I've decided not to investigate the Church any longer.

[Guest Malcolm]

Well, I think it serves well to be clear about what the person is looking for. For once I really don't have time to engage in these silly debates about "evidence." I take my faith very seriously and if I take my time in order to participate in the forum it is in an attempt to make an honest contribution to those who are seeking to understand.

It is evident that Kona has spent more time in the anti-Mormon sites than actually reading the standard works. I have no issue with that except the fact that he takes at face value whatever he reads and comes and posts it in the forum as if it was a statement of fact. He is quick to lend credence to the whatever he reads out there but he is not actually researching anything.

I believe the spirit of the forum should be that of genuine exchange of thought and faith expression. Copying and pasting from adversarial sites as a way to incite debate serves no purpose but his.

[WANDERER]

I don't mean it quite in that way Iggy, but in the sense that it is best to discover personally what the truth is rather than rely on second hand information or bias and determining that is part of the process of investigating. I consider it best to investigate things as thoroughly as I can, rather than have a crisis of faith later on down the track because I didn't. I guess you could look it as 'searching for reasons not to believe'. But I spend a lot of time cross referencing from one view on things to the other. Yes being an investigator is a constant crisis of faith in some respects. But I'm feeling good about it at the moment : ) . Other days I feel a little more like Malcolm's definition of trampling stones in the dark. I hold onto hope.

Well perhaps not so good after post 53. Sorry Kona.

[kona0197]

Wow.

It really hurts that some of you think that I'm not a true investigator. I really don't know what to say to that to prove I am. I have been to more Sacrament meetings than I can remember. I've had the Missionaries over so much that that told me all that is left is for me to get baptized. I have read all that standard works of the church. My LDS book collection is far more extensive that you think. I even have a copy of Jesus The Christ. I watch General Conference.

I'm an investigator. To say I'm not is a slap in the face.

At this point I've heard what both sides have said and I don't know who to believe. People saying I'm not an investigatior certainly does NOT help.

At this point I guess I will steer clear of this site.

[Misshalfway]

I think you are a true investigator. And I think that you have valid and legit questions. I am so sorry for those comments. I think they are really unfair.

[kona0197]

Well it's nice to hear at least someone takes me at my word. I asked those questions because if I become a member this is a lifetime commitment. I don't want to make the wrong choice.

Anyhow this site has caused me some grief. I probably will as I said steer clear of this site.

[Misshalfway]

I so agree. It is a lifetime, life changing thing! Well, Good luck. Hope you don't evaluate the church based on a few dudes who act this way. I wish you the best. Hope you find what you are looking for!

[Maya]

  kona0197 said:

"Mormon teachings don't teach or say that black skin is a curse. "

Yes they do. Ever read the heading above the chapter in Genesis when Cain kills Abel?

"The Church did not prevent the blacks from receiving the Priesthood. Heavenly Father withheld that from them until 1978."

Why? I find it hard to believe that God would single out one race as he created all races equal...

The leaders of the church were after all the people of their time...The belief that black skin would be a curse was a common belief among the protestants at that time. Interesting is that after all mormons WERE one of the few that allowed blacks to join or even be present in the meetings. In many areas the blacks HAD TO make theri own churches to be able to attend, not mentioning the preasts too.

God in His whisdom singled out the blacks because He saw that whites were NOT ready for them to be full members yet. This is a thing that the critics and anties ride with, because in the world today it is considered a crime...but NOT at that time. You DO know that JS wanted to free the slaves. He babtised blacks in the church... IF they were freemen. He said it is NOT allowed to babtise soemone who is owned by someone. You need to stand free to be able to be babtised. I think that is also reason why married women always have to ask promition from the husband to get babtised. Your owner shall be God, not your owner.

Really think what would have happened to the church if the blacks would have got all the privilegies at the same time as the whites in the worls of that time... I think the church would have been demolished. In south the most hated and the ones who were presecuted sideby side with the blacks has been LDS churchmembers.

An other reason was also given that Ables people had to getthe gospel first.. WHO arethe Abels people? I donot know ...do you? Maybe that was a right answer. You know sometimesthe right order of things seems to be very important to God.

Have not read all of this thread.. coming back for comments ...possibly...

[Maya]

  kona0197 said:

Another thing:

How do you guys explain that no Native American DNA matches up to any DNA from Israel?

