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  1. I’m a convert. My husband and I have been married over a year and are planning to get sealed once my year is up from my baptism. My question is mostly for the ladies! I have no one really I can ask. So I don’t plan to buy an actual wedding dress for the sealing and my civil wedding dress is not temple approved. Should I buy a nice white dress to wear to the sealing to take pictures in or is my white temple dress enough?
  2. I am a new member who is discussing marriage with my current boyfriend who is a member. He is civilly divorced with 1 child. He is still sealed to his ex wife. I have some questions and concerns about the fact that he can't unseal from his ex wife. Everything I read online is very conflicting. Some say he can unseal, some say no, some say he needs permission from his ex wife, some say one of them needed to either be abusive or commit adultery for an unsealing. I have also read that if he gets a 'clearance' and we are married in the temple, then I will only be married to him for a time and he will be with his ex wife for eternity. This is bothersome to hear, as I wish to be with him for eternity and for any children we have to be with him as well. I have also read that a lot of people don't understand the feelings of a 2nd wife being concerned about him being sealed to two women and for the 1st wife to keep the blessings when she broke the covenant of remaining married to her husband. It is not natural for any woman to feel comfortable with the thought of their husband being tied (married, sealed, connected) with two women for eternity. Forgive me, but isn't multiple marriages no longer practiced and accepted within the church? Also, if the ex wife wishes to be with him for eternity and they are still sealed, but he wants to be with me and not her, who does God say yes to? He can't say yes to both. Everyone says, God will not force you to be with someone but how does that work when she is asking God to be with him? If she asks to be rejoined to her ex husband, am I then cast aside? If the ex wife and my boyfriend never get back together, then they are breaking their covenant under God and therefore, how would she receive the highest blessings by remaining sealed to him? All of this is very confusing and disheartening. I am still learning and don't fully comprehend scripture on this matter. Any insight and clarification would be appreciated. Especially from any woman who deals with the hard place of 2nd wife. Thank you!
  3. I know we are supposed to be sealed and I believe it to be a true doctrine but I have never really understood why. Is there a principle of physics requiring a binding of spirits in order to accomplish eternal goals or is this just one of those things we don't/won't understand in this life? Insights anyone?
  4. I am a convert(meaning I joined the church later in my life instead of born into church) of 10 years. My family joined the church together. I love the gospel and the church. As a YSA (Young Single Adult), I hear a lot about importance of family and mother’s role in the family and having children. I fully understand why it’s important to have a family and have children. But it’s becoming clearer everyday that I don’t want to have kids. I wonder if I will ever be able to find someone to get married in the temple when I don’t want to have kids. I have dated someone seriously and this was one of the things we couldn’t agree on and we ended the relationship after dating for couple of years. Coming from a single-parent home, I am fully aware of the hard work that is required to be a good parent. As much as it’s taught in the church to have children when you are married, I sometimes feel that importance of being a good parent is not emphasized as much. Although I fully respect and love my mother for doing what she does to raise me and my siblings, I sometimes wonder how much happier she could have been if she didn’t have kids. She would have been able to leave her abusive husband much sooner. She would have been able to pursue her dreams and goals to be the person she wanted to be instead of being a stay at home mother like it is often asked of in woman. I thought that maybe I don’t want kids because of what happened between my parents and because I understand the struggle when the marriage falls apart. I’ve done therapy, prayed and fasted to know what it is I should do. I studied my patriarchal blessing and hated myself for being so different. But I just can’t seem to be the person woman are taught to be in the church. Should I give up hope to find someone to get married in the temple? I don’t know if I should date anyone or even put myself out there. Part of me feels it would be selfish of me to look for an eternal companion when I can’t be the ideal person they look for. I sometimes feel like a damaged good for not being able to want the life that every girl dream of. Is it wrong for me to want the eternal companionship without wanting to have kids? Some of you may say that it’s just a phase because I have been told that when I talked to people in church about this. But it’s not that I don’t love kids. I work with kids and I really think they are so precious and such a sacred blessing to have in this world. It makes the cruel world a little better place. But I really don’t want my kids to go through the pain of having a parent who didn’t want to have kids. Children deserve better and I can’t be what they need. I don’t want kids when I will love them and take care of them because that’s what I am obligated to do instead of doing it because I want to. I think about this everyday and I would appreciate your input.
