georgia2

If someone unfriends you, Facebook doesn't send you a notice!

I've never heard this either. The only thing necessary is for the parent to give permission for the sealing. (Most wont). If the adoption thing is right, it sure is different than I was told!

I Agree. If you don't bring it up he surely won't! He wants it to go away. Put the porn filters on for starters. The ones he can't get around. If you feel you would like to talk to the Bishop, do it. If he knows, so what and who cares? You are going for you! If he doesn't want the Bishop to know then he REALLY NEEDS to do some fast repenting, apologizing and be so blubbering sincere you will feel like it's taken care of and no need to go. I doubt this will happen since you've been with him for two days & he hasn't said a word. If you are like me and you sound like you are, this has totally made you feel stripped of your confidence as a woman.. If you don't begin to talk and let him know how this is making you feel, it will soon turn to blistering anger. After all. You are expecting HIS baby. You don't need these feelings, especially anger while pregnant. You could start the conversation with that approach and in a calm, quiet manner so he might listen that way instead of putting up defense barriers. You know him. You know if you will be able to discuss this or not.

for sure. There isn't any need for yelling or anger. Hurt is more the issue and if he listens and is remorseful and compassionate, she won't need to start yelling and screaming. But, if on the other hand, he doesn't respond like she needs, then that's when the anger comes out. And I don't think when someone feels shamed and "caught" they have too much compassion for the spouse. The less you talk about it the better the offending spouse likes it. (been my experience anyway) Then they get angry because they don't want to admit and discuss how much it hurt the other person. That's when the yelling starts!

Well yeah, of course. But the spouse always looks to their self to see where they were lacking so their spouse had to go else-wear. I haven't had the porn issue, but have had the other. Hard.........very very hard! and the trust is out the window. with the porn issue, she's just a click away...... very very hard!

I wasn't criticizing anyones point. I think I was typing as they were posting. most of the time an issue like this comes up people tell the spouse it has noting to do with them. Of course this woman's husbands decision to view porn on the internet is not because she is less of a woman, not satisfying. or whatever natural insecurity pops in to her head. It is his choice, his temptation, his battle. What I was saying is that it DOES affect her. It affects her in a big way! And of course she shouldn't act like a mother, but she has every right to let him know how much it hurts. She has EVERY RIGHT to stop the trash from coming in to her home and on her computer. So if he chooses to view this stuff he'll have to be inconvenienced a bit. Of course she should be loving and supportive and help find help if he WANTS it. But she shouldn't hide how much this hurts because that's very damaging to her emotional health AND their relationship. He has to own what he has done. He has to comprehend the long lasting effects this can or will have on her and his relationship with her AND any other woman! I'm also aware that some people who view and are addicted have issues from their past. (abuse, mental illness, exploitation, lack of communication skills) It also can be used as a substitute for real, loving, open and honest relationships. Real relationships are hard work and require sacrifice. Pictures on a screen are easy.

THis is not the first time. He denied and tried to blame you? He stood in the circle the next day? He is so familiar with this that he has been able to excuse himself without feeling guilty. What to do? People who view porn say it has nothing to do with their spouse. Thats trash! It has everything to do with their spouse as it makes them feel inferior, betrayed, vulnerable and STUPID! Porn also demeans women and turns them in to objects. This does not stop when the computer is turned off. Other than telling him how you feel, changing the pass word so he can't get in when no one is up, and putting netnanny on call, you need to take care OF YOU ! THe only person you can save is YOU ! Don't let this destroy your spirituality or self confidence! Don't let his transgressions define your mood or actions. If you don't want to talk or be around him, then so be it and HE needs to feel bad NOT YOU! I think the deployed thing is a cop out. Sure men deployed look at and talk about it, but so do men NOT DEPLOYED ! It is a frame of mind and whether they allow satan's temptations in. If that excuse works then so should, well honey, you were deployed so I ..... well I ..... uh..... I found a substitute for YOU !! Is he going to go for that one? Do you have daughters? ASk him how he feels about HER being in that business! That being said, porn is a BIG BIG problem with everyone now! IT is so available and seductive. You can't stop him BUT YOU CAN stop if from being in your home. There are modems available that blocks it before it gets in. I've seen it advertised on BYUtv. I use netnanny but have been looking in to the other myself. I just don't want it in my home. PERIOD!!!