How about the fact that they can't find any evidence that the BOM cities existed?

Or the fact that after all those battles in the BOM we have never found any of those old weapons?

Why haven't we found any of the money they used?

DNA..... uh.. Nephites were killed to the last man, maybe a few escaped. Hugo Pregola says the tests are taken from a DNA that is enheritable from mother to daughter... what about if there were no daughters? I believe that Nephitiesw and Lamanities were a very small part of inhabitance in South America and it is not like there is NONE of the Israels DNA left there...just like everywhere else.

Cant find evidence of BOM?? What is an evidence fior you? A stone that says HI there I am done by Nephittene?? Take an other look at the history of South of Mexico... new founds come in daylight all the time...maybe our evidence bear an other lable... not Nephities or Lamanities??

Besides we need to believe if everything would be as clear as day...what would we believe in then?

Patrience, patience... something has been found..but I have to leave for church now!!!

JS aprofet....yes that is a very imprtant thing to believe in I pray that you one day find out that he is. With that testimony or the lack of it LDS belief stands or falls. I found out it is possible he is... then later my belief in that has been stronger and stronger...

[tree]

i agree with malcolm, and ztodd, he already said he has made up his mind not to further investigate, and or go to our church, so why stick around ? " to cause contentions,doubt and to get us arguing with each other" i told him in an earlier post ( at least i beleive i did ) to go to the truthisrestored.com rusty curtis has numerous questions and the answers to them,and where to find them in the scritures, if its truth he is looking for -HONESTLY- he will find it. lets not give-in to the craftiness of evil intentions, kona has all the info-sites he needs, go read,pray and make your decision kona, if you choose not the truth, fine, but please move on in peace!!!! TREE

[kona0197]

I'm more or less still investigating Tree. To call me evil is down right mean. I would expect better from members of this site...

I have no evil intentions. I'm just looking for the truth. So far all that's got me here is flamed.

Nice way to set an example of how members of the Church deal with others guys.

Really not cool...

[a-train]

Yeah, to hell with these no good investigator drop outs! I mean, who needs 'em!? They're just too stupid to be Mormon, they are just antis. They clearly are just so self-righteous that they are incapable of understanding the supernal principles of truth and we should stop casting our pearls before swine. Come on fellow Mormons of humble righteousness, let's just get rid of this guy and go out and be Christlike without him!

Hmm... did that come out wrong? It does NOT matter if Kona is sincere or not. Perhaps Kona could be the most wicked man alive, have we therefore been instructed to adopt the attitude of the Pharisees and throw the rascal out on his ear? Is that the gospel message?

What did the LORD say?

'But I say unto you, HATE your enemies, CURSE them that curse you, do EVIL to them that hate you, and NEVER pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to NEVER rise on the evil and ALWAYS on the good, and sendeth rain ONLY on the just and NEVER on the unjust.'

Or wait, how does the scripture go?

-a-train

[Alaskagain]

  kona0197 said:

I'm more or less still investigating Tree. To call me evil is down right mean. I would expect better from members of this site...

I have no evil intentions. I'm just looking for the truth. So far all that's got me here is flamed.

Nice way to set an example of how members of the Church deal with others guys.

Really not cool...

But you opened this thread with the title "I've decided not to investigate the Church any longer."

So, you have changed your mind, and you are still investigating? I hope so.

If you truly have decided firmly and finally, then you certainly have a right to do that. You make your statement and walk away.

I don't think you are evil, or have evil intentions. I think you might be confused about what you want.

Nothing we tell you on this board is going to change your mind - we might be able to give you additional points to consider, or explain certain things that might bother you, but in the end, the only converting experience can come from the witness of the Holy Spirit through prayer. And you already know that. You've been taught by missionaries, you have attended sacrament meetings (or at least you have inferred that you have done those things). If you are not going to do as you have been taught, there is not much else we can do for you. Is there?

[Palerider]

The last few posts I have read on here you have asked some questions and I have seen where some have answered them....however....there have been many questions asked of you to which you have not responded.....I have also seen the attacks go both ways. I am use to being called names....where I live in a corner of the Bible Belt I get told all the time where I am going....and that I am a devil worshipper etc.....these statements are coming from active Church goers.....