  5. Anyone know the sealing guidelines for children born to unwed parents? I can't be the only person out there to have encountered this in my family history. Don't parents have to be sealed to each other before having children sealed to them? And, generally speaking, what was not bound on earth cannot be bound in heaven, right? So what happens if Tommy's parents never married on earth? I once presented this scenario to a temple matron, and got a "I hadn't thought of that" look/response, and someone else got a "God will sort it out somehow" answer from their bishop, so I'm not necessarily expecting an answer. But, yes, it's kept me up a night or two.
  6. My family (my parents, siblings, and I) were sealed in the temple when I was a teenager. Now 2 of my siblings have resigned from the Church. My parents are inactive but still members. What happens to our sealing?
  7. I'm a looking into the roles of attendees at temple sealings. Does anyone have some resources which can help me out? And by attendees I mean people besides the groom/bride/sealer. Thanks in advance.
  8. I recently had a daughter and ever since have been thinking about donating my eggs to help others conceive for many of my own reasons. I understand the churches stance on egg donation, but one thing I have not been able to find is information about sealing in this case. My husband, daughter, and I plan on being sealed soon, but what happens if the eggs I donate end up becoming full term pregnancies and end in a successful birth? Genetically these children would be related to me. So my question is, would these children end up also being sealed to me since they are technically mine? I plan on speaking with my bishop Sunday, but wanted thoughts first. I am for sure about donating, except for my question about being sealed.
  9. So I am currently re-married and was never sealed to my first husband. My current husband and I are ready to be sealed. I have 3 children from a previous marriage. Myself and my ex are in good standing with each other. I would like for my 3 children to be sealed to myself and their step dad. My ex will most likely give verbal or written permission if requested. I have been told by my bishop that their step dad will have to adopt them which would mean their real dad would have to sign over his rights. I don't see how that could be the Lord's will. Especially if our religion revolves so much around the family. Also an adoption would take a financial toll on us right now which I can't see that as being the Lord's will either. I could really use some detailed information here. If it is possible for us to be sealed together what steps do I need to take EXACTLY so that I can make this happen. Who do I talk to if not my bishop. Stake president? Temple president? What are the key words I need to use? I realize that what is most important is for the children to be sealed to their spouse when they are ready but in the mean time it has been my dream forever to find a worthy man who is willing to be sealed to us all and now I've got one <3 Please advise...
  10. I'm in despair and have sought out advice which led me to this message board. I am a non-active member of the church and haven't been active in over 20 years. I haven't been anti-church and often find myself standing up for the church in circles of friends. I went on a mission, was married a year after I came home and had 6 children over the following 12 years. My 1st wife left the church and ended our marriage. My family was split in half and I ended up raising my two youngest daughters on my own. My ex-wife wouldn't allow our two boys to move in with me but this past year they both asked to live with me and my new wife. To my main point, I was remarried 3 years ago to a woman with 2 children. I wasn't looking to get married but she kept after me and actually asked me to please marry her. I said no for several months and then realized I really did love her. I said yes and we had a civil marriage with just our parents and children at the ceremony. She is active and I am not. She wears her garments, is faithful to no end. I haven't worn garments in 12 years. Recently my sons have been asking about getting baptized and I had the missionaries give the discussions. I started going to church regularly and thought this is a nice change and a good direction. The stake president asked us to meet with him and during the conversation he asked if we are getting sealed. I was excited and said I would like it very much. My wife said no, she didn't want to because she was already sealed to her ex-husband and she had a testimony about it. It was like cold water slowly covering my body, I was shocked and saddened. The topic would come up, on her account, from time to time and she expressed to me that she wanted this very much. Some more info, her ex-husband left her while she was pregnant with their 2nd child. He had an affair and left his wife for another woman. Last year her ex-husband committed suicide leaving me as the only father figure for the two youngest children. She doesn't want to be sealed to me, rather, she wants to stay sealed to her ex-husband. How do I deal with her wanting her ex-husband that committed adultery during pregnancy and abandoning her over choosing me? I am stunned at this development because I am the antithesis of her ex-husband. Her ex-husband was also more inactive than I ever was. I'm crushed, absolutely devastated and am thinking I'd rather be single again and live in my solitude.
