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What exactly does this look like? Most working mothers end up relying heavily on others to help them with kids when their work must take priority . . . because that's how jobs work. In reality of day to day, the job comes first. So, I am curious what people mean by working and being mom, but mom takes priority. Is it like "quality time over quantity time"?

I hope you're right, and it's what my husband and I always did so I could stay home. We financially struggled at times, but we were overall very, very blessed - many times so directly that we could not deny the Lord's hand in it. I guess I'm just giving working women the benefit of the doubt, but I hope they really do prioritize the kids and stay home if they are able. We are in our early 40s. If it was hard for us, I just can't help but wonder how much harder it is for younger people, because of inflation, the cost of education, home prices, etc. I'm not talking about luxuries. For me personally, the very large recent jumps in household expenses have been needs. Insurance, property taxes, food, gas, and shelter....even water bills tripled in my neighborhood. I'm grateful that we are more established. How are people handling it who are just starting out in life? I think many of them get help from their parents.

I don't know what to make of it. It feels like we are abandoning truth. Reading comments on the post from working moms who live hectic, chaotic lives as if it's the better way just doesn't ring true to me. How can working full-time be consistent with putting your role as a mother first? Surely, other women/people are supplementing work in the home while you are prioritizing outside work. Surely, you are with co-workers for more hours in the day than you are with your children. It's a tough economy, and women probably have to work now. We can be realists about that and adjust and support each other as a religious community. But I doubt it's a good idea to change the narrative without explaining. It's not good for me to be gaslighted, like I'm the one who misinterpreted very clear messages from past leaders and church publications (not to mention my own experience and social science research).

How do you feel about calling a bishop "Bishop", even after he's been released? I remember being taught that it's a sign of respect, so I always do. Do you? Is it all the time, only at church, only in certain situations? What if the current bishop is in the same room? They are both "Bishop?" I'm wondering if it's become old-school or if people still do it. What are your opinions and why?

Did they have multiple callings? If so, then the Bishopric is in the wrong for not following the handbook and putting an unnecessary burden on the member to struggle with that situation. People are exercising faith when they accept callings, and a Bishop should consider their responsibility in extending callings. It would not be hard for OP's bishop to open his app and see the list of callings under OP's name. The burden should not be on a faithful young man, who wants to serve and sustain his leaders, to decide how to move forward. The bishop should read the handbook, pray to know the Lord's will regarding which calling is right for OP, and extend one calling. That's his job. OP's role is to faithfully accept.

One. From the Handbook:

Is temple ordinance worker considered a calling? I've never done that, so I didn't know. You guys are impressive, lots of you with multiple callings.

What about a second calling? Anyone say no to that? The handbook says that generally everyone has only one calling at a time. My ward has been giving some people multiple callings, and I wish they wouldn't burden certain people who are busy doing so much for the ward already. I wouldn't say no to a calling, but I would insist on being released from my old one! Although, it would depend on the season of life that I'm in. My dad has juggled 2-3 callings at a time, but he was retired and enjoyed having things to do. Anyway, years ago, I was asked to help take the burden off the organist by playing once a month. My husband was in the bishopric, and I'd just given birth to my 6th child. So I said no (I felt ok because it wasn't a calling...I already had a calling and ward organist was this other person's calling). My husband told them I said no, and he said they were really surprised I would say no. I wasn't there but always imagined them being disappointed in me. But I really felt like it was asking too much at the time! I was primary pianist already and 3 hours without being able to nurse a newborn was not going to work. I was overwhelmed and doing the best I could. So, I see other people who look like they're taking on too much, and I get mad at the bishopric for not following the handbook.

Thanks for sharing - sounds really interesting! I didn't know that there were journals and would love to get a glimpse into a prophet's thoughts. I bet it is especially interesting given the time frame he was prophet. Thanks for mentioning the book!

I always understood the 2nd Article of Faith to be referring to Judgment Day and not at all what happens to us in this life. In the specific example of Adam's transgression, you could say that we ARE all "punished." Men are that they may have joy, but we are certainly here as a result of Adam and Eve's choice. As I understand it, the doctrine seems to say that it's only an earthly consequence and that we are all agents unto ourselves to choose eternal life or death amidst whatever circumstance we are in. That includes a fallen state, as well as poverty, disease, war, bondage, curses, etc. that may be a reality because of our parents' choices. The belief, then, that we will be punished for our own sins means we do not have to repent for others' sins, even if they greatly affect our lives. We repent of our sins only. We are not held accountable for the Fall and do not need to repent for being fallen.

