Ladies, Your Husbands Really Do LOVE You.

[Guest]

Here's a cool article circulating around the internet.  I for one second this husband's take on the situation.  A woman went to a photographer and asked for some "boudoir" photos to give to her husband.  But she asked the photographer (Victoria) to photoshop extensively, like magazine photos are done.  This is the husband's response.

 

Hi Victoria,

 

I am ____’s husband, _____. I am writing to you because I recently received an album containing images you took of my wife. I don’t want you to think that I am in any way upset with you… but I have some food for thought that I would like to pass on to you.

 

I have been with my wife since we were 18 years old, and we have two beautiful children together. We have had many ups and downs over the years, and I think… well, actually I KNOW that my wife did these pictures for me to “spice things up”. She sometimes complains that I must not find her attractive, that she wouldn’t blame me if I ever found someone younger.

 

When I opened the album that she gave to me, my heart sank. These pictures… while they are beautiful and you are clearly a very talented photographer… they are not my wife. You made every one of her “flaws” disappear…and while I’m sure this is exactly what she asked you to do, it took away everything that makes up our life.

 

When you took away her stretch marks, you took away the documentation of my children. When you took away her wrinkles, you took away over two decades of our laughter, and our worries. When you took away her cellulite, you took away her love of baking and all the goodies we have eaten over the years.

 

I am not telling you all of this to make you feel horrible, you’re just doing your job and I get that. I am actually writing you to thank you. Seeing these images made me realize that I honestly do not tell my wife enough how much I LOVE her and adore her just as she is. She hears it so seldom, that she actually thought these photoshopped images are what I wanted and needed her to look like.

 

I have to do better, and for the rest of my days I am going to celebrate her in all her imperfectness. Thanks for the reminder.

Regards,
______

.

.

BTW, Mrs. Carb is perfect.     

[pam]

I've seen that going around facebook.  I love the husband's response.

[LeSellers]

Mrs. Carb is perfect.

Yes, she is, and don't you forget it!!!

Lehi

[Bini]

I saw this circulating FB, too, and enjoyed the read.

[prisonchaplain]

Women are much harder on themselves than we would ever imagine to be.  Hey, my wife is beautiful in her own right.  However, if I ever have any doubts all I need to do is look in the mirror, and those dissipate rapidly.  It must be that women use telescopes and look at themselves with the magnifying side, and us spouses through the side that minimizes flaws. 

[Guest]

Women are much harder on themselves than we would ever imagine to be.  Hey, my wife is beautiful in her own right.  However, if I ever have any doubts all I need to do is look in the mirror, and those dissipate rapidly.  It must be that women use telescopes and look at themselves with the magnifying side, and us spouses through the side that minimizes flaws. 

 

I don't really relate to this.

 

I want to look good for my husband, of course.  But, I can't imagine him thinking less of me just because I am not at my best... or even when I'm in my worst.  I give him much better credit than that.  The dude married ME... out of all the women chasing him and has stuck with me through 18 years of ups and downs and sideways.  I feel like the Queen of the planet.

[prisonchaplain]

Anatess actually trusts her husband's judgment!  Really, isn't that the ultimate compliment?

Edited November 24, 2015 by prisonchaplain

[Guest]

I don't really relate to this.

 

I want to look good for my husband, of course.  But, I can't imagine him thinking less of me just because I am not at my best... or even when I'm in my worst.  I give him much better credit than that.  The dude married ME... out of all the women chasing him and has stuck with me through 18 years of ups and downs and sideways.  I feel like the Queen of the planet.

 

Well, in my wife's case, I was chasing her as was every other guy.  No one was chasing me.

 

Given that, shouldn't both cases be the other way around?  Irony.

Edited November 24, 2015 by Guest

[Guest]

Well, in my wife's case, I was chasing her as was every other guy.  No one was chasing me.

 

Given that, shouldn't both cases be the other way around?  Irony.

 

Doesn't matter who chased who.  You could've chased some other gal but you decided to chase her instead.  And, the fact that you even thought her worth chasing... your wife should feel a million bucks.

[Guest]

...You could've chased some other gal but you decided to chase her instead.  And, the fact that you even thought her worth chasing... your wife should feel a million bucks.

 

That's my point.

 

I was chasing her and so were many others.  But she's still afraid that I'm the one who may lose interest.  And it's not like I don't tell her every day several times how much I love and appreciate her and all she does.  It's not like I don't tell her every day how wonderful and how beautiful she is.  She just thinks I'm "delusional" but gives me a hug and a smile anyway.

 

Since she wasn't chasing me and I basically had to sell the idea of marriage to her doesn't that mean that she might lose interest in me?  Instead, she's afraid of the other way around.  I don't know what to make of that.

[Guest]

That's my point.

 

I was chasing her and so were many others.  But she's still afraid that I'm the one who may lose interest.  And it's not like I don't tell her every day several times how much I love and appreciate her and all she does.  It's not like I don't tell her every day how wonderful and how beautiful she is.  She just thinks I'm "delusional" but gives me a hug and a smile anyway.

 

Since she wasn't chasing me and I basically had to sell the idea of marriage to her doesn't that mean that she might lose interest in me?  Instead, she's afraid of the other way around.  I don't know what to make of that.

 

Meh.  People have their own insecurities.  They're the only ones that can solve that problem.  You can try until the crows turn white but until she does something about it, that's just gonna be the way it is.  Just be you.  Love your wife and allow her the freedom to be herself, insecurities and all.

Edited November 25, 2015 by anatess

[Vort]

until the crows turn white

 

What an awesome expression. Wikipedia says it's Tagalog. All I know is that I'm going to try to work it into our Thanksgiving dinner conversation.

[Guest]

I'm so thankful my husband was patient through those early, immature years of my insecurity. To be fair, every guy I'd been serious about ran around on me, and I WAS young, and I think I did the best I could at the time. He was so patient, though. Bless him.

 

Now, we've worked through so much and we've been through such trials together over the years, that what size either of us happens to be any given month is pretty insignificant. It's a good place to be. 

[Guest]

What an awesome expression. Wikipedia says it's Tagalog. All I know is that I'm going to try to work it into our Thanksgiving dinner conversation.

 

You mean, that's not a common American expression?  Hmmm... I thought that's where the Tagalog expression is from.

Edited November 25, 2015 by anatess

[classylady]

I'm so thankful my husband was patient through those early, immature years of my insecurity. To be fair, every guy I'd been serious about ran around on me, and I WAS young, and I think I did the best I could at the time. He was so patient, though. Bless him.

 

Now, we've worked through so much and we've been through such trials together over the years, that what size either of us happens to be any given month is pretty insignificant. It's a good place to be. 

 

I've been married over 34 years.  I'm very insecure about my looks and weight around my husband.  I'm very secure in other areas, but this particular insecurity, I don't know if I'll ever get over it.  It has a lot to do with my husband's continual relationship with his ex-wife.  I used to feel very confident in my looks.  I had dated a lot of men before I had ever met my husband, so I knew men were interested in me.  But, over the years of our marriage, my confidence in my looks and appeal has eroded.  I wish I felt like Eowyn where "what size either of us happens to be any given month is pretty insignificant."  That would be a good place to be!

[Guest]

I'm sorry, classylady. I know things have been hard for a lot of reasons. Lots of extenuating circumstances.