LDSJewess

Good link, thanks!

Ok on this I have a much differing opinion but please hear me out. Every generation felt that they were facing more difficult times than the generations before them. I was a child in the 1950's, and 1960's. I can tell you that in grade school we used to have "air raid drills" where we would have to go into the basement of the school and line up in the halls sitting with our arms covering our heads to "prepare for the Russians" who it was believed would invade us with bombs. Then in 1962 when I was a only 14 years old, I laid awake in bed fearful that it would be my last night on Earth because during the Cuban Missle Crisis we thought that we would all be nuked and that would be the end of life as we knew it. At 14 I was feeling sad that I had not yet had the opportunity to get a drivers license, finish school, grow up, marry, have children etc: Then still in my teens and very young adulthood I was stressed out over President Kennedy's assination, (which yes was believed to be a conspiracy), then Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, followed by the slaughters from the Manson gang etc: That was my generation, and back then I thought like you that my time was the worst, but I now know from history that there were times long before you and I that were far more evil than our time. With every new generation we are being tested. I think the challenge of your generation is too much noice. Not only is there TV but this over flood of information on the internet which is enough to confuse anyone. I think we need to accept the changes in the world for what they are. Use the internet, books, talks, and whatever you have available to you, but use it very selectively. Don't try to learn everything all at once. It will only confuse you more and you won't enjoy the learning part if you are trying to absorb everything so fast. You have an eternity. Take your time. Pray and read, and surround yourself with others who like you strive to make right choices. Feel free to question and learn. The world is vast and wonderous. But don't expect all the answers right now. And also remember that some answers are subtle and simple, so don't shove the simple answers away because you prefer to have more dramatic impactful answers. Enjoy your journey in life. Life is an amazing gift. May your world be peaceful, enlightening and wonderful even when evil and negativity surround you. We really can choose to coexist with all of it and choose to live in and experience the part of the world that is beautifull and good.

Regarding Just-AGuy" comment on the bait and switch. I agree to a point especially if there is abuse or adultry. BUT all of us in the beginning go into marriage with that courtship kind of love and romance. When dating we all put our best selves forward, and there is generally a honeymoon period. But as time goes by people change naturally. Not bait and switch, but as people grow older into the marriage it is no longer like dating and honeymoon feelings. Things naturally change. Dory, I do hope that you discuss these feelings, (including that you have entertained the possibility of divorce), with your husband, Since he is religious, I would assume he would want to maintain his marriage and be willing to work on it to improve it with you.. One thing that I picked up in your recent post is that "husband is very religious and you are not." Since this is internet posting and I do not know you, I cannot discern to what degree he is religious and you are not. But the question of concern is: Are you thinking of divorce as a sense of freedom, not just from your husband but from the church? And is your extended family religious? If so how is this influencing, (or not influencing), your decisions? The other thing to ask yourself is if you do get a divorce, in what way to you see it being of benefit to you? Do you just prefer to live alone and do your own thing? Are you hoping to find someone else that is less religious, or not religious? Are you looking for that feel good dating high that we often mistake as "love?" What do you want that you believe will make you happy? And once you are fully aware of what you want, then how do you plan on finding and obtaining the happiness you seek? You really will need to be clear with yourself on what you hope to gain by divorce, and also what you want for your life post divorce. If you cannot answer those questions or you are unclear, then it is not the time to make such a decision and prayer and counseling should be the focus until you find those answers clearly. Your last comment also concerns me, but cause you are only in your 40's and you made reference to (I'm paraphrasing), "enduring and then just going into a nursing home". Assuming you are in reasonable physical health, it is not typical for someone your age to be thinking about nursing homes. I am in my 60's and assisted living and nursing homes are the furthest thing from my mind because I am way to busy planning my future. Thinking about the end years of your life when you have only reached mid life could be a sign of depression, peri manopause or a host of other things that are treatable. You say you don't love your husband. But ask yourself if you love yourself? Because loving yourself is a criteria to being able to love others. If you become happy with yourself, then it may be less important to be concerned about being in love. In other words, you say you are not able to love your husband. But are you able to love yourself? You need not answer these questions on a forum like this. This is meant for food for thought for you to ponder and pray about. I do hope that you get counseling on many levels, not just for your marriage but for your self and determining how your own feelings have changed. I will continue to hold you in my thoughts and prayers.

