Body-Shaming

[SpiritDragon]

So once again the good being called evil thing has reared its ugly head.

 

When did respecting yourself enough to cover up become some terrible wrong suggesting being ashamed of your body or the human form in general? Why is it repressive and not dignified for parents to teach and expect their children not to dress for the wrong kind of attention? Should places of employment and educational institutions not be allowed to set dress standards?

 

What are your thoughts/experiences with modesty being called body-shaming?

[Guest]

I love this comment from my friend, wherein she was referring to a different prism of body image, but I think still applies: 

 

 

 

I'm going to do my darnedest to pass this kind of message onto my kids, especially my daughters. Despite a whirlwind of opposing messages they receive every single day from everywhere else, I hope in their core they will know their bodies are an instrument for doing good, not the thing they need to focus on in and of itself.

[Quin]

I know.

One of the things I miss about living in the Middle East is the abaya / burka.

I don't understand why western women think it's this terrible thing. It's about respecting your body, not being ashamed of it.

Ahem.

I actually DO like wearing an abaya (which is required by law in the KSA)... Becuase I get to become invisable in public (and I can wear a bikini under it if I so choose... Women do wear an exceptionally wide variants of clothes underneath). Bt if you're serious about your Q spiritDragon... All you have to do is

- look for a culture which requires a higher level of modesty than ours. to understand why people feel our own modesty level is repressive.

- blame "The Society for Rational Dress" (late 1800s), which claimed (correctly) that corsets and other exceptionally restrictive clothing made for women was physically damaging... Which kicked off the rational,dress movement in western society.

- a smidge of blame goes to WWI... Which created both fabric shortages, and jobs for women (factory workers in the US, Ambulamce drivers in the UK, resistance fighters in the EU)... And an entire generation of PTSD that fell into the roaring 20s.

[Guest]

What are your thoughts/experiences with modesty being called body-shaming?

 

I personally have none.

 

I frankly don't understand the sentiment.  I don't understand how somebody who is proud of having the power to choose to wear next-to-nothing feel that the power to choose to wear the entire window-drapes is repressive.

[Gretchen]

I personally have none.

 

I frankly don't understand the sentiment.  I don't understand how somebody who is proud of having the power to choose to wear next-to-nothing feel that the power to choose to wear the entire window-drapes is repressive.

 

The main argument of the body-shaming is that if you liked your body, you'd show it off, and because you're hiding it (i.e dressing modestly), you must hate it.

 

Counter-argument: you have a gorgeous, diamond studded, skillfully crafted bracelet. You really like it because it's pretty, and you are very proud of it. Would you wear it all the time, or would you say there's a time and a place to wear it?

 

Are not people more precious than bracelets?

[pam]

I'm understanding the sentiment as being:  As the world thinks, "If you've got it flaunt it."  If you don't then you must be ashamed of your body.  However, I don't think going to the extreme of burkas is necessary.

[Just_A_Guy]

"Body shame" is a part of our society; and for the most part--it's completely acceptable.  If it weren't, you'd see lots of fat guys wearing speedos at your local pool.

 

Whether they admit it (or are even aware of it) or not, the people who accuse us of "body shame" don't really want us to be comfortable with--and willing to display--our bodies.  They want us to be comfortable with--and willing to display--our sexuality.

[pam]

"Body shame" is a part of our society; and for the most part--it's completely acceptable.  If it weren't, you'd see lots of fat guys wearing speedos at your local pool.

 

 

 

"Shudders violently"

[Guest]

I'm understanding the sentiment as being:  As the world thinks, "If you've got it flaunt it."  If you don't then you must be ashamed of your body.  However, I don't think going to the extreme of burkas is necessary.

 

Unless, of course, you're a particular sect of Muslim.

[pam]

Unless, of course, you're a particular sect of Muslim.

 

But of course.  That goes without saying.

[Guest]

But of course.  That goes without saying.

 

A woman who works in my company wears one if some would say about how she must have hideous hair, etc. I can imagine her just laughing out loud in response.  But then, she's a very strong, smart, confident woman.

[pam]

I know you didn't say this anatess, just making a comment.  :)

 

I have never thought that those who wear them due to their culture are ashamed of their bodies.  I just assume it's because of their culture. 

[Guest]

I know you didn't say this anatess, just making a comment.   :)

 

I have never thought that those who wear them due to their culture are ashamed of their bodies.  I just assume it's because of their culture. 

 

Yes, it's very cultural... but some people within their culture also indulge in the body-shaming exercise, but in the opposite manner... making the women feel ashamed of their bodies to put them in conformance.  Make sense?

 

And also, some women in a subset of that culture express themselves through hand paintings... and there's a bit of that body-shaming thing there too for those who don't paint their hands.  (Okay, I only read this in a book, so I don't really know how rare this is).

 

I guess people are people in whatever culture - whether in burqa or bikini...

[Jenamarie]

Body shaming can come from both the world in general and from within a "modest" society.

 

The world gives the message "If you've got it, flaunt it! And if you don't have it, there's something wrong with you." (think of fat shaming, the pressure for women to undergo surgeries to have larger breasts, color their hair, hide their wrinkles. etc.)

 

Within modesty, I've seen right on this board people advocating for women with larger breasts to wear looser, more camouflaging clothing than would be require of others (as if there's something inherently immodest about the natural female shape). The idea that the female body MUST be camouflaged or else be deemed "immodest" is a mind-set I've run into from time to time in "modesty" circles (both LDS and nonLDS).

 

The Adversary loves nothing more than to take something Godly and twist it into something harmful. Modesty is not immune.

[SpiritDragon]

"Body shame" is a part of our society; and for the most part--it's completely acceptable.  If it weren't, you'd see lots of fat guys wearing speedos at your local pool.

 

Whether they admit it (or are even aware of it) or not, the people who accuse us of "body shame" don't really want us to be comfortable with--and willing to display--our bodies.  They want us to be comfortable with--and willing to display--our sexuality.

 

Amen to that. I was recently hearing about how awful it is for people to suggest that someone dress a certain way because of thoughts it could cause others to have (ie wrong to suggest girls are not to dress skimpy because it might make boys have sinful thoughts). While I do tend to agree that there are better reasons such as simply respecting your body and so forth, I also hear the words of Elder Oaks, "And young women, please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you."

 

There is definitely a double standard out there when it comes to larger than ideal individuals. We have a rule at work for our fitness staff not to wear booty shorts, but no one enforces it because they don't mind toned booties running around. If we did have an overweight staff member attempt it however, I guarantee the rule would get enforced.