Help With Parents?

[EmmyG97]

I am a 15 (16 in one month) year old girl who has been looking into the church for a little over one year. I recently started teachings with the missionaries. After my third discussion and much praying, I have come to the decision that the church is definitely for me. I believe in all that I have heard and researched 100%. But there is a problem..my parents (primarily my mother) won't let me attend the church, church activities, or have any more discussions with the missionaries. She has essentially forbidden me from the LDS church. She says that she cannot support something that she believes to be a lie filled with fake prophets and false teachings. She feels that the Church will take me away from her, and that choosing to be a part of the Church is choosing it over my family. I don't know what to do. Is there a way to soften heart or to convince her to let me at least attend the church? Any help or advice is much appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Edited July 18, 2013 by EmmyG97

[Just_A_Guy]

I think you should honor your mother's wishes, respecting her role and her sincere belief that she is doing what is best for you. In the meantime, participate as much as she'll allow you to do (even if that's just reading scriptures on your own, praying individually, etc). Be the best daughter you can be, and hopefully at some point she'll see that Mormonism makes you a better daughter and, rather than estranging you, actually draws you closer to the rest of your family. (And it goes without saying that being a great daughter should be a sincere and lasting goal on your part, not just schmoozing. )

[Anddenex]

I agree with JAG, right now honor your mother's wishes since you are a teenager and still under your parent's guidance.

In the meantime we have examples within scripture regarding the Lord softening the heart of his children. Trust in this.

[pam]

Totally agree with the above comments.

[Guest ArchangelKid]

I strongly agree with the posts above. I got baptized even though my parents weren't on board with the idea and it was not fun at all. They took my baptism as an act of betrayal and they were really hurt. It was probably wise for me to wait and listen to my parents. I should have helped my parents understand what I already understood but I moved too quick. Of course now, 5 months later, everything is back to normal back home but there are still some roadblocks to consider. I can't really do family research because no one in my family is being cooperative in helping me know about my ancestors. I suggest listening to your mom and help her understand what you already understand.

[Lakumi]

I strongly agree with the posts above. I got baptized even though my parents weren't on board with the idea and it was not fun at all. They took my baptism as an act of betrayal and they were really hurt. It was probably wise for me to wait and listen to my parents. I should have helped my parents understand what I already understood but I moved too quick. Of course now, 5 months later, everything is back to normal back home but there are still some roadblocks to consider. I can't really do family research because no one in my family is being cooperative in helping me know about my ancestors. I suggest listening to your mom and help her understand what you already understand.

my family simply decided one day they wanted to know how far back they could trace the bloodline, they got to the 1100's then as my mom says "goes over to Ireland and we sort of lost the trail"

[Gwen]

I agree with others to honor your mother. There are things you can do to study and learn on your own (though yes it is hard). We have had teens in similar situations to yourself here that had to wait until 18 to get baptized.

As for what you can do now to progress or help her. A very painful lesson I recently learned (it was revers, parent to child but principle is the same) is that some things are in Heavenly Father's hands.

Your mom was/is heavenly father's child before she was a child or a mother. He loves her as much as he loves you. He desires for her to return to him as much as he desires you to return to him. You are not responsible for your mom's testimony, that is between her and heavenly father. When we hit that point that we can do nothing, we have no control/power/influence over a situation that is when it's time to hand it over to heavenly father. He loves her and will take care of her. You keep being you, keep being a good example and above all else unconditionally love her as your mother. Pray for her and let heavenly father know you are putting this path (your joining the church, her hardened heart) into his hands. It may take a long time (2 very painful yrs for us) but he will open doors, he can soften hearts. Trust him. This could prove to be one of the biggest testimony building experiences either of you could ever have.

[Praetorian_Brow]

Parents are often wrong and narrow minded in that they expect their children to believe as they do. While the above advice is sound in its intent, it ignores your obvious need to act on your independence and testimony. Your mother is concerned that your life experience is a liability, but you seem passionate abut this direction, as indicated in your willingness to post in this forum and this passion for advice will do you much good.

I would not recommend confronting your mother if you feel that strong about the church, however, I would suggest that you find ways to attend meetings without hampering your parents or expecting them to assist you. Its hard to maintain ones faith when it feels like their is constant opposition, but by being constant and dedicated even to the idea, you will gain others respect, even if its grudging. Over time, I bet your mother will accept the idea, once she knows that it means that much to you.

[NeuroTypical]

I would not recommend confronting your mother if you feel that strong about the church, however, I would suggest that you find ways to attend meetings without hampering your parents or expecting them to assist you.

You mean find above-board ways, with no sneaking, right? I think that's good advice.