Gwen

not sure if i'm the only one making this distinction, but what i like about the being a part of the chruch (vs. what i like about the gospel/doctrines) would be the member involvment. the skills learned outside of the doctrines learned are invaluable. the opportunities as children to make decisions, to do public speaking, share your thoughts and experiances in classess. i like that we don't just sit there. we are all a part of things. no matter where you go things are similar enough that you can take part even if you are a visitor. there are few surprises in that respect. when i was rs pres one suday i was late. very late. given circumstances at the time i was to be conducting, and teaching the lesson. we have rs first so my being late was a big problem. there was no one else "called" to officially step up when i was out. i arrived expecting everyone to be upset at me and just sitting around talking. the highcounselman was visiting and his wife had come with him. i walked in to the lesson in progress. after a few min they decided that something must have come up that was unavoidable, without hard feelings, they began picking out songs, the highcounselman's wife cunducted the meeting, they had a prayer and all opened their books and started discussing the lesson. not a beat was missed. i had to sit back and smile, had our roles been reversed i would have done the same for her. what other chruch works that way? what other chruch trains it's ppl that way? where else can you go to a meeting not of your usual attendace and have the oportunity to step up and lead? maybe there are others and i have yet to see them, but it is something i truely love about our chruch. another example, i had the primary pres tell me she was so impressed that one sunday we got there before her (doesn't usually happen, again primary and such are first) and she came in to find the kids had gotten all the chairs out and arranged them in the order she liked them and were sitting there waiting on her. i had just sent them to primary, didn't even realize she was 5 min behind us. even if the chruch wasn't true, i find those skills that are fostered to be an amazing oportunity. public speaking, doing your part, finding the needs around you and meeting them, being proactive, involved and leading when necessary. also skills of following and defering to those who are called to lead. all these skills are important when entering the adult world. i think that is awsome.

so guess what. lol the mission pres and his wife were scheduled to speak in our branch today. i didn't know till i got there and was told that when they arried (maybe 5 min before i got there) they said they wanted to teach a combined priesthood / rs meeting. lol sigh, i guess the lesson wasn't for them anyway.

