Gwen

i think i'm gonna go with pc on this one. though what he did was wrong, and no excuses for it. his wife should be told. but he did not (assuming the whole story; no offense intended) have a full blown affair. i think the offence though great is forgivable. sounds like he took measures to make sure it didn't happen again, that is admerable. i think he should tell her in a way that will be healing not distructive. if i had something like that to tell hubby or reversed, i wouldn't want it to be at 10pm getting ready for bed, oh by the way......................, a fight would definatly erupt to add salt to the wound. in a counseling environment or even a bishop (at minimum) who has discussed it and understands where the offender is comming from and there to help explain and heal is far better. but don't expect it to be a fast healing, but could at least be possible.

i'll see what i can find about that, thank you. i've been washing the area and putting disinfectant down, guess that's not it. lol

speaking of light bulbs.........about a week ago i broke one of those new ones, i read in one of these topics awhile back that they have mercury in them. it was one in the bathroom, it was over the sink, it broke in my hand (but didn't cut me). i threw it in the trash can, washed my hands and then put my contacts in. then informed my husband if i went crazy he knew what to tell the docs to look for. so for all of yall who were worried about the lightbulbs. i'm not crazy yet..........i think......someone would let me know right?

my boy's kitten, it has been great. so good with the kids, calm when they pick her up, no scratching. couldn't have asked for more.........but. she can't learn to go outside. i make sure she gets out alot, so she has plenty of chances. she likes being outside most of the day. i will not have a litter box, had cats before that knew how to go outside so this is something they can learn. but this kitten decided that under my bed is the place to poo. i have my boy (his cat), clean it up (he has been great and dedicated in this). we get the cat show it to her (not scrub her nose in it as my father did to ours, he'd do that and then throw them out), pick it up, take the poo and the cat outside where we want her to go, drop the poo and show it to her again, and then leave her out for at least an hour. some nights she is out all night, and i think surely she has gone, she comes in, eats and then runs to my room to poo. ??????? i end up spending the morning watching her, the second she is done eating hurry and put her out. does anyone have ideas on how to teach her to go outside?

Ditto let's not be sexist here, i very much thought he looked something like my husband's ex. however her husband is pretty bad............ ............ she did once call hubby the spawn of satan it's all so confusing

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson from "A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles" “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

that's funny

i'm so sorry to hear that yedi. there is no excuse for what happened to your son. there is nothing i can say that will make it hurt less. i'm sorry this has happened. ppl don't always practice what they preach. all i can say is the doctrines and ordinances are compleatly seperate from the ppl. keep strong and keep saying something, let them know however many times you need to that they dropped the ball. can't be an agent of change if you aren't there, if you won't speak up. again i am so sorry to hear that this has happened.

ok so this is of absolutely no help to the question at hand. but i'm gonna share it anyway. lol every unit i've been in always has the primary kids sing "daddy's homecoming" for father's day. this is my mommy's version. i'm so glad when daddy comes home, glad as i can be. clap my hands and shout for joy, and then i grab my keys. out the door and in the car i wave good bye like this. toot the horn and blow him what? a great big kiss.

i think the no musical instruments has become an across the board, i know most of guys that have come here and left from here have all said the same thing on that, no. i believe it's not just a time thing but also a space thing. they can only carry so much from location to location. i do believe they are encouraged to share their talents when they can, playing piano in sacrament meeting, building relationships with the members and investigators who also have that talket or interest (and have the instrument in the home already). i know it is very specific as to what kind of music they can listen to. so if the ipod is allowed check on what kind of music. just because it's wonderful uplifting music doesn't mean it's on the list of approved music. hummmm i wonder if harmonicas are allowed?

"Though we adore men individually We agree that as a group they're rather stupid" from "Sister Suffragette" (song) in mary poppins

i never thought you were degrading or thinking less of anyone. i don't think anyone is trying to attack or offend. but you ask for advice to imporve something ppl are going to start picking it apart to figure out what's wrong to fix it. i have never supported the statment that any two good members could make a marriage work. i understand the statment compleatly and agree with the principle, but i think that will only work in a time when the two ppl are almost perfect, not something i suggest trying for the fun of it in our day and time. something to consider is the different kinds of spirituality. not levels, kinds. we all have different gifts. i only recently realized that my way of "feeling" the holy spirit is quite different than most ppl. i see my husband as having an equal level of spirituality but he doesn't even come close to feeling the spirit as directly as i do. i believe he has the gift of faith. he knows some things, he knows the doctrines and he follows without question. which yes has gotten him into tough spots before because bishops aren't perfect. but all of those tough spots the lord was able to iron out. i've often thought of my husband that if anyone was going to be asked to perform a miricle it would be him. he has no hessitation to follow the lord. if he was told to part the seas or raise the dead he would have no question in his mind if he could, he just would. i question all the time. though i sometimes think i don't have the same kind of faith, i am very spiritual. i "hear" inspirations from the holy ghost. i have conversations. i get compleate sentenses. i have waken up in the middle of the night with inspiration to do very specific things. my husband doesn't get that kind of inspiration, sometimes i wonder if he gets anything remotely direct. lol if we could ever get our imperfect mortal tendencies straight the things we could do together with both of these gifts would be amazing. lol maybe you are already looking at that. if so wonderful. if not, think on it. she may not have the same gifts of the spirit as you but that doesn't mean she's not spiritual. she may be a giant in her way. (not talking about the woman you just went out with but any woman you meet) odds are she won't have the same gifts as you, we are to find someone that compliments us not copys us.

i am glad to know that you are paying attention to things not just making assumptions on a first glance and then running with it. i have no way of knowing if what i said applied to you, just something that came to mind when i read the original stuff. i think i did say "a couple of thoughts (although may not be helpful)" lol i am aware that i don't have all the facts and am ok with that. i hope i didn't offend you in any way. dr t, "first date and you were laying out your ideas of marriage with this woman?" you've never been on an lds dating scene have you? lol i'd go to dances and in the course of a 2 min dance could tell you quite a bit about a guy, maybe not favorite color or anything, but degree working on or earned and if he had any real plans to use it. if he would be able to support a family or not with said goals. there is an understood that you are looking for a spouse, ppl get into "deep" discussion on a first meet. there is now this thing called speed dating i've heard about, you meet lots of ppl for 5 min at a time, a list of questions to run through and such.....lol first time i heard about it i thought they stole that from lds culture, sounds like a conference without the fun of a dance. my husband when he was dating never saw lack of interest on either part (his or hers) as something to be discouraged about. he figured it was one girl closer to "the one" if she rejected him all the better, if she wasn't interested he figured he didn't want her for some reason anyway and it saved him the time and money of dates to find out why. that much closer, one more girl off the list. lol i told him that could be called conceit. he says he's not conceited, he's convinced. allthough it is a fine line.

word, i didn't mean to insuinuate you had issues with anyone. my thinking was that maybe some of the women you meet do have those priorities but aren't communicating that very well. "she didnt seem interested in finding a partner as she talked a lot about her career..." the assumption being made based on her choice of conversation is what got my attention. not that she is right for you or not, or that the assumption is right or wrong. but a situation i've seen come up time and again. women sending messages by their choice of conversation that they have no idea they sent or intended to send. that is all i was trying to say there. maybe she isn't sending the message she wants to send. by all means find the one that is right for you, not a decision that should be made in haste.

i thought i had heard all the blonde jokes. not bad lol

a couple of thoughts (although may not be helpful) that i had when reading this. though i must say i've never been in the dating game as a sa. one thing to keep in mind is what women are told by society today. they should have a career, being a wife and mother isn't good enough. i found when i was in the singles some of the ysa sis would focus on what they were doing in school and such in conversation cause they a ) thought being a wife and mother was a given or B ) have been pressured by the world to have other things to say (almost shame for wanting "only" that). as for the sa sis, i found a big part of the reason they focused on the work and such, is they are not ysa anymore and have had to focus on that. they have to provide for themselves, they have finished school and need a place to live and food to eat, due to having not gotten married (or being divorced) they were required to make future plans and goals. they wanted to talk about that, as well as it's what they know. when you have established a life for yourself you want to make sure the person you are marrying is aware of your desires and goals, not have to give that part of you away to be married. most of these sis had no idea that the message they were sending the guys was they weren't interested in finding a husband, most of them were very much interested. as far as the importance of the gospel in their lives....look at how they live, what is the priority (may take more than one date to find that out). i was stake ysa rep for awhile and i found when my priesthood counterpart would find a girl he was interested in (given we were not in ut almost always required travel to date) he would stop taking care of his chruch responsibilities. he would stop helping plan, he would skip activities. understandable that he was traveling on the weekends to date and court, but he dropped the ball. she couldn't attend the activity he was responsible for? i got left with a lot of the work, most often with no warning that he would not be there. it was hard and frustraiting. i joked a lot about how useless the preisthood are when the have a girlfriend. but i was somewhat serious. so that became a priority of mine, would the guy i was dating put his responsibilities first, at least make proper arrangments not just drop the ball and leave town for the weekend. one of the things that attracted me to my husband. he would tell me, i can't come there i have this responsibility that weekend, but you can come here if you like. sometimes i did sometimes i didn't. if i commented that i had a responsibility he would make efforts to come visit me or no visit that weekend, he enouraged me to fullfill my responsibilities.

if you know someones purpose is to change your beliefs then you are right, do not entertain them to begin with. i am by no means saying don't converse or learn of different beliefs or investagate. but the spirit of it, if you are sharing personal convictions (which i feel gets done here a lot) is different than "i'm gonna change your mind, or save your soul". i've had conversations with both attitudes, very different spirit present. i do not give credance to anyone who is trying "to save my soul" it needs no saving. i love to hear of others beliefs. (where i believe many young missionaries mess up, the spirit of what you say; but that's another topic) i think someone here commented in another topic already that they had attended at that time and there were no such blood othes. as far as "change" goes.....we must define the word. we are told god is the same yesterday today and forever. off the top of my head i know of no christian religion that practices the sacrafice of animals. yet there can be no mistaking that it was the practice of the scriptures. so do no christians "worship the god of the bible"? look at the underlying doctrine, what is the reason or purpose behind the things we are asked to do, has that changed? maybe how we show it, or what we've been asked to do to follow it has changed but the doctrine, the principles, those have not changed. (i'm not speaking of the temple here just change in general). the world changes with every generation, the lord makes statments on this (does not mean he has changed his doctrines but mearly how he presents them). he will "speak our language", many points in the parables in the scriptures are missed by ppl reading today, we aren't sheep hearders or fisher men and such, we don't understand all the intricasies involved. part of the importance of a living prophet. someone who speaks the language today. look at the for streangth of youth, i used to have a lot less about sex and earings (if anything at all), i recall reading one that had a section with the main focus being that women shouldn't wear mens clothing. in the current one there is nothing of the sort, there are comments on earings and other peircings, and a whole lot more on sex (my opinion it needs to be changed even more to become more clear, no doubt as to the standard for kids today, but anyway). did the rules for the youth "change". i don't think so. the concerns and issues of the youth changed. i don't think there were any changes concerning the underlying doctrines behind what standard is tought, but that it is updated to address the concerns of the youth today. what good is a list of rules that have nothing to do with our day? same idea with all the statments of internet porn (or any porn for that matter). off the top of my head (i'm sure someone will correct me lol) i can't recall any scriptures in the bible specifically saying "porn is bad". if you are reading with spiritual ears you will see the doctrines behind the black and white words that will tell you that, but the words themselves are not there. internet porn wasn't an issue in jesus' day, why would he comment on it? again need for a latterday prophet. he can address the issues of today. we have very firm, no doubt about it statments on internet porn (again porn of any kind). has the command of god changed???? no!!!! the principal of the doctrine is the same, how it is presented and worded has changed to accomidate and assure comprehension of the ppl today. so do teaching methods, wording, aesthetics change? of course, the world changes. have the doctrines, the principles, the truths of god or god himself changed? no! god is unchanging not outdated. he will care for his children of all dispensations.

ok so nothing "said" verbally but i finally put a pic in my profile, it's of my baby girl. so yall go look at it k. what fun is a pic if no one sees it right? figured this was a good enough place to mention it since she does make quite a statment. i think anyway, but then again i am biased.

mrs s you have no idea how much i needed a good laugh this morning, thank you.

my brother and his kids had a game, when someone passed gass they would blame it on someone else. (i know you can see the problem with this already) the louder it was the louder you blamed, so that everyone could know "it wasn't you". my neice, 4 i guess she was, around there, passed gass and loud while the sacrament was being passed, and then said just as loud "daddy!" no one would believe it wasn't him no matter how hard he tried to explain the game. lol serves him right.

my 5 yr old told me this yr that santa was going to die. he very matter of factly asked me if santa was old, i told him yes, he said/asked old ppl die. which was also true. then said, you know i think santa is going to die soon. and left. not upset or worried, just how it is. his teacher recently told me that they had raised some catipliars and were going to release the butterflies when one was discovered to be missing. while the kids were trying to figure out where it went he explained that sometimes things die, it was probably dead. then later when they were talking about where they thought the butterflies would go and what they would do when released, he again reminded the class that they would probably die. lol i think kids of that age are just understanding death, so they look at it differently, a part of life.

Tantor: "That's it! I've had it with you and your emotional constipation!" Tarzan

i've been exploring this link outshined gave in another topic http://blacklds.org it's been very interesting, especially the history section. i learned a lot i did not know.

thank you for the link outshined. i live in the southern usa where this is still very much an issue for many. i will enjoy getting to explore this site more. thank you again. our branch pres, rs pres and the majority of our yw (i'm the yw's pres) are black. a position and struggle i should better educate myself on. the rs pres and i have had a few discussion trying to help me understand what it is like for a black southerner to join the church. something i try to get, but accept that i will probably never truely understand. but i can keep trying.

when the ppl get to bad can you transfer them to a supervisor instead of hanging up? say, "you sound very upset about this, i'm not sure i can help this situation, would you like to speak with a supervisor?" or something of that nature. i had to call an insurance company not long ago that was trying to deny a claim. it was very frustraiting, and i wanted to swear at some of the operators. lol i finally realized rather than arguing, getting mad and/or swearing at someone that obviously wasn't going to help me i started moving up the chain of command. one, "i can't...." and i stopped the conversation, "put me on with your supervisor please" after about 5 levels of managment (supposidly who knows who they transfered me to lol) i finaly got someone who could process my claim. lol i can tollerate swearing if someone is upset, as long as they don't attack me for no reason. i can't stand it in regular conversation or "fun". there is nothing funny about nasty language. i don't even like my toddlers making poopy jokes. sure it's a word you have when potty training but a context of conversation (even a jovial conversation) is appropriate, not out of jest (ie poopy head or such nonsence). i recall a youth fireside about language. the speaker was a police officer. he talked about how some of the other officers, even lds officers, would swear at ppl giving them a hard time. he had been instructed that there was power in such words and to get ppl to listen sometimes you had to use them. he tried it. it worked, those words had power. but he never felt good about it. one day he asked himself whose power did those words evoke? he stopped swearing imeadiately knowing it wasn't god's power. he'd rather have god's power and the priesthood protecting him, the holy ghost guiding him and keeping him safe, than whatever power this was he called upon for an imeadiate reaction. obviously his words made an impression upon me. lol