Extreme Attitudes

[Iggy]

So that I don't continue to hijack EarlJibs thread"

 

 

 

mirkwood, on 13 Apr 2014 - 7:35 PM, said:

Iggy, two separate thoughts comingled.  The second thought had more to do with your extreme stance.  Do you treat coffee drinkers the same?  How about the smokers?  How about the teenager that has a masturbation problem?  The serial adulterer?  The thief?  The speeder?  The spouse abuser?  The neighbor who allows his dog to bark all night?

 

We all sin differently.  Some things are worse then others.  I find your stance on "potty mouths" extreme. 

 

Are we clear now or do I need to further clarify? 

 

Fine, we are clear - I agree, my attitude is extreme. 

 

Coffee drinkers? No, Tea drinkers? No. Alcohol? YES.

 

Yes to smokers. I avoid people when they are smoking.  Steer clear of my house and property line. Even though I smoked for 30 years, now I detest it. I won't even give a ride to someone who smokes. It is on their clothes and the stink transfers to my car. ICH! I also won't give rides to those who have offensive body odors. Don't care if it is too much cologne or not enough bathing. If you stink, you do not get in my car OR in my house.

 

I could care less what teenagers do - I don't have any. I don't care if teenagers do it, I don't care if you do it. And really Mirk, that is JUST too much! 

 

When I was asked by a judge if I could sit in a jury for an accused adulterer and be impartial, I said No. Been cheated on, have no tolerance for it. There was no way I could be impartial, not after 20 years of being a victim myself.

 

The thief, when I see someone who is stealing, I call law enforcement. Did that too. Watched a man steal groceries & wine from the store as I was shopping. Went and told the manager, then I took pictures of him emptying his pockets and pants legs of the food items and put them into his van. I then called the police. I turned the pictures over to the store and to the cops. Shoplifters are why the store prices are high. 

 

The speeder. I pray that their speeding will not end in death - theirs &/or an innocents. When we are on the road and there is a car that is driving erratically and dangerously, I call 911 on my cell phone and report the driver. 

 

The neighbor who allows his dog to bark all night. Been there regarding that one. After 15 minutes I call the non-emergency police and fire number - ask for them to do a welfare check at the house. Used to call and complain, but you get a faster response when you ask for a welfare check. 

 

So, does that answer your questions Mirk? Yes I am extreme. I have a very low tolerance for law breakers. I obey the laws of the land and I obey God's laws. 

 

I know of a LDS member who steals (from Rx drugs from homes of the members she *visits*, to cancelled checks so she can order new checks on line so she can have money, to credit cards and identities), deals in illegal drugs, lies, cheats others, forges checks. I know the victims - yet this person gets rent paid and utilities paid by the church. It really galls me, BUT as my Husband keeps reminding me: IT IS NOT MY STEWARDSHIP. I continue to pray that the Lord will keep His hand firmly over MY mouth- and that He will continue to banish the evil from our neighborhood, and I give thanks to Him for the drug free neighborhood we now have. She moved up the highway about 20 miles - YEAH!!!!

 

 

[Awakened]

IMAO, it's not so much your actions that are the problem. It's more your general attitude. I detect a decent amount of pride in it.

 

I know this scripture gets repeated so often that it sounds trite but it's so incredibly true.

 

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

 

It's OK to get very annoyed at certain BEHAVIORS people exhibit but at the end of the day, we should each be trying to be that persons friend as much as we can. We shouldn't be thinking about how fast we can get away from that person.

[notquiteperfect]

Before people start piling on - let me chime in with a thought.  There are different personalities/natures that play into this - *and it's OK*.  My husband's nature is very laid back, easy going, is quick to find the good in everyone and everything and finds it easy to offer mercy,  I otoh, have a different nature - my thinking first goes to justice long before I ever get to mercy, etc., etc, etc.  Anyway, since we're all children of God, we obviously take after Him and whenever I hear of someone judging others for being too black and white or whatever, I wonder what scriptures they read because I see a lot of black and white thinking in mine.  

I'm not justifying any one position, just trying to offer insight into where different people are coming from and why.  We all need to find a balance between justice and mercy, what we can tolerate and what we can't, etc. Just my 2c.

[Bini]

Iggy, all I can say is "fair enough". I think what you believe and how you address those issues are on the right track, even if, a bit bluntly put. (What was that other thread? ...The death of blunt speech?) For the record, despite having fallen short on one or two of those myself, I wasn't offended. I agree with Mirk that we all sin differently (I like to emphasise on those dealt the shunning card for being GBLT) but that doesn't mean you have to hold their hand through their lifestyle choice. As long as one understands that we're all imperfect and are children of God, treat others with civility even if we disagree, I think choosing to steer clear of certain individuals due to (perhaps poor) lifestyle choices made, is acceptable. We all have our personal preferences and personal boundaries, too.

[Lakumi]

I hold extreme grudges on a person to person basis, in addition to my generally cold additude towards many (for no real reasons other then not enjoying socializing most of the time).

I suppose you could call me extreme, I've detested people for things they've said, views they've had that I considered hateful or cruel or what have you.