[Misshalfway]

  kona0197 said:

"Mormon teachings don't teach or say that black skin is a curse. "

Yes they do. Ever read the heading above the chapter in Genesis when Cain kills Abel?

"The Church did not prevent the blacks from receiving the Priesthood. Heavenly Father withheld that from them until 1978."

Why? I find it hard to believe that God would single out one race as he created all races equal...

I was thinking about this and I am not sure why God did what he did here. In the early ancient church with Abraham and the children of Israel (His ancient covenant people), I don't recall any scripture directly condemning the treatment of women. They were, as I understand it, second class or maybe even property. It wasn't until the Savior visited the world and tried to teach those people about the proper treatment of women. Mary and Martha....worship service with women........how he treated his mother, etc. Maybe God lets the world learn thru its generations. Maybe he waits for the people to be ready for the right time for truth to be introduced. He certainly waited for a religiously free country to be established before He talked to Joseph Smith. There was a reason it was 1820. A reason that a farm boy was chosen. A reason that the time was right.

It was always true IMO that any race of people should be treated equally, but some in this country would severely punish anyone who would defend blacks. This church needed to defend itself from the same cruel hatred early on. Maybe the church needed to get strong enough...or established enough. Maybe the country and the people in it were finally ready to move forward. Maybe the people of this country needed a hundred years of fighting and suffering to finally learn its essential lessons. And so the Lord answered the prayers of the brethren in 1978. The restoration was a process of learning and stumbling and learning and progressing and many of the doctrines were given ONLY after someone pondered and asked a question. God has waited for us to ask the questions first!! Amazing way to restore his church. Fascinating way of running things, I think!! Some eternal principle there, I think.

Finally, now, the restoration of saving doctrine and ordinance is complete and we certainly benefit from people of all races and backgrounds. I don't think this priesthood issue is about racism within the church at all. Hard for the outside observer to understand, that is certain to me. One needs to study the history of how and when the Priesthood was passed and guarded and withdrawn from the earth. But, I think if you look at the behavior of Joseph and other leaders, it would be hard to find true systemic racism. You will find human weakness. Absolutely. This church and the people in it are very much imperfect. We don't get the perfect deal until we are living with God again on the other side. This church has moved forward.... and backward.....and then forward again as the righteousness of the people ebbs and flows and as we learn!! God is patient. His ways are not our ways. He didn't give joseph a "restoration for dummies" manual and give him all the answers at once. Line upon line. Precept upon precept. In His own time and in His own wisdom. For the investigator and the member alike, this, as with so many other things, is an issue of prayer and study and pondering and most of all faith!

[JcDean78]

  a-train said:

Yeah, to hell with these no good investigator drop outs! I mean, who needs 'em!? They're just too stupid to be Mormon, they are just antis. They clearly are just so self-righteous that they are incapable of understanding the supernal principles of truth and we should stop casting our pearls before swine. Come on fellow Mormons of humble righteousness, let's just get rid of this guy and go out and be Christlike without him!

Hmm... did that come out wrong? It does NOT matter if Kona is sincere or not. Perhaps Kona could be the most wicked man alive, have we therefore been instructed to adopt the attitude of the Pharisees and throw the rascal out on his ear? Is that the gospel message?

What did the LORD say?

'But I say unto you, HATE your enemies, CURSE them that curse you, do EVIL to them that hate you, and NEVER pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to NEVER rise on the evil and ALWAYS on the good, and sendeth rain ONLY on the just and NEVER on the unjust.'

Or wait, how does the scripture go?

-a-train

I cannot agree more with this. In fact it was some posters like -a- train alluded to which made me (An active LDS member) lose interest in this site a while back but I decided to give it a try again.

I hope the original poster is a true investigator. As a convert I can testify of many times where I have had serious issues with various members for different reasons to the point that I almost left the Church not long after I first joined it.

However while the members sometimes make mistakes and are not perfect, the Church that Christ established here on Earth is perfect in every way. We are all sinners and we struggle daily to do better. So please do not take the bile that has been spit at you by some here to reflect overall on the Church and a majority of its members. One of the bad things about the net is it allows for people to say things behind a computer anonymously which they would never say to another person face to face.

Good luck in your search. I pray that you find what you need.

[WANDERER]

quote: You need to stand free to be able to be babtised. I think that is also reason why married women always have to ask promition from the husband to get babtised.End of quote.

