Even if I wanted to be a Member it will never happen...

[MorningStar]

Hi Kona,

I understand how frustrated you must be, but I know that Heavenly Father will help you. He doesn't command us to do anything without providing a way.

My husband and I went through a lot of financial stress. He joined the Air Force and we were at poverty level because of the high cost of living in our area (if we had been stationed in a different area, we would've been fine). The majority of enlisted people here qualified for food stamps then. Long story, but the military was not a good experience for us and when he got out, what he was trained in was not useful in the civilian world so he had to start from scratch while we had a 7 month old baby. He got into construction making very little, then he started making a little more working for my uncle's excavation company - still no sick or holiday pay though and life was pretty stressful. Then I expressed my frustration to our Relief Society president and she said her husband was putting an ad in that day for his company. He came over that night and told my husband what to put on his resume so he would get the job. This was such a huge blessing! He had vacation, sick pay, and health insurance for him. Lucky for me, I was able to get reduced insurance through the state, so we didn't have to worry about health insurance anymore. Our budget was still very, very tight and at times we needed help from the church, but this job gave him excellent skills. They trained him in carpentry, plumbing, and electrical work, then when he was laid-off, my sister called in less than 30 minutes after my husband told me. She had no idea he had been laid-off and she asked if my husband would be interested in a finish carpenter position at her company. I said, "Um, yeah! He just got laid-off!" It paid over $2 more per hour, it was closer, had gas reimbursement, benefits for the whole family, etc. For the first time, we weren't living paycheck to paycheck. Things seemed so hopeless years ago and he also had failed attempts to go to school. I even applied for financial aid and was denied even though we only made $14,000 that year. There really wasn't any logical reason why I should've been denied, but I was.

Because of all the skills my husband gained, he has become very valuable to companies. Many of his bosses have said they need more people like him, but they are hard to find. One guy didn't want him to become a supervisor because he wouldn't be able to find anyone to do all the work he knows how to do. Now he is a superintendent and is learning the skills he needs to start his own business. We still struggle at times, but I know Heavenly Father will continue to give us the things we need.

That's wonderful that you like your job. Do you have a raise or promotion coming in the future? How long have you worked there? Could you possibly work a second part-time job? Really, you have a lot of options and if you didn't have a girlfriend, it sounds like it would be hard even to support yourself on your current income for long.

What are your talents and interests? Are you qualified to give lessons of some sort or tutor in a certain subject? You said your girlfriend receives $400 a month? I am sure there is a job out there that would cover that amount if you lost her income.

[kona0197]

Kona,

Use your faith! Rely on your faith in God's power more than your need for a roof over your head!! God wants your faith more than your roof! Let God move the mountains in your life. He is good at that. It is easy for him. And it is His absolute joy to do so. Let your will be swallowed up into His will. There is tremendous safety there!

Sorry. I've never had much faith and nothing but bad luck keeping a roof over my head. If I have to choose I'll have faith in myself to survive.

Just looking over past emails I realize that if she had social security based on her own income then they care not if we get married. Currently her benefits are based on her dad's income. I guess we need to re-apply.

[Misshalfway]

I am not suggesting that a person run out and blindly jump. I am saying don't discount the Lord's ability to solve these problems or bring helpful people and information into our lives that help solve big problems. Saying that "I can't" is not using faith. I am suggesting changing that statement to "I absolutely CAN with the Lords help. He will provide a way for me to obey him."

[Misshalfway]

And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible. Mark 10:27

Is anything too hard for the Lord?

[crytsprospect]

You are right Misshalfway but you have to be at that point. I know what you say is true. Sometimes the answers don't just come overnight and we have to work towards the goals.

[Misshalfway]

I am not discounting the fact that these things ARE hard. I have many hard things that I am convinced are too hard for me to surmount. I am just saying that there is more power in believing than there is in doubt. How do we get to "that point" if we are not invited....if we don't trust a step into the dark? I can't say whether or not Kona's problems will take a long time to fix. Sometimes things do happen overnight. They have for me. Not everything in my life. But whenever there has been an obstacle to obedience, I have seen God work over and over and over again. It is the faith of a mustard seed that moves mountains. Not the faith of a tree. I am simply testifying of that and issuing an invitation to try and believe a little more. I don't think the invitation should be weakened because my faith is weak.

God helps us with our problems. That is why he tells us to pray to him over every part of our lives (Alma). He sends help and answers. He parts seas that are red, gives manna, provides pillars of fire and smoke, changes water to wine, frees from bondage, and literally moves mountains. He can solve problems with social security. It is man that thinks these things are impossible. It is man that can't see around corners and loses faith because of it. And it is God that consistently invites us to "Be still, and Know that I am God."

