seeking_peace

I had to look just so that I knew what BJJ stood for.

I agree with Skippy. Go twice.

I thought that my boss was the only one that says that. I menatlly laugh every time he uses it!

The problem with thinking a swear word, is that it will eventually slip out. Like when you are in the car, and someone cuts you off, and the word just slips out because you've thought it already, and your 13 year old son says, "So, Mom. You just decided to swear?!?" That was the one and only time my son has heard me swear, but (sadly) not the one and only time that I've thought someone in another car was being a donkey.... And, admit it, you all substituted the other word for donkey.... I'm feeding your weakness.

Advice from my brother to his son: Before you hit "send," ask yourself, "would I be comfortable reading this in court?" That's his advice for sending anything electronic: email, text, twitter, facebook.......

You’ve mentioned this before, and it completely baffles me. Why would a woman want you to leave your kids? How could she respect a man that doesn’t fulfill his obligations? You don’t have them full time, so it’s not a matter of her not wanting to raise them. That’s just crazy. When my husband left, the thing that upset me the most was his lack of communication and involvement with our son. I think that walking away from a child is a real character flaw in a man. I’ve stated several times that I could never be involved with a man that isn’t a part of his children’s lives (at least voluntarily. I understand that some ex’s make involvement difficult). The Christmas after our separation, I took my son to Utah to visit my parents. My ex lives there now, so I emailed him and gave him the dates that we would be in town and asked if he wanted to spend time with his child. We were there for 9 days and he spent 8 hours with him. If I had been away from my child for 5 months, I would want to see him for more than 8 hours! When his new wife received a substantial settlement from her ex-husband, I was shocked that they wouldn’t use that money to catch up on his child support (because it was her money and not his). She’s a mother herself. How could she not want her husband to support his child? I suppose that since she didn’t really know my kid (she had only spent 8 hours with him), it was easier to ignore him…but it’s still incomprehensible to me that she doesn’t insist that he support his child—and I mean emotionally as well as financially. The emotional abandonment is more of an issue to me.

I found LDS.net when I googled “LDs infidelity support group.” At the time I was in turmoil and all I wanted was to find peace (the stormy South Carolina shore avatar is also a reflection of how I felt when I joined). I’ve been a member of this site for about 2 ½ years, but for the majority of that time I was exclusively in the groups area. Now that I’ve found the peace that I formerly sought, I’ve come out to play with the rest of you! BTW, There are a LOT of sad sounding usernames in the support groups.

Boot camp? It was Girls' Camp. Girls' Camp is al about fun and fellowship.

A five year old child admited to drowning a toddler in the bathtub to stop him from crying. There is now a debate as to whether the child should be charged with murder. Here is the article: Police: Girl, 5, said she drowned boy over crying *| ajc.com What kind of punishment to you think should be administered to a 5 year old?

How do we continue to elect people that are too stupid to think that they will be caught?

Before I was married, I used to sleep in a long t-shirt. Before my wedding, I bought a really pretty satin night gown to sleep in (over my garments). The first night, I was so uncomfortable! Not only was I sleeping in an extra layer of clothes, but I also had an extra person in my bed creating additional heat. I took off the nightgown and slept in just my garments because I was way too warm for that. I did go through a stage of sleeping in pajamas over my garments when my son was young and tended to climb in bed with me. But he's outgrown that, and since I'm a warm sleeper, I prefer just my garments. It's totally a comfort thing for me.

Great idea CTR. That original group was my lifeline for several months. You might want to extend invitations to those who still post there.

My concern is that you are setting your ex up to say, "Your mom doesn't want us to go to the Grand Canyon, so don't tell her that we did." Obviously, I don't know the man, but from what you've posted it seems to me that he just might do that. Then your kids are in the uncomfortable position of either defying their father, or lying to their mother. I'm of the minority opinion that you should let them go. Unfortunately, part of the nature of divorce is that you can no longer have as much control as you once did. (and just for the record before anyone jumps on me, I'm not saying that in a judgmental, "that's what you get for being divorced' manner. I'm divorced too)

The only "lingerie" that I wear over my garments is a bra. For sleeping, I usually just wear my garments. For lounging (watching TV or reading in the evenings), I wear pajamas that cover my garments. Recreational Lingerie was worn all by its self (when I was married and recreating). If the purpose is to entice, the garment isn't conducive to that.

I certainly can’t speak for all divorces, but I know what ended my 22 year marriage. The final cause of our divorce was that my husband left me to marry someone else. The things leading up to that point were many (although some of the issues were discovered in hindsight): Depression Pornography addiction Resentment Underemployment Detachment Jealousy Inequality Envy Sexual dysfunction Isolation Miscommunication Infidelity Selfishness Do I think that LDS members are not taking sealings seriously? Not at all. I took my covenants very seriously. Choosing to allow my marriage to end was the most difficult choice I’ve ever made. I stuck through a lot of heartache because I had made vows and because I believed---still believe—in marriage and families. But when my husband left, it was like being released from a darkness…a darkness that I clung to for a long, long time. I think that a lot of times we, as LDS members, hold on to marriages long after they’ve really ended because we take the sealing seriously. Looking at my list, I realize that other than depression, underemployment, and sexual dysfunction, everything on my list is a result of selfishness. And even though they were not caused by selfishness, they fed into the inability to be empathetic. So, I agree with the consensus: selfishness is the main cause of divorce.

