Re: Questioning My Soul & Divocees Welcome?

[SeekerofLight]

:)Hello

It has been a very difficult year for me and after ending a 15+ year marriage that I thought was for life, it has made me question everything in my life.

I was brought up Lutheran and than practiced Catholism and have a strong belief in God and Jesus, and unfortunately these days I am begginning to feel in a league of my own.

Nevertheless because I was introduced to many Lds Principles and books by an old friend I was intrgued and felt some sort of well I felt something closer to my beliefs than most.

Because I have been listening to LDS podcasts and reading the Book of Mormon questing my life..and why I feel so different from others..as far as my values I am questioning if this is the Church for me.

Now the big Q....Being a divorcee and w/all the families in the Church I have to admit I am a little uncomfortable with the idea if I joined I would be the only single member..I do not want to feel like an outcast, as I already know I may lose friends and have family members give me grief if I convert.

Is LDS really like a "BIG" family are there chances to meet other Widowed divorced men with similar values?

Is the Church really strict as far as the Bishops ect.

I have so much questioning about everything right now going on internally that the only thing that keeps me going is prayer and this site helps with my questions also.

If others who have converted or members that wish to share thier thoughts about the Church with me PLEASE SHARE...I am having a really difficult time..

and EACH and EVERY mail really comforts me ..Thank You..SeekerofLight

[Canuck Mormon]

Sorry to hear about your divorce. It's a tough thing to go through. I went through the same thing about 5 years ago. I wasn't active at the time but decided to come back for various reasons. I felt the same way, am I going to be the only single one there? It turns out I was, but it didn't matter to them. There are single adult activities for you to attend, if you wish. There are also LDS single websites where you can meet with others in similar situations. Although the church is family oriented, they don't shun those that are single.

Good luck and I hope it turns out for the best for you.

[Gwen]

divorce rates are on the rise everywhere, even in the chruch. so you would not be alone. i can't speak for your area but around here there doesn't seem to be much stigma with it. you will hear the doctrine of eternal families and the ideal goal of course but not in a form of ridicule. there have even been some ensign articles recently about being a single parent, dealing with divorce, etc. i would find the local missionaries or unit and just find out what is there.

[Misshalfway]

Hello there and welcome! I am happy to meet you. Sorry to hear of your recent divorce, but excited to hear that you are searching and questioning and reading. I hope you find solace and truth in your investigations of the church. I have found more real truth in this church. There is a lot of truth in the world scattered among the many places in the world. Truth that has blessed my life. But, I have found such growth and light and comfort because of my membership and understanding of the LDS faith. It is hard to describe. My belief goes beyond even the church organization itself. Anyway, I am babbling......

There are lots of single women..... and men in the LDS church. It is like a big family in that wherever you go in the world, the services and organization and beliefs are the same. When you move and contact the church, it is like you have instant friends... people who are aware of you and keep track of you. The church has lots of activities just for the single members. You most certainly will meet others who are single as well. I know of many who have divorced and been remarried to someone with like values. It happens all the time.

There are lots of married people who have struggled in their marriages too. People who may not be single but with whom you may find common ground. We are just a group of normal people, with normal problems, doing the best that we can to follow God and give to the world.

It is good to know you. How are you feeling about the Book of Mormon so far? Kinda crazy to think of God helping man find more scripture, eh?

[NeuroTypical]

I am a little uncomfortable with the idea if I joined I would be the only single member..I do not want to feel like an outcast, as I already know I may lose friends and have family members give me grief if I convert.

You most likely would be in good company in most any ward you come to. This church preaches 'the ideal', but is very much aware that 'the ideal' is something that many of us have problems attaining.

Thinking back across all the wards I've lived in:

* My former bishop was a divorced man.

* The best home teacher my family ever had was going through a divorce during the time he home taught us.

* My current ward has quite a number of divorced, single, or widowed people. Along with 2 or 3 'his and hers' 2nd or 3rd marriages.

Our church is big on families. We do our best to strengthen marriages. But we certainly understand that sometimes we make mistakes, or our best efforts aren't quite enough.

Welcome!

LM

[WillowTheWhisp]

In our ward there are single people who have never married, divorced people who have remarried, divorced people who have not remarried, widowed people who have and who have not remarried and people who have been married for years. An eternal relationship is something to aspire to but it doesn't always happen for everyone. Whatever your personal situation you will be welcome. Remember you are part of Heavenly Father's family. I'm going through a particularly hard time at the moment and that is keeping me going in a way. I need to be part of the church with the love and support I am getting from my 'family' there.

