Misshalfway

Well, that's our first mistake! Letting congress try to solve a problem!

usually late. Oh the shame!!! Dill or sweet? (pickles)

My heart goes out to you! What a burden to shoulder so early in your marriage! But perhaps it will be a blessing that it has come out so soon. I can't say I have any expert answers on the subject of transgender. But I would say that someone who is participating is such activities is putting their own salvation on the line. And would also be breaking covenants. I think sometimes people stay in very unhealthy and painful and even dangerous marriages because they are afraid to break covenants or vows. But if one party is participating in a life altering sinful lifestyle, isn't the covenant already broken? What covenant would you be breaking then if you left in such a circumstance? (Can't remember if you are sealed or not. Sorry.) How could his actions impact your standing with God? You are both individuals and will be judged as such. Remember God doesn't expect you to be perfect on your own. God knows and understands imperfections and unmet expectations and when situations fall short. Tender Mercies! Tender Mercies! I qualify all my statements by saying that the counsel of your personal priesthood leaders and the Spirit of the HG should trump any of this. And just from a very human and female stand point, I would feel lied to if I were in your shoes. Understanding this about your H would have been nice to know before you made vows to each other! I think there is some betrayal there that I think your H should own. I think getting professional support could be very helpful here too. LDSSS may have some therapist with expertise and who can help you understand the depth of what you need to know in order to proceed with inevitable decisions. And if your marriage ends, then your marriage ends. God will bless such a circumstance. I am confident. Don't you let that shame in!! Shame NEVER comes from God. Instead be gentle with yourself. You will do fine. Stay strong and centered. Remember that Father in Heaven loves you and your H and understands the depths of this situation and He also knows what is best for you. He will listen to your heart and help guide you according to your needs and wants!

Thank you to the OP for your careful and powerful post. I feel so much the same way. I find myself now avoiding conversations that are contentious or demeaning -- conversations that I would otherwise enjoy. There is no crime in asking questions. No sin in having concerns. Most of us have them at one time or another. And in this church, I think having concerns can be scary to admit. Not that I don't think there are answers and tremendous blessings that come from emerging from such tests of faith. I think it is more the interpersonal disconnects that come from so many "natural man" tendencies. Having been thru a very recent struggle of faith myself, my heart has grown in compassion for others who struggle.....and also surprisingly for those faithful who don't understand or who struggle not to judge. More and more I realize how human we all are! And how we are all in our own individual and dynamic process thru this life. Satan I believe works on all of us. That we all have in common! :) Perhaps while one is being tempted to give into the doubt, another is being flattered into pride. I suppose it all comes down to love. Love suffers long and is kind. Seeketh not her own! I know you all know those Bible and BofM verses. I was also thinking of this one.... 1 Peter 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Perhaps we can all be patient and kind with one another as our struggles over self are exposed as we converse with one another. To everyone who is questioning and to the rest who sometimes forget that it is ok to do so -- Peace.

I would just add to this wonderful descriptions, that the church has singles wards (i am sure you are familiar what wards are, PC :) ) that are specifically designed to help college aged church members. They worship together, and also teach and lead each other in those services and conduct lots of weekly fhe and other activities. They have firesides and parties and dances and service projects. All of these are designed to help students strengthen and maintain testimony while promoting an atmosphere of constant gospel study.

Well, it sounds like to me that you guys really love this girl and want the best for her.

What? You can't be serious?

Absolutely! I guess I am just trying to say that while attractiveness is important ( not playing down that importance in anyway) it is not the only thing. And when a complete package is turned down because she doesn't look like a magazine, it is frustrating. I suppose it is the same frustration I am hearing from the men. Perhaps we are all a little superficial and have to get out of our own way from time to time. And you know, what good is attraction in the long run? It alone can't keep the fire burning! It runs out for most of us anyway. We get wrinkles and love handles and hairy ears! The more important qualities should be on the list too and given balanced measure, Imo.

It is not about what you do or don't have. It is about what you do with what you have. That was my point -- lack of attention to personal finance, not better be rich or you are off my list!

I think beauty and handsomeness, as the case may be, have more to do with what is going on inside of a person. It isn't the look that is really attractive. I have met many pretty men, only to smell the stench of self absorption. I have also met the more garden variety and found them to be so handsome and sexy and irresistible because of that little intangible something shining from the inside. Don't you guys see the same in women? All the looks are just hooks anyway. At the end of the day, we all wash off the makeup and take off the shoes.

