Teaching kids on how to deal with a drunk

[NeuroTypical]

My non-LDS step-sister likes to rib me about how mormons are totally clueless on how to deal with drunks. I think she's got a point, although it's not necessarily an LDS specific thing.

So what do you think - what should we raise our daughters to do if they ever have something like this happen? (The link is to a live news report where the reporter lady is grabbed and kissed by a drunk guy, and can't really do anything but laugh nervously.)

LM

[utcowboy]

I think the reporter handled it well... If there was more to it the there would most likely be a problem. Handling drunks isn't much different then handling other people. The first rule in anything should be "Be nice", if that don't work teach her tie kwon doe and let the drunks fall where they may.

[ampat777]

There are a few categories of drunks.

- The funny ones that keep laughing and telling jokes. They´re easy to handle and don´t do any harm.

- The agressive ones who will get mad and try to attack you if you don´t agree with them.

- The ones looking for trouble. They just go around and try to find someone to hit and start a fight.

- The depressive ones. Will tell their live story and are depressed, looking for help.

But... none of them will probably stop drinking if you tell them to. Not when they´re drunk and you´re there.

So the best is not to get into discussions with them and mind the ones that could do any harm.

[Dr T]

I'm not convinced he was drunk in that clip. He could have been but he could have also been sober and wild/crazy from the wrestling matches. Especially following the mentioning of the Boogiewoggie man. I can see that possibly coming up as a persona of that wrestler is mentioned. Good question though LM.

[Hemidakota]

Being a convert, I have no problems in dealing with any drunk or teaching the same method to my children.

[Iggy]

I don't think he was drunk either, and I would I have said - Get me some Iodine!

LM, if our daughters are going to be around people who are drinking on a regular basis - such as waitressing where liquor is being served, then perhaps they should seek out training from professionals on how to handle VIP's. (Visibly Intoxicated Persons).

The local law enforcement agency's along with the liquor licensing board should have these classes readily available. In Oregon state, one can not get a license to serve alcoholic beverages (in restaurants, lounges, bars, taverns) without successfully going through these classes. The owners of these establishments have to go through the training too. Plus at each renewal of your license you must go through the class again.

If the drunk is a family member, then it is up to the parent to guide and teach their children how to handle the person.

My mothers brothers were drunks- actually they were and are alcoholics. After several years of their drunken behavior at our home, Dad laid down the law and said that if they had been drinking, they were not welcome. He didn't want his children (7 of us) subjected to their drunkenness, foul mouths and yelling. My family were not members of the Church- not until many, many years later. When my Uncles showed up drunk with their wives and children, Daddy grabbed them by the shirt collar and britches and chucked them out into the street. He forbade them entrance into our home or yard. They knew better than push the point and generally walked home to pass out.

After the third time, they never showed up drunk or even drinking again. Made for much nicer family gatherings.

If your children see that you are unaccepting of certain behavior, that you gently and firmly will not allow it, then they too will follow suit.

ampat777 is correct about the different types of drunks and the way to deal with them. I bar-tended for over 20 years and the first lesson I learned is to never, never confront a drunk in the presence of others nor to do it loudly. When I refused to serve a drunk, I did so very gently, quietly and only to the drunk. If he persisted and got others involved, then I would calmly and in a non-confrontational way re-enforce that he was not getting served and now the rest of you are not getting served. Any more discussion would thus result in calling the local police and all of them being arrested for trespassing. That generally shut them all up and got the drunk quieted down.

I never backed down, and I did press charges. I even had one of the local police officers arrested for drunkeness. He was off duty and he was a loud, obnoxious and mean drunk. For that arrest I called the Sheriff's department. They were more than willing to cart him off.

[skalenfehl]

She handled it well. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but that legally constitutes an assault and depending on the situation merits a knee to the groin in self defense and/or notifying the police.

[Iggy]

She handled it well. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but that legally constitutes an assault and depending on the situation merits a knee to the groin in self defense and/or notifying the police.

If he hadn't let go when he did, or came back and did it again- I would have put my arms out to block him from getting past my 3ft of personal space again. Had he pushed I would then have screamed for the police. If I had been her age, I would have kneed him as I was screaming.

[Bookmeister]

Nope, that's an assault, which is generally defined as any sort of unwanted touching. However, many places will require that the person being "assaulted" be in some fear. There can often be a requirement as well that the person making the "assault" have an intent to create a harm or a fear of harm.

However (and who doesn't love how a lawyer can speak out of both sides of his or her mouth), a court would probably not consider it an assault if you tapped a stranger on the shoulder.

But prosecutors and cops being, well, prosecutors and cops....not to mention those folks who happen to believe in financial freedom through litigation...LOL

[ruthiechan]

Thank you for this thread. I got some good learning here.

About the dude in the vid, he may have been tipsy, but not full blown drunk.

[RachelleDrew]

As a convert it won't be a problem.

I think the biggest thing we need to teach our children about intoxicated adults is

A. Never get into a vehicle with someone who may be under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

B. Try to avoid arguing or debating with someone who may be intoxicated.

C. Avoid being alone with someone who may be intoxicated (especially our girls).

D. Your gut instinct is usually right, if you are nervous or fearful about someone who is intoxicated, leave the situation immediately.