[tree]

hello and welcome, my family doesnt really have any thing to do with me, especialy since i joined the church. but my branch is so loving and so close to each other that i for once in my life feel like i have a real family, (bonds unbreakable,) you would never be alone and you would never regret joining. the LDS church is the real church and i leave this with you in the name of JESUS CHRIST. keep in touch, tree

[SeekerofLight]

Thank so much for that ...

Isn't it a shame we have to have our religious beliefs, in this day and age break families apart, and not respect our be;iefs, especially since LDS are known for there "GOOD DEEDS".

Would are friends and families feel better if we were a drug user or criminal!!!

I can relate to you on that family issue ( that is what I also why I am intersted in the LDS Church),

I am told they are like a Family..

I am happy that you foundnow have a true family..good for standing up for your beliefs...Thanks for the reply..May you be blessed.....SeekerofLight...

[tree]

i know my oldest sister is a lesbian ( sweet as can be tho) my other sister is going around drunk half the time and my brother looks down on the whole family like we are some kind of plague, so here i am lds love heavenly father with all my heart and want to love and help every body but i am disowned because of my beliefs and the UN-worldly way i choose to live my life, its totaly messed up! all i can say is come quickly LORD JESUS!! take me home to a peaceful eternity!!

[the Ogre]

Seeker:

Sorry about the divorce. Mine happened at the 15 year mark as well. I am active in my ward and always have been.

I don't want to blow bubbles in your direction neither do I want to be overly negative, but in saying the divorced people in the church generally have a decent reception at church is true, there are times that being a divorcee can be [heck].

To be honest, I am not the best example: I don't put up with people being stupid, but the church can not tell you to never come back just because one is a jerk or even divorced. I love the church and the gospel and my L-rd and S-vior, its the other members that I have trouble with, but then I live in Utah Valley where some truly world-class narrow minded people reside.

The church thinks divorce is wrong, but like Chr-st, it recognizes the world is a wicked stinking place where people just stop being good or just plain decent (my ex decided she liked this other dude [and then later on a bunch of other dudes and booze and . . . ] more then me) and so it happens and so it goes.

Remember G-d loves you (even if you never become LDS) and wants you to be happy and whole and as such you (like me) have to give up the anger that came from the divorce and redirect that energy into loving your children and being a good parent.

Good luck.

Aaron the Ogre

[dallltho]

There are plenty of members who are divorcees. There are even those that are seeking remarriage and date and in many case they are able to find a new companion and continue a new family. Check out some of these sites where you can meet more single LDS people.

LDSPlanet.com - Bringing Single LDS Members Together

LDS SINGLES MINGLE: LDS Personals for Online LDS Singles - Mar 4, 2008

LDS Singles Online® - Online LDS Dating Personals for LDS Singles - Mar 4, 2008

The church is very family oriented, but in many cases members grow together as an extended family.

You could even go talk to the Bishop of the ward you are going to and express your concern to him. He is the keeper of flock and he can help you also.

I know the church is true. Pray and fast and follow the feelings in your heart.

Sincerely, dallltho

my blog: dallltho.blogspot.com

[SeekerofLight]

Thanks for the good advice..

I feel your pain my H of 15 years did the same to me 2 different woman (both also married) in 3 years..That was it!!!

Can you tell me I have been to SLC thinking of going to classes at Uof Utah what is the living actually like there I live outside Cjicago and I want OUT of here looking to relocate when I am all done w/this mess and need to polish up skills to work FT again... Is it better than "The Valley" not sure where that is.....

Thanks again:)

[SeekerofLight]

:):) You will never know how much all your posts help me Thanks to you ALL!!!

Seekerof Light

[dallltho]

Yeah, Salt Lake is a great place. It is big enough of a city to have all of the stores and benefits of living in a big city, and it is close to all of the Church sites around here like the Salt Lake Temple, Temple Square, the Conference Center, and the Genealogy Library. It's a great place. However, there are over 1 million people in the Salt Lake Valley. So, it is still a big place, and sometimes big places have the crime and disadvantages that come with it.

"The Valley" is probably Utah Valley, which is where Provo and Brigham Young University are located. It is also a great place, just not as big as Salt Lake, so not as much crime and things, but still is very close to Salt Lake (about 45 minutes)

Thanks for the good advice..

I feel your pain my H of 15 years did the same to me 2 different woman (both also married) in 3 years..That was it!!!

Can you tell me I have been to SLC thinking of going to classes at Uof Utah what is the living actually like there I live outside Cjicago and I want OUT of here looking to relocate when I am all done w/this mess and need to polish up skills to work FT again... Is it better than "The Valley" not sure where that is.....

Thanks again:)