Yes. I totally agree with this.

Women care about looks and money. I guarantee that and lack of personal hygiene and attention to personal finance is indeed a turn off! But they don't trump our desire for what is real on the inside and real in terms of showing up to the relationship with meaningful and rewarding contribution. I think we do like confident men. It makes us feel safe. And we really like that!!!!

Hey mike. Just curious. As you look at these historical evidential pieces and struggle with them, do you also struggle with the doctrine in the BofM as well? Or have you just determined that it may be truth but just copied truth from other sources? Thanks.

Sorry Check. Who is saying he shouldn't go to his parents? Who is saying that he shouldn't jump in and fight for her salvation?

Ooooo! Yummy! Lavender! Comedians: Jack Black or Steve Martin?

People have their agency. Love works together with agency. It is kind and long suffering and patient. That means patient with choices and reactions whatever they may be. That means allowing people to move away and still maintaining friendship and acceptance and disciplining our ever incessant need to judge. I think the only time reaching out pushes people farther away from the church is when the action comes from an overture of condemnation or ultimatum or impatience or sanctimony. If we genuinely love people, and I mean seeing who they are not necessarily what they do, the warmth and connection will defy all offense. You ever been with a person who really cared about you and then chose to reject them? Not saying it doesn't happen, just saying it is much less likely. When someone feels the love of the Savior, they are never the same. We love Him, because He first loved us!

My first question is how will your parents react? Will they over react? Will they jump on your little sister in their horror and panic? Or do they have the emotional tools to deal with this situation in love compassion and wisdom? If you tell them, and they are able to behave in a way that is productive, even honest, but in a spirit of healing and forgiveness (even with limits and consequences applied) then I think you do her a service by telling them. You are telling them out of love to rescue her. Is there a chance you could have a face to face with your sister? Talk to her about her actions directly in a spirit of love and concern. Maybe then you could inform her of your intensions. Invite her to tell your parents. Offer to go with her. Explain under what circumstances you would reveal her activities if she chooses a different path. Perhaps also listen to her concerns and try to understand her position and see if the Spirit brings anymore wisdom to you as you listen.

Why is working with less actives such an intimidating experience? Why do we shy away from people who appear to us as descending? Why do we judge based upon such little information? And then huddle in our groups or Q's and discuss them as if they are not really there? Does the love in our hearts just freeze up? Was it never matured enough in the first place? What are we so afraid of? That someone will disagree with us or find fault with something we love? Like that is anything knew or anything to be feared! A sure testimony defies fear. Why is it that we react this way without even finding out what the problem may be? I guess my question is where is the love? Not to mention patience, understanding, empathy, and Spirit! I wonder how many less actives feel like the lepers of old......as all the "actives" run around pointing and silently yelling "unclean"!

Oh Dude! Take out all the way!!! Italian or Chinese....or Thai?

I can understand how you would feel these emotions as a parent. I get a little nervous though, when I see the YW pres or Bishop put in the middle. They are confidants in this situation. Telling you would most likely have hurt your daughter deeply and definitely betrayed and compromised trust. A bishop is absolutely under restrictions not to discuss information he receives into his confidence. I think the issue you have is really with your daughter. She didn't come to you. She didn't trust you with the information and it was that action that prevented you from being the parent you wanted to be. I can understand that pain, but can also understand the fear she must have felt in telling her parents that she had fallen from grace. How do you face your parents knowing what something like this does to how they see you? The fear of such outcomes was probably too much for her. But all is not lost. Perhaps a missed opportunity, but the good news is that she did repent. Maybe without your involvement, but certainly because of your loving influence! And maybe part of being a parent too, is to at some point let our children have a personal life and trust them with it.

I am not generally a fan of watching golf, but I gotta say that Tiger was beautiful this week at the Open. I mean the knee injury and the really bad start and then that amazing come back! Wow. He is definitely worth the price of admission! (a commentator said that and I totally agree!) Looking forward to watching more.

Can't say I care much about shoes! Something sexy about a guy who can wear scrappy shoes and still look good! I think nice shoes says money! My theory on that!

Alma fasted and prayed many days to know all of these things. I don't know if it all comes in a moment. At least it hasn't for me. It is the woven fabric of many spiritual experiences that has strengthened my security with this church and its message. Feeling good about the Bofm is certainly part of it. But there is much much more than can come to a person! :)

Thanks for the update, Kona!! Happy homecoming! Keep us informed.

Awesome!:lol: