yjacket

Thank you MG.  I also have nothing but respect for you too. The same goes for pretty much everyone on this board.
Yes, I do get into with just about everyone from time to time, I get upset, they get upset at me. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes they're right-it's a message board with people from diverse experiences, past, etc.  It's gonna happen and IMO it gives life a little bit of spice-so while I get might get ticked I get over it.
But one thing I'm positive of is that just about everyone here has a firm faith in Christ and those who don't are encouraged (in a good way) to obtain one. We've all had our struggles, trials, etc. and for that and their faith, I have deep respect for-even if we disagree on a whole host of other issues.

...and Aretha Franklin.

I'd don't always write, but when I do I use a black pen-stay thirsty my friends!
lol . . .very funny.  I love it.  

Really!?  @yjacket, which Penmanship do you have, the clear one, or the black one?  And what ink are you using in it?  And what did you do to the poor thing to make it atrocious?

I’m not trying to make any particular point here on one side or the other and I’ve only read the first three pages of this discussion. I’m just mentioning a few scriptures that it might be interesting to think about.

On the side of the YW leaders we have

7 Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me.

18  When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand.

19  Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.

20  Again, When a righteous man doth turn from his righteousness, and commit iniquity, and I lay a stumblingblock before him, he shall die: because thou hast not given him warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he hath done shall not be remembered; but his blood will I require at thine hand.

21  Nevertheless if thou warn the righteous man, that the righteous sin not, and he doth not sin, he shall surely live, because he is warned; also thou hast delivered thy soul.


 
and

 
What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.

 
And

 
88  And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled.
89  And if he or she confess not thou shalt deliver him or her up unto the church, not to the members, but to the elders.  And it shall be done in a meeting, and that not before the world.

90  And if thy brother or sister offend many, he or she shall be chastened before many.

91  And if any one offend openly, he or she shall be rebuked openly, that he or she may be ashamed.  And if he or she confess not, he or she shall be delivered up unto the law of God.

92  If any shall offend in secret, he or she shall be rebuked in secret, that he or she may have opportunity to confess in secret to him or her whom he or she has offended, and to God, that the church may not speak reproachfully of him or her.

93  And thus shall ye conduct in all things.


 

 
And on the side of the parents we have
 

 
And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.
26  For this shall be a law unto the inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized.

27  And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins when eight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands.

28  And they (the parents) shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.


 
 
40  But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth. (The commandment is to the parents)


 
Of course these verses are not definitive in preferring one course of action over another, nor are they completely analogous but I think they might be worth thinking about when trying to decide the rightness or wrongness of what happened.

Not being your parent, I'm somewhat amused. But dang if you were my daughter, I'd seriously consider a lifetime ban from all screens. Get it under control lil chickie!

He splits his infinitives.

Lilyflowers88,I do mean this in sincerity; had you been honest, upfront and forthright at the beginning, I guarantee you the responses would have been different.  I personally tailor my responses to whom I'm speaking to.  I encourage you to read my comments several pages back where I directed my comments specifically to you (where I said STE "to the young lady" having in mind that you were the one mostly likely posting this rather than your mother). If you read those comments, my tone, my tenor and how I approach things is different than the rest of my comments.
What I say to an adult is going to be different than what I say to you as a young lady.  If my kid does something stupid or boneheaded, I will speak much more plainly to my wife about said action then to my child (where I might if necessary speak very plainly to them).
You are not a parent, you don't have kids, you don't have any clue what that is all about (I'm not being negative-it's just a fact and that's okay).  I have no doubt that you believe the version of the truth you are giving; however remember you specifically and intentionally lied about who you represented.  If you willing to intentionally misrepresent yourself so fully on this anonymous message board, what else are you misrepresenting in "real" life. Misrepresenting who you are is by it's very definition immature.
I called you on it; I don't take pleasure in doing so, but it is for your own good. Look at how many pages have been created on this; look at how much discord, arguing, etc. has been caused by a misrepresentation.  You need to accept responsibility for that.  
If you can't accurately represent yourself on an anonymous message board, why in the world would anyone in the real world trust you?
My guess is that these little games you play have probably gone on for a very long time and unfortunately very few people have called you on it.  This is a hard lesson to learn, but the sooner you learn it, the better off you will be in life.

@Lilyflowers88, what you read were people's authentic reaction to (what they believed to be) your mother's view of the story. Your deception actually got you exactly what you wanted: Real, honest reactions, not the scolding of a child, but adult concerns and adult views of how best to help a beloved daughter get through a difficult situation.
In general, such deceptions are a very bad idea, and I advise you to determine never to "sock-puppet" yourself online any more. However, you can view this as a positive experience, not just because you learned a lesson about not pretending to be someone else, but because you got read adult insights into what you did. This is how people actually think when they don't know you're a teenage girl. You got the raw truth. That's valuable. Take it to heart.

