People going inactive

[Sunday21]

I'm a Ward Missionary currently and part of my calling is keeping my region's (I take a geographical section of our ward as my area) faith strengthened.  I'm not just focusing on inactives and investigators.  I'm focused on actives as well.  So, I hold a party at my house once a month for them to come over and just feel part of something if they need it.  We're having one tomorrow.  All of the active families in my region are coming as well as one inactive family.  This is gonna be a first.  Usually, only half of them are interested in coming. That's 8 families all in all.  It's a potluck so not much work from me except to clean the house and open the doors.  I am recycling lessons for these parties... tomorrow's lesson is a lesson I gave long time ago when I still taught in RS.

 

Sometimes, all that is needed is just an open door outside of church to feel that you can hang your hat somewhere and take a break from all that's bugging us.

Good for you!

[dahlia]

Sometimes I wonder what Church I joined. I'm on a FB LDS site and seemingly all the people do is complain about the people in their ward, how their kids are bullied (in SUNDAY SCHOOL???), how no one talks to them, etc. One of my friends in my ward said it wasn't unusual behavior for people in Utah, where going to church is seen as a very social thing, rather than a religious ritual.

 

I can see where people might want to go inactive with that kind of behavior going on, what I don't understand is why that behavior is going on in church and RS. I don't want to hear that the Church is perfect, the people aren't. OK, fine. But even imperfect people can be civil to each other.

 

It's a little scary to read what's going on in other wards out there.

[The Folk Prophet]

Sometimes I wonder what Church I joined. I'm on a FB LDS site and seemingly all the people do is complain about the people in their ward, how their kids are bullied (in SUNDAY SCHOOL???), how no one talks to them, etc. One of my friends in my ward said it wasn't unusual behavior for people in Utah, where going to church is seen as a very social thing, rather than a religious ritual.

 

I can see where people might want to go inactive with that kind of behavior going on, what I don't understand is why that behavior is going on in church and RS. I don't want to hear that the Church is perfect, the people aren't. OK, fine. But even imperfect people can be civil to each other.

 

It's a little scary to read what's going on in other wards out there.

 

You need to understand that the ones who are like this are also the vocal ones and it does not necessarily represent the membership at large in Utah. That being said, people are sinners all over. That is true even in the true church. I agree with you that it should not be going on. But there are lost souls in the active church just as much as there are lost souls in the inactive church and lost souls outside of the church.

[classylady]

We have very few people in our ward that fall away. I live in the suburbs half way between Salt Lake City and Provo, and most of my neighbors are LDS. In my area, if someone does go inactive, they usually still have a belief in the church, but they allow something or some event to keep them from attending meetings. They usually come back. For those members in my ward that have gone through divorces, they have not gone inactive.  In fact, they receive a lot of support from the ward. I'm blessed to live in the area I live in. We are truly a ward family.  We mourn with those that mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice.

 

It's been my experience that those who truly fall away, they were looking for any excuse to leave.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

His wife left him for a nonmember. Perhaps he is embarrassed. Sometimes with the new emphasis in class on sharing your own experiences it can be tough. "Can anyone think of a time, when you really needed Heavenly Father's support?" I sometimes feel that I should stop sharing. We are a small ward with small classes- it's embarrassing to be honest about your trials. For most of the long time members others have seen us at our most vulnerable - post divorce, coping with illness, unemployment... It's hard to face people when your life is falling apart.

 

I often wish that as members we felt more comfortable sharing what we are dealing with.  When you are going through something difficult, wouldn't it be easier to go to church with others who are struggling too (which is the truth) that the appearance of going to church with people who have no problems.  

 

Sadly I've had many friends fall away over the years, and one thing I see that they have in common is this:

When they start doubting their faith, they don't tell anyone.  They struggle alone until they make the decision to stay or fall away...then they tell people.  BUT I have often thought that if they would have shared what they were dealing with someone could have helped.  

 

Such a shame that we feel like we need to hide our weaknesses.  

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

It's been my experience that those who truly fall away, they were looking for any excuse to leave.

 

 

That has not been the case for my friends.  With my friends (and me--though I didn't actually go inactive, I considered it).  People struggle and question their faith for any number of reasons.

[Lakumi]

Such a shame that we feel like we need to hide our weaknesses.  

 

Yes keeping that in is good for no one, I don't anymore and I am thankful for that, though no one really knows what to do with me and my weird issues lol (I wouldn't tell a Bishop "I have an irrational hatred of so and so or I don't like this and that"

People don't generally deal with that sort of stuff, do any of your wards have an angry loner?