  11. I'm feeling mopey right now, and was wondering if anyone had any advise to snap out of it, or ... maybe just to vent. My sister is getting married in the temple this summer- I'm very excited for her. But I'm feeling very left out of everything- which I know is self-centered. I'm not endowed, so I can't go to the sealing- which I'm fine with and I understand. She doesn't want me to be a bridesmaid so that his younger siblings can be bridesmaids (he's one of 8)- which ok, I can understand. She doesn't want to go dress shopping with me- which I understand, we live ~6 hours drive away. She doesn't want me to help planning any of the pre-wedding festivities because her mother-in-law to be has that under control-- which I understand. She doesn't want me to plan the reception, because my mother is in charge of that and we'll just argue- which I totally understand. She doesn't want my help planning post-wedding stuff because her husband's in charge of that-- which I totally understand. She doesn't really have time to talk to me about wedding stuff because she's super busy with her life and obsessed with the finance-- which I totally understand. So despite a bunch of understanding... I'm feeling really left out of everything. And admittedly having a bit of a self-pity party and probably need to snap out of....
  12. I am wanting to know if I will ever be able to be sealed to my children. I am married and my husband is un active and not willing to become an active member. My children and I are active and they wish so badly to be sealed to my husband and I. Sadly I know being sealed to my husband is not an option but if I am an active member do I being a female have the option??
  13. I have a friend that is questioning the church. We are discussing families being sealed together. He doesn't believe it's necessary, that he will be with his family automatically. About 14 years ago, our ward did a fireside/presentation about that. They put all the childrens names in a hat, and then one by one drew them out, indicating which child was to be sealed to their parents. What they didn't tell the "audience" was that they left one childs name out, to show the loneliness of not being sealed, but even they didn't know which one it was. It was a random draw. It turned out to be the younges child that wasn't picked. It was very emotional and made a strong point. Another ward did the same program a few years later so that leads me to believe that HOPEFULLY it was something written in maybe a New Era or by BYU and not just something they thought up. I feel strongly that I need to show this to him. Any ideas would be great. Thank you. :)
  14. *First of all i don't know how to change the name of the thread, i realise it could have been worded better * I have wondered about this on someone elses behalf for a while. This is not my situation, but when i were asked i did not know how to answer it. She married a few years ago and her husband has three children. His ex wife is not an active part in the childrens life, other than rare visits in between months and contact via. email/skype/facebook. In effect of the mother of those three children not being there, she has become the motherly figure that takes care of them every day. It has been a struggle for her to adapt to this role of being in between, but as for taking care of the children and handling it, she has done a lot better than she gives herself credit. Anyhow, the question she asked me one day were about temple sealings. Their biological mother is not happy about the religion, and initially did not even want the children to attend church. They do attend every sunday now and has worked that out. Still she does not agree with the religion though and lives her life very differently, so it is doubtful that she would agree to anything with regards to sealings and such. Is it completely impossible for those three children, their father and their not biological mother to become sealed together? Also.. is it possible for two women in a situation like this to be sealed to children or would it have to just be one? Mind you not in a situation of polygamy, that is not something anyone here is interested in. If someone has thoughts on this they would be greatly appreciated.
