Tough Decision

[lanzdavila]

Well you see my situation is different right now, am seperated from my wife, and I want to become LDS, but her family is Anti-LDS, and Bashers to say the Least. I would like some ideas and thoughts on what step do I take next. Do I try to work out my marriage and forget my beliefs for the sake of my marriage. Hard times We live in.

[a-train]

I would stay in the marriage. Don't leave because she hasn't yet made certain spiritual discoveries. The issue isn't her spiritual standing or belief, nor is it yours. The issue is whether or not she will accept you in your position and you in hers. I would show her and the parents that in spite of differences of theological belief, you love her and if she cannot love you back, then there is little you can do. But if she is fair and sincere, she will be with you and accept your lifestyle and sentiment.

-a-train

[the_jason]

I would stay in the marriage. Don't leave because she hasn't yet made certain spiritual discoveries. The issue isn't her spiritual standing or belief, nor is it yours. The issue is whether or not she will accept you in your position and you in hers. I would show her and the parents that in spite of differences of theological belief, you love her and if she cannot love you back, then there is little you can do. But if she is fair and sincere, she will be with you and accept your lifestyle and sentiment.

-a-train

I disagree. Even though a marriage involves a couple, it still involves individuals. If my wife were to put me down or make my life hell for my beliefs, then she's nobody I'd want to be married to. A spouse should encourage and support the others' beliefs, whether they agree with them or not.

This is a tough situation. It's not easy to say whether you should persue your beliefs or leave them behind for the sake of your marriage. I'm not sure anyone here can answer that for you. Take it to the Lord and follow exclusively what the Spirit directs you to do.

[Maya]

My decition was to get babtized, even though my hubby was not at all interested. He and my family were against me joining. My marriage lasted 5 more years.

I knew it had ended anyway in a few years... but I wished the LDS church could have got it going better. I would never have managed without the Church, my testimony was too strong...to intense.

After 3 more years I met the man of my life... an LDS. Haha after 3 more, he decieved me worst than anyone can do...long story short: we are still together and I like to curl under his arm to watch TV.

[NeuroTypical]

Do I try to work out my marriage and forget my beliefs for the sake of my marriage. Hard times We live in.

You got that right. You've got a hard series of choices. So, are there kids involved?

Here's my two cents:

At the end of the day, the LDS church is not in the business of breaking apart families. We're big on marriages, and families as instituted by God, and the founding unit of our earthly societies.

Now, if your wife says "be mormon and we're through", she's issuing an ultimatum to you, and you need to make a choice. But (and again, this is just my opinion), I've seen very staunchly opposed people soften their hearts and change their tune in a year or two. If you believe your marriage is worth saving, and if you believe that your wife is ultimately open to exposing herself to different ideas and concepts and sources of truth, you may want to consider postponing baptism and fixing your marriage.

In my mind, a lot depends on if you've already made kids with her or not. If you haven't, for pete's sake, don't bring them into a marriage with such a terrible, foundational disagreement abour religion. No matter how mature the two of you end up being, your kids will be thrown into the middle of it, and be torn in two different directions. If you have, you need to take into account that God has commanded you - mormon or not - to be their father to the best of your abilities.

Good luck.

LM

[lanzdavila]

thank you for your thoughts, no kids involved. I am trying to pray about it, but It still a long road, a few months at least. I wont join the LDS Church untill my martial differences are resolved. Once again thanks for ur thoughts and prayers.

[inthearmsofsleep]

That is a very tough decision... and though I don't want to sound like a broken record in repeating what other people have already said, your best advice would come directly from the Lord. Just make sure you're ready to receive an answer and completely willing to act upon whatever he instructs as soon as you receive that answer. We are never granted knowledge that we seek before we show that we're actually in a position to use it (at least from my personal experiences). I pray that their hearts will be softened and they'll at least accept that their daughter (or sister) wants to be with someone who is LDS or wants to pursue the LDS religion. Good luck!

[rusure]

Well, I about flipped when my teenage daughter came home from school one day and announced she wanted to join the Mormon church. I didn't say "over my dead body" but that was about my opinion. I'm not a bad person and she shouldn't have run away from home b/c I said that (she did not join). I suggest you not treat your wife that way, either, if this is the only thing you disagree about. Let time sort things out. About 3 years after that happened with my daughter, a lot happened in life and I ended up joining the church myself.

[Dee23]

Hi there! The Lord KNOWS the DESIRES of YOUR heart. He knows when it is time for you to join the church. It took me three different times to have encounters with LDS friends and the missionaries before I joined the church. If you have prayed earnestly and hard to save your marriage then try to save it. The Lord will provide away for you . He will not lead you astray. My husband and I are going through much marital turmoil (He cannot stay in our home , because of a domestic violence issue). I have wanted to give up, walk out and sometimes even die. Then I remember him pleading and bleeding in the Garden to fight this battle for me. He's already won it. I just have to let him lead me to victory .He will do the same for you. It will take time and it's not easy. Pray for your dear wife. Her heart may soon be softened.

Depree