Lilyflowers88,I do mean this in sincerity; had you been honest, upfront and forthright at the beginning, I guarantee you the responses would have been different.  I personally tailor my responses to whom I'm speaking to.  I encourage you to read my comments several pages back where I directed my comments specifically to you (where I said STE "to the young lady" having in mind that you were the one mostly likely posting this rather than your mother). If you read those comments, my tone, my tenor and how I approach things is different than the rest of my comments.
What I say to an adult is going to be different than what I say to you as a young lady.  If my kid does something stupid or boneheaded, I will speak much more plainly to my wife about said action then to my child (where I might if necessary speak very plainly to them).
You are not a parent, you don't have kids, you don't have any clue what that is all about (I'm not being negative-it's just a fact and that's okay).  I have no doubt that you believe the version of the truth you are giving; however remember you specifically and intentionally lied about who you represented.  If you willing to intentionally misrepresent yourself so fully on this anonymous message board, what else are you misrepresenting in "real" life. Misrepresenting who you are is by it's very definition immature.
I called you on it; I don't take pleasure in doing so, but it is for your own good. Look at how many pages have been created on this; look at how much discord, arguing, etc. has been caused by a misrepresentation.  You need to accept responsibility for that.  
If you can't accurately represent yourself on an anonymous message board, why in the world would anyone in the real world trust you?
My guess is that these little games you play have probably gone on for a very long time and unfortunately very few people have called you on it.  This is a hard lesson to learn, but the sooner you learn it, the better off you will be in life.

I don't particularly agree with this.  I agree depending on the age. For a 12-year old, sure maybe depending on what it is.  For a 16-17 year old child, not so much.  They are very close to what should be adulthood-and up until about the early 20th century were expected at age 16-17 to act like it.  Being an adult is not some magical process whereby poof one day your 17, the next day you are 18 and you're an adult! It is a process that takes a lot of time.
What being an adult is really about is emancipation from your parents and being responsible for your own actions. In today's society we have 24 year olds who are legally "adults" but who are far, far from being an adult-they have the attitude and mindset of a child inside a big body. 
So absolutely no I do not agree with this for a 16-17 year old-they need to learn how to be an adult and that includes getting their junk together, being responsible for their behaviors and when necessary receiving direct counsel from someone other than their parents without them present.
We have parents who won't allow their 8 year old to receive a baptismal interview alone with the Bishop.  What message does that send to the child?  That either they or the Bishop is not responsible enough to have a conversation alone.  If you are so afraid that the Bishop is going to do something to your kid, then what is the point? If I'm worried the Bishop is a perv. I'm not letting my kid go near them let alone have a conversation with them-I'd pull them out of the Church and go somewhere else.
If you notice a running thread here, it is one of trust.  Trust in leadership, trust in those placed in those positions of authority vs. over someone who isn't in said position. 

@Lilyflowers88 - In case you hadn't heard this:  "We are disciples and our messages should be authentic. A person or product that is not authentic is false, fake, and fraudulent. Our messages should be truthful, honest, and accurate.  We should not exaggerate, embellish, or pretend to be someone or something we are not. Our content should be trustworthy and constructive. And anonymity on the Internet is not a license to be inauthentic." - Elder David A. Bednar

Well, my one burning question right now @Lilyflowers88 . Is why is the mother asking questions on an LDS board from her daughters account?
Who's account would it be when the birthdate on the account says 7/15/00 (i.e. the 17 year-old girl) and when in previous thread things are said like:
I can smell BS a mile away and my BS meter is off the charts.  So exactly who posted the OP.  The mother or the daughter?
I highly doubt the mother is posting on this board when the daughter makes comments like that.  Why would the daughter give her mother access to her account when the daughter posts comments like that? If the mother really did make the comments.  Did you know you daughter suffer/ed from depression.  Did you know she suffered from addiction?  Did you know that she hid these things from you?
Want to talk about honesty and being forthright?  Maybe you should investigate a little bit more into just what exactly your daughter has been doing and saying online?  Maybe instead of defending your daughter at every step of the way, take a long good hard look and what she tells you and then what she says online.  If she does this online without your knowledge, what else does she do?  If she can't talk to you about her depression and addiction, what else will she not talk to you about?  It's okay for your daughter to come onto an anonymous message board receive feedback from total complete strangers, yet it's not okay for her leaders who know her and know her situation better than us to lovingly correct her?  
Something is wrong with this picture-deeply wrong. Maybe instead of getting all up in arms at the leaders, maybe took a good hard long look at your kid.  If and I'll make a small exception, if it truly is the mother-it shows a deeply unhealthy relationship between mother and child that the mother does not create her own account to address this issue (and does not state so upfront) and instead uses her daughters account to post this.
Come now @Lilyflowers88 tell us the real deal and no BS. I know you are checking this forum and probably this thread.  You last visited this web site 9 min. ago.