Eowyn, I truly apologize to you as I had no intention of minimizing your life. My comment was related to my personal feelings on the matter regarding MY life. We all have very different frames of reference regarding family, and honestly some of my childhood and young adult experiences are what made me decide not to be a member of the church earlier, because I knew I did not have the same sense of family that others had and at the time I felt like an outcast. My life (to me - not to anyone else) was minimized because at the age of 18 I fled a very violent abusive foster home with a "mother figure" that had serious mental problems and was not in treatment for them. I was just a child myself when I fled that home and I had absolutely no sense of parenting skills at all. The foster mom had other kids younger than I, and it became my responsibility to care for them because she was not mentally capable, which I resented deeply because I was just a kid. So I fled when I was 18, at the time had not completed school and went from the frying pan right into the fire and got married. I was pregnant at 19 and had my first child at 20 before I was even a legal adult. By 26 after numerous hospital visits for myself and eventually my children, I fled that home and was divorced with children; the eldest being in kindergarten and the youngest a new born. No child support, no help and too proud to stay home and let the government care for me and my children. My duty was to find a career very fast and run an entire household with minimal skills or funds. My children spent far more time in day care and after care than they spent with me at home. I cannot say that I was a good parent because I was way to busy providing for them. I did manage to complete my education at least undergraduate work which is an accomplishment for a drop out with kids. I joined the church when I was in my 40's and my children were by then grown. The down side to that which I do regret is that they didn't become members of the church. Maybe someday, but not at this time and they are now grown with kids of their own. So did my having children when I did minimize MY life? Yes it did. It also minimized the lives of my children and consequently my grandchildren. When a stable home life is missing in one generation it can trickle down to the next and to the next. Contrary to belief, not everyone gets the same start in life so our journeys are different. I love the spirits I brought into the world, but if I had it to do again, they would be at 10 years younger than thye are now. Children having children is not a great idea. Today my kids say that when they were little they felt we were "growing up" together. It is indeed easier to have children and raise them in the church in a stable non violent two parent family. My experiences taught me how to emerge as a leader and raise my kids. I would have made an amazing lawyer and holder of public office. As for my current marriage, my husband is indeed a good man and we are both happy with our relationship. He tells me that he was attracted to me because of my strength and leadership capabilities in the home as well as in the work force. He doesn't care for women who are dependant and leaning on him a lot. I was attracted to him for his heart and his sense of values, and the fact that he is not the controlling type, gives me my space and supports me in my decisions. We went into the marriage knowing what we wanted in a spouse and our dynamics work for us. But my question is how the church views it when the woman emerges as a leader and the man prefers it that way, (by choice of both husband and wife). We are good with it, but my question was how the church feels because there seems to be a lot of emphasis on the husband taking the lead. As for callings, I don't know if I would ever refuse a calling. Right now my calling is clerical in nature which works wonderfully for me. Many of my callings have been in the past as well such as RS, library, and teaching of older children and adults which is where my skills are. Perhaps it is something I have to work on, but I don't do well with babies and toddlers or very young children that to me are impossible to communicate with. I don't baby sit my young grandchildren either. I think we all come here with talents and it is best when we each use our God Given talents to the best of our abilities. My talents are organization, writing, clerical and interpersonal skills with teens through senior citizens. For others it is parenting. For some it is teaching, providing music, healing arts or a gamut of talents that bring joy to our time here on Earth. Using our talents to the fullness of our abilities enriches and blesses not only our lives but the lives of our families and those whose lives we touch. Struggling with tasks that are not our God Given talents can minimalize our lives and the lives of others around us by keeping us from using our talents. This may not be the best analogy, but is it not better to attend a musical event performed by talented musicans like going to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir perform with their beautiful talented voices and their obvious love for music; than it would be to sit and listen to someone trying to play chopsticks when they have no musical talent and little interest in music themselves? In any event I love my calling and it is no where near the primary and nursery, and I never mentioned this to my Bishop nor any former Bishop. So perhaps when they get a revelation regarding who to call for what calling, Heavenly Father prompts them according to what the talents of the members are and how we can best serve, (even before they know us).

