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Posts posted by Jamie123
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On 4/24/2024 at 8:13 AM, askandanswer said:
Count your many blessings, name them one, by one...........
"Name them two by two, and it will surprise you what the Lord can do"
(Not as amusing as "While shepherds wash their socks" or "Jingle bells, Batman smells")
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4 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:
If you're gonna use anything from that film as an example, you must use this scene where Gandalf scares Sam just because he can:
If the entire movie had been up to the standard of that scene it would have been awesome indeed!
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On 4/19/2024 at 5:41 PM, Ironhold said:
This is the most famous example, but it was first invented by Max Fleischer of Fleischer Studios back in the late 1930s / early 1940s. It's why so many of his action cartoons, like Superman, seem so lifelike given the technical limitations of the day.
Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings was another example.
Although Bakshi's movie is a mess, I think this scene was way better than Peter Jackson's. It is much closer to the book, and Annette Crosby has the perfect voice for Galadriel.
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She-Ra was always criticized for giving unrealistic bodily expectations to young girls. (You don't get big breasts AND a tiny waist - its one or the other or neither.) No one ever mentioned that no one looks like He-Man either!
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38 minutes ago, LDSGator said:
GI Joe was my thing and I still collect the comics. I don’t like the “Now I know” socially responsible stuff either. I found it silly, even as a kid.
I remember the He-Man/She-Rah cartoons where at the end of each episode the moral lesson would be pointed out. It was usually something like "Don't kick the bad guy when he's down, even if he is a jerk" or "you won't have your grandparents forever ever, so appreciate them while you can". Not bad really, for a franchise that was mostly about selling plastic junk.
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It occurred to me this evening for the first time - ever - that if Mother and Father Bear swapped clothes, Mother would look exactly like Father and Father and Father would look exactly like Mother.
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How do you fit four elephants in a Mini?
Two in the front, two in the back.
How do you know if an elephant's been in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.
How do you know if two elephants have been in your fridge?
Two sets of footprints in the butter.
How do you know if three elephants have been in your fridge?
Three sets of footprints in the butter.
How do you know if four elephants have been in your fridge?
There's a Mini parked outside.
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On 4/5/2024 at 8:19 PM, Jamie123 said:
What do you call a man with a jack on his head...oh drat!
In the same noble tradition:
Why didn't worms go into the ark in pears...I mean apples? Oh drat!
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This one always cracks me up...
What do you call a boy with a paper bag over his head?
Russell.
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Why can you never find any aspirins in the jungle?
Because parrots eat 'em all.
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- NeuroTypical and Vort
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This system will allow you to classify each specimen into its correct genus and species.
1. If it looks like Paul McCartney then it's Paul McCartney.
2. If it has small round tinted glasses and you can imagine it standing next to a Japanese woman with long dark hair, and it looks like John Lennon then it's John Lennon.
3. If its playing the drums then the chances are it's Ringo.
4. If it doesn't fit any of the above categories then you can safely label it George Harrison.
Another minute wasted with Jamie123! 😝
- NeuroTypical, mordorbund, Vort and 1 other
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What did one earwig say to the other earwig when they both fell of the wall for the tenth time that day?
Earwig go again!
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On 4/5/2024 at 7:22 PM, NeuroTypical said:
What do you call a lady with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen.
What do you call a woman who throws all her bills onto the fire?
Bernadette
- SilentOne, Vort and NeuroTypical
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What do you call a man with a jack on his head...oh drat!
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May autocorrect always choose hilarious replacement words when you are trying to type a serious massage.
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21 hours ago, Backroads said:
So what happens when the stay-at-home girlfriend...gets dumped?
She could always twitch her nose...
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May you hear an intermittent buzzing noise in your bedroom just when you want to go to bed, with no sign of an actual fly no matter how many hours' sleep you lose searching for it.
May said fly descend upon your face the moment you give up and put the light out.
May the Yorkie bar you bought for your mid-morning treat inexplicably taste of mint. (Not that there's anything wrong with mint chocolate, but when you buy a Yorkie bar you expect a Yorkie bar and not an After Eight.)
May your next door neighbour start tinkering with his car on Saturday Morning, just as you sit down to watch Little House on the Prairie.
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2 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:
Dang - are you sure you aren't me? I had a startlingly similar experience when I was 6, and then again when I was 7, and then throughout the rest of elementary and middle school. My elementary school was in the '70's, middle/high school in the '80's. And you had this experience in the UK? I grew up in Salt Lake City. Well, we're all born stupid. I guess there are recurring themes as kids form social circles and look for things to include and things to exclude.