LOL. You are equating the baptism of women with the baptism of slaves????????

And it would follow that... all married women in the church are slaves to their husbands???????

LOL. Bless you.

A curse is not a positive or desirable condition. In fact, describing something as a "curse" means just the opposite -- that this is not the way things ought to be. The Jewish people, for example, were punished to wander throughout history as strangers in a strange land, but they certainly didn't expel ourselves from various countries just to fulfill this punishment. In fact, God wants us to do everything in our power to get out of exile. This is a curse -- something negative, reflecting the negative change that occurred in creation with sin. In other words, something to change.

Let's take a look at Adam's curse, the curse of the ground and its effect on Adam's offspring, by the sweat of his brow he shall toil. If you accept that, why struggle against it or change it. Bring back the plough! Stop fighting spiritual warfare with the curses of sin..... or not? What does God offer against the consequences of sin? Salvation. Otherwise belief would be fairly futile.

As an aside for those that believe evil has been done:

You do realise that googling brings up this forum and individual threads. It's out there for all investigators not just Kono. You are speaking to them all.

[ztodd]

  kona0197 said:

Well it's nice to hear at least someone takes me at my word. I asked those questions because if I become a member this is a lifetime commitment. I don't want to make the wrong choice.

Anyhow this site has caused me some grief. I probably will as I said steer clear of this site.

I'm sorry if I've offended you Kona; it wasn't my intention. I haven't definitely judged or labeled you anything, but perhaps I should not have even speculated. Can we start over?

So let's take a few steps back. What is it that caused you to start thinking of these issues?

How is it that these things have come up all at once to cause you such great concern and struggle with your faith?

What have you found out so far in your own researching of these concerns?

What have you thought of the answers that have been given here so far?

[Brother Dorsey]

  kona0197 said:

I'm more or less still investigating Tree. To call me evil is down right mean. I would expect better from members of this site...

I have no evil intentions. I'm just looking for the truth. So far all that's got me here is flamed.

Nice way to set an example of how members of the Church deal with others guys.

Really not cool...

Kona...actually many members here have answered your questions and even given you links to more in depth answers. I think the real problem here is two fold. First all the questions you have asked are typical canned anti-Mormon stuff directly from anti-Mormon web sites or books and secondly you have not really responded to the answers you have been given...you've just asked more anti-Mormon questions. Active members of the Lord's church have heard all this many many times and it's very easy to label you a wolf in sheep's clothing.

You've said you've read the churches standard works, and Jesus the Christ and your LDS book library would out do mine or most here. The really really hard thing to believe is that after you've read these works it would cause you to glean from them these atypical anti-Mormon questions you've been asking. If this is the case it would be a tremendous coincidence...the odds are almost unbelievable.

So, some here have given you the benefit of the doubt as soon as you cried foul.

I for one won't....I believe you to be a liar.

[Palerider]

I am still waiting for him to answer all the questions that have been asked of him....

[a-train]

It will give us no victory to judge our adversaries. By that same judgment where with we judge we will be judged. The yoke of the LORD is easy and His burden is light. Why? Because in Him, we need not judge the character and soul of our fellow men. This tremendous burden is lifted in the gospel, wherein we enjoy the wonderful position and identity of those by whom the LORD blesses the world both wicked and righteous. This is the blessed status of the LORD's covenant people, the seed of Abraham.

The glorious message of truth and liberty, the gospel of Jesus Christ, is our presentation to one and all. The faith, the sincerity, the integrity, and the honor of the recipients of this, the greatest gift we have to bestow, is of no concern to us. We proclaim this message without discrimination to every living creature and do good to them the curse us and rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is our reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before us.

We have received no instruction to weed out the liars, the haters, the warmongers, the theives, the antis, nor the abusers from the LORD's vineyard, but we are to allow the wheat and the tares to grow up together until the final harvest. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. We fight not one moment against the devil himself, nor those that are under his power, but against the powers that enslave them, our beloved brothers and sisters.

Our weapon is the sword of the word of God. But it is not a weapon that kills the members of the kingdom of the devil with a slash. For that kingdom is divided against itself and will fall without a single effort. The work of the sword of the spirit of the Lord, which is the word of God, is the cutting away of the shackles of enslavement placed upon our beloved and precious brothers and sisters for whom our Great Exemplar laid down His own life.

