30 things every woman should have & should know by the time she’s 30

[RainofGold]

30 THINGS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE & SHOULD KNOW BY THE TIME SHE’S 30

BY 30, YOU SHOULD HAVE:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.

5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking to forward to retelling it in your old age.

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.

8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.

9. A résume that is not even the slightest bit padded.

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

13. The belief that you deserve it.

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

BY 30, YOU SHOULD KNOW:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.

2. How you feel about having kids.

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.

8. How to take control of your own birthday.

9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.

11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

15. Why they say life begins at 30.

Edited October 2, 2008 by RainofGold
30 THINGS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE & SHOULD KNOW BY THE TIME SHE’S 30

[Lbybug]

2 and a half years to complete this list....*starts now*

[WANDERER]

Having Contentedness of Being:being happy with who you are and enjoying the moment.

Knowing what is really important/ in contrast to what seems essential at the time.

Your gen(eration) now owns popular culture:you've just gone mainstream (yes, all those favourite songs from your teens and twenties are now getting more airplay than they ever did then).

How to adjust from challenging authority.... to being the authority.

30 is the new 20.

Edited October 1, 2008 by WANDERER

[Gwen]

should have by the time she's 30..........hummm............... a husband finished with school and making an acceptable income, 6-8 kids, 2 yr supply of food storage, and a good psychotherapist

should know by the time she's 30......... how to make her husband happy, how to spend his money, how to keep her kids in line, how to use her food storage, and a good psychotherapist.

(for those that missed it, i'm kidding)

[NeuroTypical]

Excelent Gwen! My wife has 2/4, and knows 4/5, so she's humming along nicely.

LM

(An LSCW counts, right?)

[ruthiechan]

should know by the time she's 30......... how to make her husband happy,

Actually I feel that this is a serious one. Many women after getting married start nagging and complaining and being an unpleasant unfun person to be around. In short, they start treating their husbands badly, and they often don't even realize it until someone clubs them over the head with something.

If you want to have a happy life and a happy marriage be good and kind and giving to your man, and that involves more than housekeeping and taking care of the kids. If you do he'll reciprocate and you both will be so much happier.

Hopefully a woman will figure this out before the age of thirty. . .

[Iggy]

For crying out loud, why did you delete your original post rainofgold? Talk about a thread not flowing!

No human being is responsible for making another person happy. That is a load of crap that manipulators shove down their victims throats.

begin quote - - If you can't make me happy- then you are not worthy to be my wife/husband. - -end quote

The ONLY person that one can make happy is yourself, and no other. When you cease the futile attempts to MAKE your husband happy,then you will cease feeling frustrated, unhappy and like a total failure. It is not your job nor you responsibility to MAKE husband or children happy.

Make your self happy by doing what you know is right for you, as long as you do not hurt others in doing so. If you live your life according to the gospel principles, obey the commandments, and hold to the rod- then you will be happy and thus your family will be happy with you.

When baby/children is/are cranky and unhappy- and you can not find a reason for this- check your attitude. Are you stressed, cranky and unhappy? Tale time to de-stress your life, eat properly, get sufficient sleep and you will soon be happy and so will your family.

It also is not husbands job or duty to make wife and family happy. Same reasons apply.

It is his duty to protect and provide for his family. Provide food, shelter, means to clothes themselves. But it is not his duty to MAKE his family happy.

So, throw out that phrase - Make your husband/wife/family happy. Start making your life follow the guidelines of the gospel doctrines and gospel principles. Walk in the light of Christ- life worthily so that the Holy Ghost is your constant companion and you will find that you are happy, and that your husband/wife/family are positively affected by you.

- - - stepping off of soap box - - -

[Gwen]

i agree with your premise iggy.........yes i'm going to say but lol........but, we are responsible to a certain degree. maybe a better way to say it would be learn how to contribute to your spouse/family's happiness. though it's not "our job" and we "can not" make another happy. what we do does effect others and we have a particular obligation to those we love most.

for example, something we were joking about in chat. i do not knowingly or willingly share a toothbrush. i think it's absolutely disgusting even for married ppl. my husband aparently has no issue with it whatsoever. lol we'll leave the rest of that story out as it's irrelevent. if he uses my toothbrush he isn't "hurting" anyone. it doesn't change his happiness to do so. i don't know, maybe it makes him happy to use my toothbrush then he doesn't have to remember what color his is, one less thing to think about each day. either way if i get upset about it, yes it's "my choice". but come on... how hard is it to say; you know, i don't care but that seemed to really upset her. i'll refraine from using her toothbrush so she doesn't feel like she has to hide it. i'll take this in my opinion very silly situation seriously cause it is to her. he contributes to my happiness..... or my choice to be annoyed if he doesn't take it seriously.

so no he's not "responsible" but he is responsible to "help" where and when he can. as am i to him.

making any since?..... i know i'm splitting hairs, it's a talent of mine.

