AbramM Posted April 23, 2019 Report Posted April 23, 2019 5 hours ago, anatess2 said: I have a suggestion for you. Before you go to bed everyday, say this prayer: "Dear Heavenly Father, I am very grateful for <insert the best part of the day>. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen". That's it. Do it every single day before bed. I don't struggle to pray anymore. I did for a while Quote
Jane_Doe Posted April 23, 2019 Report Posted April 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Alia said: I'm not one of those people who can make friends. The though of even talking to someone I don't know at church makes me feel nauseous. I'm confused. I get social anxiety (been there, done that, got the T-shirt), but is your social anxiety so extreme you literally cannot talk to another person-- even if on a small scale, at a time and place of your choosing? Quote
Traveler Posted April 24, 2019 Report Posted April 24, 2019 On 1/31/2019 at 4:57 PM, Alia said: Since May last year my church attendance has been almost non existent. I think I have attended 4 times since May, but I was determined to change that and attend every week in 2019. The thing is that since my husband stopped coming to church with me around March last year I wasn't able to handle my son and pay any kind of attention to the meeting. I went to church on the first Sunday of the year and ended up sitting in the hall with my son and then left when the sacrament meeting ended. I haven't bothered going back, but I do really miss church and I want to attend regularly again. Do you have any advice on how I can attend with my son who is 17 months? I am not the expert. My dear wife handled this. When our children (5 of them) were young I was in the bishopric and sitting on the stand. She was on her own and was crazy effective. To be honest I think she is Wonder Woman or something - but she bribed the older children with candy - there were 5 things they had to do at church to get the candy at home -- things like sing be reverent, bring scriptures (not sure I remember all). When the children were very young and in arms - my wife would train them at home on how to behave at church. Sometimes should would sit with the baby for an hour to train the child how to sit at church. I would also add that we would travel a lot with our kids and the sitting at church helped tons for training children to behave on flights. I had upgrades and sitting in first class became a reward for behavior. I am amazed what children will do when they are taught and given incentives. Many times I have been asked how I got my children to behave so well - I always gave my wife the credit because it is rightfully hers. The Traveler Quote
Alia Posted April 24, 2019 Author Report Posted April 24, 2019 20 hours ago, Jane_Doe said: I'm confused. I get social anxiety (been there, done that, got the T-shirt), but is your social anxiety so extreme you literally cannot talk to another person-- even if on a small scale, at a time and place of your choosing? I don't have social anxiety unless I am somewhere I don't fit in. Usually, I am fine speaking to people. Quote
Jane_Doe Posted April 24, 2019 Report Posted April 24, 2019 47 minutes ago, Alia said: I don't have social anxiety unless I am somewhere I don't fit in. Usually, I am fine speaking to people. And is your social anxiety in this situation so extreme you literally cannot talk to another person-- even if on a small scale, at a time and place of your choosing? Quote
Alia Posted April 24, 2019 Author Report Posted April 24, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, Jane_Doe said: And is your social anxiety in this situation so extreme you literally cannot talk to another person-- even if on a small scale, at a time and place of your choosing? I could force myself too but I don't want to. At my brother's church I fit in way more (which is really strange) and have no problem speaking to people about anything Edited April 24, 2019 by Alia Quote
Jane_Doe Posted April 24, 2019 Report Posted April 24, 2019 31 minutes ago, Alia said: I could force myself too but I don't want to. At my brother's church I fit in way more (which is really strange) and have no problem speaking to people about anything People in any congregation (Baptist, LDS, whatever) are varied. In any congregation you'll find men, women, poor, rich, educated, non-educated, married, divorced, single parents, various political views, people with brutally rough background, people with smoother backgrounds, etc. If you take the time get to know people, I bet you'll "fit in" in any congregation. It's just a matter of breaking the ice "I don't fit in" idea. Quote
anatess2 Posted April 24, 2019 Report Posted April 24, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Alia said: I could force myself too but I don't want to. At my brother's church I fit in way more (which is really strange) and have no problem speaking to people about anything I don't find it strange. You are comfortable in the Baptist Church and has made up your mind that you won't be comfortable in the LDS Church. I believe that's all there is to it and it's not uncommon to feel this way. It's a form of prejudice that is a byproduct of one's self-defense mechanism against the fear of rejection or judgment. You have 2 choices on how to move forward - 1.) stay in the safe space of the Baptist environment, 2.) risk rejection/judgment in the new environment. You're the only one that can decide whether the rewards of risking rejection/judgment is worth the blessings of attending the LDS Church. Edited April 24, 2019 by anatess2 Quote
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