yjacket

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  1. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from MsMagnolia in Trouble with 15 yr old and bishop interview   
    I'll be blunt.
     
    Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
     
    Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
     
    You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
     
    I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
     
    If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
     
    Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.
  2. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Leah in Trouble with 15 yr old and bishop interview   
    Shepard,
     
    Parenting in this modern world is exceptionally difficult.  I have made so many mistakes and my kids are young.  Not only are children bombarded by messages, but so are parents.  For example, if you have ever watched the movie "The Croods".  It seems to be a fun-loving movie, but the underlying messages are so destructive.  The message about an idiot father and the rebellious teenager who ends up being smarter than her dad and teaches her dad a thing or two.  This is 180 degrees what the message was 40 years ago of the very wise father helping the child learn to be an adult.
     
    I'm not that old and while yes kids talked about "it", I chose my friends wisely and the friends I chose didn't talk about "it".  Your child isn't being exposed to "it", she is exposing others to "it".  And that is a big, big difference.  You can almost bet, bottom dollar that if she is willing to talk about "it" in that much detail, she is thinking about doing "it", if it hasn't already happened.
     
     There is a difference between being rebellious and slamming the door in your dad's face (which I did and my door-after the 10th time or so was promptly removed for several months) and being contemptuous of religious authority, parental authority,etc. Recording and sharing it to all her friends is a big, big problem.  Leading a revolt, to me means she's not the child who is following someone else, it means she is the one who is leading others into captivity and sin.  It quite frankly means your child is the rebellious ringleader.
     
    Parenting is real hard, and if you are honestly seeking for the best interest of your child then you should read.  But please, please, please wake up and smell the coffee, your child has some very serious issues.  Since she is now 15, it may now be too late to spare her the pain and absolute suffering that is coming for her down the road.  15 and she is sharing recordings of her explaining things that she supposedly did.  16 and she is texting a boy about stuff, 17 and she is sending pictures, doing things, etc. 18 she is pregnant.  As an FYI, in many states it is an actual sex crime if a 18 year old sends explicit messages to an under-age teen.
     
    A child who is this brazen to record it, send it to friends, is headed for trouble.  Your daughter didn't immediately go to the psychiatrist, or you, they got from a student you don't know!!!  I hope you can feel my sincerity, but please for all that is good in the world, do not worry about the bishop, worry about your daughter!!!!
     
    If you really want to get a handle on things, then you will need to read.
    If you truly want to fix this problem, I have one person who's books you will need to read.
    John Rosemond: Teen-Proofing 
     
    http://rosemond.com/teen-proofing/
    &
    John Rosemond: Parenting by the Book.
    http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416544844/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=32602029558&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=663143708805853569&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_2di9sb8yug_e
  3. Like
    yjacket reacted to Wingnut in Trouble with 15 yr old and bishop interview   
    The interviews are prescribed to be twice-yearly.  For youth aged 12-15, one interview per year should be with the bishop, while the other may be with a counselor.  For 16-17-year-old youth, both interviews should be with the bishop.
     
    They are not required.  However, not participating in these interviews can have consequences, such as not being able to obtain a limited-use recommend for the temple*.  You mentioned in your OP that you didn't force your daughter to go to the temple with the ward.  The temple should never be forced.  If she doesn't want to attend, she probably shouldn't.  If she wants to attend, she needs to meet with the bishop.  If she refuses to meet with the bishop, then she needs to accept the consequence that she will be unable to attend the temple.
     
    As I think about this more, it sounds to me a little like your daughter is just rebelling for the sake of rebelling.  As the oldest child, she is likely given the most responsibility and blame, but the least amount of freedom and control.  She may be acting out simply because she feels she is under your thumb and (like a toddler during the "terrible twos") simply is trying to assert a level of control in her own life.  The sharing may just be to get your attention.
     