From what I can tell about today's kids, it's now trendy and cool to be part of the alphabet, and feel guilty about being white. The bad kids are transphobes and fascists and haters.
As the late great Neil Peart once said...
QuotePlus ca change
Plus c'est la meme chose -
2 hours ago, mikbone said:
Drove me crazy to see girls in Jr. High and High School putting all those beads in their hair.
You have dated yourself sir.
Yup... I never much liked the beads. In fact hair styles like that have always bugged the heck out of me. What do these women do when they wash their hair? Undo every last pleat and remove every last bead, and then put them all back again? By the time you're done with all that palaver it'll be time to wash your hair again! Still...women will be women.
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15 minutes ago, mikbone said:
You forgot Tommy Boy!
Never saw that movie. I just looked it up: It looks like Bo Derek was nominated for the Golden Raspberry "Worst Supporting Actress"
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As a kid, I was subjected to homophobic abuse. And I'm not even gay! In fact I am SO not-gay, I think many of those who homophobe-abused me were gay by comparison. In fact I suspect some were actually real-gay with an "I'll homo-abuse the allegedly gay kid to get the attention off myself" type of agenda.
But that's speculation.
The point is, I know that homophobic abuse is an actual thing, coz I've been on the receiving end. And though I agree there is much nonsense talked about "hate speech", homophobia (along with transphobia) is a real thing.
But it's so easy to think after the event what you should have said. I was never able to think on my feet. So I'm going to indulge in a little wish-fulfilment fantasy...
There was one kid - somewhat older than me - whom I'm going to call him "CT". He once gave me a grilling about what I'd do if I were propositioned by a half-naked Bo Derek, beckoning me to bed. When I didn't immediately respond in words to the effect that I'd "do" her, he told me I was not normal, while his bully-partner (a smirking sycophant whom I'll call "CV") snickered snottily away to himself in the background.
CT: So? What would you do? There's Bo Derek calling out for you, wanting you!"
Me: Well... (Not sure how to respond. Even then I had a superstitious view of sex [barring masturbation], even though I was not very outwardly religious.)
CT: Come on! It's Bo Derek? You do know who Bob Derek is, don't you?"
Me: She was in 10. And Tarzan the Ape M..."
CT: So...? What would you do?
Me: OK, well tell me first what you'd do?
CT: Oh well...haha...what wouldn't I do? Haha...mmmemmmmemmmm... (performs bodily contortions intended to convey sexual arousal, but actually more suggestive of diarrhea)
This is where fantasy takes over...
Me: So you'd have had "carnal knowledge" of her?
CT: Mmmm...you could put it that way....(continued vocalizations and bodily contortions). But you'd just run away, wouldn't you? Like a scared little rabbit, that's you! You'd...
Me: Has it never occurred to you that Bo Derek is married?
CT: (Momentarily taken aback) What...?
Me: Yes. To John Derek. That's how she got the name 'Derek', you know. Or did you think that's the name she was born with?
CT: I don't believe this! If you think...you're actually saying that...?
Me: That I think the sanctity of marriage is important? You bet I am! Or are you the sort of slimy little toad who goes around sleeping with other men's wives?
CT: What...? (looking over to CV for support, but getting none.)
Me: Because if you are, then I hope that when you get married, some other little slime ball comes and has his way with your wife! And I hope she enjoys him ten times better than you!
CT: But...
Me: And I hope he tells everyone about it, and everyone has a good laugh at Mr. Cuckoo-Cuckold! *does cuckoo impressions*
It's good to dream...
- NeuroTypical and Vort
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No idea if you sing this hymn, but...
I vow to thee, my country
All earthly things above
Entire and whole and perfect
The service of my loveThe love that asks no questions
The love that stands the test
That lays upon the altar
The dearest and the bestThe love that never falters
The love that pays the price
The love that makes undaunted
The final sacrificeAnd there's another country
I've heard of long ago
Most dear to them that love her
Most great to them that knowWe may not count her armies
We may not see her King
Her fortress is a faithful heart
Her pride is sufferingAnd soul by soul and silently
Her shining bounds increase
And her ways are ways of gentleness
And all her paths are peace(Sung to the tune of Jupiter from Holst's The Planets)
Nicholson Gets Nicked
in General Discussion
Posted · Edited by Jamie123
Nicky nicky Jack Nicholson gets well and truly "nicked"*, and all the bullying bluster in the world won't save him this time!
Tom Cruise was "meh". Demi Moore was OK. But Jack Nicholson was totally the star of this movie!
* British slang "to be nicked" is to be arrested. Also to "nick" something means to steal it.