omega0401

Adolescence is a period of rapid change. While a child is between the ages of 12 and 17, a parent may age 20 years. (the truth is out)

From Dear Abby: Every time people insist they're right, I recall a story I read somewhere about a husband who insisted that his wife was becoming hard of hearing and planned to prove it. While working in the back yard one day, he stood a distance behind her and said, Martha, can you hear me?" No response. Moving closer, he repeated: "Martha, can you hear me?" Still no response. He moved closer still and said, "Now can you hear me?" She replied, "For the third time, yes".

Thank you. I didn't realize the basic four was called the Mormon 4.

For those that have never heard of "the mormon 4", please enlighten us.

A FELLOW COMPUTER PROGRAMMER for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He requested my assistance in putting it into operation. At first, he handled most of the work, with me just doing corrections and inputting data. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him." Surprised, I replied that my colleague was far more experienced than I was. "Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get real nervous around smart people." Sigh...

My new data-entry assistant could often be heard offering encouragement to her computer. "You can do it, big guy!" she would say. "Good boy! Nice job, fella." After one particularly lengthy pep talk, I asked, "How do you know your computer's male?" Her reply was very simple, "Because you have to tell it what to do." Groan....

Some old but still fun riddles.... Why can’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny. What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The winner of a hide and seek game. Why didn’t the sesame seed leave Las Vegas? He was on a roll. What did the Chicken say when she saw a plate of scrambled eggs? Oh, my mixed up kids.

You've probably seen this before but worth a second read.... Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. If this made you smile for even a brief second, please “rise” to the occasions and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who “kneads” it

Nice source of videos. Thanks Hemi.

Just for clarification, when I read "view" I was thinking "video". I can only find the words to the conference talks and not the video or did I miss a link somewhere? But this is a good website to get to the conferences talks quickly. Thanks.

There are a few books on the Apostasy. Here is one that I thoroughly enjoyed reading. It's called The Inevitable Apostasy and the Promised Restoration by Tad R. Callister and it is 464 pages in length. If you want to read about the Apostasy, this is the first book I would recommend. I enjoyed it much more than Talmage's book. It gives a lot of sources from where he got his information from. You will definitely learn a lot from it. If you are interested, it can be purchased at Amazon. Here is a link and with more information from other readers... The Inevitable Apostasy .

Merry Christmas to all my brothers and sisters out there, both member and non-member of our church. And I'm thankful for the greatest gift of all - our Lord and Savior, the Son of the Living God!!!!!!

Hemi, you got that right! I liked the way you stated it. That is one area that I think most of us in the church need to improve in and I include myself. I remember being in my home ward priesthood meeting. A brother came up to me and welcomed me to church and was glad to see me. Asked me name, etc. He did that with everyone that was in the room at the time. It turned out, this brother was a visitor himself and he was fellowshipping us! What a great example that was! Some people just have that gift of fellowshipping, not afraid to meet and know people, and being sensitive to other people's needs or loneliness while others have to work at it. I'm still working at it.

I remember listening to this talk in General Conference and it was a powerful talk. One of the best he's ever given and delivered with such great emotion and was listened to with such great emotion. Yes, this was his last talk in General Conference. His talk was delivered in April 2007 and it can be read here... The Power of Forgiveness at LDS.org I also have this talk on the church's DVD of General Conference. It is so great to be able to collect these DVD's and be able to pull them out and listen to your favorite talks. It's a great tradition we have going of collecting them. It's something you might like to consider and enjoy doing.

Did you ever feel like this one person did? I had a life once.....now I have a computer and a DSL line.

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm just so in love with my twenty-five-year-old wife." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man. Between the sobs and sniffles, he answers, "You can't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, she cooks me breakfast and kisses me and tells me she loves me ... at lunchtime she comes home and embraces me warmly, and then she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home with ice cream, the best an old man could want. And then after a gourmet supper, she gives me a warm bath, and cuddles up with me all night." He breaks down, no longer able to speak. The young man puts his arm around him. "Oh, I think I see - I bet you just found out she's with you for your money?" "No," the old man answers through his sobbing and tears, "I forgot where I live."

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. Because they both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that that husband would fly to Florida on Thursday and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidently left off one letter in her address and sent the email without realizing his error. In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been "called home to glory" after a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer message which read: To: My Loving Wife From: Your Departed Husband Subject: I've Arrived!! I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you here. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. It sure is hot down here!

Here is a short video of some of the teachings our leaders have given... .

Here is a link about the movie, Father in Israel. Pres. Kimball makes a great statement about the performing arts. BYU NewsNet - LDS Film Artist Follows Counsel in New Movie Created by the same person who created Errant of Angels. If any gets the chance to preview it, I hope you'll let us know what you thought about it.

I thought this was a wonderful story of how someone joined the church. After all she went through during the holocaust and through life, when she found the church she exclaimed: “.....that I've finally came home.” I think a lot of people feel that way when they join the church. Holocaust Survivor finds the church. .

You could say it is called Capitalism to the HIGHEST degree.

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all the conflicting medical studies: 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausage and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you

Express lanes in grocery stores: I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the checkout line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?" – Reader’s Digest, "All In a Day's Work" by Bonnie Jones You gotta love the humor of that cashier.

It does makes sense. It is interesting that Satan gives temptations unto men that they might sin and move further from God. God gives weakness unto men that they might be humble and to grow closer to Him.

In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. "I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?" "For about 60 years." "60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship." "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?" "Like I'm talking to a wall."