Church, of any kind, has always been tricky for me because someone will say something I really don't like and I won't want to go back because my mind associates it with that person.

Card Stores are usually the same, though I seem to be a tad more lenient because I never like the folk in there lol

[Iggy]

Want to clarify a bit. I no longer hold grudges. Used to do that up until I was about 30 - all that does is act like a spiritual cancer and eat away at your soul. 

 

I am extreme in my attitude regarding a lot of things. Come live in my shoes for a bit, and you will then understand why I am that way. 

 

Bini - in my old profile I had a quote that I was not allowed by forum rules to place in my signature - so I put it in my profile. Only my *friends* can read that quote. It is about political correctness - and comparing it to picking up something 100$ unclean by it's non-existant clean end. Once upon a time you were my friend - now all that shows on this new set-up are the friends who have not been active in years. Try it and see if you can read it. It is listed under Profile Feed. 

 

I am The. Most. UN-Politically. Correct. Person. on this planet!! In this Universe. Bleh. 

 

thank you for your post - it warms me heart a wee bit. 

[Bini]

All my LDS friends have been rebooted to one with the new overhaul. Looks like I'll have to start re-friending people again!

[mirkwood]

 

 

 

 

Ok, so I can't use the quote button.  Or paste.  Grrr.

 

 

 

 

Yes, we seem to agree that you are extreme in your viewpoint.  Detrimentally so IMO, but that is your cross to bear, not mine.  We all sin differently.  I also think you are looking for a fight and I am choosing not to participate in that.  I got the point across that I wanted.

[Str8Shooter]

If you know, and that is know beyond any doubt, that someone is committing theft and burglary it is your responsibility as a citizen of the United States and a disciple of Christ to report these crimes against the people.  It IS your stewardship.  In fact, if you witness a serious crime and do not report it, you yourself can be charged with a crime.  If this individual who is allegedly committing these crimes is found guilty in a court of law, the church will probably consider the person guilty as well which will probably bring the rent checks into question.

 

Reporting crime usually helps the criminal, ESPECIALLY in cases of abuse.  The reoffend rate is actually quite low.  The difficult part is having infallible evidence.  

[Mahone]

Iggy

 

Just out of curiosity, does your stance on swearing extend to those who swear as a result of vocal tourettes, or your stance of an excessive body odor extend to those who have a physical medical condition that means they sweat to the point that it is beyond their control, and repeated washing makes little difference?

 

Where do you draw the line? Or is your stance complete zero tolerance?

[Iggy]

Oh for goodness sakes.

 

Mirkwood - I am not looking for a fight. I was just trying to express my opinion and have that opinion understood. Understood does NOT equate to agree.

 

Str8Shooter - I have reported this person to the legal authorities. I took pictures of all of the vehicles visiting for under 2 minutes, three pictures per vehicle. Of it arriving, of this person greeting the car with a small parcel, then vehicle leaving. All of the pictures are date/time stamped. At my cost (SD memory cards are not really cheap). Our Branch President prefers to wait until this person is arrested and charged. This person has moved out of my neighborhood - now she is someone else's problem.

 

Mahone - I have never been around someone with tourettes, but I doubt I would have a stance on that. Just as I am not critical of those who have a mental disorder: Mentally Challanged, etc. As for excessive body odor - it is MY home, MY car. I can refuse entrance to any one I choose. IF I should happen to meet someone with that excessive body odor that is a result of a medical condition, then we can meet outside. My older sister and older brother have had chemical changes in their systems that pretty much nullify deodorants and if they use antiperspirants their underarm pores swell up and get infected, as do mine. I also have run the gamut of deoderants and they just don't work anymore. So, what the three of us do to keep from stinking is several times during the day - we wash our pits with soap and water. I prefer to use Hibiclens - it is effective and I don't break out like I do with bar soaps. Then I rub my dried pits with baking soda. Then I rub in Gold Bond. 

 

Where do I draw the line? That is between me and my Lord and Savior. The only ZERO tolerance stance I have is regarding recreational drug abusers and child molesters. 

[mirkwood]

OK.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Iggy, I mean this as a light-hearted question not an attack.

 

You said are not critical of people with mental disorders. And this thread was started because of your stance about swearing.

 

So I'm wondering, I am an active member of the church.  I use the "d" word a few times a week (and a couple others but less).  It's not much, but it is swearing and I find it very stress relieving....BUT...I also have a mental disorder (a couple actually).  I have PTSD, and Dissociative Identity Disorder (seriously, you can read about it on my blog, link is in my sig line).  So does that mean you would forgive me for swearing?  

 

And---just musing here--but even with drug users and child molesters an extreme stance may not be warranted.  Drug users can often be victims of abuse looking for some way to cope with the pain.  This is not the ideal way of course, but it is very common.  And child molesters are often also survivors of abuse...being abused as a child really messes with your mind.  I work with teenage sex offenders, and the research is promising that some of them can be completely rehabilitated.  The adult sex offenders though...I would like to see them all get life in prison.  Still, perhaps these extenuating circumstance are why the Lord told us not to judge.

