TalkativeIntrovert

Yes, it is on concept 2 Ergs. They all get linked up and position in the race is displayed on a big screen. It is a bit like playing Wii, but you feel like dying by the end of the race!

Complaint? I thought it a valid observation / discussion. I agree that church facilities could be improved to meet the needs of the ward. The bike thing wouldn't work for us as the chapel is half way up a very steep hill, even walking it is hard, but in general the toilet/shower facilities are very inadequate if there is more than 1 baptism on at a time.

Fairly limited viewing audience, but "Ïndoor Rowing for everyone" It would have benefits, instruction, training programs, past competition and champions, upcoming competitions and do some profiles on regular people doing great stuff. I am assisting the organiser of the Australian Indoor Rowing Championships and it and it has been my main focus for 6 months now!

This is me. I have received strong personal revelation that the Mormon church is the closest church to being as God wants it. I love being part of the church and the programs, I love most of the people involved in the church and respect them as good people. I believe the standards set for members is very high and a great place to aim for. The world would be a better place if everyone had the same high standards as a goal. However, I have also received revelation about certain elements being wrong. There are things that I believe are not inspired of God but have come about by man. I have sat in a room, during sacred times, and had a voice not talking quietly, but screaming at me that it was all wrong (the specific scenario, not the church as a whole) I have weighed up the seemingly contradictory things and have concluded that it is wrong for me to deny what has been revealed to me as being true. So I choose to ignore the other things and have faith that they will work themselves out in the eternities - one way or another. I have told my husband, recently, about the "wrong", he suggested talking to Bishop, which I did. I haven't spoken to anyone else as it is relevant only to me. It is what it is.

I have to trust that the church and the Bishop do the right thing with tithing and fast offerings. They know more than I do. If I (and others) don't trust that, then the system falls into chaos. I was "caught" once in a similar pattern of thought - why don't we help more needy members, so I took it upon myself to help a family where dad had lost his job and they were having trouble with bills. I took around groceries and meals for a week, including treats for the children and some cash for extras. Rather than sell my son's pristine bike (that he had outgrown), I gave it to them for their son. We had them over to our house for dinner and offered any assistance we could. At church the following week I was very surprised to find the mum showing off the new clothes she had bought that week. My faith in humanity was shattered. After that, I started donating my time to Barnados, helping at-risk families in whatever way was needed, whether emotional (a shoulder to cry on), physical (look after children while they could get some cleaning done or bilk cooking for a week, etc) and financial (help sort out budgets, help with frugal living, advocate for them with companies they owed money to, etc). If the family refused to give up pay tv, Christmas hampers, magazine subscriptions, etc, they were advised that we could not help them. One lady we had to stop helping as she refused to give up her weekly manicure and hairdresser appointment. However it was hugely satisfying getting families on track where they accepted the advice and were on their way to independence. So now, I never presume to know more than those in authority!

I am thankful for this focus for teaching. I had a real issue with the messages a few months ago that didn't make sense to teach to inactive members. The messages were about home teaching, it was like we were turning up to tell them why we were there - over and over.

Hmmm, this has got me thinking, that tooth fairy really owes me heaps! I had all baby teeth removed, then 4 adult teeth to correct over crowding, then 4 wisdom teeth, then lastly 2 super-numeries (extra teeth beyond what is normal). Get my back payment and interest and retire I think.

Ouch, how did that happen?

I'll see if my mum still has the Tooth Fairy's number so she can get that money for me then :)

For my children, it depended on the state of the tooth. For a first tooth, well looked after, clean, no holes it was $5. Subsequent well looked after teeth were $1. A tooth with a hole or looking dirty from lack of cleaning was lucky to get 20c. I don't remember getting money for mine, possibly because I had all my baby teeth out in hospital due to damage from medications

This is from the LDS site: "In preparation for the sacrament each week, Church members take time to examine their lives and repent of sins. They do not need to be perfect in order to partake of the sacrament, but they should have a spirit of humility and repentance in their hearts. Every week they strive to prepare for that sacred ordinance with a broken heart and a contrite spirit (see 3 Nephi 9:20). " Bishop knows of my issues and has not advised me against taking sacrament. I wonder if this is why there are so many inactive member due to the "all or nothing" view. It gives me insight into why my husband, born a member, is hesitant to attend sacrament and start the path back to church. As a convert, I don't see everything so black and white, though that scripture (3 Nephi) is pretty clear and not exactly encouraging me to keep trying either! Lots to think about now ....

Is that correct? That if you are unworthy you can't partake of sacrament? I was of the understanding that you take the sacrament as part of the effort to be worthy. If I am wrong, then I should not be taking the sacrament as I am not living true to the WOW. Can someone please expand on this?