Dory, I am not judging you but I hope that you at least read the advice of an older woman who has a lot of experience with marriage and divorce. First of all I urge you to read Proverbs 31: 10-31. Because I am Jewish by culture, I knew this part of poetic scripture referred to as the description of a "Woman of Valor." I actually have a beautiful parchment with these verses framed and displayed on my buffet shelf overlooking my dining room table to remind me of these virtues of being a wife. In Jewish custom, after the Sabbath meal the husband recites these lovely words in tribute to his wife so as to thank her. This is a custom that I still hold near and dear to my heart. Marriage is eternal and the purpose of marriage is much more than romantic love and personal gratification. After 32 years it is not all about feel good, someones physical and emotional and need to be happy. It is two people creating a family and working in partnership toward eternal progression. I think our modern day culture places too much emphasis on the Cinderella/Prince Charming idea, rather than showing marriage as a long term goal between two partners that made a covenant with each other. There is a huge difference beterrn "happily ever after" of the story books than the perspective of "eternal marriage." I live in an area where many of my friends are an entire generation than I am (and I am a generation older that you are). These older seniors that have been married often 60 plus years are in a phase of gratification and contentment of what they have accomplished in building a family and being through a lot both good and bad together. They are way past the romantic fantasies and their idea of LOVE is npt fulfilling romantic, emotional and physical needs. There are many ways to define love. Now, you of course have free agency and the decision you make and any consequences or blessings from the decision you make are the result of your choices. Now I will say from experience, that you will need to ask yourself what your definition of "love" and "happiness" is. Because if you do divorce hoping you will find greener pastures on the other side, you may not find it if you cannot define specifically what you are looking for. And if it is the emotional need kind of love, that may happen in the dating process but is likely to not be what is actually long term love in a marriage. I am n ot one to point a finger and tell you what is and is not a sin. But I will say that breaking the covenant of marriage is not something that should be done based on personal physical or emotional needs (of either partner). I once told my children who were raised without a father, that had we not been in physical danger, I would not have divorced their father. Unfortunately my marriage to my first husband was physically violent that even involved firearms and it made it unsafe for me or my children to live with him. I chose to remain single for 17 years until they were grown. My current husband of over 20 years is a fine man. We are not in some fairy tale romantic marriage, but we are both content in knowing that we will grow old together and hopefully progress together toward the Celestial Kingdom. Wishing you all the best.

Hi Peanutterrier, First of all I want to say I am so excited for you in your making plans to attend the Temple. Your enthusiasm is an inspiration to me and it helps me to renew in my mind the feelings when I entered the Temple for the first time, (and yes the nervousness of that first Temple recommend interview). Are you perfect. No. Perfection is something that we hope to attain some day, perhaps not in this life but through our progression. Are you Temple worthy? I think your interview will go wonderfully and the answer would then be yes. Being perfect and being worthy is not the same thing. If you are paying your full tithe, living according to the words of wisdom and the law of chastity, and if you sustain the authorities of the church; those are the basics. From there you continue to pray, read your scriptures, attend church and continue to strive to be the best you can be. And keep in mind that none of us are worthy to stand before our Heavenly Father ALONE. So that is what Jesus is for. He paid the price for us so that standing before Heavenly Father is possible. I wish you all the best in your interview. You really are at the threshold of a wonderful and amazing journey. :)