 

Just "forgive and let go" Iggy.  (Sorry, I'm laughing at myself now, because I hate it when people give me that advice, I'm only repeating it teasingly.) 

 

I wonder if all of us have some "extreme attitudes" we need to re-evaluate?  Perhaps that would be an interesting topic for another thread, or we could hijack this one to take some pressure off or you.  :)  I think my extreme attitude would be gossip.  I really have no patience or tolerance for people that are intentionally unkind.  But perhaps I should rethink that....maybe they have inner pain that causes them to behave that way?  I don't know.  Interesting things to ponder.

 

Anyone else what to volunteer your own extreme attitude and then consider why you should let it go?  Be brave now...  

[Iggy]

As a light-hearted response ~ It is the responsibility of the person who committed the sin to own up to their actions, repent sincerely, and ask Heavenly Father for forgiveness. 

 

IF he/she transgressed against me - then in the repentance process he/she must make amends to me when it will cause no more harm. 

 

What is the Lord's standards for child abusers? 

 

Didn't realize that I was coming across as NOT FORGIVING - sorry about that. Big misunderstanding there. I meant to be NOT FORGETTING. The offender transgressed against innocents (not necessarily me) but I was witness of either the deed or the aftermath - so I am standing in extreme attitude of never letting this offender have the opportunity to transgress against me? To do me harm, injustice, sin against me? What I am doing is preventing this offender from having a opportunity to do that to me. Thus, I have learned from witnessing and hearing from their victims and am protecting myself. 

 

Okay - I don't see anything here that a Church Council would shake their fingers at me for, or call me to repent of my extreme attitude. 

 

I don't watch programs that have excess swearing and foul language. Let's go back many, many years to the sitcom Good Times. I refused to let my then under 12 yr old step son watch it when he was with us - the kids on that show were disrespectful, rude to adults and obnoxious. When my step-son acted out like JJ from the show, he got grounded. I don't watch shows like Chicago PD - where law enforcement officers break the law and get rewarded for it. I also don't read or watch movies about children being possessed by demons. For one, it is gross. Two it is not possible for an innocent child under the age of 8 to be used by Satan. God does not allow it. I also don't subject myself to music that is grating, disrespectful and overly loud and obnoxious. 

 

So why should I repent of these standards? There is no reason for me to Forgive and Let Go, really. 

[Bini]

Just skimming through the above posts.

 

 

Regarding sex offenders, specifically, I don't have anything to forgive because they have not offended me but I will certainly do everything in my power to prevent something potentially happening to my 2.5 year old daughter. I don't really care what point of repentance or rehab he/she is in, that's none of my business, but you'd better believe that I'll be wiser when it comes to allowing a convicted sex offender in my home and around my daughter. It's not going to happen, and that's my choice as a mother, and that has nothing to do with not forgiving. That's just weighing out the options and choosing the "caution" side over the "eh, whatever" side.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Iggy, I was just trying to lighten things up.  And be a little philosophical...I think you misunderstood me.

 

Bini, I agree with you.  If I said something that made you think otherwise, I misspoke. 

[Bini]

LP, I was actually trying to touch on what Iggy had conveyed earlier about keeping distance from x because of a lifestyle choice or actions that contradict Iggy's beliefs. Though I might have worded such an opinion differently, I see nothing wrong with choosing to avoid people that are perhaps negative influences on, or potential dangers to your life. Apart of life is knowing where to draw the line, and every draws it differently, but as long as one understands we're all imperfect (including oneself), you've kept yourself grounded and know there's always room for improvement.

[Iggy]

Iggy, I was just trying to lighten things up.  And be a little philosophical...I think you misunderstood me.

I think I did too - misunderstand - it is difficult when all there are are the written words.

 

I do sooooo much better when I am face to face. For most of my life I have had hearing loss. So I learned to read body language and lips. It is amazing that so many people say one thing with their words, yet their body language says the opposite. Ever watch the show Lie To Me? I loved that show - it validated everything for me. I never realized that I was that attuned to the ticks, twitches, etc.

 

People who have perfect hearing don't realize that those of us who wear hearing aids need to have you talk to our faces. Hearing aids are receptors- they magnify the speakers voice. Think of it this way - if you take the microphone and put it at the back of your head and then talk, can people in the back of the room/auditorium hear you? So when a person is wearing hearing aids, talk to the face.

 

It is very easy for me to discern when someone is lying to me. Husband has helped me to keep still at that time. I will tug at his sleeve, or take his hand and squeeze. He will then help to shorten the conversation and get me away from the situation. If he doesn't, then I will body slam the person. I have adopted a saying that Hubby is very fond of using, he learned it from his Great Uncle: Rather than call some one a liar - you say: They are a stranger to the truth. I have also said to someone when I know that what they have just related to me is a lie: (With a questionable look on my face- eye brows raised) *This is a Tall Tale, isn't it?* 

 

So even though I have extreme attitudes regarding some things, I am learning to have some tact and discretion. 

 

Thus for me to discern your lightness- it is hard with just words. 

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Yes, I love Lie to Me!

 

I agree communication in general is fraught with difficulty, and written communication even more so. 

 

:)