Within the last three years I heard a talk given regarding the desired qualifications for the presidencies in each of the youth auxiliaries. One of the General Authorities, during General COnference, said that the leaders of the youth should consist of the strongest members in the ward. Ones who had been sealed as a couple and a family, be very active, and have a current temple recommend. This talk really stood out for me because my husband and I have had this discussion before. The leaders for the youth in our ward sometimes consisted of women whose husband were not members and who have never been endowed themselves. Sometimes there were even inactive adults called who only came when it was their turn to teach. This topic has come up recently and our Stake President said he did not remember this talk. I have been searching and searching and cannot for the life of me find it!!! Does anyone else remember this talk or have any idea of how to do a detailed search? I have tried the advanced search option on LDS.org but to no avail. THANKS SO MUCH !!!!

The only thing I've heard in this regard is that each time you are excommunicated it is harder and harder to regain your standing in the church. I know of a man who was excommunicated twice and is now an active member. He has been active for about 25 years now. Good luck, and this time promise yourself and The Lord you will never go down that path again, then keep the promise. Nothing the adversary can entice you with is worth your eternal salvation.

Tell your Bishop, and your husband. Tell him if it doesn't stop NOW then you AND the kids ARE GONE! You do not help your kids by staying with a liar and a cheater. It teaches them that this is acceptable and they will expect their spouse to hang on when they cheat and to let their spouse cheat and humiliate them. There are worse things a person can do other than leave a spouse. One of them is to stay married to a cheating, and abusive spouse. (He is abusing you AND your kids) Then tell her husband he is allowing her to hurt his kids as well. Our kids learn by example. If they end up together, they deserve each other.

If someone had a gun in the theater when the kook went off, he would have been dead before he killed so many people. When good people carry guns they protect themselves and other good people from idiots. If a deranged person went through the area where your family reunion was and began randomly shooting, would you have been glad someone was packing to protect you? I agree he shouldn't have been playing with kids without taking it off. If he made some of your family feel uncomfortable, they should be secure enough to tell him!

Anatess is right. If you meet someone socially in a group setting while pursuing your own goals and interest, keep it at that. Then if a good man fits in that arena he will continue to see you in that capacity if that is all you will accept. As time goes on if it is a good thing it will become clear to you.

well....... they may remember, but when we go there, we are the exact people we are here! I'm not an expert but have done extensive genealogy and temple work I also come a from a broken family. We are told that even if we are members here and we can't make the marriage work here we surly won't be together there. Think of it, who would want to be joined to someone FOR ETERNITY that you can't even get along with here! Anyway......... it s not up to us decide these things and when mistakes are made in the earthly work they will be made right there. When you have children from a marriage a sealing needs to be done for the parents in order to seal the kids. Now if one parent lived a righteous life, then the kids are sealed to them. Only those who are worthy will be able to inherit the ultimate prize. I was sealed to my husband and my children. THen divorced. I AM SO GRATEFUL I was sealed to him because I wouldn't be able to have them sealed to me on earth at this time. ANd this is a great comfort to me. Now if Dad straightens his life out he will be able to be sealed to another woman. The kids being sealed to us would I guess be able to visit us whenever they want! Ultimately, it is not for us to decide so don't get worked up over the the technicalities. Heavenly Father knows all and he wants us to do the best we can,..Then after all we can do, He does the rest!

Well you ask a somewhat complicated question! first of all, people should not be sealed to someone they divorced. Why would you want to do that when they didn't even want to be with them here? The only reasonable answer would be that the children want to be sealed to their parents. You can't be sealed to your parents unless they re already sealed. In this case you would seal the biological parents together so that the kids can be linked, but the the parents sealings will be straightened out as to who they REALLY want to be with. You could do all of the other work such as baptisms, annointings and endowments. And not worry about the rest of it. NOw if you know who your grandmother would want to be with, then do that one too.

people won't be excommunicated in the spirit world because you are so much more aware of the things we can't be aware of here that if anyone changes it is for the better. somewhere, sometime, someone said if you are on the gospel path when you die, you WILL NOT get off !!!