I've never heard of it. What are some reasons you would you recommend it?

I can't remember for sure, but probably a little over 2 years. Maybe I should experiment and keep one longer to see how far it'll go. But I do use them in my cooking and try to go through the jars before they get too close to expiration. I've got a bunch in my closet and under my bed that do great - they smell/taste fresh when opened!

I can meat with a pressure cooker. Someone taught me years ago that it is shelf stable for 3 years, so I rotate it using that guideline, and it works well.

Kiddos Forever home Let's get a bite You/I got this Right on What can I do you for? Any kind of "hack" "You know that . . ." - I think it's rude and condescending to say this

And most people agree with you. The movie didn't feel right to me. I have impressionable kids at home, and there are so many other options of movies to watch that I feel better avoiding Luca. I disagree that it wasn't meant to be interpreted that way, as I already mentioned. Just my opinion. These days? Yes, there is a lot that we don't watch. But, if we are talking about all of the great Disney movies from over the years, then I don't agree with it being anywhere near 90% at all. They have shied away from LGBT for a long time, because they know their audience. And the audience is changing, of course, with younger generations raising kids. That's why they have been throwing in "nods," as you say. I'm fine with many of the nods. To me, Luca was different. And it was so plain to me that I don't understand why others don't agree with me, but I respect their opinions. I also didn't like the movie in general so, again, it's easy to avoid. You were the one who brought it up haha so I feel a bit baited. Did I miss some sarcasm in your question?

Yes, I did. My kids and I watched Luca the day it was released. My kids are not allowed to watch it anymore. I was thinking it was more about homosexuality than transgenderism so I'd have to watch it again to decide if it applies there, too. It was interesting to me that so many people didn't think it was LGBT. OK, so...it was not literally about that. The director even clarified such, saying that they were prepubescent boys and there was no romance going on. This is true. But the language and themes in the movie seem to be making a point and wanting to influence children to think a certain way. It seems to come from the viewpoint that people are homophobic and attempts to show that there's nothing to fear. Some say you'd have to be looking hard to see parallels. I couldn't not see them. And I can't be convinced it wasn't deliberate. Not to mention that Disney + has put out openly gay content recently. Have you seen the animated short, "Out?" They waited a little while for us all to be comfortable with the streaming service and then started putting LGBT stuff on there. I think they want to normalize it on their platform a little bit at a time.

Thank you sharing this. This experience has definitely made me approach my second son's upcoming departure differently! I'm trying to be excited with him, but I find myself saying a lot, "Well, you know....such and such is going to be very difficult and how do you think you are going to handle it?" And if his brother ends up returning early, that will open up some interesting conversations for him to ponder.

Thank you so much

Thank you for your love and prayers, truly. I came here because there's no one I want to talk to about it in person, at this time. And you have been very kind and helpful. Thank you for trying to understand. When it comes to details about the hard time he's had, I either don't actually know anything myself or don't want to share personal info about him. It feels too vulnerable to post publicly, so I was hoping to keep it vague. Thanks again.

Correct. About 8 months in the first. He is NOT coming home as a DIRECT reaction to his mission being reassigned. He's not pouting. He's not saying, "Well, that's not fair, that's it, I quit!" He had unique struggles in the new mission that were not present in the first one. I think he coped and "hung in there" by hanging on to the fact that it was only temporary. In hindsight, of course, that wasn't healthy. It would have been better to assume he was finishing in the new mission. But it was honestly crazy, a year ago, to think Covid restrictions would last this long. And, to be fair, they didn't. His country DID open up, and they have sent missionaries back. There was no reason for him or us to not hope/assume. They started sending missionaries from his MTC district back to the original mission at the end of December. So, naturally, he looked forward to what he thought would be his turn as they were all sent out. Again, in hindsight, this was not healthy. But we were praying for him as a family to get to go back, and we would regularly ask him if he'd heard anything yet (we were trying to be excited and supportive). For a couple of months he thought he'd go back any day. And then he found out he wasn't going back. I don't know if that makes sense or changes the way you see it. It's the situation he's currently in that he doesn't think he can continue with, and his hope of being relieved soon is gone. So, you are correct that there are other issues going on for which he would come home. I'm wondering if I'm making it sounds like his first mission was easy and the second one was hard? His first one was NOT easy, and he is used to working hard. When I say he struggled, it's about his personal strengths and weaknesses and how they make different environments better or worse.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for the advice. I'm very much in the middle of it right now and want to DO what I can/should do, which isn't clear. My husband and I barely even talk about it, because we both feel....paralyzed? Stuck? Confused? Broken? I don't even know. I'm going to do my best to give it to God, because it is feeling more and more like that's all I can do. Maybe then He'll be more willing to direct me to any actions I should take or things I should say. And I read the link. Thank you.