I love the quote from Gordon B Hinckley about marriage: “I am satisfied that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. Any man who will make his wife’s comfort his first concern will stay in love with her throughout their lives and through the eternity yet to come” It is not exactly a definition of love, but it is love in practice. My sister once said to me that she knew I was in love with my husband because my eyes lit up every time he walked into the room. I didn't recognise that myself - and this was years after we married, it wasn't "new" love.

We lived the Stay-at-home-dad / working mum situation for a long time. I wont say it was easy, but it worked for us. However we made conscious decisions for it to work like that due to my career vs his job and the differences in pay. When I became disabled and had to give up work, my husband took a job in the mail room and has now worked his way up to management. The interesting thing is that I always considered him management material and a good, honest, hard worker, and was not afraid to tell him so. I suspect that the extra encouragement (and perhaps pushing) helped him get where he is now, even though he didn't think he could do it. Maybe there are underlying issues with your husband that need to be sorted out? I agree that you can't go into having children with the uncertainty that he will support the family OR that you can accept him as the SAHP. It sounds like you need a very matter-of-fact discussion about goals and expectations for the future. I hope it goes well. (I haven't specified the hardships of being a working mum, ie back to work when baby is 3 mths, but think that carefully through. It is the hardest thing I have ever done)

I can't find the link or source, and am using my own memory, but I thought I had read about the massacre and plural issues in the ensign. So it was not covered up. I hope you can find what you are looking for Mikedavis. I am not sure if this is allowed or not, but there is a site called "staylds" it is for people that are wanting to stay with the church, despite not agreeing with certain parts of it. There are some good discussions there on some of the things you mention and people use references scripture, ensign, historical. It is not an anti-Mormon site.

I took spacey to mean roomy/vacuous/empty. In the case you describe Lakumi, I suggest a doctor!

I think "spacey" is the goal - to let the spirit in :) I am surprised the missionaries seem standoffish, I can understand pushy at times. It helps to have an understanding that the missionaries are young boys who have probably not been out of home before, they are all at various stages of their mission from just stepped out the door to ready to go home. Each f them also has a unique personality and view on things. I suggest being honest with them about how you feel. That you are searching, you are willing to learn but you are not happy to have undue pressure. We have had a couple of instances in our home where we have had to tell over-exuberant missionaries to back off. That is rare, and I look back and see it for what it is - they are so full of the spirit they can't understand why we weren't jumping into the font :) Mostly they are excellent young men doing the best they can to spread the gospel. As for smoking, ask the missionaries if there some quit programs in your area, a few years ago the missionaries actually ran some group with the general public, which I found unusual but also inspired! I am sure you know that it wont be easy to give up, but you CAN do it. Just think of the temporal blessings alone of giving up - more money, better health, example to your children, etc - these all matter regardless of whether you decide to join. As a first step, have you read the Book of Mormon? Can you read it with your son - I think that is a great place to start.

I am sorry you have had such a bad experience in your first year. It is horrible feeling left out and not welcomed Can I suggest that you hang in there for a bit after doing a few of the following - get your membership number from the ward clerk - all of the manuals are accessible on line, I read the scriptures on line as well as the young women's handbook, gospel principals book and the current lesson books. I have the Gospel library app on my phone. - talk to your Bishop about how you are feeling, I am sure he would be horrified to find out you have completely dropped through the cracks - talk to the missionaries, you should have had some follow up lessons after your baptism, arrange for them. - attend the investigator classes rather than regular classes, I found the much more useful when I first joined - For the moment, stop reading about the negative aspects of the church, yes, they are out there, and yes some of them are true (Joseph Smith did practice polygamy). You can always go back and read them later, but coming from a better spiritual place. Do you have callings? That is a great way to become involved, talk to Bishop about that. Again, I am really sorry you are feeling like this and I can somewhat relate as I felt similar in the beginning

There's one thing about this I don't understand. Do parents have such poor memory that they don't remember their own childhood/teen years. I know I forget a lot, but I certainly don't forget how I felt when a friend of my fathers came to our house - we (sister and I) hid under our bed - every single time. When his car turned up and parents weren't home - we locked the doors and pretended we weren't home. Nothing happened but we knew it could, even if we didn't know what "it" was. I also remember not being able to tell my parents, because we didn't know what was wrong and we didn't have that type of relationship. I also remember finding my fathers porn stash and how inexplicably I was drawn to it - it was something so completely different and exciting. There is no way I would tell my parents about that - because to start with it involved snooping into their private affairs. I remember the anguish I felt at being a very shy child and how I felt about boys and not ever being good enough. This article says that parents don't know what their kids are going through or doing. Perhaps it is true, but I have an idea of some of the things my kids are going through because I too went through it. I don't expect my kids to tell me everything, probably not even 10%! But I don't think I am totally oblivious to what may be going on. The door is always open for them to talk to me, and we have always told them that they have other support systems and places to go - especially my brother and sister who are not church members, but care and love them and their church leaders. 1 Google is the new Sex-Ed - sadly, I agree, kids will go there first, after all we encourage them to do research on everything else, so it is a natural progression. It is what I do to find things out. I don't know why this would be something parents don't know? 2 If Your Child was Ever Molested, You Likely Don’t Know - yep - my own experience shows that, it is only years later that I spoke to my father about his friend and by then it was too late, he had molested other children. 3 Your Child is Not the Exception - if any parent believe this they have their head in the sand, regardless of their own memories. I think it is a good article in that it is a wake up call for parents that become complacent (as I often do when caught up in life). I also think the take away message is to talk to your kids, often, and make sure they are comfortable to open up and ask you questions without being judged.

