How can I be more positive?

[Sunday21]

Dear Bros & Sis\'s,

I have developed a bad habit of being negative. I think this is because I work brutally long hours six days a week without the benefit of coffee which I miss desperately. I rarely do anything fun because Sunday is my only day off. I do need to become more positive. I am trying to : 1) smile, 2) pray at work, while driving, while walking to work, 3) do favours for people. I carry a spare umbrella when it is raining to give away. 4) say prayers of gratitude. Any ideas?

[Quin]

I operate under the theory that almost anything in life can be laughed at.

It may be a military habit.

As an example, Chesty Puller is famous for shouting out to his troops, when his unit became completely surrounded by 10 divisions of enemy soldiers (outnumbered apx 1000:1)

"We've got em right where we want em NOW boys!!! We can shoot in ANY direction!!!"

... So that's what I do.

In every situation I come across, or find myself in, I look for the funny part of it.

Whether it's the apocalypse diet (tins of food, because I'm too broke to buy food), or shaking hands with the cop and welcoming him into my spectacularly bad night (he ended up becoming a good friend), or zombie-days (I often work 36hour shifts)... I laugh at myself. A lot. As long as I can still laugh at myself, I'm going to be okay.

Q

[Guest]

Working brutally long hours does not have to be related to negativity. I just had 2 60-hour weeks back to back. Work is a positive thing.

What we all need is to have an attitude of gratitude. Thank God for your job. Thank God for that 200th pallet you have to unload today because it just allowed you to buy another gallon of milkfor the kids. Thank God for that mean boss that just yelled at you for teaching you patience and perseverance in extreme conditions... Thank God for everything.

[Irishcolleen]

I agree with everyone that mentioned gratitude. Make a list of things you are thankful for and thank God for them.  Whenever a negative thought pops into your mind replace it with a positive one. I believe that happiness is a choice. 

 

This verse helps:

"...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. ¹² I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. ¹³ I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. " Phil. 4:11-13

 

This verse can apply to many situations.  When you have a long work week you lack time and energy for other things. God can teach you to be content even when you lack these things.  His grace is sufficent!

[Sunday21]

Thank you all. This is good advice.

[notquiteperfect]

I will add upbeat or uplifting music to what others have said.  Music has a profound effect on us!  Also, post some positive quotes or jokes around that you would see (bathroom mirror, car, etc.).  They could even just be words (gratitude, thankful, yay!, etc).  I'm sure there are other things to but this is what's coming to me for now. Hope things look brighter for you soon.

[The Folk Prophet]

Habits take time to break. Long term practice of positive thought patterns can yield results. So those things you are doing, stick with them diligently. Beyond that, the Spirit is the answer. Having the Spirit with you constantly will bring you peace. This takes effort and constant struggle. The Spirit attends when we obey, including prayer, diligent scripture study, etc, but also takes effort to listen and look for it constantly. That is another thing that we can practice, I believe, into a long term habit.

[dahlia]

Gratitude is a good start. I guess this is gratitude in a way - if something goes wrong and I am able to fix it, I'm happy about it.

 

I had a drain backup, very smelly & messy, but it didn't go into the carpeted area. Happy.  The drain guy was able 1) to come out in our first snow storm and 2) to fix it. Happy.  I was able to afford the fix. Happy. The messy area got cleaned up in seconds with a Swiffer mop. So, what was a 'OMG, what do I do now?' issue, had a 'whew, got that done'  Happy.  I could have been ticked off all day that I had to deal with this, but why? Where would that negativity get me?

 

You can be happy that you have the money or the time to do things that need to get done. Or people who want to help you.

 

So, one of my primary research interests is on disaster, poor planning, bad management in organizations. As of last year, I have made a personal and professional choice to look at organizations in a more positive light; my first article in this area was recently published. There is also a small movement amongst org behavior folks to look at positivity. http://positiveorgs.bus.umich.edu/   It is a major turn for me, but I think it will be worth it on a personal level. Who wants to go through life looking at what's wrong all the time? Still, it takes some effort, darkness is always so much more interesting, but I you can be more positive if you choose to be so.

[Awakened]

I follow a two-step plan as best as I can.

 

First, if there's a problem, the first thing I do is think about all the ways I can take care of it and choose the best option. If there is no way to take care of it however, I just accept it, forget it, and move on.

 

If I find myself dwelling too much on any problem, I remember how much worse other people have it compared to me and also remember all the good things in my life.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

You work "brutally long hours six days a week"  Perhaps the issue is not that you are negative or ungrateful, but simply that you are exhausted . . .

 

In Elder Holland's talk Like a Broken Vessel, he mentions how getting enough rest important to help us deal with the stresses of our lives.  (He said a lot more than that, but that is the part that is applicable here. :)  )

[Str8Shooter]

<p>.</p>

[Str8Shooter]

<p>Ugh.  Having problems posting w/o html stuff I guess.</p>

[Str8Shooter]

<p> have fought profound negativity my entire life. Things really started to change when I started regularly attending the temple, praying, and when I changed the music I listened to. I go to sleep every night listening to relaxing conference only Motab songs on my kindle. The playlist is over three hours long and it really helps bring the spirit back after a long non spiritual day.</p>

<p> </p>

<p>You can download all the conference music for free off of lds.org under the general conference area. Sometimes I listen to it in my car on the way to work.</p>

[Bini]

Addressing the topic title, try standing in front of the mirror and looking at yourself, verbally say out loud 3 positives you want to happen for you that day. Try to find new objectives each morning but repeats are okay if you feel it\'ll benefit you. After doing this, consciously work towards accomplishing those three goals you\'ve set out to achieve.

[OldPort]

I will add when I see things in my life aren;t going well, it seems my life is out of balance. We all have areas in our lives that we need to make contributions to and if we don't life can be very tough.

 

 

 

Once a week I actually sit down and spend a few minutes thinking about this and what I need to do to keep things in balance. Then I will plan out the week and schedule in those activities.

 

I would also like to recommend areally great little recording you can look up on youtube or download very cheap to listen on an MP3 player. It is called "The Strangest Secret." and really picks me up when I am down.

 

Lastly I would reccomend being careful about what music, news, and social media you are taking in. I used to wake up and first thing check the news, facebook, and turn on the talk radio. After taking abreak from all that I came to the realization that starting the day with lots of the nevative and sad things that get reported played a huge role on my attitude.

 

I now listen to nice relaxing music like The Piano Guys or put on a Conference talk. This habit has made a extraordinary difference in  my day and attitude.

[CiVi]

I had this problem too, and I noticed that it was really helpful if I look for and list all the things that make me happy or that I should be grateful for at each possible moment. I treated it like a game of Where's Waldo? and eventually it just became a habit, when something good was happening, to immediately and consciously note it, no matter how small the blessing would seem to the outside world.

I think music is a great mood-changer as well. Church music always seems to turn my heart around.

[Sunday21]

Still working on this. I try not to voice what I am thinking and to block negative thoughts with a hymn. Thank you for your advice.