From the time I can remember having the ability to think, I have been eternally grateful for my life. I believe that EVERYTHING I was, have, everything I am, and everything I will become, comesfrom God. I am grateful for all of it and always amazed at the awesome wonders of life. Since I feel completely connected to all life, it is not just about me but all that encompasses life. God is far more awesome and vast then any of us can fathom. But I believe even on a personal level, every atom, molecule, dna, personality trait, the ability to think, reason, learn, grow (be it physically, mentally or spiritually), are all given as wonderous gifts from God. And when I think of the physical, the tiniest details are amazing. How our eyes can expand and contract and take in light, how our hearts pump nourishing blood, how our flesh heals itself from wounds, how our bodies heal themselves from serious illness and how our lungs take in air, all completely automatic without much thought on our part. What incredible design and engineering are our bodies, a gift from God. And when I think of the ability we have to learn, and our talents to create, and our feeling of ambition to ever grow and progress and become. Someone posted about being "given" money. But what is way more amazing is the inate drive , ambition, and prompting to create prosperity. How amazing is that? It can only come from God. I think we were given the gift of life before we ever got here, just as our gift of life will continue when we return from whence we came. I am grateful for every thought of it, every breath of it. Or as it is said. It's all good! :)

She won't need to be serving fries. No doubt she has already been approached by several publishers for a million dollar book deal. Of course she is already being sued by Zenaida Gonzalez who has suffeder loss of job and defamation of charactor by Casey Anthony's lies regarding her dead child being with the "Nanny" who she named as Zenaida Gonzalez. And she will also have to pay restitution for the time and work of the investigation of her "missing child."

I think it is perfectly appropriate to ask and inquire about anything at anytime you have questions. If you do ot ask, you will not learn or progress. BUT that being said there is a big difference between "asking" and "protesting" or "telling". Every question deserves answers. Not that our answers will be immediate, and they may or may not be the answers that will satisfy our inquiry. And then after we have asked auestions, studied, prayed and pondered, there may come a time when we simply need to accept the things we cannot change. Since there have been past revelations regarding many things in the church such as polygamy, the style and length of garments, and banning of balcks in the priesthool, I think it is a matter of time that we will see more changes in our lifetime that is applicable to our life today that will bring about new revelations. I think it is probable sometime in the future for women to become priesthood holders. Time will tell. Meanwhile we can ask anything to help get a clearer perspective on it. I have to say that I asked my Bishop some questions regarding some very basic gospel beliefs, and I received very enlightening answers that strengthened my faith. And there was no judgement on the part of my Bishop for asking.

Well here is my opinion for what it is worth. I would not consider it gambling because it was not intentional. I consider that a blessing that you received it much like finding a bunch of cash with no hope of finding the original owner. It was something that you gained by accident, and a little luck. What would I do with a windfall like that? Well honestly, first of all I would tithe the 10 percent, PLUS since I was inactive for almost 10 years before returning to the church (and was not doing a full tithe then), I would pay my tithe retro actively to make up the arrears with interes. The balance would go to my grand children's education fund, and to set up a special fund to help people who have medical emergency needs. There are a few people in my ward that need surgery and have no insurance that I would love to just lay out the cash and help them out. Oh and since we enjoy providing dinner for the missionaries, we would feed them REALLY REALLY good. Oh yes and by the way Funky, I am adopted so perhaps you could be my long lost rich brother????

I agree with you Vort that being critical of Israel is not in and of itself anti-semitic. And perhaps I should have posted the quote/s I was referring to above my comment. While I do agree it is counter productive to label anyone who disagrees with me; I do feel it appropriate to call someone on what I see as anti-semitic in nature. The comment that interred that the IDF are terrorists because the way they treat the Palestineans reads very anti-semitic to me. The IDF is a military force for the purpose of DEFENDING Israel. They are not terrorists and to suggest so in my opinion warrants calling it what it is.