[dahlia]

Speaking of going inactive, what about this situation - pretend I'm 65-75 yrs old. I pay my tithing, enjoy the whole Sunday block, and participate as interested in RS activities, but I do not want to VT any more. Nor do I want a calling (unless it is something easy like setting up missionary dinners). I'm OK with visits, but maybe every other month.

 

Is that considered going inactive? I hate to say it folks, but at some point, I'm just gonna say 'no' to some of this stuff.

[Guest]

Speaking of going inactive, what about this situation - pretend I'm 65-75 yrs old. I pay my tithing, enjoy the whole Sunday block, and participate as interested in RS activities, but I do not want to VT any more. Nor do I want a calling (unless it is something easy like setting up missionary dinners). I'm OK with visits, but maybe every other month.

Is that considered going inactive? I hate to say it folks, but at some point, I'm just gonna say 'no' to some of this stuff.

No, that's not going inactive. That's just staying within your comfort zone...

Just a teensy comment - the gospel of Christ is about Love. Love of God and Love of Others like unto Ourselves. Sometimes loving others as we love ourselves need a small step outside our comfort zones... So church sometimes puts you out there a bit....

[The Folk Prophet]

Speaking of going inactive, what about this situation - pretend I'm 65-75 yrs old. I pay my tithing, enjoy the whole Sunday block, and participate as interested in RS activities, but I do not want to VT any more. Nor do I want a calling (unless it is something easy like setting up missionary dinners). I'm OK with visits, but maybe every other month.

 

Is that considered going inactive? I hate to say it folks, but at some point, I'm just gonna say 'no' to some of this stuff.

 

There's no question that the gospel will always push us. I think our general attitude needs to fall in line with not running faster than able, but we should also always be looking to lengthen our stride just that much more. It works much like any process of improvement. Take fitness -- if someone is out of shape and then they jump cold turkey into a full body-builder's workout and diet it will kill them...almost literally. But over the years I have moved further and further towards eating and working out in this manner and, except in choices where I have specifically determined not to, I practically live and eat that way all the time now and it really is not that burdensome.

 

So it might be with these things. The church and all we need to do can be overwhelming. But if we take it line upon line and work to lengthen our stride day by day without running faster than able, we will constantly progress towards improvement. Add to this that the gospel has the added advantage of the Holy Spirit working alongside our righteous efforts to actually change our hearts and, eventually, we will become perfect (though not in this life, most likely :) ).

 

So don't write off your abilities. You are capable of more than you think. Or, more accurately, with the Lord on your side, who is capable of all things, you are capable of more than you think.

[dahlia]

 

 

So don't write off your abilities. You are capable of more than you think. 

I know I'm capable of a lot. I've already proved that to myself and others. In my twilight years, I just don't want to be bothered with a lot of church obligations. I just wanna go to Sacrament Meeting and feed the missionaries once a month.

[Traveler]

Sometimes I wonder what Church I joined. I'm on a FB LDS site and seemingly all the people do is complain about the people in their ward, how their kids are bullied (in SUNDAY SCHOOL???), how no one talks to them, etc. One of my friends in my ward said it wasn't unusual behavior for people in Utah, where going to church is seen as a very social thing, rather than a religious ritual.

 

I can see where people might want to go inactive with that kind of behavior going on, what I don't understand is why that behavior is going on in church and RS. I don't want to hear that the Church is perfect, the people aren't. OK, fine. But even imperfect people can be civil to each other.

 

It's a little scary to read what's going on in other wards out there.

 

there is a story about a couple that were driving around a neighborhood in Utah that they were thinking of moving into.  They saw a gentleman working in his yard and decided to talk to him.  The asked the man what the ward was like.  The man looked at the couple and asked them about their current ward.  The couple said that their current ward was full of backbiting, gossipers and complainers - they had to move.  The man sadly replied that they best not move into his ward because they will just find more of the same. 

 

A few days later another couple checking out the neighborhood stopped to take to the same man and asked the same question.  The man again asked what their ward was like.  They said that their current ward was wonderful and such a loving and caring ward that they are sad to leave.  The man said that his ward was the perfect ward for them to move to because they would find a loving and caring ward just like the one they were leaving.

 

Moral of this post.  In my experience (with some very little exception) what most people find in their ward is a reflection of themselves more than what is going on in their ward.

[The Folk Prophet]

I know I'm capable of a lot. I've already proved that to myself and others. In my twilight years, I just don't want to be bothered with a lot of church obligations. I just wanna go to Sacrament Meeting and feed the missionaries once a month.

 

I can't wait to be able to start going on missions with my wife. Hope to do that consistently in my old age until the Alzheimer's sets in (which it likely will based on family history) and I die of prostrate cancer (which I likely will based on family history).

[Guest]

Just got done with the party. It was super awesome. If it wasn't a school night nobody would leave before midnight except the missionaries. I think we're finally "geling".