When you really don't want to go to something...

[Backroads]

I'm actually hemming and hawing about driving an hour to go to some little picnic when it's a lovely Saturday at my home and I don't really feel like going anywhere, but thought it might make an interesting discussion.

So, you have a relative/friend throwing event of minor to moderate importance, not necessarily Big Event. Distance is considerable, thought not one of those multi-hour cross-country excursions. You don't feel like going. 

Are you the type to make yourself go? Take the excuse not to? What other factors do you consider?

[Mike]

A golden rule moment? I would probably go, unless there is more that you think this reader should consider.

 

[Backroads]

1 minute ago, Mike said:

A golden rule moment? I would probably go, unless there is more that you think this reader should consider.

 

Nah, just speaking in general terms to be interpreted by each reader.

Though if I were to apply golden rule to my situation, this person would be shunned. 

[Mike]

4 minutes ago, Backroads said:

Nah, just speaking in general terms to be interpreted by each reader.

Though if I were to apply golden rule to my situation, this person would be shunned. 

Hmmm, I'm interested in more information--are you saying you would want to be shunned? Tell me, did this person extend a personal invitation to you?

Edited August 19, 2017 by Mike

[Backroads]

10 minutes ago, Mike said:

Hmmm, I'm interested in more information. Tell me, did this person extend a personal invitation to you?

The story starts many years ago.... one day, my grandmother decided to invite all her available descendants to come to her house one Sunday to eat some soup. This turned into a tradition of meeting at Grandma's for Soup Night, generally the 4th Sunday of each month. It became a big deal, and heaven help the boyfriend/girlfriend who was brought to Soup Night (basically, this was interpreted as upcoming engagement and my dear crazy uncle would interrogate the poor soul). A couple of years back, my grandmother downsized to a nice retirement home and while this did boast a few dining hall spaces that could be reserved, the rest of the family responded by scaling back Soup Night to whenever and wherever they felt like it. 

So, Cousin (who is an awesome gal) lives roughly an hour away from the rest of us and very rarely comes to Soup Night, hence the "if the golden rule were enforced here". They recently adopted a new baby and decided to host Soup Night at their place to show off new baby (whom I have already met and he is really cute, so...). I had already met new baby, we would see new baby at other things, I was feeling "I like my house and Husband is out of town and can't help me cart girls off." So, no real personal invitation beyond the generic post we all use on the family Facebook group.

Now, an update that happened whilst I was typing this. I had decided this event, despite requiring effort on my part, would ultimately be enjoyed by me and my girls and was thus something I would go to. So I was prepping my girls, responding to this while I dillied about, and a Facebook message shoots up.  Cousin is sick and afflicted and the medicine she attempted isn't cutting it, so announced the event canceled before anyone could get too far.

Edited August 19, 2017 by Backroads

[Mike]

As I began reading your last post the thought that popped into my mind was something like, "...yeah, sometimes "families are forever" is more like a threat than a promise."   Then, I wondered if Cousin's feelings would be hurt if you didn't show, and I wondered whether Cousin would gracefully accept a phone call simply saying, "sorry I won't be able to make it this time, I look forward to next time". And as I read the end I thought, "huh, problem solved".

 

[Jedi_Nephite]

 

[Fether]

4 hours ago, Mike said:

As I began reading your last post the thought that popped into my mind was something like, "...yeah, sometimes "families are forever" is more like a threat than a promise."   Then, I wondered if Cousin's feelings would be hurt if you didn't show, and I wondered whether Cousin would gracefully accept a phone call simply saying, "sorry I won't be able to make it this time, I look forward to next time". And as I read the end I thought, "huh, problem solved".

 

When so think "families are forever", I use that as an excuse to get out of seeing my family seeing that I have eternity to be with them x)

[seashmore]

In general terms, I'm more apt to go if there's free food and/or people I don't normally see on a regular basis all gathered together.

[my two cents]

What helps me is if I plan to do other things before or after that I'd prefer (ie stop at a store I don't get to very often, swing by the out-of-the-way place for a treat since it's on the way home, etc).