seeking_peace

Hey Slabbing. It’s good to hear from you. I’m sorry that your divorce was ugly and extended. I think that your feelings right now are normal. Even though you’ve only been divorced for a couple of weeks, you’ve been alone for much longer and I understand your longing to be in a relationship again. Any positive attention right now will feel good and be welcome. It’s great to laugh, and flirt, and tease, and feel attractive and desirable. That’s exactly what you need right now, but don’t rush into anything too quickly. You need time to completely heal before you become part of a couple again. Right after my divorce, a friend shared with me what his therapist told him: You are recovering from an emotional injury. Imagine an athlete with a major injury. He wouldn’t jump right back into the game full capacity. He would give the injury time to heal, and then ease himself back into the game. He would go through physical therapy, he would take small steps, and he would practice and stretch the injured muscle. You have to practice and stretch your injured heart. Take small steps. Ease back in to the game. Don’t rush back in full force. Talking to your new lady friend is just what you need. She’s your physical therapy. But be careful that you are not jumping “fully in” too quickly. With all due respect to Jayanna and Jennarator (who may be exceptions), in my observations most couples that rush into a marriage on the heels of a divorce don’t last.

It sounds like you had a near miss situation. I'm happy you're alive too!

I remember it being really hard to keep the LoC when I was engaged (many, many years ago). For years, you keep yourself pure and save yourself for “The One” and suddenly, you are with The One, but it’s still a no no. It was explained to me that it’s like driving, you can’t legally do it without the drivers’ license. As for how to keep pure, you’ve already been given some good advice. In addition to what’s been suggested, we kept a picture of the temple on the wall to remind us of our goal and I even put a count down on it “Only 15 more days!...” Mostly, it was a matter of will and remembering that we wanted to be married in the temple and didn’t want to jeopardize that. I have a friend that decided she and her fiancé should discontinue all activities that stirred up those feelings---even kissing. They gave each other brotherly hugs and on the cheek kisses. I thought that was a little extreme, but it is what worked for them. As for the other issue of “test driving:” I understand the concern. A good sex life is an important part of marriage, but it is just a part. It’s also something that can be improved by discussion and practice. The truth is, that if you are both virgins, the first time may not be all that spectacular (especially for her). Nor the second, or the third… It would be a shame to throw away a wonderful relationship because you think that you are not sexually compatible if, after experimentation and communication, you can develop that into an awesome compatibility.

There is something that I've used to keep the kid's mind off of the fact that they are singing the same song over and over and over again. It's a version of the Hotter/colder game. I have one child step outside the room and have another child hide something (I use a post-it note with a musical note drawn on it). We let the child come back in and the kids sing until the child finds it. They sing softly if it is far away and loundly if it is close.

laundry soap tuna mustard sauerkraut salt (instead of sugar, I know that cookies need a little salt) Lots of things would be gross in cookies. Are you looking for ingredients that look similar to the good stuff, or just something gross?

I guess you have to do what you have to do, but be honest and say that you are choosing your own wants and needs over those of your respective spouses and children. My ex-husband liked to say things like "Honestly, my wife deserves an honest man who is more like her" too. He's tried to tell me that the reason he left is because I will be happier with someone else, but the truth is that he didn't leave me with someone els, he left me alone with a child. He's the one with someone else (BTW, they've been living together for almost two years and they seem happy) Oh, and PS: I was a good wife. I cooked for him, and cleaned his house, and worked full time, and did his laundry, mowed the lawn, and had sex with him on a regular basis.

Here is a link to photos from that night. CTRLDS.org :: Southern Lights - Cultural Event - April 30, 2011

All I can say is, "That was beautifu!" Thanks for sharing.

My ex-husband used to be employed by the church and he used to complain about the the same kind of office politics that you would see in any business. We had many discussions about the differences between the evangelical (Gospel) side of the church and the Corporation of the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the business side). The spiritual/ evangelical side is the side that is run by revelation and inspiration. The Corporation of the President is run by men making business decisions. Sadly, in many ways it is very much like other businesses. Anyone that works for the church needs to have a clear delineation in their minds and see them as two separate entities. A very strong testimony of the Gospel is needed in anyone who works for the church. Otherwise they focus on the mistakes and personalities of men and attribute them to “the church.”