Traveler, I guess we will have to agree to disagree here. Although I agree that forgiveness and prayer are ideal; I also firmly believe that we have a great responsibility to defend and protect the innocent, and more often than not it takes a little more than hugs, prayer and forgiveness. Offenders need to WANT to be forgiven, and they need to be willing never to be repeat offenders. This is true from child abuse, hate crimes, terrorism, war and crimes against humanity. It is nice that you could find peace and a resolution with those who indeed committed a hate crime against you. Had I been a commanding officer and knowledgeable of this I would have called for a court martial of your offenders because they committed a hate crime. Should the Jews have hugs and prayed with Adolph Hitler and his SS for slaughtering 6 million Jews? Should we have hugged and prayed with Osama Bin Laden and offered him forgiveness for the crimes committed against humanity on 9-11? For that matter should our troops (including your service in Veit Nam - and I thank you for your brave service to our Country), be asking forgiveness from the Veitnamese families who lost loved ones in that war or any war for that matter? Keep in mind that you willing went to war in Viet Nam in combat to kill other humans? War is horrible and unfortunate. But why did you do it? Because you were willing to protect and defend the citizens of your country. Could have we not just flown to Viet Nam and prayed with them. Not likely. Death is death and killing is killing. Hate crimes are very dangerous and many who commit hate crimes not only do not want forgiveness, they believe they are doing nothing wrong; and they incite and sometimes even recruit others to participate in their evil. There is very little difference to me if a child dies at thae hand of an abusive parent, a spouse dies at the hand of an abusive spouse, a man dies from an act of hate against a race, religion or Nation. I believe we have a repsonsibility to protect the innocent. If we do not, more hate continues and more crimes occur. There is a two word phrase that is spoken often by Jews in regard to the holocaust. "Never again." I believe Never Again is not in just regards to the holocaust, but to all crimes against another including abuse of a child, spouse, race, religion or Nation. We need to develop a zero tolerance for people that commit crimes of hate and murder. If we do not many people will suffer while we stand idly by. From a spiritual stand point. Does heavenly Father forgive the unrepentant? So far we have heard no remorse regarding the death of Caylee Anthony. No remorse from OJ Simpson. No remorse from Bin Laden. No remorse from Hitler. I am not saying we should NEVER have a forgiving heart. Forgiveness to those who are repentant and remorseful and have paid their debt to society is one thing. But doing nothing to protect peace loving innocents is another thing indeed.

Sigh!!!! Anti semitism is alive and well even on religious internet forums. Nothing surprises me.

I have been told that the house and "who knows what else" is part of the estate and next of kin as in grown children can contest the estate part of a will. As for life insurance, that is a contract with a named beneficary. When it comes to money from parents estates, many don't care as much about that. It is when the little memory things like journals, photo albums and personal jewelry or other such personal things are important. Decendants can make their own money, but the momentos that can be passed down are more cherished in the long run.

Awwww you are most welcome sister! I too have been around that block a few times. We all have our stories to tell. Our experiences in life make us stonger. I kind of think that our experiences have taught us many lessions in life and the greater the lessons the higher the tuition, i.e. greater challenge. I have been involved in a number of churches (and synagogues) over the years, and I agree the level of love and support of members of this church surpasses that of any other. Perhaps it is part of the "living truth" in Heavenly Fathers pan that testifies to the truth of it all.