I don't mean to argue. Please forgive me. Just feel strongly about this stuff. Hate to see anyone feel they can't get baptized because of temporal circumstances.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Just looking over past emails I realize that if she had social security based on her own income then they care not if we get married. Currently her benefits are based on her dad's income. I guess we need to re-apply.

This sounds like a promising start. It may even turn out that you end up better off if what she gets now is based on her Dad's income and if her Dad's income is greater than yours. I will pray that you will have a successful outcome to your enquiries on this.

[tree]

i got married last may and I've not been cut off at all and i have medicaid and medicare, but i worked for years before i got it, so your girlfriend receives hers off her fathers ss income, you should call and talk to the social security people and see what your options will be. you have to make a certain amount of money before they will lower or deny her a check. if you only make 700.00 a month and she collects 400.00 i dont see where that should hurt very much if at all. but i dont have all the facts so check it out, what could it hurt ?

[tree]

:sunny::sunny:i got married last may and I've not been cut off at all and i have medicaid and medicare, but i worked for years before i got it, so your girlfriend receives hers off her fathers ss income, you should call and talk to the social security people and see what your options will be. you have to make a certain amount of money before they will lower or deny her a check. if you only make 700.00 a month and she collects 400.00 i dont see where that should hurt very much if at all. but i dont have all the facts so check it out, what could it hurt ?

[MorningStar]

Another option - If your girlfriend's SS money is dropped, there still might be something she is able to do even though she's been injured. A friend of mine takes customer service calls from home. A person could even lay in bed doing that. A friend of mine has multiple disabilities, but she has spent her life doing volunteer work, which eventually led her to employment. She answers phones at Home Depot.

One thing I could never understand about my uncle - He was injured as a fireman while hauling a drunk guy out of a ditch, which strained his back. But for years he has done side work as a carpenter and he does all sorts of stuff around his home. I didn't understand how he could be considered completely disabled when he was able to do a lot.

[Traveler]

No - it's the fact that I need a roof over my head more than I need to be a member.

You are not the first to ever face this dilemma. In the days when Jesus walked the earth there was a rich young man that asked Jesus how to obtain eternal life. Jesus told him to keep the commandments. The young man answered that he was keeping the commandments. Jesus then told the man to sell all that he had and to come follow him. The man decided not to do it because he had many possessions and he loved his money more than he love the L-rd.

Though your situation is not really similar you are one of the first that I have encountered that though they have little – that little is loved more than the L-rd and thought that a roof over your head is believed to be more valuable than keeping the commandments and having eternal life. Perhaps should we ever meet again you can let me know how your choice profited you.

The Traveler

[Adeipho]

You might wonder why after all the things I've said here about investigating the church why I haven't joined the Church. I would like to join. The fact is I just can't.

You see it mostly has to do with the Social Security laws. The laws state that should my girlfriend and I get married she would lose her income. She is on Social Security. I only make about 700 a month at work therefore we need that income to survive.

The church says we can not become members until we get married as we live together.

So as you see I can't become a member.

I am NOT willing to let her lose her income and become a member just to end up homeless.

So flame on....

I still think the church asks to much of us.

So get on food stamps, and live in a cheeper place, like your parents house etc...or apply with HUD and then, get a BETTER JOB! It can be done, depends on how badly you want it. The hand outs are too many for you to pretend that there is no way for you to make it. Remember, Alexander the Great ruled the known world by age 24.....Get out there and DO IT!

[kona0197]

Funny you should mention all those things. We have food stamps. 10 dollars a month. We are on HUD.

People please quit telling me to quit my job or get a better job. I'm happy at Walmart.

Hand outs? Yeah right....

[Adeipho]

Oh ya, you sound really happy at Wal-Mart. I believe that to be happy one must also be free. How free are you? Or at least how hard to you try to be free? You're so "free" that you cant even, as you say, afford to join the church of your desire because your live in g/f will lose her social security HAND OUT? I dont know her story but why doesnt she get a job? If the illegals can do it she can. And if she's disabled then there are places that hire them too.

And if you love workingat Wal-Mart thats GREAT..but move up, get a promotion, apply for a higher position etc....make things work for you and this woman.

wise man said, Poop or get off the potty.

And I don't buy that you only get $10 a month. And HUD will pay your rent if you make so little. I have a business partner who rent's HUD out of one of his properties.

