BornToGoodlyParents

Unable to convince family to support me converting

Recommended Posts

I began investigating in the middle of may this year. I was living at university near the end of my first year, and just walked into church one sunday. I started meeting the missionaries, reading the Book of Mormon and returned to church the following week. Except on my second visit I was crying the entirety through sacrament due to my mum telling me the night before about how she couldn’t support me joining such a bigoted and sexist church.

I’ve continued to meet missionaries while living at home, but haven’t been able to go back to church. I worry I’m wasting the missionaries time as even though I have strong positive feelings about tge church and have received promptings to ask about going, my mum and sister refuse to support me. They only know the church from the musical and some anti things which claim the church is a cult. They believe Joseph Smith was a fraud who just wanted multiple wives and people’s income, and they refuse to listen to anything saying otherwise. 

I have a couple of ny own doubts, I worry about the time commitments the church may ask or about how tithing money is used but I want to go to church. Most of the time, I want to be baptised. Right now I can’t do either of those things and I don’t know what to do. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, BornToGoodlyParents said:

I began investigating in the middle of may this year. I was living at university near the end of my first year, and just walked into church one sunday. I started meeting the missionaries, reading the Book of Mormon and returned to church the following week. Except on my second visit I was crying the entirety through sacrament due to my mum telling me the night before about how she couldn’t support me joining such a bigoted and sexist church.

I’ve continued to meet missionaries while living at home, but haven’t been able to go back to church. I worry I’m wasting the missionaries time as even though I have strong positive feelings about tge church and have received promptings to ask about going, my mum and sister refuse to support me. They only know the church from the musical and some anti things which claim the church is a cult. They believe Joseph Smith was a fraud who just wanted multiple wives and people’s income, and they refuse to listen to anything saying otherwise. 

I have a couple of ny own doubts, I worry about the time commitments the church may ask or about how tithing money is used but I want to go to church. Most of the time, I want to be baptised. Right now I can’t do either of those things and I don’t know what to do. 

It's okay. I was in a similar position when I joined the church - The amount of misinformation out there is surprising.

 

I joined and it was the best thing to happen to me. It led me on a path that has brought me a tremendous amount of joy. I don't know what specific issues your sister or mother have with the church - Ultimately, it doesn't matter - Just... Pray. Listen to the spirit and do what you know is right. Don't let fear dictate to you how you should live your life.

 

Love your sister. Love your mother. Live your life. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome  @BornToGoodlyParents

In my experience you really can not depend on convincing anyone else of what you know to be right.  Because they have the right to make a choice just like you.

The bible tells us that following Christ can put Father against Son, Mother against Daughter so your situation is not only not new... but kinda expected and predicted by Christ himself.

So what do you do? 

Well you could choose to pick your Mum and Sister over Christ... But the scriptures have some intense things to say about people who do that.

You could try to convince them with words and personal experience....  but you really do not have enough experience or knowledge at this point

You could try to live the teachings as best you know and understand...  this is doable... this is what the Scriptures call "Let your light shine."

The problem with the last one is that it can take awhile.  You really need to be an independent Adult so that you can practice and live the gospel as you see fit.  If you are a minor or if you are still dependent on your family for basic living stuff you will only be able to go as far as they will allow.  In these cases you need to gain your independence so that you can live your life on your terms.

Ultimately it is your life and your choices... they might never understand.  When they challenge you on it you need to be Christ-like in your firmness in doing the right thing and Christ-like in your love for those that would potentially act hostile toward you

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm struck be a couple of factors in the OP. First is the name @BornToGoodlyParents. It suggests that s/he honors his parents. The conflict may be more than just that it's too bad they do not support the church. There may be a true regard for their views. This family may be one that is tight knit. Additionally, the tone of the post leads me to believe the author may be a minor, or still living at home. One outlet that might help, as OP waits until s/he feels independent and certain enough to make the decision, is to chat with missionaries on Mormon.org. That way, there is less of a feeling of wasting missionary time, and yet questions can still be asked--with even less pressure. This decision is the most important one in life, so taking time to work out all the concerns, and having patience to gain certainty before deciding one way or another, might lead to a more joyful and meaningful long-term result.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BornToGoodlyParents Hi! Sorry that you are in this situation! I went through the same thing with my family. While you are at University, you can attend church without your parents knowing. As per previous message, you can talk to missionaries on Mormon.org. In terms of time commitments, I am firm that I do the things that fit into my schedule. I volunteered for a calling that I can handle and say , No to additional duties. Just be firm but polite. Good luck! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@BornToGoodlyParents

i'm very sorry you're going through this.  

The choice ultimately is yours, and yours alone - as it should be.  But i'll suggest that it's worth the discomfort of sitting down with your family for a few hours, listening to their concerns about the Mormon church (without arguing every point), and then sharing your own (without being argued at).  It's amazing - people can go almost whole lifetimes where disapproval of someone else's choices fester into disgust and mutual contempt - only because they've never taken the time and effort to understand them.  Let that contempt grow big enough, and it's really, really, really hard to erase that specter of malice we have a tendency to build up around those we disagree with.  

From where i sit, the Mormon church is a complex mixture of good and bad - just like every person is.  The Mormon church doesn't focus on their bad - and i don't think they should.  i'd just go into things having looked the whole thing over.  There's compelling arguments and heavenly people on both sides.  Anyone who claims the Mormon church is entirely evil and wrong or entirely good and perfect in history, doctrine, and action  is, in my opinion, not doing anyone any favors.  Reality has a way of shattering bubbles of glass - the longer you the bubble is around, the more catastrophic the consequences when it gets smashed.

And, in my opinion, rejecting the Mormon church or it's missionaries or some of it's doctrine is not rejecting Christ or God.  i wish i would have known that a long time ago.

Regardless, whatever your decision, i hope you find peace and happiness, and maintain a good relationship with your family.  i think that's possible, with effort - and it's definitely worth it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now