    Or, she may not have a testimony or want one.  Despite your own efforts and the way you've raised her, she may genuinely want nothing to do with the Church.  The more you push her into it, and force her to "do what's right," the more you may be pushing her away, in reality.  I don't have any advice for you on this issue, because I've often thought to myself that as long as my children live in my home as minors, they will go to church with the family, whether they like it or not.  When they're 18, they can make their own decisions.  Thinking about your recent experience, I'm not certain that I agree with myself on that anymore, though.  But it is an angle you should consider.





    *Other things might include broadcasts of local temple dedication services, ecclesiastical recommendations for college, letters of recommendation, and other local non-official things (in my stake, youth have an interview with the bishop prior to attending Trek for youth conference every four years, and they sign an honor code contract).  Additionally, she would not be able to have a calling if she refuses to meet with the bishop or a member of the bishopric.
  4. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Daybreak79 in Trouble with 15 yr old and bishop interview   
    I'll be blunt.
     
    Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
     
    Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
     
    You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
     
    I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
     
    If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
     
    Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.
  5. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from nightcrawler1977 in Trouble with 15 yr old and bishop interview   
    I'll be blunt.
     
    Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
     
    Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
     
    You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
     
    I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
     
    If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
     
    Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.
  6. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Backroads in Trouble with 15 yr old and bishop interview   
    I'll be blunt.
     
    Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
     
    Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
     
    You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
     
    I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
     
    If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
     
    Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.
  7. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from AngelMarvel in Trouble with 15 yr old and bishop interview   
    I'll be blunt.
     
    Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
     
    Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
     
    You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
     
    I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
     
    If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
     
    Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.
  8. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Wingnut in Trouble with 15 yr old and bishop interview   
    I'll be blunt.
     
    Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
     
    Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
     
    You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
     
    I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
     
    If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
     
    Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.
  9. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from mordorbund in Life, Liberty, and Property - pick any two   
    Good question.  The Declaration of Independence is a fantastic document, however it is also a product of 13 almost completely independent colonies coming together in unison.  
     
    At the beginning of the Continental Congress, one of the most important questions was who would say the opening prayer. The Congregationalist in the New England vs. the Baptists in the South vs. the various other religious colonies.  Unity in the colonies was a monumental task for a simple reason of religion as each colony basically had their own colonial religion.  Luckily some wise men (Sam Adams one of them) helped pick the right person to lead the opening prayer.  
     
    Sam Adams was basically vital in helping foment the revolution and keeping it alive to get to the Declaration of Independence.  Without Sam Adams, there would be no revolution.  Adams was a Congregationalist and he was also poor, especially when compared to other delegates like Hancock.  Adams never cared much for wealth or property, at one point he was the tax collector for Boston and let's just say he didn't do a very good job of enforcement.  Jefferson certainly had a basis in Locke and IIRC the phrase was originally to be life, liberty and property.  The choosing of Jefferson, Franklin and John Adams (Sam's cousin) on the committee to write the declaration was important.  Being able to balance all the politics of the various colonies in order to send a completely united voice of independence was vital.
     
    Ultimately, I think the phrasing was more palatable for all the representatives to sign, especially for some of the more northern colonies who's religion focused much less on the importance of property.
     
    The Declaration is a fantastic document and Locke and Jefferson produced a fantastic groundwork.  But just like science has advance, the ability to extrapolate further upon natural rights has also expanded.  From Locke and Jefferson to Frederick Bastiate, Lord Acton, to Lysander Spooner and Albert Jay Nock, to Mises, Murray Rothbard and others.
  10. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from mordorbund in Life, Liberty, and Property - pick any two   
    I'll pick just one, property.  
     
    All other rights can be extrapolated from property rights.  Before one can truly understand rights, a clear distinction must be made between legality and morality.  Legality means that a bunch of other people of the ability to forcibly deprive one of their rights.  Morality is a higher law than legality and is what one should do regardless of the legality of something.  A key distinction between morality and legality is should and must, morality is what one should do based upon either an internal conscience, religion, etc.. Legality is what a bunch of other people say one must do. 
     
    The most basic property right is the question of who owns me?  Who owns my body?  And the follow-up question is what does it mean to own something.  To own something, means to do with it how one pleases.  If I own my body, and consequently everyone owns their body, then a legal framework should be set up to protect that right.  This means that anytime I do anything to another human being that they do not approve of (i.e. use of force), I should have my own property rights violated.
     