Let us not forget His great example, nor that of the prophet Joseph Smith Jr. who preached the gospel of forgiveness and love among those who tarred and feathered him while his injuries were yet fresh.

As the LORD said: 'And now, concerning the residue, let them journey and declare the word among the congregations of the wicked, inasmuch as it is given; And inasmuch as they do this they shall rid their garments, and they shall be spotless before me....And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you; And inasmuch as you have humbled yourselves before me, the blessings of the kingdom are yours.' (D&C 61)

-a-train

[tree]

kona i am sorry for saying that your intentions were evil. i will ask your forgiveness? now, you say all youve gotten out of this site is FLAMED,, well i also fell to a lower level and became FLAMED. you asked questions,,, we gave our answers. then i feel that you attacked us when you directly called our beloved prophet joseph smith a FALSE PROPHET, and with a few other STATEMENTS, you posted as FACTS to us about our church, you directly attacked us. i feel like you did your research, youve made your decision ,, now instead of coming back with all this,," your religion is false and prejudiced" stuff , why not leave the site and go your merry way. TO ALL MY FELLOW CHURCH MEMBERS, I AM SORRY FOR THE BAD EXAMPLE THAT I SET. KONA COULD HAVE SAID HE CHECKED US OUT,,WAS UNSURE OF WHAT HE FOUND,, OR THAT HE DIDNT AGREE WITH WHAT HE FOUND SO THEREFORE HE WOULD MOVE ON AND LEAVE THE SITE ,, BUT INSTEAD HE CAME BACK AND SAID THESE AWFUL THINGS,, THEN SAID HE WOULDNT BE GOING TO CHURCH AND THAT HE WOULDNT BE LEAVING THE SITE. SO I GUESS WE JUST STAND HERE AND TAKE HIS VERBAL ABUSE , WHILE OTHER INVESTIGATORS ARE ALSO SEEING THESE UGLY REMARKS!! WHAT THEN?? JESUS SAID TO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK, BUT HE NEVER SAID NOT TO REBUKE SOME ONE WHEN THEY ARE IN THE WRONG. PLEASE FORGIVE ME.......TREE

[kona0197]

Dorsey - I am NOT a liar. That statement really makes me mad.

I'm simply seeking the truth.

To all those wondering yes most of my dribble has come from a anti-Mormon website. A Christian friend pointed it out to me. Why did I start this thread then? Because I actually believed what that site said. Stupid move I guess.

I apologize for attacking everyone's faith instead of seeking answers for myself. Some of the websites you guys sent me to answered my questions.

The worlds against us aren't they? Wow...

I'm going to go back to Church. I'm going to start reading and pondering my scriptures more.

I have a testimony. A very weak and small one but it's a testimony.

I haven't responded to many questions here partly due to the quote button - it's a pain to work with on multiple replies.

Please do NOT call me a liar again. Everyone goes through trials.

[a-train]

Yes tree, we stand here in quiet dignity and take even verbal abuse in the sight of all; as did Jesus, as did Joseph Smith, as did Abinadi, Paul, Peter, and a great many before us. That is EXACTLY what we do. We offer our testimony of the truth and pass no judgment on our fellow man.

The adversary wants our pride to swell. He wants our anger to kindle. He want us to desire to rebuke and take revenge. He wants us to be in flames as we hear denigrating remarks about apostles, prophets, revelations, principles of truth, and even the LORD Himself. It was a sudden burst of anger that was sought by the men who when they blindfolded our LORD, they smote him in the face saying: 'Prophesy! Who is it that smote thee?'

Accusations will rage against us to the end, and this is what we are called to endure. As we rise up to fight our enemies we will only take casualties and release our grip on the rod of iron. If you recall, it is the pride crushing laughter and scorn coming from the great and spacious building that causes many to stumble into the mists of darkness.

We have absolutely zero need to make even the slightest effort to bring that great and spacious building down. Babylon will fall and great shall be the fall thereof. Our efforts are not to bring it down, but to remove as many from it as possible before it falls.

Our friend Kona may be sincere or not, honest or not, humble or not, but none of this is of any concern to us. It is between him and the LORD. It will make no difference to us, but only to him. We plead and call Kona and all others to come out of the oppression and slavery of Babylon and rejoice with us in partaking of the fruit of the tree of life.

This is a glad message, a most wonderful and marvelous message of peace and love. We must ever be mindful of the motives of Satan to bring us into the mists of darkness, which are his temptations, which are only designed to engage us in contention which is nothing more than the protection of our pride. That great and spacious building does not touch the ground, Babylon stands high in the air, for it is on the foundation of nothing more than pride itself. So when we protect our pride, we build and uphold Babylon.

We must release ourselves from the bondage of pride and come out of Babylon. Let charity flow through us as virtue flows through our Master.

Our efforts are never to turn men away, not even the most wicked. For we are all in need of repentance.

Let us welcome Kona and all others and bless them, not curse them.

-a-train

[kona0197]

Thank you A Train.

I'm so sick of all this fighting.

[WillowTheWhisp]

  Quote

Originally Posted by kona0197 View Post

"Mormon teachings don't teach or say that black skin is a curse. "

Yes they do. Ever read the heading above the chapter in Genesis when Cain kills Abel?

The heading above that chapter in my Bible says:

Cain slays Abel and is cursed by the Lord, who also sets a mark upon him.

It says 'also' - a curse and a mark. It dioesn't say the curse IS a mark.

Kona, I can understand why you're asking all these questions and wanting to be sure. I was exactly the same at one time. I'd checked out a lot of churches because I wanted to go to the 'right one'. As a child I was packed off to Sunday School by my parents who never actually went to church themselves so I eventually rebelled against that. It wasn't until my late teens that I started to wonder if there really might be a God after all. Without actually knowing it I was doing what Alma talks about with the tiny seed of faith. I was testing it out.

I figured there were two possibilities, either there was a God or there wasn't. So, I thought that just in case there might be I'd have a go at talking to him. It went something like "I don't know if you're there. And if you are there I don't know if you're listening. But if you are there and if you are listening I want to talk to you." It was a small start but from that I began to believe that he is there. Then when I believed that, I wanted to go to a church but had no idea which one to go to. I'd previously been sent to a Methodist Sunday School for no better reason than that it was just around the corner from where we lived. I didn't bother going back there.

My Dad was C of E but never went there. I thought maybe that was the best church because it was the official church of England. But I wasn't sure about it. I looked into Quakers but I didn't get all that silence. In complete contrast I attended an evangelical church which was so LOUD with it's 'Praise the Lord!'s and 'Hallelujah!"s not to mention dancing in the aisles and very loud music with guitars and tambourines. It just didn't seem reverent.

On my mother's side of the family they were technically Baptist but there'd been no Baptist church in the village so they never went to one (the Methodist was regarded as the next best thing) so I checked out the Baptists and they told me they were right because they did full immersion baptism which was the only true way. But then the Catholics told me that they were the only church which could be traced back to St Peter and consequently to Christ and that no other church had the 'keys of the Kingdom' which had been passed down through successive Popes - so they were the only true church. (Regardless of things like the Spanish Inquisition and the sales of indulgences! Not to mention the vain reptitions of prayers which the scriptures warn us against, and the numerous idols which people seemed to pray to rather than to God.)

Then there were the 7th Day Adventists who claimed that every other church was wrong because they kept the Sabbath on the wrong day, a Pagan Sun worshipping day and they were the only ones who kept the true Sabbath, being the Saturday, the 7th day. Then there were the Jehovah's Witnesses who told me that celebrating Christmas was wrong because that was a Pagan festival and nothing to do with Christianity.

I sort of settled into being half Baptist and half Catholic because I could see the merits of both but neither seemed perfect and both seemed to have questionable bits. I was still checking out other churches and even at one time toyed with the idea that maybe Judaism was right and maybe Jesus hadn't been the Messiah after all but just another prophet who had been misinterpreted. Which led me to Islam in an odd sort of way because hey, maybe Mohammed was the last of the prophets. I found a lot that is praiseworthy in Islam, the moral code, the modest dress......

By the time I heard of Latter-day Saints, by working with somebody who was one, it was just another of a long line of alternatives and I was quite settled being a Catholic Baptist! However, being of an enquiring mind I read what I could find about this new discovery and asked my LDS colleague a lot of questions. I probably drove him up the wall. Every time I came across something which I'd never heard of anywhere else I woukd ask him questions. (I remember writing notes and one of them was entitled 'Mrs God????' He lent me books which I read avidly. I also came across anti-Mormon literature and read that too, which aroused my curiosity and I would ask more questions. Maybe that sounded to him like I was looking for the bad stuff but I just wanted to know what the truth was.