Cool.  Thank you!

Type the @ sign.  Type a few characters at the start of their login name.  A list will pop up, use the mouse to click a name in the list.  @yjacket - or use the down-arrow to select a name from the list, and then hit enter to insert it in your post.  If it worked, the name will be white text in a blue box while still in the text editor.

Thanks.
I see so many posts on problems with the church's "culture". As if people are not the same selfish idiots all over. True, the gospel should, theoretically, make people less idiotic. And I would dare say it does, overall. But it cannot cure idiocy. Mortal beings are fallible.
Seriously @Lostboy289, outside the church the only reason you don't see the problem is because people don't bother to commit or go on missions. They just sleep with whoever's drunk enough at the moment and move on (as one example, there are many more). The only part of the church culture that effects this issue is that commitment is a thing in the gospel.
So everyone in the church must be perfect or you'll lose your faith?
Really?
Be a little bit forgiving. You certainly will have your idiocy things just like I do and just like everyone does. We're imperfect mortals, all.
Stop judging because others sin differently than you.
And what does any of this have to do with your faith?

Stop blaming the church because people are idiots.

Why is the missionary discussing marriage plans instead of focusing on his mission?

Ahh so now we see the real issue... Its not about someone else's sin...  Its about you and your friend being unable to forgive and let it go.
Here is a scripture for you
D&C 64
9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
The atonement means that justice and punishment for ALL sins is in the hands of the Lord not in ours. 
This scripture is a hard thing that the Lord commands of us... but make no mistake it is a command.
In the next verse Lord tells is exactly what he means by forgive.
11 And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.
Please note nowhere does the Lord condition this commandment on someone else repenting first
Basically he commands us to trust him and turn it over to him.  Until you do, until your friend does you both will be ruining your own lives because you have not followed the Lord's instructions.

Let me get this straight:
Breaking up with a non-spouse, even a fiance but still a non-spouse, is something that requires the bishop.
Is that what you're saying?
I'm sorry, but matters of the heart are generally outside of my circle of influence. I'm not going to stick my nose into that business and I am certainly not going to scold some acquaintance about ending a relationship and starting another. 
You speak of past generations of being so much more committed in their pre-marriage relationships. I daresay you are looking at that through rose-colored glasses and probably a more than romantic view of history rather than the truth.
Consider it less than the commitment of marriage.
Putting marriage and waiting for a missionary on the same level cheapens the value of eternal marriage. 
I can go in with sorrow and apology, but no, I don't think anyone should be expected to actually wait for a missionary unless they are actually married. They certainly shouldn't be punished for it.

I disagree with categorizing the breaking of an engagement as "a sin". Certainly, someone might sin in such an action. But an engagement can be broken with a pure heart and a clear conscience if someone decides (perhaps through a spiritual prompting, or perhaps just having talked with her mother) that she doesn't want to marry the guy any more.

So you prefer us to brand her (and everyone) with a giant scarlet letter for whatever sin they engage in.  If you are not going be content until this woman that hurt your friend is publicly humiliated then please put on your letter first.
Last I checked lying is listed in the scriptures as a sin..  Last I check most instances of lying and other sins are not publicly called out.  This case is no different but you seem to insist that we treat it differently

The same thing you do with any other mistake you find that you made... You repent.
The most correct thing to do is acknowledge the mistake, ask those affected to forgive you for making the mistake, and then move on and not do it again.
That is why repentance is given to us...

The behavior is acceptable because an engagement is a promise of intent, not a covenant. Marriage is a covenant. If a wife divorces her husband because he's deployed and she's tired of not having him home, that's immoral and unacceptable. But an engagement is not a marriage, and people are allowed to break their engagement at any time and for whatever reason they find compelling. It may be immature, it may be inconvenient, it may be inconsiderate. But it is not immoral.
As far as it being widespread, I haven't noticed it to be so. I did know a couple of elders in my mission who got Dear Johned, but in both cases they quickly got past it. In the end, they were happier, because they could devote themselves to the work without distraction.

You have been told this...  Commitment is marriage... not dating.
If you make a foolish commitment while dating... once you realize you have made a foolish commitment  we expect you to get yourself out.  Not sacrifice your eternal marriage, your eternal happiness and that of your spouse, and of your children.  Just so you can say "I kept a commitment I should have never made."