no this isn't more of my rant on how angry i am, but i did come across this article while working through that. lol it reminded me of all the gun carrying talk we had here some time ago. i by no means want to ressurect all that debate, but thought this article was great and wanted to share. so yes it's long. Larry A. Hiller, “Somebody’s Going to Get Hurt!,” New Era, Sep 1997, 40 Violence seems to be all around. Are you setting yourself up to become a victim? Violence is a hot topic these days. But one aspect doesn’t get discussed much. It’s an aspect of violence that can affect us no matter where we live—from the inner city to the countryside. We are all exposed to violence through the media, and that exposure promotes dangerous attitudes that can harm us whether or not we are ever physically exposed to violence itself. Can’t you almost hear your mother’s voice? You were playing too rough, or in a dangerous place, and you heard the warning from the doorway: “Somebody’s going to get hurt!” Now you look around and see a world that seems to be filled with violence. People are getting hurt, and you don’t want to be one of them. But how do you avoid it? When you were sword fighting with sharp sticks, or walking the edge of the garage roof, it was easy to avoid the danger. You just stopped what you were doing. But now, it seems as if danger can seek you out. You may even feel threatened, knowing that there are people in the world who do bad things to other people. The obvious threat is physical. Face it, violence hurts. We have these physical bodies that can suffer injury and pain—even death. And we want to avoid those things—and the bullies and gangsters and muggers, etc., who might hurt us. But there is also a hidden danger. It comes from the fact that we are also spirits. And there are ways in which violence can injure us spiritually. To understand why, we need to take a quick look at history. Cain’s Mutiny When Cain killed Abel, it was the first recorded act of violence in human history (see Moses 5:13–33). And Cain didn’t do it only because he was impulsive, or because he was jealous. Cain loved Satan more than God (Moses 5:28), and when Satan tempted him to kill, he did (Moses 5:29, 32). As time went on, the scriptures tell us, “Satan had great dominion among men, and raged in their hearts; and from thenceforth came wars and bloodshed” (Moses 6:15). Finally, when the Lord spoke to Noah just before the flood, He said, “The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence” (Gen. 6:13; italics added). The Lord seems to use that one word to sum up all of the wickedness. In fact, throughout scripture, the word violence is associated with wickedness. So, violence can harm us spiritually because it is essentially Satan’s tool. It is the opposite of the Savior’s gospel of peace. Now, because violence is so obviously wrong, Satan doesn’t have much chance of getting most people to go around killing and maiming. That’s why you could argue—and maybe you have—that seeing violence in movies isn’t going to make you take a gun and go on a rampage. But suppose Satan could persuade you to believe lies and myths about violence. Suppose he could make violence seem even more common than it is. And suppose he could portray it vividly in books and on the screen so that you become desensitized. What if he could bend your attitudes so you might react in the wrong way in a pressure situation, where you don’t have time to think things over? Then suppose Satan could tempt you to get into one of those situations. In fact, those are precisely some of the myths and methods he uses. Have you been affected? Let’s look at some of those dangerous myths about violence. Then you can decide for yourself. Self-Defense We need to be absolutely clear that there is such a thing as justified self-defense. You have the right to protect yourself against physical harm if you are attacked. You have a right to use physical force to protect virtue, family, freedom. But— One of the lessons we learn from men like Nephi, Moroni, and Mormon is that the righteous only fight as a last resort. They do it reluctantly and never enjoy fighting. (See Alma 46:11, for example.) That great fighter Ammon? The Nephites urged him, “Let us take up arms against [the Lamanites] that we destroy them and their iniquity out of the land, lest they overrun us and destroy us” (Alma 26:25). In other words, “Hey, enough’s enough. Let’s get ’em before they attack us again.” But what did Ammon do instead? He went on a mission to the Lamanites. He preached the gospel, while the Lamanites spit on him, and stoned him, and threw him in prison. Good Guy vs. Bad Guy One of the biggest myths about violence is that “good guys” can use violence against the bad guys casually, with no regrets. This myth is taught in every action adventure movie on the screen today. The hero—let’s call him Arnie Sly—blows away one bad guy after another, steps over the bodies, and goes to lunch as though nothing had happened. The truth is this: Even police officers who have had to kill a criminal in the line of duty may struggle with their feelings afterward. According to Sergeant Jim Faraone, a 20-year veteran with the Salt Lake City Police Department, “It is hard on a person emotionally.” In fact, he says, “we’d be concerned if it didn’t affect them. They are going to see it again in their sleep, and play it over and over again [in their mind]. I think many officers probably put themselves in greater jeopardy, realizing the finality of letting a bullet go. It could not be a casual thing.” A person who can casually take the life of another—even that of a violent criminal—is not the kind of person you want on your police force. And it is not the kind of person a follower of Christ would want to be. Real Life Consider the experience of Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve. Some years ago, Elder Oaks was living in Chicago when one night he was confronted by a young robber with a gun. Elder Oaks had no money to give him, no watch, nothing of value except his car—and his wife