He suggested I meet the missionaries but I was firmly against that because I'd been told by a minister of another religion that Mormon missionaries are taught how to brainwash people and if I once let them start on me that would be it, I'd be lost! So I just wanted to read and ask questions. My friend gave me a copy of the Book of Mormon and once I'd got over the hurdle of not knowing how to pronounce people's names ( I thought it was pronounced 'Neffy') I couldn't put it down! Something about the book grabbed my attention and I wanted to keep on reading and finding out what came next.

Then I amazed myself. I realised I was reading Isaiah! Whenever I had tried to red Isaiah in the Bible I had given up in despair because I couldn't understand it, but here I was reading whole chunks of Isaiah as quoted by Nephi and I was understanding most of what I was reading. That puzzled me.

I did become acquainted with several missionaries because I worked in the bank where they had their bank accounts so I would chat to them too and ask them questions. I noticed something in their answers. Everyone else I had spoken to about their churches, be it Catholic priests of Baptist ministers had said "we believe" but these young men said "I know". How could they KNOW? How could they be so sure? I wished I could be that sure about something, about anything. If I could just be that sure about one church then I would know that was the one I would want to belong to.

One Elder bore his testimony of Joseph Smith and I remember thinking how brave of him to make such a wild statement about some obscure American with such a boring and common name as Smith. How could a young farm boy from a nondescript place be a prophet chosen by God? (How cold a shepherd boy with a harp and a sling be King of Israel?) If there was going to be a stumbling block for me where the LDS church was concerned it was going to be this arrogant claim that this bit of a kid saw God and Jesus in the woods! I admired how anyone who appeared to be so intelligent and well educated as this young missionary I was talking to could actually believe such a thing and not only believe it but tell me without a waver in his voice that he KNEW it was true. I didn't know anything was true. I didn't know full immersion baptism was true, but it sounded good. I didn't know having some sort of line of authority as claimed by the Catholic church for the Pope was true, but it sounded good. I wasn't even 100% sure that God listened to my prayers, but I wanted to believe it. Yet here was this young man telling me he didn't jyst believe, he KNEW. I wanted some of that!

But I was stubborn. I refused to be taught, or preached at, or brainwashed. I wanted to investigate for myself. I read everything I could lay my hands on. I asked questions. I studied. I pondered. The only thing I didn't do was pray. But then I was faced with two alternatives. Either it was true or it wasn't. Either the Book of Mormon was real or it was a fake. Yet if it was a fake it was a pretty audacious fake to have within it a challenge to pray and ask if it was a fake! I remember saying to my LDS friend that God couldn't possibly tel some people that the Book of Mormon was true and tell other people (ie the ones who wrote the anti-Mormon stuff and claimed to represent God) that it was a fake. How could he tell people contradictory things? His reply to me was to ask if the ones who wrote the anti stuff had ever read the Book of Mormon and prayed with a sincere heart to know the answer or had they just got preconceived ideas because someone else had told them it was false.

I decided to ask one guy who preached locally very vehemently against the Mormons and produced leaflets and literature to help people 'escape from the clutches of evil' - I asked if he had ever read the Book of Mormon and prayed to know if it was true. He was horrified that I would even suggest such a thing. Of course he wouldn't read such a vile mockery of scripture! How could I even suggest such a thing!?!

I became more and more confused. I was fairly sure by now that the Book of Mormon was exactly what it claimed to be. I had prayed about it and I had felt the reassurance that it confirmed the Bible, that it was a true account of people who had travelled across half the world and made a record of their experiences and their faith in Jesus Christ. I attended meetings at the LDS chapel and felt the spirit there. However, I was still half a Catholic and half a Baptist. There really wasn't any room to be half something else! And anyway I didn't want to be half something else. If I was going to make any more changes this time I wanted to be absolutely unshakably sure that it was the one and only true thing. If I was going to give up everything else I wanted to be sure that what I gave it up for wasn't going to be superceded several months down the line by something new that I hadn't even heard of yet!