AbramM
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Posts posted by AbramM
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5 hours ago, Mores said:
Would you really be changing your faith?
Yes I would be. The Holy Trinity is the foundation of my faith.
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1 hour ago, Jane_Doe said:
We're not saying that you don't know God.
To help clarify what we ARE saying, I'm going to explain a hypothetical situation to explain things:
1) God convicts you, Abram, from the bottom of your soul that a believers baptism is His ways and the Truth. Infant baptism is not His way.
2) You were then to attend a church that preached & practiced infant baptism
3) Said church (including your spouse) heavily encouraged you to likewise practice infant baptism.
4) Due to this pressure, you then go have your infant daughter baptized, despite being convicted by God that this is not His way.
Do you see the problem here? How by performing such an act you would be turning your back on God and going agains the Truths He convicted you of?
My Southern Baptist pastor would lecture me for hours if he knew I thought this but whilst I wouldn't choose to have my kids baptised it does no harm. So if I had a spouse who felt strongly about it for whatever reason. I'd go for it 😕
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3 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:
My purpose in asking was to 1) better understand what you believe, and 2) help you maybe understand standard LDS Christian beliefs. I know your situation is tough and intimating, so I was trying to be helpful, as somebody who is bi-lingual, so to speak. If you wanted to chat via Private Message (PM) or email or not at all, those are all ok too. I'd also be totally willing to talk to your girl.
You were helpful, but I feel bad being on a LDS forum and talking about what I believe.
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10 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:
I'm totally down with the notion that if one of you won't convert to the other's church and system of beliefs, then you don't get married.
So, AbramM, do you have a deadline set? If she ain't converted by [this date], you'll break up with her and go seek a more theologically compatible woman to date? If she were here, I'd be asking her the same question...
I'm praying about it. If she doesn't start coming with me to churches by the end of April then I will break up with her.
If we find a church then we have to attend there for 1 whole year. Then after that I will marry her.
I'm not going to just go and seek women if I break up with my girlfriend. I will need to heal for a while. Then I will start praying for God's guidance before I start trying to find a wife again, so to prevent another situation like I have now.
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19 minutes ago, estradling75 said:
You really are not listening to a word we are saying... so I see no point in trying to continue to help you
You believe that my girlfriend is with God now because she attends LDS church you believe she would be leaving God if she went to a protestant church. So clearly you believe that I don't know God. You can't have it both ways.
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1 hour ago, estradling75 said:
You are not listening... You do not think you are because you have a limited understanding of the LDS faith (We are Not Protestant).
In this case we are more in common with Catholics then Protestants. And any good Catholic would tell you that when you leave the church you are leaving God's church for something less.
Look if you think me asking my girlfriend to come to a protestant church with me is asking her to leave God then you think protestants don't know God. That's fine I know that I know God but if she thinks that I dont then why woulf she want to marry me anyway.
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1 hour ago, estradling75 said:
And we have repeatably explained how you are not asking her to her to "try a new church" (even though that is how you view it). You are asking her to abandon God
I find it offensive that you think I'm asking her to leave God. I don't know if your view of the Protestant faith is completely wrong or if your view of God is completely wrong but for sure you're wrong.
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1 hour ago, Midwest LDS said:
I've been following this thread for some time and while you and I disagree on several important issues, there is one thing where I am 100% on your side. You want to marry a woman of a similiar faith to your own. While interfaith marriages can work, as @Jane_Doe and others demonstrate, it can also lead to a lot of stress and unhappiness in marriage which I have also seen. Especially when kids come along. I know that for myself, I wanted to be married in a Holy Temple of God for eternity. I wanted a wife who would strengthen me when I had moments of doubt and help raise our children in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A wife of another faith, or one who converted solely because I insisted that it was a requirement to marry me, would never have given me those things. I don't pretend to know your girlfriend, but from what you've said about her it seems as if her faith is at least somewhat important to her. That being the case I think you have three options
1. Marry her and accept that she will always be a Latter-day Saint and that she will want to teach your kids about her faith at some point.
2. Insist that she convert for your sake, which she may do if she loves you, and accept the fact that she will be unhappy and may grow resentful of you for doing that.
