carlimac

Due to a job change we moved to a new area about a year ago.From medium density church membership to very low. Despite that, we have a good sized ward with about 50 youth. I was immediately called into the YW presidency. This is a calling I've never had. I was initially excited. But over the last year I've found myself just dragging and my enthusiasm for anything youth or church related fizzling out. I'm a good 10 to 20 years older than most of the other leaders and I hate to say it but I just can't relate to the way things are run now. My husband was called into the bishopric. He is hanging in there but I can see his enthusiasm slipping, too. There is so much pressure to have the girls doing everything themselves- leading activities and events. It's exhausting to shadow lead. Some kids are cut out for it. Some aren't. And when you're in charge of the ones that aren't cut out for it there ends up being a lot of guilt when we can't get our girls to do things the way they are prescribed in the handbooks. And our ward is so spread out the even class presidency meetings are next to impossible to schedule without draining families' good will.They either have to stay an extra hour after church or take time to go home and then drive their daughter a long distance to meet somewhere else. We have a very persnickety and micro managing stake president. I haven't had any bad experiences myself with him but most of the other leaders have and there is an under current of gossip and bad feelings about him mixed with fear that he will not take kindly to something we're doing. And we're all a little jumpy since he's in our ward. So basically I'm feeling that all the activites that our church does is distracting us and wearing us out so that we have nothing left for true worship and living the gospel day to day. I have a seriously hard time even getting out of bed on Sunday mornings. I feel no joy at church any more. Throw early morning seminary into the mix and parents of teenagers who aren't old enough to drive ( it's 16 yrs and 9 months in our state) and all the kids are just exhausted. My daughter hates seminary but goes out of peer pressure. She says the lessons are so boring and she feels no love from the teacher. It has been such a struggle this year (9th grade) to find any kind of balance between school ( public school here is very demanding), church and after school sports and family time. School starts at 7:15 so seminary has to start at 5:45. It really doesn't seem worth it. My kids that went to released time seminary had a great experience with professionally trained and paid teachers. They loved it! Out here it's just a grinding exercise in endurance for everyone. Is this really the way the Lord wants us to live? Running faster than we have strength? Getting so caught up in rules and programs and expectations to fulfill that we can't concentrate on just living a good life? I admit to having more anxiety than lots of people, but I'm starting to see other leaders burning out, too. So how do I handle these negative feelings? Is my outlook justified or should I force a smile through it all? I feel so bogged down!! And guilty about my feelings and the half baked job I'm doing but just ready to walk away from the church or at least a loooong vacation from it. My son did recently left and he seems so much happier than he's been for a long time. Help!!

Here's another outrageous reaction. Is THIS legal? http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/11/10/boss-tells-pro-trump-employees-to-resign.html

https://www.change.org/p/electoral-college-electors-electoral-college-make-hillary-clinton-president-on-december-19?recruiter=74045837&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=autopublish&utm_term=mob-xs-share_petition-reason_msg Is this even legal?

Windseeker. I have a friend who said almost the exact same thing. I guess she believes Trump will really follow through on all the threats he made. I don't. At all!

And by the way, I saw a funny tweet last night." At least we avoided the killer blow that would have been Marco Rubio's October Surprise: The late-paid water bill from 1994."

I'm interested in Anatess's view on this whole bruhaha. And any others who have been staunch Trump supporters inspite of, well...trump himself. Can even they look past this? I haven't been around for several months so I don't know if JAG or someone else has won her or any others over to the third party side yet or not. This isn't meant to taunt her. I'm really curious to know how Trump supporters who also are faithful and religious feel about the race now. I've always thought Anatess had good solid arguments for all things moral. What now?

The officiator was one of those. I think there were other emotions and thought processes going on between the parents and child that made it feel odd.