was in the car. Both Elder Oaks and his wife were at great risk. During the encounter, Elder Oaks had an opportunity to grab the gun without the likelihood of being shot. “I was taller and heavier than this young man,” Elder Oaks explains, “and at that time of my life was somewhat athletic. I had no doubt that I could prevail in a quick wrestling match if I could get his gun out of the contest. “Just as I was about to make my move, I had a unique experience. I did not see anything or hear anything, but I knew something. I knew what would happen if I grabbed that gun. We would struggle, and I would turn the gun into that young man’s chest. It would fire, and he would die. I also knew that I must not have the blood of that young man on my conscience for the rest of my life.” (See New Era, Mar. 1994, 4.) Armed and Dangerous How should you react in a similar situation? Who knows? It would be a different time, a different robber, a different place. The point is that Elder Oaks had not conditioned himself to automatically react violently. But he had conditioned himself to listening to the still, small voice. So when the idea of grabbing the gun came to him, he was willing and able to be guided by the Spirit. It’s also important to note that Elder Oaks had ended up in a dangerous area because he and his wife were taking another sister home from a Church activity. He certainly wasn’t looking for trouble. He had taken reasonable precautions, such as leaving Sister Oaks in a locked car and later making sure the street was clear before going back out to the car. But Satan promotes a very different kind of attitude—the idea that protection comes from having bigger muscles, faster fists, maybe even a weapon. Go wherever you want, because anybody who messes with you will pay the price. The scriptures call it putting your trust in the “arm of flesh.” And it can lead you into the very violence you wanted to avoid in the first place. Take the case of a gang member, “Steven,” who talks about carrying a gun: “You feel like you’re on top. You think that, like, if you had this gun and somebody else had one, you’d think you could take him on, no matter what.” Would Steven use the gun? “If I had to,” he says. Would he be the first one to shoot? “If I had it, I’d probably be the first one to do it.” A bad and dangerous attitude? Of course. But it’s not limited to gang members. There’s the experience of author Geoffrey Canada, who grew up in a violent neighborhood in New York’s South Bronx. As he reached college age, he saw the increasing viciousness of the gangs in his area. Out of fear, he bought a gun. He describes the feeling of power it gave him, a feeling that would cause his behavior to “become more and more reckless every day. … I knew that if I continued to carry the gun I would sooner or later pull the trigger.” He got rid of the gun. Guns are an extreme example. Most places have strict laws about carrying weapons, and you don’t want to break those laws. But that same “don’t mess with me” attitude can extend to things like being trained in the martial arts. There’s nothing wrong with the training itself. The danger comes when people develop an “attitude,” when they place their trust in themselves and their abilities. If you let cockiness lead you into dangerous situations you could have avoided, can you be receptive to the Spirit as Elder Oaks was? Self- and Dis- Respect One of the most dangerous myths is that you must respond with violence if someone insults you. This attitude is straight from the Middle Ages: “You have insulted me. My honor demands satisfaction. Choose your weapon and meet me at dawn.” (Say it with a thick foreign accent, like from some old movie, and you get an even better sense of how ridiculous it is.) Talk about a twisted sense of honor! Nothing could be further from the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Savior taught us to be meek, to turn the other cheek. “Love your enemies,” he said, “bless them that curse you” (Matt. 5:44). The Son of God was mocked, struck, spat upon, and he bore it with silent majesty. We as sons and daughters of God can surely overlook insults. True honor comes from honoring the covenants we have made at baptism to follow in his footsteps. It’s Not Natural There is another dangerous myth about violence. Some people claim that we have a genetic tendency toward violence that comes from animal ancestors. The truth is that our ancestors were Adam and Eve. We are also spirit children of God, with agency, the ability to choose how we will act. We have the capacity to control our emotions—including anger. It is not true that some people have such naturally hot tempers that they just can’t help themselves. If you had enough bread to go with that much baloney, you could open a bakery. Anger doesn’t justify violence any more than driving drunk excuses hitting someone with a car. Protecting Yourself Violence has been a problem in the world since the time of Cain. And it seems to be increasing as the end time approaches. You become part of the problem if you fall for one of Satan’s lies. You become part of the solution by living—and spreading—the gospel of Jesus Christ. The greatest danger from violence is the spiritual harm that comes from getting involved with it. And getting involved with violence means more than physically getting into a fight. It also includes a diet of violence in your entertainment—movies, TV, reading materials, and even music. The things you put into your mind shape your attitudes and condition the way you will behave in a stressful situation. Your real protection is spiritual also. It comes from living in such a way that you can be guided by the Spirit, as Elder Oaks was. “Peace I leave with you,” the Savior said, “my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). That kind of peace does not come from being tougher, stronger, better armed. And it is difficult to find if our minds are constantly filled with violent images from movies, video games, or music. But that peace is there for everyone who will follow the Savior.