I just remodeled my kitchen and have surfaces that I didn’t have before. Does anyone know the best way to keep granite countertops, travertine tile, and stainless steel appliances looking new and awesome? I think the days of Windexing everything are over.

Then you are in my stake.

It was beautiful.

I grew up calling it pop, but I call it soda now. Even though I live in the land of Coca-cola and everything is Coke. "What flavors of coke do you have?" drives me crazy. Coke is the flavor!

Two confessions: I sing in the stairwell of my office building (it has great acoustics!). I rarely make my bed.

Since being short is an adjective and not a judgment, she should just acknowledge it--as if someone said, "water is wet." My suggestion is, "You have an amazing ability to recognize the obvious." I would be more concerned about the physical things, like people picking her up. It might not be a bad idea to get her teachers or the school administration involved by asking them to remind students to respect others' personal space. I'm sure it is against school behavioral policy.

There was something in there about vocational training. Career announcements are valid, too.

She made two statements in the same comment that may be considered announcements.

I'll be in the audience. My son is performing.

There are two sessions. I think that the first one is at 9, and the second one is at noon. It's being broadcast to all the Stake Centers. It takes me almost as long to get to my Stake Center as it does to get to the Temple, and traffic and parking will be a mess at the SC, too. I'm really not that high on the food chain, either. I'd heard that each ward was given just 6 tickets to distribute at the bishop's discretion--and our bishop didn't choose me. I just happen to have a Home Teacher that is high on the food chain and he is in a position that he had extra tickets. He offered them to me during our visit yesterday. I wasn't going to say "no" to the opportunuity offered to my son--just because I'd have to deal with traffic. :) I don't think that may youth get to experience a dedication from inside the temple.

I'm still hearing that it will be President Monson. And...I just got tickets to attend the dedication at the temple! I was anticipating watching it on closed circuit at the stake center, and I was looking forward to that. I'm especially excited to take my son with me. It's an opportunity that very few youth will have. I'm feeling so blessed!

When you grow up in the Church, or have been a member for a long time, gospel truths sometimes become ordinary. A concept becomes so ingrained in you that it becomes like breathing. You know it, but you forget that it is truly amazing. I took a friend to the Atlanta Temple open house last night. She was very appreciative of the beauty of the building and the grounds. She commented on the woodwork, the chandeliers, the carpeting, the paintings, and the gardens. She said that she understood why we call it sacred ground because there was a peace there. But the thing that she was most impressed by, the room that she hung back in and felt the spirit of, was not the most stunning or the most opulent. The place that touched her the most was the baptistery. She was amazed that we have in place the means to do ordinances for the deceased. I think that she was struck more by baptism for the dead than sealing or endowment, because that was an ordinance that she understands. But she did comment on the concept of sealing as well. This morning, she remarked that she loves the concept of people being tied in both this life and the next. She wondered why other religions don’t offer a proxy option and said that the next time she sees her priest, she is going to ask him why Catholics don’t practice baptisms for the dead (should be an interesting conversation). Do you ever take our beliefs for granted?

Some of them are paid protesters. They don't really care.

It is Atlanta

Our reservation is for the 7:40 tour... I'm sorry your wife didn't get to finish the tour. It was really the only time we could schedule it since my son has practice until 6:00. I may take the back roads and avoid 285 all together. I was under the impression that Pres. Monson was doing the dedication. They mentioned it several times in our Stake Conference on Saturday and Sunday.

Good for you for sticking it out and providing service....I'm going to be there for the open house tonight. I'm bringing a co-worker and she has already asked some really good questions. She thinks the whole idea of proxy work is great and she told me that I can get baptized for her after she dies. I'm going to try to convince her that she can do it for herself before then....