Accomplice to Murder

[funkyfool]

A few months ago, i started talking to a friend i had not talked to for a couple years. Fairly quickly, i learned that she was feeling down about life and had become preganant at 17 years of age. She told me that i was the only one who she had confided this information in other than her boyfriend..

She and I have had several deep conversations as to what her options are as to what to do with the unborn child. At first, she was utterly opposed to abortion and was sure she wanted to keep the baby. She and her boyfriend even set up a date to get married...but she called it off. I took her to planned parenthood and was there as she received counseling as to all her options available.

A little background information on this girl. She is living with her boyfriend and has poor relations with her parents. Her father does not know she is pregnant but has sworn that if she ever were to be pregnant out of wedlock, that he would basically disown her.

i guess all the background information really isnt taht important at this point.

My friend and i had another very deep discussion about what she should do. Pennsylvania state law will only abort a baby of a woman 18 years or older (or younger with parental consent) within the first trimester. Her first trimester is over and she had to go talk to a counselor and be recommended by this person..in order to get the abortion now...in her 4th month.

Tomorrow morning, my friend wants me to come with her to get the abortion done. She has already said she feels terribly about it..and i can see it in her eyes. We've talked about all of her options. her boyfriend is bitterly opposed to abortion or adoption. He wants to keep the baby. She is also worried about what pepole will say when she starts to show...and being disowned by her family.

I told her, i would go to the abortion clinic with her, if thats really what she wants to do. I keep hoping, she'll change her mind. And it IS her legal right...kinda technically..to have an abortion

She has a fake ID saying she is 18, although she is a minor..but other than that fact, it would be her legal right to get the abortion.

I dont know what im supposed to do. She has no one else to back her up. Her life is falling apart. And for some reason she chose to seek me out and confide in ME as a friend after 2 years of not talking.

I wish there was more i could do. Maybe there is. But its her choice

Im an accomplice to murder...taking my friend to have her baby killed.

what on earth else is there for me to do?

Iv got until tomorow morning to figure it out. Doesnt leave much time for replies on the forum

[MorningStar]

This will torment her forever if she goes through with it. She was grown-up enough to get pregnant and I think she should call her dad's bluff. That's just my opinion. It's her life.

[MorningStar]

Has she seen any pictures of what her baby looks like now? I'm only 9 weeks along. My baby has a heartbeat and the hands and feet are already forming.

[funkyfool]

yeah. i know her father. he isnt bluffing. and yes, she's seen her baby's ultrasound. seen the heart beating. weve already had the talk about her future and what she'll think looking back. i guess theres still a chance she'll back out tomorrow

[the_jason]

Abortion is wrong. Abortion is murder. If you're a true friend you'll tell her how you feel, not just tell her what she wants to hear. It's important to stand up for our beliefs at all times, even in dire circumstances. The fact that your friend confided in you and wants your support is irrelevant. You have a duty to stand up for what's right. Period.

[funkyfool]

ive told her exactly how i feel jason. straight up. lol you know me... im straight up. iv done all that i can. Its her choice.

[the_jason]

But you're supporting her and going with her. That makes you look like a hypocrite. That's like saying you don't drink but you'll go with a friend to a bar. You have to act the way you believe.

[WillowTheWhisp]

You say she has a legal right to have an abortion (yet she doesn't because she isn't 18) but even if she did I would still say that hasn't got a moral right to murder an unborn child. Sometimes the law is not moral. This must be a terrible dilemma for her to be in but perhaps she turned to you because you could possibly be the one to give her the opposite point of view to the one she is presenting to you.

My personal view is that if the boyfriend and girlfriend aren't eagerly looking forward to being married (whether there was a child or not) then the best solution would be for the baby to be adopted and brought up in a loving family.

[prisonchaplain]

In the end, you certainly want to be there for your friend. How that plays out is tough. In college, one of my friends--also very pro-life--ended up loaning his buddy money, so he could pay for his gf's abortion. Afterwards, he wondered if he could continue to be pro-life, without being a hypocrite.

If your friend is still open to suggestions, see if there isn't an alternative pregnancy counseling center in your area. The ones that are pro-life often offer support--including finance and housing--to mothers who want to keep their babies (or adopt them out), but who's families cut them off. Time may be short, but maybe she'll wait a few days, if there is another way?

God grant you wisdom and discernment for this difficult time in your friend's life.

[Elgama]

if it were my friend I would go with them - I would not let them go through something so terrible alone but also let her be aware she can walk away up until the procedure starts and you being there will give her the strength to walk away if she can.

I am guessing she isn't LDS - if she has an abortion she can still get baptised etc later, but going through this totally destroy her - your kindness will be remembered.