Since I have the same propensity at times I thought I'd have a little fun with you and bring the lesson right to you. You can run but you can't hide. So what about the healing power of forgiveness everyone? lol, thanks rosie, but i am only just seeing this because i did get to work. it was time to cook dinner. hahaha.....but i did eventually get to the lesson. still don't have the lesson for the sisters, but i think i'm finding the lesson for me (which i'm sure is far from over). they may have to suffer through what i needed if i run out of time. sigh, pray for the sisters. lol so, what i've been learning.... i'm still looking for the quote, but i recall a talk or ensign article that talked about the difference between acting and reacting. i keep comming back to that, if anyone finds it let me know. anyway. i've never really thought about the feeling of anger, i've felt what i would call true anger 3 times in my life. the first i can't remember, though i should i was 12, but my mom was there the second time and said she had only seen that expresson on my face once before and told me the story. and boy do a lot of things make since knowing about it. the third would be this last week, the feelings have come and gone, but i do catorgorize them all as one experiance, all the same catylist, ongoing event. i've been reflecting upon what anger is, for me more than anything, but in general as well. it's an odd emotion. serves a great purpose. and yet, it can and will destroy you if given the chance. i think my anger this time has become so great because i wasn't dealing with (acting on) the situation but feeling (reacting to) the situation. when i started listing everyone i was angry at, and trying to decide what i was angry at them for. what specifically did they do? does this merrit the level of anger i am feeling toward them? that kind of thing. i discovered how much of that anger was displaced. i wanted to make things right, not hurt anyone or make them pay, not retribution, but make it just, make it right. mercy can't rob justice right? lol there in lies the trap. the anger was such that i was ready to force things to be made right if needs be. the more i thought on what needed to be forced to justice; the easier it was to start drifting over the line, into retribution. so i've begun making a good list of what needs to be done, what i can do, and i'm trying to focus on what i can do, after that it needs to be let go; put in gods hands; whatever comes of it. ok so i know this is a lot easier to write than to actually do; it will be a challenge. knowing me, if i make the decision now, i should be able to do it, with some concious effort. what i'm experiancing now is the culmination (i hope, but may be just a step on the road) of events that have been going on for over a yr. there is someone in my family's life that a little over a yr ago said if you don't do x for me (x was something good since wouldn't allow to be done) then we will destroy you, we will make you hurt, we will make you pay (monitary and otherwise), we will destroy your family. very angery and bitter ppl i desire to be nothing like. i can see in them how anger will run your life, rob you of happiness, how it becomes all you can think about. how it destroys. what has been going on the past week and i'm sure will continue to evolve over the next few weeks, is part of these efforts to destroy us. if i allow myself to be angry, allow this to cause contention between my husband and i, to let myself get angry with my chruch leaders for not taking the action that i think they could and should, all the things that are/were happening; they win. they have done just what they promised. and i let them. the odd reality is no matter what they promised and what they do; the only one that can destroy my life is me. just as jesus when tempted by satan was given promises of the world, the world wasn't satan's to give, it was an empty promise; like every promise satan has ever made. it was an empty threat/promise. no one has power to destroy me but me. i have to let them. they have been winning this last week because i let them. no more. i don't hate them. i don't want them to hurt. i don't want retribution. i will seek justice, if justice is not served after all that is in my power to see to it, i will let it go. i will not hate those that i feel have failed to bring about justice. i'm sure i will mourn the temporary victory of satan, and it will take time and be a struggle. but i know i can, and i'm deciding now that i will. i will try to remember the words of my son in his prayer for our family. in the end it will be right. from the talk by pres. faust; i was assigned: Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships: "Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves." thanks to those that care (and the ones that could care less and are not saying it) for letting me name my feelings here. not sure how much of the above makes since, it does to me, guess that's all that is important. now to figure out what to say in rs and make it make since. lol

