Turned 30 and decided to do this.

[Bini]

I am wanting to find my birth parents after three decades of not knowing who they are. I was adopted as an infant just days old from the Philippines into a European family. I grew up with loving parents and loving siblings, and I seldom questioned who I was. But that changed over time, as I became an adult, and became a parent myself - I wanted to know more about where I came from and the two people that brought me into this world. No matter how many times I assure my adoptive mother that I love her, and that no one can or will ever replace her, the idea of me searching for my birth parents pains her deeply. Because of this, she has chosen to share few details with me about my adoption process, and this has left a big void in myself. I have also tried to approach my father, but out of respect for my mother, he chooses to remain tight-lipped.

I do have bits and pieces of my past. Unfortunately, my birth certificate is not helpful, as I have learned that the names of my birth parents are not accurate. It's complicated but basically I was given a temp name (before the adoption process began) that was actually the name of the nurse that cared for me and her husband. Moreno. Not sure why but for awhile there, my family told me that this name was the name of my biological parents, but later it was confirmed that it wasn't and that no one knew who my birth parents are. I was an abandoned child and was found and brought to the hospital by an LDS couple (yeh what were the odds of that!). I pretty much have no leads, and not sure where to begin this seemingly impossible endeavour.

I have started searching online for agencies that find birth parents, but most of the US based ones only find birth parents within the US and not outside of it. I have found a couple agencies (not sure how reputable they are) that claim to find international birth parents, but when I scanned down the countries they cover, the Philippines was not one of them.

My husband is supporting me on this, and I'm planning on starting a GoFundMe account to try and raise money for detective work. I'm not even sure how much something like this would cost. I suppose I should start with the first step - find an agency. If you're reading this, and have ever participated in something like it, please I would very much appreciate your thoughts and pointers.

I know these things can take years, literally. But I'm hoping someone somewhere will recall something about me now 30 years ago. I would love to see where I came from, and who I look like (my mother or father), and meet siblings and extended family. It would be awesome for my daughter that has been greatly blessed, being born and raised in America all because of me having been adopted by a wonderful family, to meet her blood relatives and see a different culture.

Thanks guys.

[Wingnut]

Have you tried tracking down the nurse (Moreno)?  Is there a chance that she might have some information?  I wish you the best of luck in this journey!

 

(And I'm glad to see you on here!)

[PolarVortex]

Fasten your seat belt, because it may be a bumpy ride.  I'd also invite you to think hard about how this will affect your real mother and father (not your biological parents).  I have a friend who was adopted and he decided to seek his biological parents in Ireland.  When he found them, he acted as if he had won the lottery... and his adopted parents were very badly hurt.  They are still healing, and my friend is now distant from both sets of parents and is quite miserable.

 

But if I were adopted, I'd be curious, too.  Wishing you well.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/06/magazine/i-found-my-biological-parents-and-wish-i-hadnt.html

[Windseeker]

I used fly with a Korean flight attendant who's husband was born in Korea and adopted at a young age. He was raised in the U.S. When they got engaged, cheap flights made it easy for him to return to Korea and look for his birth parents. He ended up finding his mother who bragged to the whole town about her rich American son (American yes..Rich? No) and demanded he care for her. This Korean flight attendant was super irritated that she abandoned her husband and now demanded he care for her, his mother even demanded that she be the one to walk him down the aisle at their wedding and the adoptive American parents reluctantly stepped aside to accommodate her. 

 

I'm not trying to discourage you, but just try to be realistic and understand it might not turn out how you expect. I also feel for your adoptive parents and feel like they are making a mistake by withholding information. Sometimes love means letting go, something most divorced parents have to cope with as children are torn between the two. My sister is supportive of her adoptive daughter in this way and has even taken her to see her brothers and sisters and mother at the age of 10. 

 

I've shared the story about my first wife (Adopted from Thailand) and feel we were led to find the truth about her circumstances. We found the Nurse who was there when she was born and got the story of her parents. We didn't get any names however. 

 

I do think it would be cool for my kids to meet their possible cousins, aunts and uncles and even grandparents in Thailand. If they are interested I will help them do so. I look at my family tree and feel bad that my children are missing half their tree when it comes to tracing their genes. 

 

One bit of advice we were given in Thailand is to contact the media in the birth country, they love a good story and will sometimes provide resources to help you if they can televise the story.

 

Good luck in your search. 

[notquiteperfect]

I was going to suggest reaching out to Troy Dunn but I'm not sure if he does international situations.  At any rate, best of luck and it's nice to see you here again.

[Just_A_Guy]

I recently attended a professional conference where one of the presenters was with International Social Service-USA.  The presentation was geared towards finding placements with overseas family members for children who are in state custody, but they also seem to do post-adoption tracings.  Can't vouch for the quality of their work; but if they're doing presentations to lawyers and judges I'd assume they at least aren't a fly-by-night operation. 

Edited September 25, 2014 by Just_A_Guy

[Pa Pa]

I grew for the fist years of my life with a different last name. When my mother found out that he had married another woman and fathered a child, she started moving toward divorce. By the time I was 5, I had a new father and a new last name...along with my sister and brother. As a result of his actions we found ourselves evicted as he took all the money in their accounts to flee to Texas, as what he did was a crime. There were times I wanted to know what he looked like or what his personality was like. I never did so because I had a wonderful father who adopted my brother and sister.

I found that when my bio-father died that my sister had gone to introduce herself again to him...as her little brother I went to help her get through the funeral. When I met my wife she had a baby girl and her bio-father (my daughter's), because of the great man who made me his own, it a simple thing for me to adopt my oldest daughter. So I approach this as someone who knows what it means to be adopted and as one who did "adopt" my oldest. She is now 40 and has given her mother and I 5 beautiful grandchildren. I can tell you that if my daughter tried to contact her bio-father without telling, it would a serious betrayal!

Also, I still knew where to find my Pa Pa Nation, and could have found him, but again did not feel the need to do this. Later in life I met my half-sister and brother, but it was not like having family. Sometimes it is good to do it just to get the romance (mystery) out of the entire event. So precede with prayer and caution, you above all are the one that could be hurt. But above remember this...trust your parents and seek out their advice.

Hope this helps...

Bill Lee (formally Bill Nation)

Atlanta, GA.

[Bini]

Sorry, apparently I'm having log in problems.

 

 

Wingnut, the nurse did not know anything. The people that knew the most information was the couple that found me in an area near their home. I didn't have a note, nothing, I was barely swaddled from what they tell. It's all weird because some days I don't even think about this stuff, and other days, I'll sit and just tear up.

[Pa Pa]

It is difficult, I know. It can mess with your self-esteem. Sometimes you wonder who are the angels and who are not. Those who adopt (and do so for the right reasons)...are those who will reap the rewards of the added family and blessings and whom God will call, "mine good and faithful servant". So as one who knows the blessings and the heartaches and all of the unanswered questions, I will ask that our Father-in-Heaven and he who becomes so by adoption (See Mosiah 5: 7)...because I know the questions that all in yours and my position would want to know.

God Bless You. :)

You and I were lucky to have come into the lives of our parents so young that all we know is their love and little of rejection.

Sunday night my daughter, who was "born of my heart" was talking about a friend who is seeking adoption. My 8 year old granddaughter was getting confused, and went over and whispered into her Mother's ear a question that I knew the answer to already. I told her; "sweetie, I chose your mother to be my child and in so doing gave my life purpose and gave me you as well". It was difficult for any in the room to hold back the tears of joy.

[Sunny49]

Hi have you tried www.registry.adoption.com I know several people who have created a profile there and then their families find them. I hope it helps!