-Charley

[the_jason]

It all comes down to being selfish and making bad decisions. If she could change the past I'm sure she'd have done something different to avoid this situation. Since she can't, she needs to do what is morally right and what's in the best interest of the child, not selfishly fulfill her own desires. I don't care what anyone says, once conceived that fetus is a living human being, and destroying it is murder. If she doesn't want the baby, give it to someone who does. There are many people who do things the right way but are not able to have children. An abortion takes the opportunity of having children away from parents who are actually responsible.

[funkyfool]

Time may be short, but maybe she'll wait a few days, if there is another way?.

She has to go to a special clinic...that will do the abortion this late..in her 4th month. They only do the abortions on fridays...and this is the last friday that it is legal to have the procedure.

there isnt any time...she does it tomorrow..or she doesnt. no more time to think.

[the_jason]

If she wants to do it she'll do it. What are YOU going to do?

[funkyfool]

If she wants to do it she'll do it. What are YOU going to do?

I dont know Jason. Its not in my hands. Iv told her all that i can tell her. ITs mostly just a matter of...do I go with her to the clinic or not..

I can still tell her one more time in the morning, my feelings on it. But trust me...she is fully aware of them.

it even crossed my mind once to rat her out for her fake id... I wont do that though

She understands what she is doing...its her decision.

I shouldnt matter jason

[Canuck Mormon]

I know this is hard to hear, but, to me it's like giving the keys to someone who is obviously drunk and telling them to drive. The only difference is, someone will defiantly die. I would hate to be in your shoes funky. It is obviously weighing heavily on your mind. I think maybe you should pray for guidance.

Good Luck.

[the_jason]

It's mostly just a matter of...do I go with her to the clinic or not..

That's what I'm talking about. If you go with her you are condoning her decision. You may not think you are, but you are. It's one thing to say you are against abortion. It's another thing to actually show it by your actions. Actions speak louder than words.

[the_jason]

It's mostly just a matter of...do I go with her to the clinic or not..

That's what I'm talking about. If you go with her you are condoning her decision. You may not think you are, but you are. It's one thing to say you are against abortion. It's another thing to actually show it by your actions. Actions speak louder than words. I can gaurantee you that if she were my daughter I would not be going to the clinic with her. I love my daughter, but I cannot support or condone wrong decisions.

[MorningStar]

If my dad disowned me, I don't think I would want to be around him anyway and I certainly wouldn't kill my own child to avoid it.

[the_jason]

If my dad disowned me, I don't think I would want to be around him anyway and I certainly wouldn't kill my own child to avoid it.

Amen, Sista!!

[MorningStar]

Thanks, Jason. :)

I know things seem impossible for this girl, but things can work out for her.

[funkyfool]

If my dad disowned me, I don't think I would want to be around him anyway and I certainly wouldn't kill my own child to avoid it.

yes, if she keeps the baby or not, her father will disown her just by knowing that she was pregnant out of wedlock. That would mean no financial support from him.

If she gets the abortion or adopts the baby..either way, her boyfriend swore he would leave her. He is her financial support at the moment.

she was working 2 jobs, even with that....if she adopts out the baby, she has no way of financially sustaning herself. I told her if i were able to, id try and help, but thats just not possible.

[the_jason]

yes, if she keeps the baby or not, her father will disown her just by knowing that she was pregnant out of wedlock. That would mean no financial support from him.

If she gets the abortion or adopts the baby..either way, her boyfriend swore he would leave her. He is her financial support at the moment.

she was working 2 jobs, even with that....if she adopts out the baby, she has no way of financially sustaning herself. I told her if i were able to, id try and help, but thats just not possible.

So because her life is hard she has a right to kill a child of God. Nice justification.

[funkyfool]

So because her life is hard she has a right to kill a child of God. Nice justification.

No, she doesnt.

[MorningStar]

Well, if her dad finds out then she'll have no father and a dead baby. Is everyone in her life so manipulative? So her dad will disown her if she becomes pregnant and her boyfriend will leave her if she gives the baby up for adoption. Nice. If she gives the baby up for adoption, she should be able to support herself without either of them.

[funkyfool]

Well, if her dad finds out then she'll have no father and a dead baby. Is everyone in her life so manipulative? So her dad will disown her if she becomes pregnant and her boyfriend will leave her if she gives the baby up for adoption. Nice. If she gives the baby up for adoption, she should be able to support herself without either of them.

kinda hard for a 17 year old to be able to afford an apartment, and food for herself, going to school and working 2 jobs.

it will be a tough road,but i totally do agree what adoption is the best decision morally. The only right way to go.