  15. I am an adult adopted child that was sealed to my adoptive family. This is very troubling to me as i don't fit in to my adopted family, and feel like this sealing ordinance is an eternal sentence. Every time there are lessons on family history or temple work (which is almost every Sunday it seems) these feelings are brought back to the surface. Can an adopted child get the sealing to the adopted parents cancelled? I have asked my Bishop, but his answer was to have faith and it will all work out. Unfortunately this brings me no comfort.
  16. Hello, I am a new member to the Church, joined in Sept of last year when I married a mormon. I really love the my wife and the church but I am really lost we are about to expect our first child in July very happy time. Yet the other day I was informed by my bishop that because my wife was married in the temple before with her ex husband and they have not gotten a temple divorce yet that when my child is born he will not be able to be sealed to me because they are still sealed. Since finding out that information we have started the process but everyone keeps telling me that it wont happen before the baby comes so when we get sealed I will not be able to be sealed to my child. I am very unhappy with this. It is unacceptable to me regardless of how everyone says it will be worked out in heaven I am worried about here and now. This is a huge deal for me I honestly don't know what to do. Is there anyone I can talk to to speed this process up or anything at all. Because I am not even remotely ok with my son being sealed to her ex because of some stupid paperwork. Since this new has been brought to my attention I have lost sleep and my testimony has been really really strained. My wife does not understand because she grew up in the church and the child will still be sealed to her. So I do not know who else to turn too.
  17. My husband and I were in active in the church for many years prior to meeting on LDSPlanet. We still were after we moved in together and got engaged. We started to go back as we prepared to get married, but since we didn't know how long it would take us to truly be ready for a temple sealing we decided to get married civilly. My father passed away during the planning and then my husband began nursing school so we ended up just having our Bishop (and two missionaries as witnesses)meet us at a local park to marry us. Ever since we both have been sad that we never got the full experience with sharing the day with family and friends. Plus, i never got to wear the dress my father saw me in (in pics) while he was in the hospital with Leukemia. I still have it ,tags attached and all, 4 years later. Since getting married in '09, my hubby graduated school, we had our son (now 15 mos), and we have moved back to Utah to be near my family. We are now talking with Bishop about preparing for the temple. In planning for it... Would it be weird to treat it as our "true wedding"? Having a small reception and me wearing my wedding dress etc?? My dress would have to be altered since its strapless and it would only be for after the temple as it is ivory and champagne. I would have to get a "temple dress" unless I sell the other and Just get one that's all white and temple ready. Any advice or suggestions??? My mind is reeling lol Plus, we want to make sure our son is included in whatever we do... Not like we would need a ring bearer so what to do? :/
  18. I hope I'm posting this in the correct forum... I'm new here, this is my very first post. My husband and I have been married for 1 year, and are ready to be sealed in the temple! We live in Arizona, and our families live in Utah and California. We want to make a big deal about this (obviously its a big deal) and invite our families to join us in Hawaii. But I have never been there before and don't know where we should stay. Does anyone have any tips on where to stay and what to do??? Thanks in advance for any responses :)
  19. My parents were sealed and married for 40 years before my mother passed away. One of her most emphatic requests was that while she knew my dad would remarry, that he not be sealed to anyone else. My father remarried a year and a half after her death and just 6 months into that marriage, his wife received permission to cancel her sealing to her first husband and to be sealed to my dad. Have any prophets spoken to the feelings/circumstances of the deceased spouse in instances like this?