Hi Woundedknee, Regardless of where you are in your thinking and beliefs regarding Joseph Smith, you do share something in common with him. Joseph himself was confused regarding what to believe and what was the true church. He prayed and got his answer in a most amazing way. What I am saying is at one time or another we all have doubts about something. Perhaps our questioning is how we learn and progress. When you return to church, and I believe that you will, just know you are doing this from the prompting of the spirit and it is about you and Heavenly Father more so than what the Bishop or Elders Q, or anyone thinks. I do think you will be welcome though more than you think. One thing you may want to do is invite the missionaries to visit you and talk with them and ask loads of qyestions and pray with them. In a sense since you resigned, you are indeed starting over, and this is how new investigators begin. Plus you may feel more comfortable going back to church when you have the missionaries familar faces greeting you at the door. You may even ask if the Bishop will visit you in your home. Sometimes it is more comfortable having a discussion on familair settings rather thana cross a desk. As for how long it takes? How long to what? Each day is another day in your progression. There is no set time, but just take each day at a time and enjoy the journey. My husband and I stopped being active for about 10 years. We never resigned, nor did we have issues regarding the basic beliefs of the church. Suffice it to say we moved around, and did not connect with people more our fault than anyone elses since we were getting lazy and not making the effort. Our prompting came in a random (or it seemd that way to us) visit from missionaries who had our name from the member rolls and came to visit because "they hadn't seen us in a while". You think? 10 years is indeed a while. That visit was followed up by a call from the Bishop to ask to come and visit us. We had a wonderful talk and the rest is history. We came back a few months ago and I already have been given a great calling, and am making an appointment to discuss renewing my Temple recommend, which may or may not take time, but will be worth it. Things may take longer for you because of your resignation. I'm no expert, but I am assuming this means getting baptized all over again???? If so think of it as a double blessing. Your kids and loved ones can attend and support you in all this. I would think there are many members that have qustions or uncertainties about a doctrinal issue or two. Prayer, scripture reading, and giving yourself the opportunity to interact with others that will support and help you on your journey. I cannot say if everyone will welcome you with open arms or not, but from my experiences, I believe more will welcome you than you think. Just do it! Make that first step. Call a missionary, the Bishop of your ward, or just show up on a Sunday morning and you may be amazed at the welcome and support you will feel. Just be as open and honest with others and yourself as you have been on this forum. Before you know it, you will feel like you have never been away.

Well then I too will pray for your good man. Sneaking away to get drunk is far harder to overcome I think, than an occasional social drink. I agree that if he has such a good amount of rapport and respect for the Bishop, it is wise to seek his counsel more than ever. It will be harder for you to get through to him even if this borders on addiction because since this is also your careet, you want to be sure you don't come across as his therapist, rather than his wife who loves and supports him. It can be a fine line. You will both be in my thoughts and prayers and may you both overcome this together and be sealed in the Temple and receive many wonderful blessings.

Just-A-Guy, I am wondering if you know the answer to this since you are in the legal profession. Now that Casey Anthony has been aquitted; is it correct to assume that the Department of Family Services could not intervene in any way, in the event she has another child. I am wondering if there is any kind of statute in place that in the event that she had another child, that Famiy Servies could investigate to insure the safety of a future child? I realize that aquittal does not mean necessarily innocent, and so if there was not enough evidence to convict, is she as innocent as any other parent in the eyes of the law and no jurisdiction to protect future children?

We enjoy the American Pickers and Pawn Stars shows. It amazes me what people will buy. My husband and I do garage sales and sell on eBay. I just got back from the gym tonight and checked my eBay and sold two "designer" collectable stemware glasses for $149.00. We paid $20.00 for the two of them. Cha-Ching! These profitable sales don't happen daily (sure wish they did), but it can be a fun hobby. We don't do junk yards like the shows; mostly outlet stores and garage and estate sales. Last year my husband went to a garage sale and bought 11,000 used golf balls. He paid $200.00 for them and sat in the garage and separated them into like kind lots and sold them on eBay. In the end he made over $3,000.00 on those golf balls. Oh and that same year I paid $60.00 for a huge box of over 200 thingies called "wiper wavers" they were college team banner things that you put on your back windshield. I sold them for $10.95 a piece, and after selling a couple hundred of them, a few dozen were left that I sold in my own garage sale for $50.00. eBay is still alive and well. I do agree it is not what it was 10 years ago when we started but some good sales still happen. Half the fun is hunting for inventory.

