Backroads

Now I know this debate has pretty much been settled, but there is something that has been on my mind throughout this thread--nothing directly related to it, but something that a few mind jumps and skips brought on. A few people have said that you shouldn't listen to parent's opinions on a relationship, and I think we all agree that there have to be boundaries between child and parent. However, is it a really, really bad thing to at some point tell someone you do not think a relationship is good for him/her? Don't nag about it: Say it once, and then hold your peace and realize it's ultimately up to the individual and you've but shared your thoughts for consideration. I guess one saying "I told you so" is better than the other person saying "You should have told me."

Yes it would. I have a high respect for Eagle Scouts. To you, sir!

Facebook Info. Also google Ruth Abigail Light. Bring Ruth home! | Facebook

Now some of the finest people I know are people who have broken pretty much every Mormon rule out there or never followed it. And I know plenty of by-the-book people who are awful. Doesn't change the fact that it's a commandment that does have a lot of evidence supporting it.

I think I just bonded with you here.

I don't know if anyone here is following the story of the Light family, who chose to have a home birth, had some difficulties with it, and therefore had their baby removed from their home by the state. According to the mother's Facebook page and the group, the court proceedings today are allowing them to take Baby Ruth home!!!!

I'm sorry. *hugs*

I think there is a big difference between being alone and lonely. Frankly, I'm a very independent person who is probably bordering on hermit. I love "me time"; I do need a perk up from it with socialization, but in that turn I also have to take breaks from socialization. I actually spent last New Year's Eve alone (turned down a party) and quite enjoyed it! I watched some documanteries, did some deep cleaning (I'm superstitious that way) and read a book. Yes, I stayed up for midnight. It was quite lovely and I look back on it fondly. But yes, I have never felt the holidays were about wild parties. It seems most of the on-holiday parties I've been to were family and/or close friends. It doesn't seem right to do it any other way.

I've been an Amazon junkie for ten years... not quitting now. They can sell what they like, but that doesn't mean I have to buy it. I am against the book, I don't think the author should have been arrested. HOWEVER... (and I can understand if this gets this post deleted) pedophilia is somewhat misunderstood. Everyone is horrified by people who have those urges (and rightly so) yet no one ever bothers to help them.

I guess I'm "what's the big deal?" I like some of the Desert Book/Seagull stuff out there. There's a market for it, it's a free country where capitalism thrives, and hey, I like being able to get some cute LDS-themed stuff out there and apparently do a lot of people. Is it all great? No, but that's how it works. I just wish people would get better taste.

Is there anything wrong, essentially, with thinking you are nothing? I actually feel best when I'm staring out into the stars or the ocean or the forest and relishing in how little and insignificant me and my problems are in the grand scheme of things. Now is this an excuse to have low self-confidence? No, God doesn't want that, either? Jodi Foster had a fabulous line on Contact. "that tells us, undeniably, how tiny, and insignificant and how... rare, and precious we all are! A vision that tells us that we belong to something that is greater then ourselves, that we are *not*, that none of us are alone!"

Heck, maybe I needed a chill pill! Peace?

Hence the "not necessarily" in my OP. I just don't think we can say "All women loved/hated it". And I am just saying that my cousins had miserable times in their contemporary polygamous relationships. From what I understand, Canada is considering legalizing polygamous relationships. I have no problem with that. Like catalyst, I do agree that consenting adults may do whatever they wish as long as it doesn't affect me.

It's true. Having studied a bit of history, I think it's quite dangerous to make lots of hard conclusions on anything, which is what Brodie and other such researchers have done. You may have solid facts, but you have to be careful what you do with them and also realize that those facts are not inclusive and all that happened in history.

I think the Law of Chasity is so much more than a simple yes-or-no-did-you-have-intercourse? question. I've run into people who feel they are being chaste because they have done everything-but. Now I think a lot of what is okay/what isn't truly is up to personal interpretation and comfort, but I don't think everything but sex is necessarily okay in premarital relationships.

It didn't say... it was merely mentioned in anectdote.

Now I actually do believe there is something to making a relationship work and not completely relying on fate and destiny, but it's probably easier to make that work when you are compatible with someone. There's also the fact that marrying for love is a relatively recent thing in human history... I'm still trying to decide how I feel about my sixth month courtship... I always thought I would be dating someone longer (Then again, for the past eight years I begin dating people immediately looking for marriage potential and compatibility and tend to weed out people within a month of dating). I've heard the rule of thumb should be at least a year between beginning of dating and marriage, but I have neighbors who have been very happily married for forty years who married a month after meeting. There's also people who divorce despite having dated for years. I am also trying to find evidence that proves a one or the other is best, though I personall lean toward a longer courtship period.

Studies have shown: 1. People who cohabitate before/instead of marriage are more likely to find themselves in abusive/subserviant relationshps. 2. People who wait until marriage report better sex lives. 3. Many teenagers are not physically or emotionally ready for sex. They can damage their bodies, and the emotional impact of high school boy or girl dumping them will be much higher after sex has been experienced. I also think that saying the only people who wait til marriage are those that believe in the Bible is a very unresearched phrase. How do you explain the believers of so many other faiths (and atheism!) who decided to wait for the commitment of marriage? And how do you explain the many Christians who have no qualms with pre-marital sex? I read a great quote the other day about people who have premarital sex while claiming commitment. "Here's how to know if you have a commitment. If you're married, you have one. If you're not, you don't." The man went on to say that ANYTHING can change before a marriage. Now that isn't to say that marriage=commitment, but that commmitment=marriage.

This is something I've noticed in Mormon culture. My own courtship was about six months, and some people were wondering why it was so long. Then I see all these people who court for about a week before the engagement (I kid you not) and wind up having marriages that last decades (while others fail...) Why do you think this trend exists?

I fall into the "skip the sacrement" category. I figure you're in the mountains, they're sacred and holy, etc. You're good. The only time I've ever done this was at camp. We had too many people who wanted to go the little ward twenty minutes down the mountain and not enough cars. One of my friends called up the bishop, got permission, yada, yada... It was fun. We actually used left-over rolls and cleaned out a bunch of butter packages for cups.

Thanks for your thoughts. Just this past weekend he told me he is talking to someone (he's a college student and he's finally taking care of the free counseling offers) and he also has told me he doesn't want this to be my burden. We're still aiming for marriage and I'm still wearing the ring, but we really are discussing these things so... who knows? But even if it does go out, I would like it to go out knowing there was an effort from both of us.

That is wonderful! Welcome!

Not to downplay your own experiences and those of others, the episode did say what the missionary was doing alone. He was hanging around with other religious leaders explaining gospel and moral principals to a girl.

Hi! I am so happy you are so devoted to indexing!

But seriously, can I ask what I said that made you bite my head off? It was a little uncalled for.