3. Realize that this is a dealbreaker for you and move on.
Honestly my friend I believe your best options are 1 or 3. You need to decide if you can handle her belief in a church you disagree with or not. And, honestly, I think it's ok if the answer is not. After all, that was the same criteria I used when I was looking for a wife.
Yes I'm not going to marry her unless she decides to follow Protestant beliefs. I'm not going to make her convert because it won't last, the Lord will either change her heart or He won't.
She knows that I'm not going to marry her unless we have a church together. Regardless, sometimes it is necessary to make sacrifices for the Lord so if the Lord requires me to leave her then I will do that. Abraham was willing to kill his only son for the Lord so I'm willing to leave my girlfriend.
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38 minutes ago, NightSG said:
No more than her unwillingness to change for him. It's a two way street.
She is kind of less willing to change than me, because I am willing to go to other churches to see if we like them but she never joins me. She tells me she is willing to change church so she can marry me but her actions don't show me that, so it is a huge mess.
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9 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:
Abram, what parts about faith in Christ do you find to be the most important? Or rather, second most important (since we already talked about faith in Christ and the atonement).
I believe that Jesus was God incarnate this is as important as faith in Christ's atonement. I know now that you don't believe that.
I feel kind of uncomfortable talking about what I believe on a forum for people with LDS beliefs. I feel kind of rude but I wasn't expecting this to happen when I originally posted. I apologise.
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9 hours ago, estradling75 said:
And requiring someone to do something that you are not willing to do yourself is hypocrisy
I have tried lots of new churches trying to compromise so we can get married. I'm not a hypocrite
- prisonchaplain and NightSG
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9 hours ago, Manners Matter said:
The fact that you're not willing to change for her says a lot. Maybe that's something to ponder...
I am the only one willing to find a new church. It is a big sacrifice for me to leave the Southern Baptist church I attend, I love it there but I am willing to find a new church we can attend together.
- NightSG and prisonchaplain
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9 minutes ago, Alia said:
Abram how old are you? Although, regardless of your age you can meet someone else who shares your beliefs.
I am 20. It is hard to find women who follow the Lord closely though.
9 minutes ago, Alia said: It isn't small differences in beliefs, my older brother is a minister at a baptist church and whilst we are still close, it isn't the same as when we were both baptists. The 2 faiths are not completely reconcilable so if that is what you are looking for, I recommend you leave your girlfriend.
That's so cool that your brother is a minister.
Yes it seems the likely option unless she is willing to change. I love her of course I do but that can't solve everything.
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16 hours ago, prisonchaplain said:
As for spiritual gifts, I had in mind when church members speak in tongues and another gives an interpretation (or somebody simply speaks out in English with a prophetic word). Very few SBC or independent Baptist churches would embrace those happenings. As for divine healing, yeah, most Christians believe in it vaguely, but to actually have times during a church service when elders lay hands on the sick and anoint with oil, petitioning God for miraculous healing...not so common, I suspect.
It wouldn't happen in church for someone to speak in tongues. I have known prophetic words to be spoken to the congregation about the church.
The church I attend now has a prayer team so at the end of a service you can go and be prayed for by one of the prayer team. It has happened in services that the preacher has named one of the prayer team as having the gift of healing and said to hurry to that person after the service.
When I was really young maybe 12 at the independent baptist church I grew up in the preacher told me I had the gift of prophecy.
Baptists don't like to make a show of spiritual gifts in church services, but we don't shy away from them all together.
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5 hours ago, Manners Matter said:
@AbramM I had a thought that I feel to share with you. The God I know wants to give us *everything* He Himself has. He also knows us personally. Maybe consider that He wants to give you more than what you already have and not just something to settle for. Consider that He knows you want to raise a family in a Christ-centered home. Consider that He knew you would meet this girl and come to care about her enough to propose marriage. Consider that none of this is a coincidence and is all meant to be for your highest good.
