Well, fancy that then.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Have you ever come across something that you never realised you didn't know?

On Wednesday evening I was helping our Bishop's wife to decorate the chapel for a wedding on Saturday. As she was draping organza around a flower arrangement and trailing some ivy from the flowers along the organza to some lovely big bows she commented,

"It's a good job we have an understanding Bishop because we aren't really supposed to do this."

I never realised before that we are instructed not to decorate in such a way for weddings because every LDS wedding I have ever been to has had a decorated chapel with flowers and stuff at the front.

I realise this won't really crop up in the USA as you tend to have weddings in the Temple but over here by law we have to have a 'civil ceremony' outside of the Temple sealing first in order for the marriage to be legal and then the temple bit follows.

We aren't allowed to have the wedding march either for the bride coming in - you know the famous "here comes the bride" tune, but I already knew that.

[Moksha]

We aren't allowed to have the wedding march either for the bride coming in - you know the famous "here comes the bride" tune, but I already knew that.

My former wife really wanted a wedding procession, so we used the Church basketball/auditorium area for the procession, reception and dance area. Even brought in a Judge in order to have a ceremony with our own wedding vows. We were going to use the Unitarian Minister, but she charged too much. That would however have been a bit of a novelty for an LDS Church. :)

[Jenamarie]

I imagine it's because they don't want the civil ceremony to take focus away from the Temple ceremony, which is the most important. You see brides outside of the church spend enormous amounts of money on the ceremony, trying to plan for the perfect "day", that the focus can quickly be taken away from the vows that will be made, and put more on the wordly aspects of the day. I could see the same happening for LDS couples, putting so much of their energy into planning for the civil ceremony, that the Temple ceremony loses it's rightful place as the "highlight", and most special part of the day.

[BenRaines]

I know that in the US weddings are not held in the chapel. They can be held in the building but not in the area where services are held. Weddings at the church building and receptions are held in the cultural hall or basketball court for lack of another name. Only thing I know of held in the chapel area of the church other than regular church service are appropriate spiritual musical number and funerals.

Ben Raines

[Jenamarie]

I know that in the US weddings are not held in the chapel. They can be held in the building but not in the area where services are held. Weddings at the church building and receptions are held in the cultural hall or basketball court for lack of another name. Only thing I know of held in the chapel area of the church other than regular church service are appropriate spiritual musical number and funerals.

Ben Raines

One of the couples in my ward was married in the Relief Society room (she was a fairly recent convert). It's probably a nicer looking room than the cultural hall, undecorated.

[WillowTheWhisp]

I haven't known a wedding take place in any other part of the building than the chapel. I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that most member's relatives are non-members?

[pushka]

I think it's sad if you can't have decorations or the wedding march...

[WillowTheWhisp]

Actually not having the wedding march gave us the incentive to look at lots of other possible music and we had Pachabel's Canon which was beautiful. I have known people use some pretty weird stuff though which I would have considered less appropriate than the usual wedding march.

I can't help wondering if other wards and branches decorate their chapels though. When I married my first husband it was in a different ward and we had a decorated chapel then too, we even had thingies on the end of every pew. I just can't remember going to an undecorated wedding.

[pam]

I haven't known a wedding take place in any other part of the building than the chapel. I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that most member's relatives are non-members?

I don't know about other parts of the world where civil weddings are required prior to the temple ceremony....but weddings don't take place in the chapels here as to keep the chapel a reverent and sacred place to worship our Father in Heaven. As others have mentioned...we use the RS room or the cultural hall for weddings here.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Would you decorate the cultural hall?

Our chapel is a bit multipurpose in that the cultural hall IS the chapel. We don't have any of those basket ball hoops or markings on the floor or anything. We just have a curtain which pulls across in front of the stand and then the room is used for socials. Our RS room would be way too small to fit a wedding into. You'd be limited to about 6 guests each including the witnesses!

I suppose things have to be flexible to fit in the the dimensions of buildings etc.