    From the fact that I own myself, other property rights are defined, i.e. by extension anything that I make is an extension of me as I have mixed my body, my labor with things in the natural world that have no ownership.  Therefore, anytime that in a basic natural state (i.e. a garden of eden type scenario) anything that I form I have ownership over.  So I modify the land and create a farm, I own it.
     
    The extrapolation of property rights can be used to form natural rights of life and liberty and freedom of conscience.  In a complex world, the interleaving of property rights can be very complex but IMO almost all problems in the world can be broken down to a violation of property rights.
  11. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from notquiteperfect in When to move? Marriage advice.   
    1st off, all marriages have issues, so this thought that you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by him being overweight is rubbish.
     
    2nd, you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by owning his problems.  His weight is his issue and his battle, it is not yours.  Yes it affects you, but you cannot control it, conquer it or fight it, only he can.  The thing you can do is be supportive of him.  Let him know that if and when he wants to conquer this battle you will be there to help him however he asks and then drop it.
     
    I feel fairly certain that most people who are overweight, know it, don't like it and would like to be a healthier weight; they just haven't figured out how to fight it, either through strength of mind, lack of incentive, or it's not important enough at this point.
     
    3rd, life is so incredibly short, there is no guarantee that moving on will result in a better life.  In fact, (unless he is abusive, in which case yes leave) you might just find that you had a great husband and you were too blind to see it- don't wait until it is too late to see the good in him.
  12. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Backroads in When to move? Marriage advice.   
    1st off, all marriages have issues, so this thought that you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by him being overweight is rubbish.
     
    2nd, you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by owning his problems.  His weight is his issue and his battle, it is not yours.  Yes it affects you, but you cannot control it, conquer it or fight it, only he can.  The thing you can do is be supportive of him.  Let him know that if and when he wants to conquer this battle you will be there to help him however he asks and then drop it.
     
    I feel fairly certain that most people who are overweight, know it, don't like it and would like to be a healthier weight; they just haven't figured out how to fight it, either through strength of mind, lack of incentive, or it's not important enough at this point.
     
    3rd, life is so incredibly short, there is no guarantee that moving on will result in a better life.  In fact, (unless he is abusive, in which case yes leave) you might just find that you had a great husband and you were too blind to see it- don't wait until it is too late to see the good in him.
  13. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Iggy in When to move? Marriage advice.   
    1st off, all marriages have issues, so this thought that you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by him being overweight is rubbish.
     
    2nd, you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by owning his problems.  His weight is his issue and his battle, it is not yours.  Yes it affects you, but you cannot control it, conquer it or fight it, only he can.  The thing you can do is be supportive of him.  Let him know that if and when he wants to conquer this battle you will be there to help him however he asks and then drop it.
     
    I feel fairly certain that most people who are overweight, know it, don't like it and would like to be a healthier weight; they just haven't figured out how to fight it, either through strength of mind, lack of incentive, or it's not important enough at this point.
     
    3rd, life is so incredibly short, there is no guarantee that moving on will result in a better life.  In fact, (unless he is abusive, in which case yes leave) you might just find that you had a great husband and you were too blind to see it- don't wait until it is too late to see the good in him.
  14. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Leah in When to move? Marriage advice.   
    1st off, all marriages have issues, so this thought that you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by him being overweight is rubbish.
     
    2nd, you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by owning his problems.  His weight is his issue and his battle, it is not yours.  Yes it affects you, but you cannot control it, conquer it or fight it, only he can.  The thing you can do is be supportive of him.  Let him know that if and when he wants to conquer this battle you will be there to help him however he asks and then drop it.
     
    I feel fairly certain that most people who are overweight, know it, don't like it and would like to be a healthier weight; they just haven't figured out how to fight it, either through strength of mind, lack of incentive, or it's not important enough at this point.
     