lol so busted , thank you for the laugh rosie, i needed it

hahahahaha, ok so i'm really not laughing.....guess what. i was asked last sunday to teach the rs lesson this comming sunday. i said yes. i was given a talk on integrity to teach from, then they called and said they had given me the wrong one, i wrote down the new one and thought little about it with all the other things going on. the few moments i thought about it i was thinking integrity, forgot about the change. so i'm finally able to sit and work on it. lol so i take out the paper with the assignment on it. has the talk on integrity crossed out (that's when i recall they changed it) and the new assignment on .....................drum roll.............. the healing power of forgiveness..........lol ok not really funny, but kinda, i guess that i can see the humor suggests i'm ready to read it. how did the lord know i would need this this week? lol how can i be so dumb as to ask that? and i'm sharing with yall to avoid reading it and preparing my lesson. lol.............................ok so time to get to work. i am so glad this week is over. next week can't be worse can it? things aren't at a conclusion yet so i guess the possibility is always there, sigh

just a thought, but have you prayed as to why being around her makes you feel sick? maybe there is another reason you need to be worried about this woman other than the obvious. maybe she isn't as christian as she seems or they don't have as much money as they seem and she is going to scam you or hurt your family in some other way. not making accusations against this woman, i don't know her. but the lord may be waring you and you are just way off track as to why or from what. i'd put a lot of prayer into it; find out what the lord wants me to do, or ask him to make it go away.

i remember a song kinda like that in school. lol about a cat that always came back, but not quite so gruesome. can't remember many of the words, i know he shipped the cat off to some forign land, and sent it out to sea and what not. lol i had forgotten about it.

i've heard of there being other giants. however the issue of them being the product of "Angels and Men being together that Giants were formed" is something i've never heard. i assume this statment is refering to a procreative union between an angel and men. that being the case i wouldn't give it much thought. i guess the biggest question is how do you define angel? if angels are a different "species" as i've been told by some non lds friends before, then i guess they could be with "humans". however, my understanding of angels is that they are ppl that have been on the earth, just like you and i, who are on an errand from the lord. thus ppl here can at times be angels. you do something at the lords request that is very meaningful to another person they might call you an angel. but the true since of angel as i see it is one who has already passed and is litterly comming in behalf of the lord. like the angel moroni helping joseph smith recieve the gold plates. with that understanding, not sure they could, but why would an angel and a "human" have a procrative union? that just makes no since to me. not to mention if they were worthy to be on errands from god, then they themselves must be good, thus they would not violate such sacred laws reguarding such secred acts. the idea of an "angel" (as another species) and a human creating a giant, somewhat reminds me of my classes in greek and roman mythology. not that i retained all that much but i recall stories filled with gods (who were a different species than ppl) having all these sinful human emotions of lust and jealousy, and comming down off the mount to "be with" mortals and some crazy quasi something being born; often there was some other god angry about this and then some curse followed........just a mixed up mess that leaves me with little reason to have faith in such ideas. why follow a god that is living a soap opra themselves? i understand those that did believe it and how they would laugh at my beliefs and i respect their faith as i respect any other. just what came to mind and the impression it leaves me with. my 2 cents though probably worth less (but not worthless, i'm sure there is something of value in there). lol

i'm not mad at anyone here. lol that's why i came here with my issue. felt safe. thanks for the support yall, it's nice to come here and think it through, or just be distracted if i want.

i only just saw this post. a lot of candure there. i think it is good that your friend cares about her brother, and wants to and can help be a lookout for him. starting conversations is good. sometimes brothers and sisters can talk about things they won't discuss with mom and dad. what is wrong with being that candid with dad? something along the lines of look dad, i hear what teen guys are saying these days, i am comming to understand the struggles they face with the media bombardment. i'm worried about my brother, these ads you let us see aren't helping. our home should be safe from the mess of the world, a place where our minds can be clean and not attacked like they are when we leave. sometimes god corrects the parents through their children. i was corrected by my 6 yr old just the other day lol. being concerned about this issue is important. however, it shouldn't become a depressive or obsessive thing in life. i would also suggest for any teen that doesn't have it to find an adult you can trust. one that will talk about such things (many especially the older ones are afraid to), not in a worldly way but in a real way. so many church leaders just say "it's a sin" and try to make you afraid of such things. there is so much more to the sacredness. the offensive nature of the things the world is propogating as good is much deeper than i can recall it ever being discussed among my parents or my leaders. ppl seem afraid of the topic or disrespectful to it. that doen't help those that are trying to figure it all out. find someone if you can who will talk about things with you (not in a crude way). many adults won't start the conversation, not even with their children. sometimes it's up to the kids to say, hey mom, dad, i want to talk with you about this. don't wait for them to come to you, they may not even know it's on your mind. memorizing a scripture you can think of when you find your mind on anything you do not want to be thinking about is a good idea. that can be a great tool for refocusing your attention. hope that helped somehow.

lol my mom has always told me i was her only child she feared if i rebeled. that i could be the sweetest of all but when i'd had enough i could be just as extream on the other end. said she would pray every day that i chose the right and good, cus god help us if i didn't. i do worry about my feelings of anger. i should. i am constantly aware of how much they could rule me if i don't pay attention to it. i've had my ability to harbor hard feelings aknowledged and cautioned against in many blessings. part of why i started the topic. i've never felt so close to feeling out of control with it before. but i can say i'm good at the moment. i feel like i have gotten control of it. i'm not being run by it at the moment. as i've pondered the last few days i have decided that the majority of the portion of my anger directed at my stake leaders was misdirected. yes i think there is still an issue to discuss, but the root of my anger was not caused by their actions. now it is being properly directed at the person/s who have caused this situation. and i am slowly figuring out ways to positively direct it. i have never been so tested with this. i am trying to keep things in check to know that my actions are positive good changes in response to the situation vs. going on a vendeta to repay for what has been done. fine line sometimes.

enough is never enough ............we start back from square one

i forgot lol that rice cereal and such, mine would never eat it plain. for the very first feedings i would put some cereal in the bowl add a small spoonfull of apple sauce or small amt of fruit juice, then add the water or milk to the consistancy i wanted. added that bit of flavor. didn't take long before they moved past the rice to just eating the foods.

http://www.gerber.com/promos/fpidea?ideaid...amp;promoid=346 http://www.gerber.com/fptimeline i love gerber's rediness tips and such. don't believe everything they say, they are obviously selling a product. one tip from my kids dr that i found helpful was when starting and looking for allergies, feed them what you eat. don't go to the store and get crazy vegies and things you've never tasted. it's ok if the goal is to expose them to new things, but odds are they will tolerate what you tolerate, in terms of being concerned for allergies. once eating well i fed my kids from the table (modified versions of it anyway lol). i did buy jars of baby food and such for when we were traveling, at chruch or visiting other ppls homes and i didn't know what would be avaliable, and for those odd feedings when the baby got hungry and it wasn't meal time. saved me a lot of stress and work that way. i must say though, gerber has a strawberry, apple sauce that is wonderful. if they sold it in big jars i would eat it and feed it to all my kids. much better than regular apple sauce. sometimes i wonder why they don't, if it is so healthy, and older kids would eat it why not. anyway lol

sometimes the lord speaks to us in the oddest of ways. my 6 yr old said the prayer for dinner last night. in his prayer he said, "and help us to always remember that sometimes things aren't right when they should be, but in the end they will always be right" so sweet, so inocent, so tender, such a kick in the rear. i'm not so mad today. feeling a lot of things, lacking the faith i know i should have, but the anger is subsiding.

never mind i found it. getting ready for bed you worry if the cat has water, and then fill it when it doesn't, all the while braving the evil skunk.........hummm......but ....... i know it's the kids, you don't take care of it. not your cat

ok wait a min. i'm confused. i thought there was a whole skunk incident or something like that from another topic while you were letting the cat out. i'm sure i'm remembering wrong, you would know better than i. but if i'm not... isn't that taking care of the cat that you don't take care of?

thanks again rosie. sf i know you have a lot going on in your world, thanks. i'm starting to find some other emotions. think about it some rather than just being mad. like the sand in the lake comparison. i very much feel like that at the moment. i know some ppl that have gotten angry and stayed that way. never became anything more productive than to keep stirring the sand. their lives revolve around it. i don't want to become that. i know it can be a catylist for change and things to happen but i've never felt so close to the line as i did last night. i feel more in control of me this afternoon. xhenli, i looked up the info on the movie, not heard of it before. looks good, i could probably use a movie at the moment.

not something i think i have the time nor is it appropriate to rehash here. it is in reguards to some stake leadership (anyone who knows me knows i usually defend when others start attacking leadership and have commented on how wonderful of leadership we have always had). my husband commented that i was to quick to "judge" the leadership and that my anger was going to lead me to personal apostacy. i have to ask myself if he is right, have i crossed a line. though i do not think his statments are entirely fair or accurate. i critisize and analize myself more than i do anyone. when it comes to conflict i have given and do give many many chances and benifits of the doubt to everyone. but when i draw my line in the sand i have a tendency to fill it with concreat. rosie, thank you for your thoughts. sleeping has toned down the intensity of my feelings for the moment, but i still have a lot to figure out.

Rascal Flatts - Stand Chorus Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you’re made of You might bend ‘til you break Cause it’s all you can take On your knees you look up Decide you’ve had enough You get mad, you get strong Wipe your hands, shake it off Then you stand, then you stand http://www.hit-country-music-lyrics.com/Ra...and-Lyrics.html i'm angry. more angry than i think i've ever been. i've been hurt, scared, a lot of things. this feels like pure anger, i can't find the other emotions. where are they? something, anything, i need another emotion right now, something else to focus on. where is the line between the good anger, that makes you stand, and the anger that makes you damed? how do you not cross it if you can find it? how do you get back to the proper side of it if you have? is there good anger? can you have rightous anger? i want to feel something other than what i do right now.

sorry i just saw this. loli saw a portion of the quote in the movie akeelah and the bee and loved it so i looked it up. this is what i found..... * Factual errors: The plaque on the wall in Dr. Larabee's office, which he makes Akeelah read, wrongly attributes the quote to Nelson Mandela's 1994 inaugural speech. This is a common mistake, but Nelson Mandela has never used that quote in any of his published speeches. The quote is from Marianne Williamson an American spiritual activist. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0437800/goofs so then i started searching her and found the rest of the quote

3 months ago it was a 15 year old girl in sweden that did that. I think women are more common only cause thy can have sex when and with who they want. i've heard of teen girls here getting infected and then out of anger saying they try to spred it. i think it is sad that the men get bigger publicity for it. my theory is for a couple of reasons. one, men have a greater precentage chance of spreading it to a woman than a woman to man (at least what i've been tought in school lol) so his actions are of greater concern statitically. two, there may be more women doing that, well, cause women are vendictive, hold grudges, and can be very bitter if they want to. more likely to seek retribution upon an entire gender rather than one man. if they engage in such behavior reguardless of how many the infect they should be charged the same, if no one was infected but the intent to spread it was there she should be charged with the attepting

as long as the tests and such go both ways without offense. you taking the tests for her? lolas for as the topic question. yes i think he is a murderer. anyone who knows they have hiv and then have unportected sex, and do not disclose this prior, to ther other person is making a concious choice to risk the other persons life. the fact that he prayed upon teen girls (knowing they are more vunruable and less likely to stand up for their rights to at least use protection if nothing else) only makes him that much more calculated and guilty in my opinion. yes if ppl are going to be foolish enough to have indescriminate relations without precations they take that risk and hold some of the accountability. but i think they will be living with the consequenses for that choice for much longer than they should, they shouldn't be blamed for the crime as well. he knew what he was doing. if he didn't know before that he was infected then he might have a defense of ignorance. just as the girls and it's an event of unfortunate circumstanses and dumb choices. you also have to consider all the ppl she slept with later (if she is sleeping with this guy there are probably others) and who they slept with. such a person is worse than the terrorists, and should be treated as someone attempting to spread mass distruction and desiese.

ok, so i'll admit i've not read every word here. my opinion anyway, sexual sin is sexual sin. there is no sin in sexual desire, only that in participating in sacred acts without proper covenants/commitments. i get very annoyed when i hear ppl comparing homosexuality to murder or such. it is not comparable. it is comparable to fornication, adultry, cohabitation, and any other sexual sin. fornicators are accepted and encouraged to come to chruch. as should those with homosexual feelings. i've not had homosexual feelings so i will not say you can control the feelings, i know how uncontrolable my heterosexual feelings seem. but you can control if you act on them, we must all face that challenge.