Of quitting. Having written that several days ago, I'm not sure why I wrote it or what it has to do with anything. I suspect that I was feeling mad at him at the time. I've been on a roller coaster of emotions, trying to sort them out. I looked up who his mission president is yesterday, so now I know. Yes, we keep in contact with my son regularly, but he calls him "the mission president." I've never had correspondence with him directly. My husband might have talked to him once about how to get my son's bike to the mission, or maybe it was someone else who works in the office. Thank you. This is good advice and a fair observation from someone looking in. I still don't agree that he is better off, psychologically, being kept where he is. But...you have a good point that I don't know the details about what he's shared with his therapist. If I knew everything, I could very well come to the same conclusion. The feelings my son HAS shared with me are sadness at being excluded and a little bit of wondering what's wrong with him. I watched him thrive in his original mission and then really, really struggle shortly after getting to the reassigned mission. So, it's hard for me to see how the WHERE doesn't play a part. A few weeks ago, we did reach out to the Stake President to see if he could advocate for us, and he talked to the mission (that seems to be the proper channel) and they said he was staying put but wouldn't disclose anything else. Still waiting to hear back on what they have to say about my son coming home. Thanks again for your advice. I'm not really feeling better yet but finding things to keep me busy, so I don't get overwhelmed with the devastation.

No, it's not wrong. I used quotes around the word "punished" because I realize that no one has ill will against my son or a desire to punish him. But keeping him from returning to his mission after being told that he could return once it opened up is effectively a punishment - in the same sense that taxing the rich at a higher rate is "punishment" for hard work. It's a negative consequence, whether or not it is justified; assuming that he's being held back because of a mental health policy. You say he "developed a medical condition" as if it wasn't a result of the Covid situation. I cannot be convinced that counselling and meds while being isolated in a hotel, with very little to do, are "the care that he needs" more than returning to where he was previously healthy and felt a sense of belonging and purpose. At the risk of sounding even more defensive, and I realize I do, it's not disobedient or unwilling or unfaithful to want to return to your original mission. I am on several Facebook pages of missionary parents and there has been chatter for months about when certain countries/missions are going to open back up. And everyone has been anxiously anticipating their chance to return to their original assignment. Even the Church News page that I follow has shared some stories of missionaries who worried they wouldn't get to serve in the mission they were called to and were openly disappointed at the idea. But whenever they DID get to go, they have rejoiced. Some missionaries ended up liking their reassignment better, but most have expressed a desire to go back to their original mission if they can. And the church seems to be trying hard to make that possible for as many as they can. I'm coming here with his and my honest feelings and struggles in anonymity for advice and sympathy. We don't complain to people in person, and he has tried to remain optimistic. Absolutely, he needs to exercise faith. That we can agree on. But it's not my decision, it's his, and I can only hope and pray and counsel.

This is a great answer and so very helpful! He's my oldest and I'm used to having a say as a mom! It's hard not being in the loop. My son was the one who told us about his treatment, but he only mentioned it a little. And I had never considered that they wouldn't tell me, so it caught me off-guard and was so weird. But, I totally get what you're saying here and it's a fact of life I have to get used to as my kids grow up. Thanks for your understanding, and I hope it turns out all right in the end!

Thank you so much for your reply! I know what you mean, this is how it was originally! It was tough, but then it became personal when the country opened up and they starting sending missionaries back. He was the only one not sent, presumably because of the mental health treatment. Thank you for your sympathies. I get the sense that people don't understand fully how difficult this year has been for the missionaries. Maybe they do...it's been hard for all of us, no matter what phase of life we are in.