on Sunday again and assume all is forgiven and you're writing your ticket to Heaven. It is a church of WORK... there is always something to do in the service of the Lord and we live the scriptures, we live by the teachings of Christ, we make an ACTUAL EFFORT to be perfect like Jesus' example (spoiler: we fail at it, alot, but the point is that we TRY). If you can handle that, and if you can handle people you never would have spoken to ever on the street treating you suddenly like a blood relative or their own child or their sister or loved one, then I'd say this church is absolutely for you. If you believe in Christ, and you believe that there is a true Gospel and that it is possible for Heavenly Father to commission a new prophet to complete his works in Joseph Smith and that the fullness of the Gospel has finally been restored back on Earth, then absolutely this Church is what you need. We know it, we live it, we love it! That's our creed, our motto.

All I know is, I'm a very unhappy person. I've suffered a lot in my life. I've tried to reconcile it every which way I can. Sure, people think I'm a bundle of laughs, but in reality, I've been scarred in a number of ways over my lifetime, and there was a period of time when I think I cried every single night for a year. Then I went searching. I found this church. And for the first time in a long time, I am truly, deeply, purely... at peace. Maybe not entirely happy all the time.. but at peace. ANd who could ask for more?

The missionaries were more than eager to meet me ANYWHERE but my house. We met at the Church most of the time to talk. Most of my ward members know that my home is not a very safe place for me to conduct Church business and they accommodate. This church is about LOVE and being a family and they don't want to cause you strife and trouble at home. They will be glad to work with you and around your issues.

One thing I DO want to stress though, given that advice...

I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of aiding you in sneaking around and keeping secrets. I mean, on one hand, it's important for you to do what Heavenly Father would want you to do... our Earthly families have no dominion in that regard... Our heavenly parent's desires take precedent. That said, I would not wish what my life is like on any one. I still feel that in ways I'm sneaking about doing something, when I want to share my testimony and joy with my family. But I know they don't want to hear it, they'll just be combative so I don't talk about it. But I DID tell them my intentions. I did at least ATTEMPT to talk to them about me joining, my baptism and etc. THey just chose not to accept it, and to keep the arguments to a minimum I elected to forgo bringing it up to them. At least for a while. Eventually, I imagine I'll slowly be able to introduce tidbits of my spiritual life to them and they'll grow accustomed to it and maybe even accepting. I don't hold out any fantasies that they'll have a change of heart and join the church themselves someday, but I pray for it.

THe bottom line is, you must find your own path to salvation and your own happy medium of compromise. If you are anything like me, you love your parents dearly and hate to do anything that upsets them. But sometimes, you gotta make an omelet, and that requires shaking a few chickens.

Or something like that.

I'll pray for you, love.

I've thought of doing that, but it's quite risky (I'd have to bike there, since I don't own a car). But it's worth a shot.

I actually like a church that makes me work and keeps me active in the faith during the whole week, not just Sunday. I'm the kind of person who gets excited when I'm asked to do something, for example, teach people about the Book of Mormon. Teaching people about the BoM would be awesome, but first I need to believe in it, and study it first. And of course, join the Church. But constantly studying and being encouraged to study the scriptures is something I would love to do. :)

The Catholic Church, to me at least, is just a very boring, ritualistic, and divided church. The Mormon Church on the other hand is united, not boring, and not ritualistic. I also don't feel like I'm in a family in the Catholic Church. But I can tell from you and others that the Mormon Church is a family church.

My parents know I am interested in the Church (though, that was awhile ago, they don't know that I'm interested again). I don't want to keep secrets, or lie, but I think I need to keep it to myself. Or else my journey will come to a sad ending yet again.

[Hyena]

Or else my journey will come to a sad ending yet again.

Your journey ends when and where YOU decide it ends. You're an adult, mostly, and at some point you are going to have to make decisions that are best for you. You Cannot live your entire life for others. At some point, and often, you are going to have to choose between what is RIGHT and what is EASY. Seldom is anything ever both of those at the same time. The bible says to honor thy mother and father, but we also have Heavenly Parents to obey. We also have our own agency (You will hear that word a lot in this church) Which essentially means that you have the free will to choose. But there's a catch; having the free will to choose also means that you must except the consequences for your choice.

Maybe now is not your time to join the church. But someday you will be living on your own working at your own career, paying your bills, starting your own family. Then you may have the chance to decide again.

That's how I came to this choice. I realized I have to think and act for my best interest as a man, an adult. My family, if they love me, will eventually come to accept me for what I am. If not, well... I can't control that.. But it's better than letting THEM control ME.

Like I said before though, I am pretty new to this church so I'm not certain if what I am telling you is the right thing to say. Perhaps one of the wiser members on this forum come along and give you some really useful advice.

Until then, all I can offer you is my testimony, friendship, and my love.

[SanctitasDeo]

My father said that they track the people on that site (I've been on it). He said the missionaries came again when we said not to come, and he told me that they said they track people on that site to see if they're still interested. So I am afraid to go on it again. But I think he was just trying to scare me. Not sure though.

It is not actually possible for anyone to track you in any meaningful way from a website unless you give them personal information.

When you visit a website, that site can log your IP address, which is a number assigned to your computer randomly by your router. The site might also place a packet of information in your browser called a cookie. That way, it can remember who 'you' are (not that it knows anything about you.

If you were to give out your name, address, or other personal information, then the site could match that with the cookie or IP address and then track you. Otherwise, it is not really possible.

Mormon.org might use cookies. Most websites do. But I am certain that cnn.com does more tracking than mormon.org. And sites like Facebook do much, much more.

Anyway, the point is that there is no way for the church to send missionaries based on you going to that site, unless you use the site to give them your address. But honestly, they don't need the website to use your address once they have it. And most missionaries do not actually use mormon.org or have any contact with the missionaries who do (they are all in Provo in the MTC).

I think he was just trying to scare you.

[Hyena]

And most missionaries do not actually use mormon.org or have any contact with the missionaries who do (they are all in Provo in the MTC).

I think he was just trying to scare you.

I was thinking that myself. I know they can now email on P-day, but I didn't think missionaries even had access to visit websites and such or even use the internet while out on their mission.