That said, there's a popular book (7 habits of highly effective people by S.R. Covey) and law #5 is "seek first to understand". This is a good rule of thumb to live by so may I suggest a different approach? Since you seem to be going about this church thing like you're just going to the mall to find a new pair of shoes, please consider 'trying on' her beliefs for 6 months (sincerely wanting to understand). Talk with the missionaries in your area, chat with them online (ComeUntoChrist.org), attend church services, listen to General Conference in 2 weeks, keep coming here to ask questions, listen to the music and pay attention to how it makes you feel (start here https://www.lds.org/music/library/childrens-songbook?lang=eng), maybe even read the Book of Mormon. Just go on this journey. You might be glad you did.
Consider that maybe God is trying to drop you a hint so take it (and keep us posted).
I don't know Ma'am.
I'm not trying churches on a whim I research their beliefs. I wouldn't go to a non protestant church or beliefs I find heretical. I know it probably hasn't come across in the thread but I am fully committed to my faith. It's hard to explain it but I have a walking faith with the Lord that if founded in Protestant theology.
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13 hours ago, prisonchaplain said:
see each other in Glory.
What a day of rejoicing that will be
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6 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:
I didn't say anything about not seeing each other's glory -- honestly I thought that was such a obvious given I didn't bother to state it.
@prisonchaplain was saying that despite the differences in Protestant denominations we will see each other IN glory. In other words we still expect to be with each other in heaven and then we will all worship the Lord together. He wasnt referring to seeing each other's glory now on earth, although we do that too to an extent.
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@Mores It is an option I suppose but I don't want to change my faith.
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5 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:
@AbramM, I really really would recommend studying & prayer first. You don't seem to realize the differences between all the churches you've been visiting and the different faiths they each teach. Which church you attend should be about faith & relationship with God, not music or sermon style.
Different denominations doesn't mean different faiths. There are cultural differences but the faith is largely the same.
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25 minutes ago, NightSG said:
Ok, that sort of narrows it down in basically the same way that saying "I'm on the ground" narrows down your street address.
Baptist ranges from SBC churches that wouldn't be caught dead drinking or dancing (not that they wouldn't do those things, mind you; they just wouldn't be caught doing them) to Primitive Baptists who have beer at church dances. If you can be a bit more specific, that might help.
I grew up going to an Independent Baptist church that was very similar to a Strict Baptist church, but now I go to a Southern Baptist church.
I do believe the bible condemns drinking so personally I don't drink. However, there is often alcohol available at church events. Although, lots of church members I know fully abstain.
15 minutes ago, NightSG said:Well, I was thinking there might be some hope for him until I ran across that mention of Hillsong.
Hillsong have some great songs :). We have a mixture of singing hymns, gospel songs and modern Christian music.
26 minutes ago, prisonchaplain said:except on matters of gifts of the Spirit, and perhaps divine healing, etc.).
I believe in Spiritual gifts and divine healing.
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7 minutes ago, Maureen said:
Here's a thought. Why don't the two of you check out Community of Christ. I am adding a link so you can check them out and find a congregation in your area. Hopefully the link is acceptable with the forum rules.
http://www.cofchrist.org/what-we-believe
M.
Oh it looks good. I don't know what the Book of Mormon or the other scripture mentioned besides the bible is but as long as they are devotional books we can try that church:)
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6 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:
Protestant children teaching the 5 Solas and to recite Creeds, she is not that.
Embarrassingly I don't even know what the 5 Solas are and the only Creed I have ever recited is the song by Hillsong.
I do believe that a Godly mother is essential to lead children to Christ. So it is important to me that my wife is teaching our children our beliefs.
10 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:you'd be willing to talk about things with her, and reach an understanding of her background, and a middle ground moving forward, that is possible.
You really need to talk with her about this.
Yeah I'm going to speak to her again. I was meant to see her tonight but I cancelled because I want to spend the evening in prayer.
9 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:Are you willing to sit down with missionaries and learn about LDS Christian beliefs?
I don't want to but if my girlfriend asked me to, I may agree to. I would have to pray about it first obviously.
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12 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:
Even if your girlfriend converts faiths (which is what you are asking her to do) to be a Protestant, LDS Christians will be part of your life and you need learn love and respect them.
It's her call.
I love every one as Christ says to.
Please can I ask your advice on finding a church to attend with my girlfriend.
in Advice Board
Posted
God has never put it in my heart that it is harmful to the child or the parent to have the infant baptized. And I've heard baptists rant for days about why it is.