Of course there is nothing to stop people going and having a civil ceremony in a hired hall or posh building. Legally weddings can take place in this country in lots of weird and wonderful places and this is only the legal side of things after all. My stepdaughter got married in Rockingham Castle. The setting was beautiful for photographs.

I'm off soon to sort out the final arrangements with today's and hope all goes well.

[Elphaba]

I don't know about other parts of the world where civil weddings are required prior to the temple ceremony....but weddings don't take place in the chapels here as to keep the chapel a reverent and sacred place to worship our Father in Heaven.

Obviously, somewhere, Latter-day Saints are getting married in LDS chapels. Are you saying their weddings mar the sacred reverence of those chapels?

Elphaba

[SmilingRedhead]

All the weddings I have been to here in England (including my own) have been held in the chapel. I walked down the 'aisle' (between the pews) with my dad and the ceremony was performed by our Bishop. Our reception was held at a different venue and then we left for the Temple after the dinner around 4pm... I know a lot of couples have their reception in the cultural hall behind the chapel.

I couldn't imagine Heavenly Father being anything but happy to have a man and a woman legally wed by their Bishop in the chapel accompanied by beautiful music and some lovely talks and more than a few tears shed... :)

[Brother Dorsey]

Which brings up a funny story.....

A couple weeks ago my family and I were attending a Baptism at our chapel for a new convert. We always enter the building through the main doors (there are doors on the other side of the building). The font room is located on the backside of the building and the fastest way to get there is through the cultural hall. At this point we noticed that the cultural hall doors were all tied shut with red silk ribbons. Curious, I untied a ribbon and peaked inside and I could not believe my eyes. It was no longer a cultural hall/basket ball court/stage etc., It had been transformed with huge carpets, table cloths, chair covers, bunting all around the room, huge columns and curtains, fake trees galore, twinkle lights, and each table was decorated to the hilt and where some people line the ceiling with crap aper this was lined with yards of cloth....it was fantastic. It, looked like a palace. I was stunned, it had to have taken many many people all night to decorate it. My wife and I stood there with our jaws hanging and she looks at me a says, "If this is the reception for this person who's getting baptized today, then make sure we get invited to their wedding when that happens." But seriously...it was decorated so elaborate that at any minute I expected doves to fly around the room.

[pam]

Obviously, somewhere, Latter-day Saints are getting married in LDS chapels. Are you saying their weddings mar the sacred reverence of those chapels?

Elphaba

I'm not saying that at all. There are different cultures and laws that would possibly make exceptions to the rules we know here in the States. I just know what I've known all my life (only having experience in the States mind you) that we don't hold weddings in the chapel for the sacredness of the chapels. When I was in Hong Kong and attended church, the building I was in had very few "other" rooms other than the chapel to hold such things.

I have been to a couple of weddings in chapels here in the states over the years....but they weren't allowed to decorate the chapel. They could decorate the cultural hall for the reception.

[BenRaines]

Handbook of instructions that that Bishops have do not recommend, won't say allow, marriages to be performed in what we would call the chapel part of the building. That said I understand the reasoning for it in the UK since it is required that they marry before going to the temple. In other parts of the world, and US, there are what are called Class A buildings. These are small, one large room buildings with smaller classrooms where the sacrament meeting area is the same area used for social events. Wedding are commonly performed there if not in the temple.

When I was branch president in Grand Cayman we just held them on the beach. If not in the temple why does it matter where held. :) Against a beautiful sunset or sunrise what a prettier settling.

Ben Raines

[pam]

Thanks Ben for reemphasizing what I was trying to say.

[Moksha]

Obviously, somewhere, Latter-day Saints are getting married in LDS chapels. Are you saying their weddings mar the sacred reverence of those chapels?

Elphaba

We have had several discussions about this at Beliefnet. Sometimes there are weddings in the Chapel (seems most notably in California). The rules in the Chapel seem much tighter. I would assume much of this is at the discretion of the Bishop.