Same, better or worse

[askandanswer]

Its already been decided that the next musical item our choir will do will be hymn 97, Lead kindly light. In my meeting with the Ward Music Director this week I’m thinking about trying to persuade her to go along with this re-write below. Below is the hymn as it appears in our hymn and after that is a re-worded version, with the middle verse being the same. Could I get peoples’ thoughts on whether they think the amended version is about the same as the original, better or worse?

Any suggestions are also welcome

Thanks

 

Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom;

Lead thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home;

Lead thou me on!

Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene—one step enough for me.

 

I was not ever thus, nor pray’d that thou

Shouldst lead me on.

I loved to choose and see my path; but now,

Lead thou me on!

I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,

Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years.

 

 So long thy pow’r hath blest me, sure it still

Will lead me on

O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till

The night is gone.

And with the morn those angel faces smile,

Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile!

 

 

Lead kindly Light, in these the latter-days

Lead me to Thou

The night is dark and I am far away

Lead me to thee now

Keep thou my sight, I always ask to see

The nearing scene – eternity, with thee

 

I was not ever thus, nor pray’d that thou

Shouldst lead me on.

I loved to choose and see my path; but now,

Lead thou me on!

I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,

Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years.

 

So long thy hand hath held me, sure it still

Will still hold me

Through grief and loss, through trial and problem til

I feel thy peace

And then at last I see those angel faces smile

Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile

 

 

 

[laronius]

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what it's saying but the "Keep thou my sight" part in the first verse seems to conflict with the "I love to chose and see my path" part in verse 2. 

[Carborendum]

First I'll address the musical points and grammar.  I will address the meaning/philosophy further down the page.

7 hours ago, askandanswer said:

Lead kindly Light, in these the latter-days

Lead me to Thou thee.

Subject pronoun v. object pronoun. 

7 hours ago, askandanswer said:

The night is dark and I am far away

There is a little too much vowel alliteration here "far" "away".

7 hours ago, askandanswer said:

Lead me to thee now

Syllables don't match the rhythm.

7 hours ago, askandanswer said:

Keep thou my sight, I always ask to see

The nearing scene – eternity, with thee

Again syllable/rhythm agreement is bad.  And the verbal accents don't agree with the down beats of the measures.

****************************

MEANING OF THE POEM.

In general, I'm not sure why you'd change any of it.

"amid th'encircling gloom" v. "in these the latter-days": Why?  You've basically changed a universal message for anyone, anywhere, any time, to apply only because we see the calamities of the last days.  At least that is what I get from the change.  Do you really want a song of peace and communion to become one of Armageddon?

"Lead me to thee now" So, now you're basically changing the name of the song.  Where do you expect the Lord to lead you?  Away from Him?  And you've got a musical hurdle to get over as well.  If this were an original poem, and you were the original author, this line wouldn't be a problem as a poem.  But since this is a modification and there is music already set to it, there must be a pressing reason for a change.  But there isn't one.

"I do not ask to see" v. "I always ask to see"

You've missed the point of the verse, and the entire poem.  In life, we may have a "glimpse" of the endgame.  But the entire path?  The idea of the poem is about trusting in the Lord.  It is about having the humility to subject ourselves to His will and His guidance.*

7 hours ago, askandanswer said:

I was not ever thus, nor pray’d that thou

Shouldst lead me on.

I loved to choose and see my path; but now,

Lead thou me on!

Here we see a contradiction.  You kept this passage as it was.  But it specifically contradicts your altered lines just before it.  These lines explain why the singer is content with just the next step (lines from the original version).  He doesn't need to see it all at once.  But you've changed it to ask to see Eternity, then you kept the "but now" as I've indicated in bold.

This line says that "I loved" (past tense) to see the whole path before trusting.  

"But now" (present tense, a change of heart) the singer is now content to simply be led, "not knowing beforehand what he should do."

* One thing I've learned about the Lord's guidance is that it is guidance.  While He certainly gives us knowledge (through scriptures and living prophets) of the state of eternity, the day-to-day things in life are just that: day-to-day.  

I've had so many instances where I'm focused on one thing and I think I got bad inspiration.  But later I realize what really happened.

EXAMPLE:

The house I currently live in is not my favorite.  When we were purchasing it, I was thinking we should keep looking.  But my wife insisted that we go to the temple and pray about it.  It was, after all, a pretty big decision financially and otherwise.

The inspiration I received was that this is not a financial decision.  I did not receive any information about what it really was about.  But the financial decision was not about appreciation, or repairs, or floorplan or anything else like that.  I need only figure out if I could actually afford it.

Having lived here for about 8 years now, I now look back and realize that there would have been no way for the Lord to communicate to me why I had to live here.  SO MANY things have happened because I lived here that there would have been no way for me to foresee it.

Because I lived here

• Some jobs that I didn't take (commute was too long).
• Some jobs I did take.
• Choices in entertainment.
• Travel time to visit relatives.  It turns out we're just in the sweet spot.
• People I met (ward, businesses nearby, stores and commerce for my children to work at...)
• My passion for watermelons.
• Learning about "country life".
• Friends that my children have made through a dozen circles.
• The private school that some friends of ours set up are now teaching my three youngest.  And it is amazing what is happening to them.

Did I really expect to see all that several years ago?  No way.  But by giving me just the short term guidance, I followed a path.  And that path the Lord prepared for me was amazing.

As far as eternity, think about it.  Can we really see that in this life?

[askandanswer]

Thanks Carb, I appreciate the time and thought you've put in to your reply.