Hi Peanutterrier, I think some of this depaends on the degree of the problem your husband has. From the church stand point, drinking is against the words of wisdom and if your husband is truthful about drinking then he would not receive a Temple recommend. As for help, much depends on his degree of drinking. If it is just the stubborn streak that he wants to "have a cool one now and then" that is easier to overcome. If you have to "sober him up" that is a much bigger problem that goes beyond a cool one now and then. So the two of you will need to determine if this is just an occasional pleasure which is a habit easier to change, or if it borders on or is an addiction, which takes a far more proactive approach and often intervention. My husband and I joined years ago and we have been sealed in the Temple. I would like to go back to the Temple, but mu husband has the stubborn issue of not wanting to give up that morning cup of coffee. Addiction, no. Can he live without it, of course. But it is not up to me to change him so we can go to Temple together. I posted about this in another thread on this forum and someone posted back that I should go to Temple on my own and if in the afterlife I made it to the Celestial Kingdom and my husband does not because he won't give up the coffee, I could wind up being sealed in the afterlife to a worthy man. Soooo I shared this with my husband and said, "hmmmmmm, I wonder what my Celestial hubby will look like if you don't make it." (We share a lot of dry humor in our marriage). And he said "Well if he is a hunk, then I had better change to decaf (first step) LOL, but if he's an old bald guy, I guess I'll have another cup. What I really got from that hunor we shared, is he can change and I believe he will. I think we can let them know that this is important to us. Their change will come even if it is not our timing. Meanwhile we can love them and pray about it.

Traveler, No problem, I do not offend that easy and do not think of you as harsh and cruel. It is true you do not know me, nor I you, and so we each are entitled to our own opinions. Although, you guessed correct, I am white; and I can also tell you that I have hugged, held the hand, and advocated for a number of black women who were abused, (at some at the hand of a white abuser). Abuse is abuse and it matters not if the abused or the abuser has light or dark skin. OJ Simpson was an abuser. Were there witnesses to the murder of his wife Nicole and Mr Goldman? Again rarely are there witnesses to murder. We may never know but we do know that he had abused in the past and that is a fact of record. At the VERY LEAST the man was a violent offender and his color of skin has absolutely nothing to do with that fact. The Simpson trial was a media circus not because of his color rather his celebrity. Regarding Casey Anthony, is she guilty of murder? Apparently not according to our judicial system and the amount of evidence presented. But that said, she should have been found guilty of abuse. It is a fact that she did not report her child missing for over a month. Pure common sense would show that this alone is endangerment to a two year old child. We have Amber Alert and many options to find missing children when it is reported. Not reporting her missing endangered the child, (assuming she was still alive at the time she actually went missing), which is abuse. Murder? We may never know. But the entire family seems very dysfunctional, and they need therapy which I hope at least the judge will order long term. If another child is born into that family without serious healing, then another child can be at risk. Do I bear a burden of this? Yes I do and frankly I do not see that as all negative. I grew up in a time when both child abuse and spousal abuse were not even against the law. And I was indeed a victim of both child and spousal abuse and (none of my abusers were black). The experiences that I had years ago, made me very aware that bearing a burden to help change the system and lobby for laws to protect the innocent as well as provide safe havens for the abused. Many changes have occurred to portect others because many stood up to bear the burden, and it is far from a waste of precious time. It is truly a labor of love, and indeed whatever I can do to help just a little is very satisfying.

Well I cannot speak for Heavenly Father but children are a gift from God and they are entrusted into the care of the parents. The unknown Daddy is no where to be found and the mother does not report her missing child to the police for over a month, (and only then when her mother pushed the issue). I personally believe that atonement involves confession not only to God but to those that were in any way hurt by the sin, (which in this case is a huge community of people), and then a promise and fulfillment of that promise not to do it again. Just as a footnote, I often wonder what degrees of sin are of most importance to heavenly Father. In other words is murder worse than something else. To me it is but I am not the writer of the rules. To me a life is precious and to be cherished. It is the ultimate gift here on earth and for anyone to take another life is the worst form of sin. So many talk about how sinful it is to disobey the law of chastity (as in an adolescent mastrubating etc), but murder is just way over the top and personally I would find it hard to imagine that one could just pray for forgiveness and then move on.