Thanks for the responses. My reaction was more one of, “Why is where a bunch of 8th graders from Pennsylvania ate lunch in my Atlanta newspaper?” than one of being upset by it. I do think that it is odd since no parent complained that a reporter even knew to report it. I, personally, don’t eat at Hooters. Even if I were young and shapely, I would never work at Hooters. But I can understand the dilemma of the chaperons trying to find a restaurant close to the aquarium and the eating establishments where the other kids were eating. As a parent, I probably would’ve had the attitude, “I wish they had chosen somewhere else.” But I don’t think that I would have complained. I suspect that many of those children were probably patrons of Hooters and helped choose the place.

A group of 8th graders had lunch at Hooters during a field trip. 1) Is this worthy of National news? 2) Would you be upset if it were your child? Pa. 8th graders' field trip includes Hooters lunch | accessAtlanta

I didn't completely love the book, but this statement really hit me: "When we withhold forgiveness from others, we are in effect saying that the atonement alone was insufficient to pay for this sin. We are holding out for more. We are finding fault with the Lord's offering." I was dealing with the aftermath of my husband's affair at the time and it really put things in perspective for me. It helped me see him as a child of God worthy of forgiveness. Several months later, the bishop asked my husband to read the book. His take on it was that I was not doing enough.... I guess the way you interpret a book is highly colored by your own state of mind.

I hope that you are saying that my roommate was foolish--not my advice. Although I just realized how long ago this thread was started, and I guess that makes my advice foolihness--or at the very least, unnecessary.

I went to USU and loved living in Logan. I walked all the tima at all hours and always felt safe. It gets horribly cold in the winter though. I started winter semester and I was there for 2 weeks before the tempurature got up to zero!

I had a college roommate that was waiting for a missionary. And that's all she did. Waited. She went to her classes and did her homework---and nothing else. She sat in her room and waited. The rest of the girls in my apartment became great friends and did things together. She waited. I rarely even saw her. It was sad. Be sure to get out and do things and enjoy being young. That doesn't have to mean "date around." But enjoy your life!

It took a lot of courage for him to come to you, knowing that it would be a shock and understanding that he is “going against” what he has been taught his whole life. Recognize that. Thank him for trusting you. Love him. Accept him. Love him. Support him. Love him (have I said, “love him”?). Pray for guidance. Do what you can to strengthen your testimony and your relationship with the Lord. I have gay siblings, and about the time that they “came out” (in rather rapid succession), my mother stopped going to church. She felt like she couldn’t accept a church that didn’t accept her children. My father continued going to church for a time, but his activity became a strain on their marriage and he eventually became inactive, as well. I love all of my siblings and (although one shouldn’t have favorites) my gay brothers are my favorites. They are wonderful, funny, responsible, caring, loving individuals. Being with them makes me happy. One has a partner that I adore and I think that he is the best thing that has happened to my brother. Your son is the same person that he was before he “came out.” Remember to look at him and see the wonderful son that he is. You are shocked and disappointed—how can you not be? This is not the life that you imagined for him. It’s not an easy life. He will have challenges that we will never understand. You are unhappy that he has turned away from the church. You are sad that he will not bring your grandchildren to Thanksgiving dinner…But he is still your son, and you still love him. If he had come to you and told you that he no longer believes the church is true—without the complication of being gay, how would you react? If he had come to you, and told you that he has been sexually active, would you love him less? If he were to come to you at some later time with a fiancé that you really didn’t like, would you still want him to be happy? What if he were to tell you that he was an alcoholic? There are so many things that pull someone from the church. There are things that our loved ones will do, that we don’t agree with. There are choices that they make that we know will be burdens. But we can’t pray away their agency. We can only continue to love them.

A full-time seminary teacher is a seminary teacher by profession. That is his job.--he is a church employee--not his calling. The High Schools in Utah (and some other Western States) give the students “released time” to attend seminary. Those teachers teach one seminary class after another throughout the school day—just as a history teacher or math teacher would.

I know that the OP’s question was specific to divorce, but it made me wonder about other qualifications for a bishop. In our ward, it seems as though bishopric members are commonly taken out of callings in the YM organization. Since our YM activities are so closely tied to the Boy Scouts, it occurred to me that those brethren have had background checks through the BSA. This got me wondering: Does the church run background checks on men that they consider calling as bishops?

Wow, that’s a little harsh. I’ve re-read Slabbing’s post, and I don’t see where he compared his new girlfriend to his ex-wife. Nor did he reference wanting to have sex right away, or divorcing his beliefs.