[skalenfehl]

Adeipho, ease up, bud.

[kona0197]

Oh ya, you sound really happy at Wal-Mart. I believe that to be happy one must also be free. How free are you? Or at least how hard to you try to be free? You're so "free" that you cant even, as you say, afford to join the church of your desire because your live in g/f will lose her social security HAND OUT? I dont know her story but why doesnt she get a job? If the illegals can do it she can. And if she's disabled then there are places that hire them too.

And if you love workingat Wal-Mart thats GREAT..but move up, get a promotion, apply for a higher position etc....make things work for you and this woman.

wise man said, Poop or get off the potty.

And I don't buy that you only get $10 a month. And HUD will pay your rent if you make so little. I have a business partner who rent's HUD out of one of his properties.

Let me set you straight.

I am happy at Walmart. Being happy at your place of employment is a very important thing. Why doesn't my girlfriend get a job? Probably because it hurts her to stand longer than an hour at a time and the fact that if she works she loses her SS income.

I would appreciate it if you would not talk about her the way you have. Very disrespectful.

We do only get 10 dollars of food stamps a month because we failed to report some income to the food stamp people a few years ago and that resulted in an food stamp overpayment. So they take all of our benefits to pay back that overpayment. I make to much at Walmart to get food stamps so by law they give us 10 dollars and that is taken for the over payment.

HUD does pay some of our rent but that too is based on our income.

Now please think twice before you post as you did before. That was awful disrespectful.

[Adeipho]

I dont mean to sound mean. its not my intent, and for that I apologize.

I just dont buy the poor me stories. You wife/g/f cant stand? thats cool, get a job that doesnt require standing. can she type? Transcriptionists get paid well to sit on their bum and type at home at their own hours. (talk to Girlydolphin) she does it.

And its too bad you failed to report income and now have to pay it back...perhaps if you had not with held that information.

I'm not attacking you friend, but I'm not going to watch you wallow in the muck and then pat you on the head and say how sorry I am for you. We all have our sob stories, but its what we do in reaction that matters. My mother left an abusive husband in the night and towed 4 kids to a shelter for women who are beat. Shelter required her to find work within a time limit or else we were on the streets. You think our family was there for us? My grandfather told her that the family was thinking of her but she was on her own. Why? Teach her a lesson for living with an abusive husband for so long? Who knows but that is what happened.

Myself, I've had to fight to keep my house, my cars, my sanity! At one time I went from $60,000 a year down to bringing $5.oo hour over night when I was laid off out of the blue! And just because my income shrank doesnt mean my costs and debts got smaller, no I had to work my butt off to keep what I had and get back on my feet.....took almost a year to get back where I was and I'm still working at it.

I've been on food stamps, I've had to put my family on medicade. And you know what I could have just stayed on the system, I mean when I made no money I got free food, free medical for family and help with all my bills! Why would I give that up? Because I have self pride and ambition. And if I found the Lord's church and wanted to join it, I would not let a SS check get in the way of that. Is that your only reason ? Is that all that is holding you back? Dont let a SS check keep you from living your life to the fullest man!!!

When we were on uncle sam's dime my daughter needed serious medical attention and instead of just not getting her seen due to lack of funds, we worked our self to death finding a way. We didnt let the fact we had no money keep us from getting her spine and heart operated on by some of the finest doctors in our state.

I'm preaching so I'll shut up.

But you puzzle me. I dont understand why you are willing to settle for so little when you are capable of so much more.

[kona0197]

"But you puzzle me. I dont understand why you are willing to settle for so little when you are capable of so much more."

Probably because this is the best that I've had things in my life to this point.

[VisionOfLehi]

You can still do more!

And, even if you hate a job that pays better, it's worth it if it gets you to a point where you have the money to put yourself in a better position.

[kona0197]

New job would mean going to school correct? I burnt that bridge a very long time ago.

[VisionOfLehi]

Nope, it means looking around the town, keeping an eye out for new positions. I've had several that paid really well and all I had was my HS Diploma!

[kona0197]

Around here the top jobs are at Walmart ot Lowe's. I have an app in at Lowe's. And in case you haven't noticed no one is hiring now due to the economy being so bad.

[VisionOfLehi]

I just go hired, a day after a put in an application, and at 7.75/hr. So, people ARE hiring.

[kona0197]

7.75? I'm getting more than that at Walmart.

[skalenfehl]

My wife works at Wal Mart so that we can have health insurance. It's not much, but better than what I could provide as a contractor.