Focus on food. Pre-church, cake was something I had only on someone's birthday ....

Dark_Jedi, I have a neurological condition called Benign Essential Blepharospasm - the muscles around my eyes go into spasm and shut my eyes so I can't see. The main treatment is Botox injections, but that is only partially effective and often causes my eyelids to droop and be so heavy I can't lift them. The first time I tried a stimulant medication my eyelids popped open and I was seeing normally for the first time in many years. The problem is that the stimulants I have taken in pill form have caused awful side effects including heart palpitations, aggression, sleeplessness, agitation, Same effect as taking speed - my house is beautifully clean and my head is a mess. :) A Coffee in the morning works just enough to keep my eyes open to function, and if I need to do something in the evening, I have another one in the afternoon. According to people on a support chatboard I am on, they think it is something more than the caffeine that helps - just taking caffeine based tablets don't have the same effect. So I probably should not have said I require coffee. I can not have it and struggle with vision and day to day activities. I can also take other medication, but coffee is a lot less damaging to me and my family (they did not like the aggression!). Hope that makes sense?

Interesting observation on TOFW - the same observation made by a few others on Facebook! I wasn't there as I was looking after kids so others could go, so I did not see the JW's, however I did see the photos taken by my own ward sisters, plus those from the NZ TOFW that my Sister In Law's attended. As for WOW, I mentioned earlier today I do not follow the WOW. I drink coffee for a medical condition, and I obviously eat too much as I am obese. If I were to pull apart the WOW, I am sure there are others I am not adhering to as well. Today I had some Rockmelon, this is not in season and has been imported. I also eat Frozen Blueberries year round - definitely not fresh and in season. I cannot answer that I am following the WOW, so I do not qualify for a temple recommend. If I didn't require the coffee, I still would not answer that I follow it due to the other things I have said here. I have spoken to Home teachers about this and they think I am taking it to far. I don't think so, no item in the scripture is given any more weight than another. It is something I am working through.

Do JW's have a similar health code as the wow? I don't know much about them.

It really depends on what the church activity is vs what the personal activity is. The answer would change depending on each different scenario. I go for agreed commitment first. If I, or the kids, have committed to a season of football/hockey/whatever, and the church activity is a one off, then the commitment to team comes first. If it is a decision between an extended family activity (we don't see them often) and a church activity, then family comes first. Though we would make an attempt to schedule things with the family. If the outside activity is one that can be done at a different time, then church activity comes first. Though in that case it is unlikely that we would have scheduled in such a conflict. The biggest problem we have is church activities with very short notice. Communication is not very good and this includes from the stake! Often, you have to physically be at church in a particular meeting to get notification of an event. I don't always think to push past the milling crowds to read the noticeboards in the foyer on a Sunday. It is getting better now that we have a facebook page, but there are many without FB and it is not always updated.

I find it interesting that there seem to be more obese people in the church than out! Which is interesting given the WOW as someone mentioned earlier. I was not obese before joining - I actually wonder if the alcohol and coffee lifestyle helped keep the weight off!!!! Not true of course, there were many other factors at play, but the timing was there. I am obese, but I am also a lot fitter than most regular sized people I know. Earlier this year I compete in an aquathon (swim and run), did a 30km charity walk, do weekend hikes of up to 25km a day and am currently in training to compete in the Australian Indoor Rowing Championships. I feel like I am judged for being obese by most people. I feel judged by church people for having coffee each day (in place of medication that causes heart palpitations, sleeplessness, aggression and possibly psychosis). When I think rationally, there probably are very people that do judge me, on the whole it is probably me judging myself more harshly. However all it takes is 1 nasty group of teens driving past yelling fat comments as I am running to make me feel like the whole world thinks that way. Sadly, that can make me feel so bad about myself that I don't want to go running and I medicate with food. Thinking about the obesity issue - it does not make me want to leave church, or even feel judged by most church members, even though I am obviously not living the WOW as I eat too much. Now think on the coffee issue - same thing, not living WOW, yet I feel judged and unworthy of the church and am unable to get a temple recommend. We all make judgements, it is what we do with them that matters.