imlds123 Posted May 24, 2014 Report Share Posted May 24, 2014 I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, he was born in the church but inactive all his high school years, when I met him I brought him back to church but he sill had the same mentality, we fell in love and started doing things that weren't right. We didn't have sex but we kept doing sexual things. Later in our relationship we wanted to get serious with the gospel so we started going every Sunday, we confessed our sins, we were better... but then one day we fell into those sins again. Then we confessed and everything was fine again. We were doing fine for a while then we fell into it again as we became inactive for a while, I once again decided to confess and our bishop was really understanding, he gave me 4 months to repentance process and gave my boyfriend 6 months because right now we're both preparing for a mission, it's been three months clean and just last night we fell into it again! I feel so horrible, I feel like I don't deserve to be forgiven, I'm so embarrassed, I'm so scared to confess because everyone knows I'm planning to serve and I'm scared that the mission will be delayed, I'm also scared of what will happen with my relationship, we both plan on getting married after our missions but I know that the way we're doing things isn't right, I need help and I want to know if there's anyone who has been in this exact situation because I honestly feel like I'm the only one on earth dealing with this.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted May 24, 2014 Report Share Posted May 24, 2014 You need to spend very little time alone. The strength of youth pamphlet which your bishop can give you or may be available on lds.org has suggestions on how to avoid tempting situations. In general, you two should not be alone together. Call, text, go for walks in public places, talk in coffee shops, library, park bench but spend no time in a situation where you can get it on. No driving together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imlds123 Posted May 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2014 Thank you so much, that really helps me, I will talk to my bishop tomorrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted May 24, 2014 Report Share Posted May 24, 2014 Thank you so much, that really helps me, I will talk to my bishop tomorrowThink of the situation like a diet. Don't be alone with a bag of chocolate chip cookies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted May 24, 2014 Report Share Posted May 24, 2014 You probably will not like my advice... but here it goes.  Break up with him and they stay far far away from him. I am sure you are asking why and going to protest how much you love each other... My response is do you love him more then the Lord? You have tried and failed to be together without transgressing. If you are truly repentant you will not be trying to figure out how close you and your boyfriend can be without crossing the line... You would be trying to get as far from the line as you can. Flee like Joseph fled Poitier's wife... Pluck him out of your life, as the Lord commands when he talks about your eye or hand offending you. You are both young (pre-mission presumably for you as well) there are other people out there you can date and get to know when the time is right, stay away from the habit of sin the two of you have developed together. Leah and omegaseamaster75 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imlds123 Posted May 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2014 Do you think we can end up together I'm the future, like after our missions if we break up now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted May 24, 2014 Report Share Posted May 24, 2014 Do you think we can end up together I'm the future, like after our missions if we break up now...  Its possible but I would not give it very high odds.. nor do I think it a wise idea in your case Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Do you think we can end up together I'm the future, like after our missions if we break up now...One of my Fav love stories is Seth Adam Smith... Although before I jump to the card with that love story on it, I firmly believe every single person should read THIS before they tie the knot:http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/And it's not just me. Millions and millions of people from all over the globe have gone "THIS!" with this posting, because it's one of those rare "Pure Truth" things that bob to the surface every once in awhile. Things that we all (most) of us learn, but is so rarely out into words. Much less put Ito the exact right words. Okay... And now the "Can we end up together?" Part in 2 pieces:1) http://sethadamsmith.com/2012/02/27/best-wedding-announcement-ever/This is really typical of MANY of my friends & family, although it's really rare in general. Why rare? Because most people aren't meant to be together. But it's practically tradition in my family to take the "time & distance test" before marriage. My own parents dated for 5 years through 3 continents, only spending about 1 year together in total during that time. One set of aunt/uncle did grad school in the US & UK (7 years!) apart before marriage. It's rare in general because- People change- Absence makes the heart grow fonder OR (more commonly) absence makes the heart forgetful. Out of sight out of mind. That's not real love. It may be lust, liking, curiosity, convienence, desire, or desperation... But it's not love. So MOST people's experience with time off & long distance relationships... Is that they don't work. Because it's not real love. In my family, that's true, too. Yes. Most of their MARRIAGES did the time & distance test, but countless relationships failed that test. ((I didn't, by the way. I did the "Marry in haste, repent at leisure" track. Ignorin promptings to break up, ignoring promoting a to divorce, for more than 10 years. Hence the length of this post. Nobody but nobody wants others to not make the same mistakes they did more than a divorced person. Don't be me. Don't make my mistakes. They hurt too much.))2)You've heard the People come into our live forA reasonA seasonOrA lifetime?You won't know, until much later, if your boyfriend is in your life (and you in his) for a reason, a season, or a lifetime for YEARS to come. If you're meant to be, and you work for it, it will happen. If it isn't?That's not something to mourn. That's something to be grateful to both HF & each other for the season spent, and for NOT ruining both your lives by trying to force a thig which shouldn't happen. If it is?Then it will happen. There is nothing to be afraid of. Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imlds123 Posted May 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Thank you, as of right now we're broken up. We decided to work on our selves for a while and see where things lead us. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Do you think we can end up together I'm the future, like after our missions if we break up now...This is going to sound brutal, but . . . Why would you want to end up with someone who doesn't bring out the best in you?Maybe, in time, your (ex?) boyfriend will be that kind of person. But that isn't who he is right now (and as far as he's concerned, that's not who you are right now, either). Marrying someone (heck, dating someone) who you know falls short of your standards, and justifying that dismissal of your own standards with assurances of what you hope that person will one day become, is a very poor idea. Sunday21, Quin and pam 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Totally agree with what JAG has to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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