    3rd, life is so incredibly short, there is no guarantee that moving on will result in a better life.  In fact, (unless he is abusive, in which case yes leave) you might just find that you had a great husband and you were too blind to see it- don't wait until it is too late to see the good in him.
  15. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from pam in When to move? Marriage advice.   
    1st off, all marriages have issues, so this thought that you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by him being overweight is rubbish.
     
    2nd, you are missing out on a fulfilling marriage by owning his problems.  His weight is his issue and his battle, it is not yours.  Yes it affects you, but you cannot control it, conquer it or fight it, only he can.  The thing you can do is be supportive of him.  Let him know that if and when he wants to conquer this battle you will be there to help him however he asks and then drop it.
     
    I feel fairly certain that most people who are overweight, know it, don't like it and would like to be a healthier weight; they just haven't figured out how to fight it, either through strength of mind, lack of incentive, or it's not important enough at this point.
     
    3rd, life is so incredibly short, there is no guarantee that moving on will result in a better life.  In fact, (unless he is abusive, in which case yes leave) you might just find that you had a great husband and you were too blind to see it- don't wait until it is too late to see the good in him.
  16. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Blackmarch in National debt - what comes next?   
    Well its even worse than by law.  It is a mathematical fact that in order for our modern economy to run, it must take on more debt.  If the all debt were eliminated, pretty much all of our currency would vanish.  The actual #s that one sees in their bank account really isn't there because it's been loaned out.
     
    It's a shell game/ponzi scheme. What most people don't realize is that paying off the national debt or even not going further into debt is impossible.
     
    So, I'm not sure the ability to pay the interest with revenue is the catalyst.  In effect we are already doing that.  4 Trillon budget (of which say 500B is interest) and 1 Trillion is financed, how much different is that from 4T budget and 1.5T financed?  Now if the budget was 4T and we needed to finance 4T, that could still work for a while, until interest rates rose and or the debt-to-GDP ended way up there.
     
    Right now and for the last 40+ years the US has a very unique position as being the issuer of the world's reserve currency and this a reason why the US will always have a trade deficit.  We export dollars to the world and they give us stuff, they take those dollars and use them as their backing for their currency.  Because of that reason, the US can abuse their currency more-so than any other country can and get away with it longer.  Even though the Fed has pumped trillions to the banking system, other countries are stuck with an inflating monetary base until something better comes along.
     
    Just like SS is a ponzi scheme that works as long as there are more workers paying in than people taking out (with a built-in assumption that the working population will always be larger than the retiring population), the national debt is based on the assumption that future earnings of increased GDP will pay for the larger current debt.  Both work as long as the ratios between the two don't get too out of whack.
     
    The main trigger is debt-to-GDP ratio.  At some point your economy becomes too over leveraged compared to the amount that it is producing and the debt it is taking on.  At that point, there are really only a couple of options 1) Hard default on the debt and start over. 2) Soft default by inflating away-which is what we do by taking on more debt. 3) Pay it off and naturally deflate.
     
    What is interesting recently is the Feds QE and buying of Mortgage Backed Securities where they are basically trying to lower the leverages by directly buying loans and supplying banks with currency.  So it's a mix of hard default and soft default.  The banks were overleveraged on loans and couldn't pay them back so the Fed bought those loans and supplied them with cash even though the loans were worthless.
     
    I saw direct affect of this in 2010 when I was purchasing a house.  I can't tell you the number of records I looked at that had the foreclosure for say 100k to bank A, the bank sold the house to bank B for 100k and then to Fannie and Freddie for 100k, even though the note was worth 50k.
     
    The most insidious part of the whole process is that this is what causes the rich to get richer and the poor to get poorer, except no one knows it.  The uber rich are rich b/c they are the most connected to the banking industry and the Fed. 
     
    It ends whenever the US economy becomes too overleveraged, and other countries refuse to use the dollar standard, maybe 5 years, maybe 50 years.  When that happens, 2 things will most likely occur, we'll get a massive inflation shock followed by a massive deflation shock and possibly a new currency.
     
    What will happen then, pain and a whole lot of it-maybe even a revolution.
     
    One of the better videos on the this subject: