TalkativeIntrovert

My step son was bought up catholic, including going to a catholic school and going through all the standard ordinances. There was not much we could do, or wanted to do, as his mother had custody and she was catholic. We attended all the ordinances and celebrations that went with them and support him at all times. We never hid from him which church we, and most of his family, were a part of. Though now as an adult, he has not shown an interest in going to any church. I agree with Irishcolleen, she is still getting education in religion and is being taught morals and good standards, she can always choose to investigate other churches when they are old enough.

I still use the count to 3 with my kids and they are all teens :) I don't see how it is terrible? Like Bini said, it is giving them a prompt that their behaviour is unacceptable, then a little time to process and react. I find natural consequences work better as they get older, but they can be really hard to implement sometimes. Some that have worked for us: - your turn to feed the animals, it hasn't been done, you don't get dinner. - Rocking on the chair - lose the right to sit on a chair for a while (sit on floor to eat) - Generally bad behaviour/language/meanness, you are not fit to take out in public, I would be embarrassed, miss out on the trip. My son stayed home with me once while his sisters went to a water park with his cousins - that was a really tough lesson for all of us. - Stuff all over the floor - it goes in the bin. It only happened once and they got the message. - wont get out of bed for school and late? Wear the detentions, I will not write a note. If I am driving them and they are running late, they walk. - Son was being particularly obnoxious in the car one day, so I put him out and he had to walk home (3km!). Of course these are all the negative consequences, we also have a lot of positive ones to balance it up. eg Chores and homework done on time and without whinging, family movie night once a week (cheap movies at the uni, but still a good night out). I have been blessed with particularly well behaved, lovely children, so it is rare that we have negative consequences - and I constantly tell them how wonderful they all are after a day out at some of my friends places :)

I strongly suggest a service like Al-anon designed specifically for the family of alcoholics. I saw my mother lose 40 years of her life to my alcoholic father and in the end, she nursed him for 2 years until he died from alcohol related illnesses. He has been gone for 18 months now and she has blossomed into a wonderful happy person I barely recognise. She refused to get help while he was alive, he refused help as well. My siblings and I didn't go to al-anon but we read some great books and would talk through it together. As we were further away from the situation, were able to see more clearly, and break free from the destructive cycles. I just wish mum could have joined us, it may have helped dad as well as her. I feel your pain

This reminds me of a couple of "experiments" I did with a psychic believing friend when we were young (early teens). We had been friends for many years and were very close. The first experiment involved her thinking very hard about an object and drawing it on a piece of paper, I then had to guess what it was. I knew she was cat mad, so I knew her first would probably be a cat - correct! I knew she loved sailing, so a boat - correct. I was able to also see some of the way she held her pen and her pen strokes. Next she tried objects in the room, I knew that because her eyes were looking around, rather than up. They settled in a chair - another correct answer. Whenever she looked up, it was coming from her mind and I said the image wasn't coming through clearly and couldn't quite see! When she looked around it was something in the room and I could guess from the pen stroke. She was convinced that I was psychic. Another time we were playing cards and she was sitting in the perfect position in front of a mirror. She held up a card and I guessed it every time - by seeing it in the mirror. After that one, I came clean on how I was doing this stuff :) Recently I was with a cousin at a psychic fair that she organised. I was there to support her, not the rubbish going on around me. Anyway, one of those tv mediums was there and did a show. It was so vague it was ridiculous. He pointed to a part of the room and said "Is Janet over there" no-one replied, he said he had a message for Janet or Jan or Jane and not to be shy, no one answered. After a while of this he said "She must have gone home". With that I lost it, I had to leave as I was laughing so hard :) My cousin was still convinced he was talking to spirits. Hopefully one of the Astral Projectors saw you last night LM and will report back.

What's "LEV"?

It's interesting that years ago I read stuff about Astral projection, Auras, voices, spirits and all sorts of paranormal things and disregarded them outright as a scam or con, originating from a dream or just something from a bunch of crazies. Since joining the church, and having a few unusual experiences of my own, I have changed my views on the existence of these things. I am now one of the "crazies" :) I kind of wish I was still sceptical - it all sounds a bit too creepy to me too.

Outgoing, bubbly, chain smoking, alcoholic, single, child free, atheist, vegetarian, communist/socialist, sports watching, moody, skinny, disorganised, young, brown eyed brunette. Loves winter, hates the heat, also loves avocado, oysters and porridge and hates exercising.

Broken trust over time = loss of feeling and love. I used to love my husband so much it hurt, I still look at him and remember the love I used to have and that hurts even more because it will never come back. I no longer trust him. He has broken his word too many times and caused damage to the family in doing so. The last time I confronted him with the evidence of his broken promise he looked at me and cried, he said he could see that it had ripped my heart out and asked if it could ever be fixed. I said no. I didn't cry, I was just dead inside. Love without trust doesn't exist in my life. If he was really repentant, he would be doing something about it - return to church, confess to Bishop or even just make reparations (repay the money he has gambled by stopping golf and nights out). He has done none of that. He has continued on as if nothing as happened. When we married, we talked about the most important things to us. My top one was honesty - no lies, ever. I talk to the kids about honesty all the time, I have it on my resume as one of the most import character traits. He knows this, and lies. I am still married at the moment. The children are teens and they need both parents. In 4 years the youngest is finished school. It wont be a hard decision what to do when he leaves for University. In regards to celestial marriage, I don't want to be married forever to someone I can't trust, so I guess that makes the celestial marriage irrelevant.

I would wear nail polish called "Eternal Optimist" - I love it!

That's great! Maybe if more people envisaged Jesus behind the wheel, we would have less problems on the road :) My friend was in terror after being road raged once, she stopped at a set of lights and the other car pulled up next to her, continuing to shout abuse. The other lady stopped when she realised it was our mutual friend in the car. She was very apologetic, and said she wouldn't have done it if she knew it was her, but I wonder if it stopped her bad behaviour to other people?

I had a driving one as well. My husband went to hospital and they found a tumour encompassing his bowel and appendix, we were told it was cancer and to expect the worst. At the time, the children were at my sisters place, 1.5 hr drive away, for the school holidays. I was running on fear and adrenaline, I got in the car to go pick them up. My head was spinning and thoughts running at a million miles an hour. Then I received words, very strongly and loudly to "slow down". I looked at the speedo and I was actually speeding, something I don't consciously do. I slowed down and around the next corner was a police car with a speed camera. Now I don't believe the Holy Ghost is there to get me out of a speeding fine! Those words "slow down" were not about the car speed, I felt it as a calming message to slow my thoughts as well and it prepared me to be support for the children. 6 weeks later we were sitting in the oncologists office ready for the treatment plan and prognosis to be told that they were wrong, the tumour was removed, but there was no sign of cancer. We now joke about how the HG helped me avoid a speeding fine :)

Normal is over rated, plus I don't think normal really exists. I feel your pain about being out of control. It is hard to see a way out when so much is burdening you at once. I suggest you need to address each of your problems in a logical manner, a small piece at a time so you don't become overwhelmed. I was in a similar hole a while back. What worked for me is to look at 1 thing I can accomplish, and finish it. For me, the first thing was simply attending to a dental issue that was causing pain. After overcoming the anxiety of the dental appointment, I felt much better both mentally and physically. I then sat down with a list of things I needed to do or sort out, put it in priority order, and made myself attend to 1 thing per day. Part of my problem is that we had moved house and I had boxes everywhere and couldn't find anything, particularly financial things, but lots of little things as well. So it worked for me to do 1 box per day and make 1 phone call per day to sort out the finance issue. By doing 1 per day I still had time to wallow in my misery, but at least I was moving forward! For you, maybe that means doing something like this: 1. talk to bishop and ask for assistance and advice re finances and moving in with girlfriend 2. talk to doctor about managing your condition 3. work out a list of incomings, outgoings and debts 4. look at the gaps in 3 and try to come up with scenarios that will get you through it. 5. Call 1 creditor to work out a plan Can you sit with your girlfriend and list all your issues and work through some of them with her? Having someone on your side can really help.