I know you are right of course (Just-A-Guy and Traveler) but it is just so hard to accept at times. I know a few with narcisstic behavior that remind me a LOT of Casey Anthony and people like this do not often ever feel accountable or guilty of anything. It is as if they are completely void of conscience. What makes it difficult is that there are VERY rerely eye witnesses to murder. People who commit murder don't tend to commit their acts in public view so it makes it hard to convict. OJ is a different story. Loads of money and a lot of politics involved. I son't believe he is innocent for a moment and neither did those when he was tried in a civil case. But what is really sad is Casey Anthony may very well go out hand have another child or two and I feel so bad for them it is beyond words. And in the slightest possibility that she did not kill her child, she is certainly an irresponsible mother since he never reported her child missing for over a month. Some people should never have children.

Thank you all for the insight you have given me. And Classy Lady thank you for such detailed answers as it really is helping me put things into perspective. My husband is indeed a very good man and a wonderful husband so no complaints on that front. Although there are times when I wish he would play a greater role in leadership and decision making, the plus side is that I never feel controlled or opressed by him and he is always supportive of all that I do. This issue is more about me and the views of the church. There is that saying people in their 60's and older say.... "If I knew now what I knew today, I would have......" Looking back on my life I have managed a number of accomplishments much fraught with struggles, but pleased with some of what by the grace of God I managed to accomplish. I did fall short by not going even further in my education, and my thirst for knowledge and accomplishment has bee a big deal to me. I didn't begin college until I was in my mid thirties and did not go on to graduate school. I am very happily married now for over 20 years, and I love my children and grandchildren, but if I had to do it over again, I would have done many things differently, and those things would have not been what the church's views would have been for me. I would have not married at age 18 and 1/2 and had my first child by 20 and not have even begun a college education. I would have pursued a career after obtaining a graduate degree in law and politics, and I would not have had my first child until a minimum of my very late twenties to mid thirties when I was much more emotionally and spiritually, and yes financially prepared to do so; (although the emotional and spiritual part would have been most important). I would have had the opportunity to meet and marry someone that I felt connected to on all levels, emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually. My first marriage and father of my children fell VERY short of this criteria and the result was alcoholism and abuse on his part and a very bitter divorce and children being raised without a father and supported in full by a non-educated financially struggling mother who saw little of the kids because of long hours of working just to feed and clothe them. I was not brought up in the church, and I never had a set of parents that knew how to be parents so my frame of lreference, coupled with my youth and lack of maturity makes a huge difference in the desires of my heart and my spirit. Holding leadership roles is important to me and a part of my very identity. We all come here with personalities and spirits that give us the drive to become our very best. I just know in my heart that my very best is not to just have babies and be a stay at home mom and have a man make decisions for me. Although I never had that, I doubt I ever wanted it either. Sooooo, when I think of the hereafter, I think of progression. I would hope that I would progress to gain higher degrees of wisdom and obtain higher accomplishments and roles of leadership. Not every person desires this. Even here on earth, there are men like my beloved husband that is happy having someone else have the opening prayers, teach the classes and not have to bee "too involved" in anything. No problem with that. I love my husband for who he is. But in this life and the one to come I want to be the leader and the one who progresses to the heighest realms that I can become worthy of even if my husband is just ok with kicking back and chilling out. My concern is that although I have no problem with having kids (I did my contribution of two and do not want more in this life or the next); I don't want to be held back by my husband or family members that just don't see progression as important as I do. Hopefully this will all work out some day. Thanks again for all the comments. It gives me things to ponder and pray about. Meanwhile I hope not to get a calling for nursery or primary. I just don't have the skill nor the patience to deal with the little ones as cute as they can be.