  20. So I have a question for whoever can answer it. I’ve talked to a lot of people who I feel can’t give me a good answer, and I really want someone to put my mind to ease with this because it really has me bothered. So here’s the situation, my brother and sister in law are getting sealed on Friday. My sister in law was previously sealed to someone for only 5 months before she met my brother. They got married and had a child, all while she was still technically sealed to this other man. Her sealing to the previous man is now canceled which is why she and my brother are getting sealed on Friday. However, my 2 year old nephew cannot join in the sealing ceremony because he was already born under the covenant. Can someone please explain this to me. Does this mean that my nephew is sealed to my sister in law’s ex husband, because he was born under the covenant of their sealing?? My heart breaks for my brother that he can’t have his child sealed to him on Friday. So if someone could explain to me why this is, or give me some reassurance that this doesn’t mean that my nephew is sealed to another man who isn’t his father, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time for reading this 
  21. Hi there, I'm new to this board and haven't been able to find an answer to this question by searching online. I guess I'm a little embarrassed to ask but some insight would be appreciated. Here's the story, I am a convert, I've been a member of the LDS church for 2 years this April. My husband whom i've been married to for just over 1 year grew up in the church and his family have always been members of the church. My family is not members and my husband is really my only link to the LDS church. My husbands parents JUST were sealed in the temple, they weren't previously sealed because my father-in-law was not willing to make the commitment of preparing himself for the temple. Now that my in-laws are sealed, they would like my husband to be sealed to them as their child. I should clarify that my husband and I have not yet been sealed in the temple. Honestly, as a new member, I just reached the time that I could apply for a recommend but I am just not ready yet. Now here's my big question, if my husband is only sealed to his parents... where does that leave me? I guess i'm just a little perplexed to the whole, my adult- married husband being sealed to his parents, it honestly is really weird to me. Any responses are welcome, I'm just trying to understand this whole thing as someone who is new to the church.
  22. This isn't a question about who should be sealed to a baby that passed away. But more of a moral obligation question. My dad and my mom divorced around 25 years ago. They had several children, but one baby (middle child) died at only 4 months old. After their divorce, they both remarried but only recently were sealed to their spouses. My parents had a very hard divorce and can barely stand to be near each other... they don't talk even at family events. They are not only still anger with one another, I think they are a bit bitter. My sibling are now deciding who to be sealed to. I just heard that my oldest brother is going to be sealed to my dad next week along with my brother that passed away as a baby. My older brother hasn't had the courage to tell my mom but that is for him to decide. But my mom also doesn't know about my other brother that died being sealed to my dad. In the past, my mom has said to me in private that she doesn't care who he is sealed to as long as he is sealed to one of them. The problem is... my dad hasn't told my mom that he is going to have my brother that died sealed to him. I don't want to tell my mom because it will crush her and she will be angry. Do I call my dad and ask him to tell her or do I stay out of it? I don't want to get in the middle but I don't want my mom to get hurt yet again.
  23. I've been wondering for awhile now about my situation and my parents with regard to a temple sealing. So my parents are divorced and my mom, myself and a few other family members joined the church afterward. My question is whether I can be sealed to my mother and my father individually, without having them sealed to each other. Any thoughts?
  24. Hello LDS Forum, This is my first time posting on this site; so hopefully you can give me some advice on the Sealing Cancellation topic. I was previously married to my Ex-Wife for five years and have been divorced from her mutually since June 08'. She recently called me this weekend to give me a head's up that my Bishop would be contacting me with her wishes to get our Sealing Cancelled. Now, I don't have one issue with this; as I am not in love with her, and have found a new sweetie that we have been dating for a year. The problem I have is that at the end of our marriage she was talking to another man online that she knew growing up for her hometown. She would lock herself in our bedroom and talk to this person on the phone for hours, and would send emails everyday "as friends". Well, let's just say that three weeks before we were officially divorced she already had her wedding dress picked out to marry the man she was talking to on the phone. Then, was married to him immediately after our divorce in her Bishop's office. I found out later she was talking to him for months after I tried to go to counseling with her, but we just couldn't make it work. My question is how do I write a response letter to the First Presidency when I receive hers that would depict her lack of taking our temple vows seriously and having an emotional affair with a man clear across the country while still being married. I plan on marrying my sweetie in a few years, and want to not be sealed to that wretched woman. Should I bring all this up in the letter, and make the point to say I want it cancelled just as much!? What will her letter say? I hope all this makes sense, but I don't want to come across as bitter/that I still love her. Since I do NOT! :)