staying classy!

[missmollymormon]

Hey guys. I live in Australia, and I have been sort of seeing a guy that lives in America. We arent official, but we do have plans for me to go back over there for some dates. :)

My problem is this, there seems to be a girl lurking around over there. It might be nothing, but since I commented on a facebook picture of him telling him he looked handsome she seems to have been 'upping the anti' and is constantly tagging him etc. I know this sounds silly... but my womans intuition is telling me she is interested. I dont want to be a jealous girl... I want to be classy about this. I know things on facebook can easily be read into... any ideas on how to deal with it?

[skippy740]

Block her from your facebook account. Then you can't see anything she does, and she can't see anything you do.

[Guest]

Unfortunately she has as much "right" to him as you do at this point.

I agree with skippy's advice. Block her, and then just focus on having an authentic and natural relationship with the guy, and let things take their course.

[pam]

I'm not sure I'd block her. I think I would still want to see what kind of interraction they have before I spent a lot of money traveling half way around the world.

[beefche]

I think it depends on how "official" you are. I'm going to guess you two aren't exclusive at this point. Obviously, if you were exclusive, then I would be asking him about her and his relationship with her. As long as you aren't exclusive about your relationship, then as Eowyn said, there isn't much you can do about it.

What I would do is focus on your relationship with him and do your best to ignore her.

[missmollymormon]

Its just frustrating. I dont want to spend a fortune on flights to get shafted at the last minute.. I figure that he wouldnt let me do this if he wasnt somewhat serious. But then, I have been hurt before so my trust levels are quite low. Not his fault I know but I am still wary.

[Bini]

Its just frustrating. I dont want to spend a fortune on flights to get shafted at the last minute.. I figure that he wouldnt let me do this if he wasnt somewhat serious. But then, I have been hurt before so my trust levels are quite low. Not his fault I know but I am still wary.

I would say that having the opportunity to travel in this magnitude is rather a big deal. Not everyone has that luxury - ever. There's a couple things I would do, the first is to be direct and ask if he's "seeing" anyone. That wording may be a bit vague but his response might or might not surprise you. Secondly, make sure you're not stuck relying on HIM for transportation or housing. Yes, it's nice to have somewhere to crash and show you around but I would make reservations at a hotel and even consider having access to my own rental car. This way, if things turn out very differently than you had envisioned (or even understood), then you can cut the ties then and there and still enjoy your travel experience :)

[missmollymormon]

Good point, Bini. I should look more toward the travel experience. I have been to america twice in the past two years, so I guess its easy to take that for granted. Having said that though, the purpose of me going this time is for us to date. Maybe I am just being silly over this whole thing? Its not him I am worried about, its her intentions...

[Guest]

If he falls prey to her intentions, he's not for you, anyway.

[pam]

One question I have. Who initiated the idea to have you go to the US?

[missmollymormon]

We both made the decision. We wanted to date, but he is quite tied down over there, so its just easier for me to go to him.

[Guest]

Has he offered to help with the costs?

[missmollymormon]

No, he is a student so he isnt in the position to. Having said that though, I am a travel consultant so I get flights super cheap

[Roseslipper]

Is he Lds?

[missmollymormon]

Yes, he is a member. Ive known him for a couple of years noe

[Guest]

Is he doing any work toward getting closer to you, or letting you make all the effort?

[Just_A_Guy]

Its just frustrating. I dont want to spend a fortune on flights to get shafted at the last minute.. I figure that he wouldnt let me do this if he wasnt somewhat serious. But then, I have been hurt before so my trust levels are quite low. Not his fault I know but I am still wary.

Well, you're a travel consultant, so why don't you make it first and foremost a trip to America to do the tourist thing where he can tag along if he likes (as opposed to a trip to see him specifically)? That way, if things fall through with him--hey, you got to see America (again)!

[Bini]

Well, you're a travel consultant, so why don't you make it first and foremost a trip to America to do the tourist thing where he can tag along if he likes (as opposed to a trip to see him specifically)? That way, if things fall through with him--hey, you got to see America (again)!

Basically what I said earlier but your version is much sweeter and to the point.

[Guest]

In any case, you judge your man by how he deals with women - especially those chasing after him. You don't judge him by the actions of the girls chasing after him.

I married a runway model. Girls chasing after my guy was a dime a dozen. A lot of them making fools of themselves. It was kinda ego-boosting for him to choose ME over all those girls - a lot of them rail-thin, super-tall, runway models... I have to admit it gave me a good feeling everytime I meet him somewhere and he's talking to a group of gals and I walk in the room and he leaves them all to pay me attention. Ahh, youth.