I can't imagine Bingo becoming addictive :) After reading here, I think the token payment of $3 is more of a participation/entry fee and the prizes are just a bonus. If I look at the reason why I am there, it is not to win, it is a community event. Tosca and Bini - I agree that games is probably becoming a bigger problem these days. I waste a lot of time on the internet that should be put to better use. Maybe I should help out at bingo more often :)

Some of the loveliest people I know have the untidiest houses :) I am opposite, I have a great house, mostly clean and tidy, but I also don't have a lot of personal interactions - which I am sad about. I am not a people person like you, but would like to be. If the house bothers you that much, do something about it. If it only bothers you because you think you SHOULD have it clean, then don't. It comes down to priorities.

I love budget travel. I have more memories (good and bad) of that kind of travel than I do of staying in a resort. We have a lot less opportunity for holidays now as my husband will not do budget and we can't afford more than that. So instead of a cheap family holiday each year we end up with an overpriced holiday every 5 or 6 years. This is the year for it and I am stressing greatly about how much it will cost and whether we have enough fun family time for the cost! When the kids are independent I am looking forward to solo travel. It is just a shame that the airfare from Australia to most places is so expensive.

Sorry, should have given context: It is a game where you go to a club and pay $3 to enter. It is usually a bunch of old ladies and gents, have a chat between games, whinge about losing, making old people jokes and someone usually brings home made cake/biscuits. School holidays they bring their kids/grandkids for a game. For some it is the social highlight of their week. There are prizes of shopping gift cards for each game. So yes - you do pay money with a chance of winning something. Up until recently, I hadn't considered it gambling as I was going along with a friend and assisting older ladies where I could. However, I won - which was not expected!

Quite literally Bingo - the game. Is it considered gambling?

I was on them for a while, but didn't have a calling at the time. I did experience a few side effects, though it could also have been the other medication. I just made sure people at church and at work knew I was trialling new medication and asked a few I trusted to keep an eye on me. No one needed to now what I was taking or what for (though most knew, or thought they knew, anyway). I don't think it necessary to give up a calling as you may have no negative effects at all, and sometimes side effects happen for only a week or 2 then things settle down. Evaluate the situation as you go along.

Slamjet, thank you for sharing your story through your blog. I started at the first blog and have just finished the 3 parts of step 3. Not sure what else to say except thank you, I had a few moments in there that hit me right where I need it.

I am sure you have plenty of time to set that up Pam :) I am a member of meetup.com and I have always thought it would be great to have a worldwide LDS meetup group. Some of the group I am with now do regular bushwalks/bike rides/day trips on a weekend around the local area and also have a big holiday, often a year down the track, in the pipeline. I don't do these things with my family because they hate doing them and whinge the whole time. There's a lot to be said for marrying someone with more in common than not! I find the problem with the LDS social activities is that the married members tend to do family things, the single members do a lot of great activities but I would not feel comfortable attending ( being married and all :) ). Also, our ward is not very big, so not a lot of people that like doing active things that I like.

Soaring Eagle, we have some members have FHE on a Sunday evening. Can you talk to RS or Bishop and tell them you would like to be a part of one? We often have it on different nights and have invited other members, investigators, missionaries as well. I especially love having the missionaries over as they have great ideas for lessons and fun games. Perhaps you could arrange it with the missionaries on a Sunday evening at your place or in a park? As to the OP, I think as long as the spirit of the occasion is upheld, then it can be held anywhere, anytime.

Welcome :)

Thanks everyone - that was quick! So how does the restoration process start, does the person need to contact the bishop? Does the bishop extend an invitation for an interview? I read the article and it mentions a lot about the good, repentance, love, etc. One of my husband's cousins was ex'd as a young man in his early 20's (neither of them talk about it). He is very bitter as he believes it was not justified. Whatever the sin, there were a group of them doing it and only he was ex'd. My husband was sent to Australia to live with his sister, he thinks that saved him from being ex'd as well. I have no opinion on the matter as I don't know anything about it, just wondering how he could make his way back, or if it is even possible when he is feeling that way. He has mentioned in the past that he would possibly go back, especially when I converted and husband and I were sealed, he still sees that as desirable for his family (his wife is a non-member).

As a convert I know nothing about this. This is purely for information - I am not heading there!!! I have been reading here that being excommunicated can be a good thing, I don't understand that. Can someone please give me a quick run down in simple terms of why, how, recovery, etc?

Did they mix up the message? If we don't believe in Christ then we don't believe in Joseph Smith? Otherwise, I suspect I agree with Eowyn (guessing what Bologna means :) )