Hey Guys THANKS ! for the input! ok......... the new member, new husband does fill out the tithing slip with his name. The check is from her account since he can't figure figures and has no account of his own. (another story) She hasn't yet changed her name and added his to her checks. (why pay for new ones when she has some already that need to be used) They just got married on fathers day. He had been paying tithing by cash before. So the BP called him in and gave him those instructions. He had to pay with HIS OWN CHECK WITH HIS OWN NAME and it WOULD not include her name. She is a life long member but has been inactive. She did not understand why he told he told her to fill out a separate tithing slip that says ZERO each week. He has been a full tithe payer since baptism several months ago. The other stuff he told them or asked them is so outrageous I don't want to put it on here because it would cause a crashed site! hahahah Stuff that makes me so upset I want to tell the SP but I don't as I feel that this is their situation and it would be wrong for me to step in. so some feed back on that one please ! hahahaha

I appreciate all your responses! THe thing that I also see that no one else has brought up is the the emphasis the church has on raising the children and how important it is. On the other hand the worldly attitude is that a woman not working is wasting their talents and basically not contributing if she doesn't earn a paycheck.. It seems very insulting and degrading to ask a woman to fill out a tithing slip every week that says ZERO. THey were told HE had to have his OWN check with his OWN name on it with HIS OWN tithing in it. He's not too good on financial things and they just married so it has been on her account because she hasn't changed it over yet. It really upset her and I can SEE WHY because I felt the same way! She's stuck between what she feels to be right and what her husband has asked "not to stir anything up" I just think it's WRONG !! My husband has served in BIshoprics and as financial clerk and he agrees. BUT the new member is the one is at risk!!!

They're concerend that he will "get in trouble" or it will come back on them and he will be angry.

Thanks guys~ ! I agree with all the answers. Problem is this info IS from their branch pres. Other very questionable things have been told to them and it bothers me GREATLY because of the newness of the convert and how vulnerable they are. I can't put other comments they have been told due to confidentiality.

I haven't been on for a LONG time and need the long time active members to answer this!! I have a dear friend who recently got married and her husband is a new member. They are under the impression that even though she doesn't work outside the home she is still supposed to fill out a tithing slip that says ZERO. HAs anyone heard of this????

We were taught that there was a more direct communication before Pentecost , LIke an angel appearing, or more direct voice from God. Burning bush situation. JEsus Told the deciples that after he left there there would be a comforter come. Hence the belief the Holy ghost did not communicate with man until After Christ ascended.

PROBLEM !!! kid is scared! Talked before and just got punished and restricted. ALso scared because even though mom mean and abusive, she loves her and wanted her to love her back!!

IT depends on where you live. Some areas are good and take the kids when they are living in drug homes. Some don't warn the parents they are coming which gives the parents time to threaten and punish the kids for telling the truth. SOme wait for a month or longer, call the parents, tell them why they are coming, then wait a few more weeks for appointment. By then, place cleaned up, groceries in fridge, kids cleaned up, spanked, threatened, and wouldn't dare open their mouths. Thats the kind of town this kid lives in. Been dealing with it for 13 years.. ALl I can really hope for is the kid to tell or to grow up and will give car so they can come live with me. I can't wait and am very excited to get to the other side so I can find out what the plan is that HEavenly Father has that this situation could bring about good. Develop patience for those that have to watch and endure and can't stop it?? Develop strength in the kids that they will never do these things?? MAke all of us more humble, understanding and helpful to others who go through this??? One day we will find out!!!

UPDATE> called CPS and told them the whole story. They said it was not abuse or neglect but FRAUD ! Said if I got hair sample proving drug use, even while pregnant (has 3 month old) woiuld not do anything. THey test at delivery and if clean that's that. Of course someone knows it's coming up and stays clean for a month so it wont show up. simple. CPS does not help kids. THey only come in when the damage in the life has been totally destroyed. Or the kid is dead.

yes and yes. If the 12 year old would only talk it would all be over! But she doesn't want to hurt her mom!!!