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Everything posted by dddd

  1. A lot of times even the person will fail to recognize their behaviors as a way to combat OCD especially if the behvaiors are socially acceptable.
  2. It doesn't make you less of a person to have it. I dated a guy who described what you did almost verbatim and after we broke up he went to a counselor and got help. Not meaning to be offensive, just ghat what you described seems out of the normal spectrum
  3. There are apparently some health benefits to sleeping in the buff, which is why I wondered, because I sleep in a room with no AC and used to do it all the time before my mission.
  4. Thank you! I looked at Pres Nelson and his wife and thought if they could do it why not me but they are very healthy lol. And I feel at peace with the decision but it totally makes me feel like I have missed the marriage train somehow.
  5. Ultimately he broke up with me because of family disapproval which he knows is important to me. I think I commented about it on your marriage advice page. It was only later I expressed to him I could not be committed to someone who wasn't temple ready, as he was saying he hoped it would work in the future. But aside from his issues, my family knew nothing about that. They still encouraged me to break up with him over an age difference. Danged if I do, danged if I don't I guess. My aunt literally said she knew no one in my age bracket to set me up with because they were all married, and then proceeded to tell me what an awful idea it was to date someone older than me.
  6. People make fun of the virgin Mary so much. Imagine how they would exploit his wife. Horrid. And if you read, really read, it strongly implies Jesus was married. And point being with the strong marriages not being in the temple, we haven't seen the end or even the behind the scenes in a lot of cases. ALSO, if you follow the principles that God has outlined for success and marital happiness (which are contained in the commandments/temple covenants) no matter who you are or if you have access to them or not you'll be blessed. To say that no marriage outside of a temple is happy is like saying that no one who doesn't take a financial success seminar will be rich. It may be the best seminar in the world, but if you live principles regardless if you were formally taught them or not you will get the results.
  7. What about different age brackets all together? I broke up with a man who was 18 years older than me because my family disapproved of an age difference. My aunt was especially opinionated. But I feel like a woman in her mid twenties dating a man 18 years older is not so worrisome as a teenage girl marrying her boyfriend who was 4 years older than her within days of graduating high school, which is exactly what my aunt did.
  8. http://www.ldsliving.com/How-Long-Should-You-Wait-for-a-Temple-Marriage-/s/63887
  9. OR he could just be an honorable missionary whose priority is not to write to all the girls sending him letters. He shouldn't be thinking about his romantic interest in her. When you go on a mission there are just some different rules... I would be more worried about him being marriage material if he IS always writing back.
  10. Short answer: yes. But there may be a rule in his mission where you are only allowed to write home, not allowed to write to girls, or can only write to girls every few weeks. So it's best to not expect anything back and just be a support.
  11. Maybe this will be easy for you in that case but your life, your wife, and your children will be a lot happier if you always make sure you love your wife more than the kids. Science-backed fact.
  12. Well in America at least, there is no way in heck that another person is property so I view that segment of the argument as moot. Legally another person can marry someone even if both sets of parents say no. Heck, they'll still give you a temple recommend. But it depends on the person you are with. I would be a person where permission/approval is 100% the final word. (Unless I got a vision from heaven telling me to disregard my fam's wishes or something.) As a kid my mom did not always get along with my dad's side, my dad did not click with my mom's side, and even my mom didn't click with her own side. My happiest memories were spent at grandparents with cousins so it broke my heart to be withheld from making memories because of my parents' disdain for whatever was going on in the family at the time. In fact, about two weeks ago I was dating a man recently as we started putting a timeline on marriage but found out my dad did NOT approve. Broke my heart but we both decided to end it. And if there was a country that would prevent someone from marrying based on parental approval I would not call that an abuse of human rights and additionally would support their right to keep that legislation. If the lovers are dead set God wants them to marry against their parents' wishes, they can run away to a country like America. Love will find a way (;
  13. So you view having a child as life being destroyed? Was this unplanned? https://thoughtcatalog.com/matthew-fray/2017/07/the-uncomfortable-truth-on-if-you-should-love-your-spouse-your-parents-or-your-children-most/
  14. Do you love your children or your mother more? Genuine curiosity
  15. Agreed but who said anything about shaming your partner into sex? What about making a marriage partner feel bad because their spouse is not willing to be intimate with them? I think that would hurt anyone's spirit and self esteem.
  16. Well the first question you get when you get to the judgement bar won't be about how much you loved your mother. https://www.lds.org/ensign/1981/07/brethren-love-your-wives?lang=eng
  17. To think of sex as only carnal is wrong. Sex is the highest expression of love and a huge physiological way couples bond...I think its selfish to demand it of your spouse but also selfish to withhold it. You could uncover these attitudes before getting married and save yourself a lot of pain. Find out if you're going to be on a different page for eternity.
  18. The Bible says cleave unto your life and none else, so basically your wife has a biblical pass to put you on the couch.
  19. I'm a 25 year old woman and I do tell people (even jokingly) my parents own me. Even being financially independent now...They gave their life to raise me. They invested everything they had to get me to the point of adulthood where I CAN consent and legally make binding decisions for myself. And because I love them and trust them and know that I'm here because of them, I do want their approval in this. And that's the tradition. I see nothing in the tradition that the mother is not aware and consulted as well.
  20. That's great. Next time I'll go to the handbook now that I have it, but I've just been surprised at the shaming attitudes people have on this site for lack of knowledge.
  21. Don't tell me that I'm the first person to tell you that there's a lot to take in when you get endowed. I mean please. Literally the only thing I remember was the Matron telling me that she was not going to tell me how to wear my underwear and telling me how much she loved sister missionaries and loves being a mission mom.