I attended a wedding recently and it was kind of disappointing. It was a wedding of two good kids. One of them had had some struggles in earlier years and had been ex-communicated, but recently re-baptized. The other was a returned missionary who had no record of church discipline. Since the re-baptism had been recent, the wedding wasn't in the temple. But the couple has every intention to be sealed when it's been a year. These are two really good active LDS kids who are now living the gospel and have full family support on both sides. Reason to rejoice in this union!! But the wedding itself was so lackluster and quick. Rushed! And there was such a feeling of tension. I'm not sure why other than one of the kids is the child of a member of the stake leadership. He was performing the marriage and was reading it out of a big black binder. So I assume there is a script for LDS non-temple weddings. I also have to assume there was a degree of embarrassment that his child had to be married outside of the temple. The whole thing, including the bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girl and ringbearer walking in, took about 6 1/2 minutes. If someone arrived 7 min late they missed the whole thing. He said he had the liberty to say a few words before the actual marriage but chose to say something that took about 30 seconds. Maybe 45. He's usually an eloquent and inspirational speaker. I just thought there should have been more praise for the couple making good choices, encouragement to start a family that will be exemplary, keeping love and romance alive, all that sappy stuff that you even hear in temple weddings, but also non-LDS weddings. This wedding was as stiff as cardboard. I felt so bad. The bride was gorgeous, the groom handsome, the yard decorated beautifully and all of us delighted to be there. But the spirit of love and celebration was not there. So I wonder a few things. 1) Do we as Mormons just not know how to do secular weddings? 2) Are we still mourning over this person's past sins even though they were washed away with re-baptism? Can't we be happy for the progress made in the right direction? Or do we still have to act as if the wedding was really a time for sadness because they weren't being sealed...yet? 3) Is this perhaps intentional on the part of church authority to keep it quick and lacking in celebration in order to discourage others from doing it that way? Are we being kept from an infusion of the spirit to keep them and everyone on the edge of their seat waiting for the "real thing" in the temple in a year? I've been to other weddings outside the temple that were not performed by an LDS bishop. One was an LDS girl and non-LDS boy. And the wedding was pure joy and love and celebration as well as being one of the most spiritual weddings I've ever attended. But this one was blah.

Is there any official directive on this? A lady in my ward brought this up today.She said it was because our right hand is our covenant hand. I learned to take the sacrament with my right hand as a child, but I've taught Primary for many years and have never seen this in a lesson on the sacrament.

This brings up some major confusions then. My uncle removed his name from the records of the church. I doubt he ever received more than the Aaronic Priesthood, if that. I don't know. It's also my understanding that those who remove their names from the records would need to have first presidency approval to have their temple work done after their death. So I was going to look into doing whatever needed to be done so that we could have his work done. I looked him up on Family Search. Apparently some person, unrelated to our family already had his work done. Oops. I'm glad that all these human mistakes will be sorted out in the heavens. At least I hope they will be.

I'm OK with it as long as they don't shed in the next life. And their bad breath is extinguished!

I wonder why this is. it shouldn't be this way. We should be more confident with the Lord on our side.

Thank you. He actually has applied for two teaching jobs at a local university. ( adjunct prof.) But hasn't heard anything from them. He's a great teacher! He's also read a dozen books with the theme of "What Am I Good At?" or "What do I want to be when I grow up?"(for grown ups in a career crisis). He even purchased a web-domain to do consulting if nothing shows up soon. But this is one man who is very risk adverse. He will not step off this sinking ship until another ship or at least a very sturdy lifeboat comes along. I'm also trying ( albeit reluctantly) to renew a lapsed RN license of 24 years so that I can help if necessary. THAT is not easy with this even older-than-her-husband middle aged brain! I'm seriously afraid I'd inadvertently kill someone if I went back to work in the hospital. I have so many "senior moments" these days that I'm dangerous. As well as half deaf. I really shouldn't be doing any work where life is at stake. I can't say the doors to heaven are completely locked shut. I have to admit two impressions (if I can trust them to be such. I'm a little leary after our last escapade.) 1- I should really get my license back. ( I'd rather not but...) And 2- Family relationships are more important than going on another far away, remote adventure for work. That means things would have to work out in one of two locations. And neither are a sure thing at this point. And either one would require sacrifice on the part of someone in the family. On the other hand, the most promising looking job would take us to a state that is probably #1 on my list of places I don't want to live. So yes, we're getting some heavenly instruction. But it certainly isn't making a lot of sense. I do still wonder if atheists have the whole thinking process a little simpler. I wouldn't ever want to take the risk to find that out by rejecting God. But I'd at least know my decisions are my own and I wouldn't have to try to figure out nebulous messages that aren't quite coming in clear or just don't seem logical. If I make the right choice I can take all the credit. If I make the wrong choice, it's all on me and I don't have to be mad at deity for either not making it clear enough or mad at myself for not being righteous enough to get the correct message.

My husband is looking in the executive level of jobs. He actually has recruiters that contact him. He's on linkedin and a number of other resources. He has applied for probably 30-40 jobs at least. He mostly just hears nothing back from them. He has landed interviews for jobs in at least 6 different states over the past several years. He was selected for one of those jobs but the working conditions were bad and he was concerned about the pay not being enough to move from a very low cost of living state to a much higher one. So he turned it down. He's currently waiting to hear back on a job he interviewed for in Texas. He's had preliminary phone interviews on two more this week. but I guess with his track record for not getting the jobs, I've pretty much lost hope. The director job he was hired for 6 years ago has morphed and the budget has been carved to the point that the job is no longer recognizable. In fact when we left for a temporary assignment in Washington DC, the rug was ripped out from under him and ALL of his responsibility and authority to do this job were taken away even though he was promised he'd have it all back when we returned. It's been the weirdest, most unethical process I've ever seen. They compliment him on what he does and yet they turn around and give his job to someone else and tell him he needs to find other work to do within the company on his own. It really is a bizarre situation. And yet, he can't find another job anywhere. Part of the problem is that he's in his mid 50s. It feels to him and many of his same age friends that they being purposely edged out by the younger generation. He's never been unable to find a job before- never been unemployed except for about a month right after he graduated 29 years ago. We see the ship sinking and we're bailing as fast as we can and praying as we go, and yet there seems to be nothing we can do to stop the inevitable disaster. He's been told they can keep paying him for the odd jobs and projects he drums up through Sept. Then...who knows what? We've seen this coming gradually ( with a flaxen cord) for years now and we've done our very best to avoid a disaster but nothing is working. And the heavens remain either so silent, or in my case my mind so anxious and running so many directions that I can't make sense of any of it.

Back to the OP. The reason I ask this is because my husband and I have been working on a problem having to do with his employment (where and what job) for what seems like too long. We've been praying and fasting and going to the temple and trying to listen for promptings and impressions on how to solve it. Our current situation is simply not sustainable. But despite our searching the spiritual depths of the problem, and doing everything in our power to change the situation, It seems the heavens are closed on this. It's a pretty big issue that would have long-term serious impact on our family and yet we don't seem to be getting any answers. I know these things can take time...but years? It's something we need resolved because frankly I'm starting to lose my sanity. We thought we had the answers last year and followed through on our impressions, only to have it fail miserably due to the actions of basically one unmerciful person unrelated to us who sank the ship. So now I'm thinking, well if the answers we think we're getting are the wrong ones, and we're not getting any other "vibes", how do non-praying people handle their tough life questions? What instincts or thought processes do they use? Does the Lord guide them despite their unbelief and their obvious ingratitude toward HIm for any advantages or what believers call "blessings"? Or are they truly on their own as far as the heavens opening doors for them. Is the Lord telling us in His way that we just need to work this out on our own and that there are far more pressing problems for Him than where our family works and lives? I know my expectations lie within the 1st world purview. And we honestly lack for nothing materially (except a boat and some nice trips to the beach, and our kids lack a trampoline but that's because I'm a pediatric nurse.) But given our education level, past work experience and level of responsibility at those jobs, something should have worked out by now. And at this point, the choices we make could potentially make or break it spiritually, socially and educationally for our remaining children at home. Plus what happens to us could potentially have long term impact on our extended family relationships, too. So what gives? In matters this important, why the silence from the heavens?

When we as believers have problems in our lives we almost immediately turn to prayer and ask for help from our Heavenly Father. We also believe that Jesus can soothe our souls and help us resolve our issues through His atonement. And when our issues are solved, hopefully we then thank our heavenly Father for His help. So I assume that atheists don't turn to God with their problems. But I also assume that they don't often just hang onto their hardships their whole lives, either. Unemployment comes to an end, Relationships have their downs but their ups, too. Illnesses are cured and sticky problems in life are done away with for them, perhaps at about the same rate as for believers. So do you think that it's the influence of God that is helping them, despite their rejection of Him? Or is it simply mind over matter or that they develop other ways of coping mentally and emotionally with their issues? If we attribute all our blessings to deity, how do we account for successes (blessings) for those who don't believe? They obviously don't ask for those blessings...from God anyway. Can anyone find scriptures to help with this question?

I was just wondering how it would affect the narratives spun by those trying to affix blame already. I thought maybe it would quiet the cries of victimization a bit from the LGBT crowd who are trying to hoard the whole pie for themselves and have laid blame squarely at the feet of religion. . (I don't disagree that they deserve a huge slice of the pie on this one.) I've read so many statements from that group saying there was only one reason he chose a gay bar and that was because of his, (and many religions') hatred for gays. I thought maybe once they found out he was actually one of them they would say, OK it's not Christianity's fault and the guy was just crazy. But no, They still blame Christianity because if Christians had only made the environment more accepting, this guy wouldn't have had the self-loathing that cause him to shoot up the gay bar and kill so many of his kind. It's psychological pretzels at this point. So twisted and contorted. I'm getting more confused the more I read! Don't even start the gun debate here because that's just a distraction and muddies the water. Gun control is neither here nor there when we're trying to figure out a motive. And who, if anyone besides this obviously sick and deranged dude, is to blame. I am intrigued by all the different opinions but ultimately, it's not worth all the mental energy I'm putting into it. And I probably fall into the group of calloused and uncaring folks who aren't still just simply mourning. I guess I'm not heartbroken like I was after Sandy Hook because I've never been to a bar (besides an English pub or two), know no one personally involved and don't relate to that culture at all. I am sad that so many lives were lost in a violent manner. And feeling even more wary of ISIS. But I'm not feeling the loss personally as so many are. I feel far more sickened and saddened by the two year old eaten by an alligator than the shooting.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765687311/FBI-looking-at-whether-Orlando-gunman-led-a-secret-gay-life.html

That's true. But according to the gunman's father he reacted violently to seeing two men kissing. Not every Muslim reacts quite that openly to seeing it. So he may also have simply had a serious anger problem, too. I agree. Homophobia probably isn't the right word. I actually dislike that word a great deal. It's used to belittle people who believe only in man-women relationships.

ugh! The internet is full of chaos right now about who or what is really to blame. Gays want this to be about violence towards gays, requiring even more protection for them. Liberals want this to be only about gun control. They're hedging mightily that it has anything to do with ISIS. Conservatives are saying the killer pledged support to ISIS so yes it's a terrorist attack and this would have happened with gun control or not. AND wiping egg off their faces about saying bad things about gays."Well, we never said we want to kill them." The LDS Church is simply offering condolences to victims and their families. LGBT supporters/ Mormon haters are saying, we don't want your sympathy because you won't let us take the sacrament or baptize our children in your church. Some Disney afficionadoas are even asking for prayers for Orlando because that's where Disneyland is. they don't care much for the victims, just that their beloved Disneyland is so close to the danger. What. A. Mess. My take is that it's probably a combination of ISIS influence and homophobia (as stated by the gunman's father) perhaps from Islamic influence. He was American born though so it isn't a case of some militant refugee crashing a gay party. I don't think this should be about gun control. I've never been either pro-gun or anti gun because I don't care for them but I don't care if other's do. But these killing events are starting to get crazy. Is this kind of thing even controllable? I don't blame the guns themselves. I do put a big portion of the blame on Hollywood, video games, mental insecurity and instability due to the pickle our country is in and also the lack of fathers to teach kids how to deal with life and perhaps mothers MIA, too. And the media that plasters the killers names across the headlines. They've made their statement and gotten their day of fame.

Well, good for Texas. My husband is interviewing for a job near this area in two weeks. Maybe the schools will be better than here in SE ID. Pathetic here!

So Modorbund, why should this not have happened? Or did I miss some sarcasm there?

Yes, I get all this. It's frustrating because religious logic makes no sense to them, in fact it's offensive to those who want to believe they are shackled to their attractions. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that yes, some are "born that way" with some feelings, mannerisms, interests that culturally usually are attributed to the opposite sex. Maybe their amorous (meaning they just love hanging out with and being close to my own gender) feelings toward the same sex also were part of their genetic make-up. But in no way do I believe the impulse to copulate with the same sex is inborn. That's what society has told them. Now that the world is telling them that all these "feelings" mean they are gay...well, by golly, they must be true to themselves. But when asked when they first learned what it meant to be gay, they will all categorically deny they ever learned it from anyone else. So that's my theory of the day. Don't know if it's true, but I do know for a fact that if men were to perpetuate the the species with other men, male anatomy would have been created to accommodate that activity. Same with women creating more humans with women. But it wasn't. So biologically and physically (by which we were created by our maker) it was never meant to be. As far as the apostasy part goes, I guess it's such a personal thing that I may never know how such and such an individual really feels. but I'm pretty sure I recognize blasphemy and disrespect for the prophet when I see it. That's at least a step down the road to apostasy.

What's OD2?

Oh man! You don't even want to know. It's not pretty.