[Fiannan]

The ONLY person that one can make happy is yourself, and no other. When you cease the futile attempts to MAKE your husband happy,then you will cease feeling frustrated, unhappy and like a total failure. It is not your job nor you responsibility to MAKE husband or children happy.

I hope you were joking about this. Thing is, it should be a goal of both husband and wife to make each other happy. Remember, if a wife (or husband) stops trying to do this for the other spouse there's going to be someone else out there ready and willing to step in and do the job.

[BenRaines]

So true Fiannan. Selfishness "What about my needs?" is what gets people to forget their spouse and seek comfort or getting their needs met elsewhere.

I think it was President Kimball that said "Any two unselfish people will have a very successful marriage" It is when selfishness manifests itself that marriages end up in trouble. That selfishness can be in any kind of personal excess to the exclusion of the other partner. I could go on and on about this but look at any marriage breakup and it was due to selfishness of one partner or both.

Ben Raines

[Misshalfway]

It is an interesting balancing act between our responsibilities to ourselves and our responsibilities to our spouses and even others in our lives.

I think we can influence the happiness of our partners....but I think it is when we become dependent on our spouses or others to make us happy that things fall out of balance. I think this is a silent selfishness that happens a lot in the church. We are sold the idea that a spouse can solve problems and make us happy from the time we are born. But it is the institution of healthy marriage, I think that is what brings happiness, not the conforming of a spouse to some list of expectations.

I mean sometimes we are available for our spouses for help or support....and sometimes we are not or we simply cannot be there. Does that make us selfish? Maybe....but not always. We can only do what we can do and we shouldn't feel guilty or pressured because we fail to make someone else happy. Or take on the responsibility if our spouse is unhappy for a time. Trying to make someone happy is controlling and trying to get someone to make us happy is controlling too. It is a lose-lose for all involved.

We take care of ourselves and our needs, first and foremost inside of our relationships. And we have a responsibility to ourselves to do that in the best possible way. And if we have made covenants, we then have a responsibility to God and our spouses to act in loving and pro-trusting ways. But that doesn't mean that we become responsible for another's choices or thinking or feelings or mistakes.

For example....it isn't my H's job to make me feel sexy or attractive. That is my job. I bring my self love and "attractiveness" to the table. And he brings his love to the table too. And it just so happens that when I do that, he becomes more attracted to me. This is proper balance. Anything else is placing responsibility where it doesn't belong. We both give to each other in this way. But we don't make happiness happen for the other. We do it together. We give to the whole of our togetherness properly and then we achieve harmony and satisfying happiness.

Balance.....it is a tough and confusing thing sometimes. And I don't know one marriage that is immune from learning these lessons.

[NeuroTypical]

How about this:

Place your spouse's happiness above your own

(That way, we're not all fighting about responsibility, and who 'makes' who happy...)

LM

[Rico]

30 THINGS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE & SHOULD KNOW BY THE TIME SHE’S 30

BY 30, YOU SHOULD HAVE:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking to forward to retelling it in your old age.

8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.

13. The belief that you deserve it.

BY 30, YOU SHOULD KNOW:

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

So let me understand this correctly.

1) A woman should have an old boyfriend she would like to return to, even if it means sneaking around on her husband.

6) Juicy past? What is that?

8) A woman should have a private email address, voice mailbox, and bank account that her husband doesn't have access to. In other words, a woman should keep secrets from her husband and lie to him.

13) A woman deserves to get fat when she overeats. Is that what you are talking about?

I remember one older teacher when I was in Thailand. She was often encouraging younger female teachers to have their own money. She would advise women to lie to their husband about their salaries and stockpile their own savings, even to the detriment of their families. My wife related to me how she was worried about this teacher because obviously she was having trouble with her own marriage, but more than that, she was trying to make others just as miserable as she is.

A woman has a responsibility to her husband and a husband has a responsibility to his wife. It's a sad thing when either one lies to the other and either one cheats on the other, in their mind or in their actions. We are in this thing together and unless we are united, it's hard to find success.

I encourage my wife to have her own savings and I don't check my wife's email. Trust is there, but I would feel like the trust was broken if I found out she had a secret email or a secret bank account.

[lilered]

A good marriage has to have mutual trust and respect. If either spouse has secrets in the marriage, then it is doomed for failure. IMHO